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Does Slylock see anything suspicious? He sees multiple species together in a room where bodily fluids might mix, a hothouse for zoonotic diseases. Like the axolotl-echidna pulmonary virus that wiped out most of mankind, leading animal to sapience and power. No, nothing suspicious here; just good policy designed to keep the few remaining humans down. Slylock smiles. The future is assured.” –Voshkod

Runners up? Runners up!

“‘Now that summer is here and lots of us are headed outdoors…’ Wrong on both counts, dipshit.” –nescio

“Relax everyone, Slylock is not a perv. Just a normal predator, hungrily eyeing all those succulent mammal babies.” –Peanut Gallery

“Extremely excited for the return of the producer who pitied Les for being a towering genius who crafted beautiful artwork that was too good, too noble for the crass world of commercial entertainment. It’s Les Moore jackoff season on Funky Winkerbean and it’s quarantine, NOBODY’S ALLOWED TO LEAVE” –Dan

“Fun fact, coral is an animal! I’ll bet it has been granted the same sentience as all of the other animals. Does it realize it’s wearing a diamond ring? Or is it oblivious because it has no eyes or ears or any other way for its sentience to interact with the outside world and is trapped in an eternal solitary confinement in which its sentience is a curse? Will Slylock recognize the sentient coral, or will he treat it like an inanimate object? Will it be a blessing or a curse when the coral’s solitude is interrupted by the trauma or Slylock snapping off an appendage to retrieve the ring?” –Glires

“Hugo is losing points in the ‘Fake French’ department. As at least Lois is wearing a beret.” –The Dimensional Otter

“You have to give Lois credit for effort since she’s trying to sell houses on New Year’s Day, Easter, Chinese New Year, Passover, and Nowruz. ABC, Lois, ABC.” –But What Do I Know?

“Remember, Jughaid is being raised by his aunt and uncle. Jughaid’s actual parents really were murdered in front of him, in the 1940s. He’s just so lazy it took him this long to turn into Batman.” –Banana Jr. 6000

“Also, do you have a copy of your book where the title on the spine is listed as Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? ‘Cause that’s the only way this plan of mine works.” –Joe Blevins

“It’s interesting that the receptionist is peeved that this patient doesn’t have a mask on but isn’t wearing one herself. She’s actually more likely than most people to be asymptomatic but contagious, given all the sick people she comes in contact every day. But why shouldn’t she be both snippy and hypocritical? This is the Morgan Clinic, and she’s staying on-brand.” –BigTed

“That’s the general idea, yes. But feel free to loudly say the words ‘cough, cough’ with your mask on. Onomatopoeia really helps Dr. Morgan diagnose symptoms.” –Mighty Sean Young

“That receptionist has just about had it with humoring people who feel a need to verbally clarify the obvious purpose of mundane objects.” –Christopher Robin

“Is Cindy pulling into the garage? No, she’s driving into a gaping black void, just like every other character in this godforsaken strip.” –jeltranksss

“Child Protective Services should investigate how many dangerous situations Rusty finds himself in — except that the landmark case Trail v. United States decreed that Rusty cannot be classified as a ‘human child.’” –Ettorre

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