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“It’s clear that Les’s real issue with these young women is their unbridled joy and vigor — qualities he’s come to hate the way Gollum hates the sun.” –Bill L

And your very funny runners up!

“On Father’s Day, Cherry lets Mark talk about whatever disgusting animal facts he wants and he takes full advantage of it. Cherry’s reward is that it gets Mark horny, so this is the one time a year they actually have sex.” –Pozzo

“I will say this: the look of mild disgust on Mason’s face at that line either shows he’s as disgusted as we are, or he’s really worked on adopting Les’s anhedonia.” –Mumbles

“Only my dear dead Lisa is good enough to play my dear dead Lisa! [grabs shovel]” –Chance

“Public Service Announcement: there’s no door in the back of that opera box, just a bizarrely-placed drawn curtain. Leroy and Loretta will die up there, although one may survive longer after inevitably killing and eating the other. Remember kids, if you’re going to the theatre, make sure you sit somewhere that’s physically accessible.” –Truckosaurus

A hawk? For your establishing shot animal in New York? Fuck off, Mark Trail. I’ll accept pizza rat or maybe a pigeon stealing from a halal cart.” –Irrischano

“I didn’t read the bat plot, so today’s Mark Trail is totally out of context for me, but yes, sure, I believe it. If there’s one man who would take time out in the middle of an action-packed brawl with human traffickers to note that white-nose syndrome is caused by the fungus Pseudogymnoascus destructans and has affected over 90 percent of bats in the US since 2006, it’s Mark.” –Dan

“Hi and Lois are just now discovering pop tops? They’re going to FREAK when someone tells them about microwave ovens!” –Steve Berlin, on Facebook

“The chili appears to be on fire in the last panel. Anyone who’s ever made the mistake of burning chili peppers knows just how fucking painful the smoke is. It hurts your eyes, nose, and throat. It hurts to breathe in, but the coughing is worse. What I’m saying is that today’s Blondie is much more palatable if you know that everyone in that last panel is actively suffering.” –Rosstifer

“You’re a plugger if you notice, much less care, that Hi & Lois is stealing your bit.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“I am very here for Hi and Lois’s inability to sustain the smallest moment of joy.” –matt w

“The entire updated Mary Worth drawing style has now been justified entirely, if only for that eye-roll. This is why Gen Z kids are so spiritual and intuitive — apparently, they can see all the way up into their own brains.” –BigTed

“Saul can’t relate to Madi’s clothing problems because he just wears the same blazer and bowtie every day. If he tried mixing up his look, he’d see the value of a good hallway floordrobe, too.” –jroggs

“The proper term, Gil Thorp, is Aztec or Mexitin, not the pejorative ‘sun-seeker.’ All will be forgiven if the losers of the game are marched across the Coyolxauhqui Stone before their sacrifice to Huitzilopochtli, praise be to the Southern Hummingbird, may his brightness raise the crops and overthrow his brothers.” –Voshkod

“How exactly does this guy have a suburban-living-room window in his office, when the entire building is made of giant glass triangles? Is he an extremely boring wizard?” –Mr. A

“I love those coffee mugs with the tiny handles at the top. Even if you succeed at sticking your finger through the hole, there’s no possible way that you can hold the mug without scalding your knuckles. If there is any couple in America I would expect to willingly inflict such suffering upon themselves on a daily basis, it’s the Lockhorns.” –seismic-2

“I think we need a plugger to translate. Somewhere in Iowa this was immediately clipped and stuck on the refrigerator next to a 20-year-old Ziggy with an approving nod and a muttered ‘Oh, that is so true.’” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“Now that the Ketchams no longer are getting that A&W money, they can cast as many aspersions as they wish. ‘An’ that stuff’ll rot your teeth, Joey. Also too, Europeans won’t think you are cool. Let my mistakes be your guide.’” –Only Here For The Ads

“What’s really menacing is that Dennis’s parents seemed to have filled up the already-sad kiddie pool to like 1/8 capacity.” –jeltranksss

Greta’s eyes are saying ‘SAUL … I looked everywhere but I can’t find her yellow bow tie with black polka dots … SHE’S NOT ONE OF US, MAN!’” –DevOpsDad

“Andy is looking at Mark as if to say ‘I didn’t run all the way back here past fucking bears so you could stop halfway through my brushing.’” –nescio

“Sure, after #MeToo the casting couch is out, but I’m not sure stroking Les’s ego is less degrading.” –Ettorre

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