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“I think it’s great how Hagar is getting a piggy-back ride up that ladder — and how jazzed that guy is to give him a piggy-back ride. That kind of loyalty and devotion really shows what great jarl Hagar’s been for his warband.” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter


“Yeah, nothing like dried-out, 5,600-year-old linen on the ol’ butthole.” –Pozzo

“So many people overlook the simple cost-cutting benefits you get from having your home overrun by nightmarish monsters. Why buy paper towels when the werewolf in your kitchen is covered with fur and dries off in minutes? Why waste money on a two-hole punch when you’ve got a vampire in your home office? Why spend hundreds on air conditioning when the spine-chilling appearance of a vengeful ghost is just one closing-of-an-ajar-bathroom-mirror-cabinet away?” –jroggs

“Imagine being completely unfamiliar with the strip, and you saw it for the first time today. You’d have questions: Is the mummy the dogs’ owner? Is it Mother Goose? Why does the yellow dog hate his mother/owner/roommate so much? Why can you see the wall through the gaps in the bandages? I mean, even with context this is like a fever dream.” –made of wince

“To paraphrase Freud, ‘Sometimes the large, long barrel of a tank gun drawn at thigh level is just a long barrel of a tank gun drawn at thigh level.’ And ‘Sarge’s bedroom eye is just … I take it back. It’s a penis. The barrel of the gun is a huge phallic image. The whole thing is an overly homoerotic fantasy. There, I said it.’” –Joe Momma

“I, for one, am here for Mark Trail as a man out of time who speaks mainly in tortured retro slang. ‘If the snake is blue, twenty-three skiddoo! If there’s a cobra on your patio, beat feet, daddy-o! If the rattling gets louder, you’d better take a powder!’” –Doctor Moreau

“Oh, you’re using your made-up names. I’m Funky Winkerbean, then.” –Chyron HR

“Really loving the generic NEWS paper that just seems to have pictures and text placed haphazardly across the front page. I guess the publisher realized that their core audience is most used to reading the obituaries section and decided to use that same format for the rest of the paper.” –pugfuggly

“Ha ha, pluggers still read newsprint. That’s the intended joke, right?” –Just John

“Her phone is broken! Then we need to get over to the detention facility ASAP! Without access to AT&T’s nation-wide 5G network — which even works at Guantanamo Bay! — she’ll be bored out of her mind for the next twenty to thirty years! Without access to the Google App Store, she’ll never be able to download Angry Birds and Netflix, to while away the eternal hours before release or death! [Today’s Funky Winkerbean was sponsored by AT&T, the nationwide network, Google, which knows what you’re going to ask, and the year 2020.]” –Voshkod

“Pluggers talk like a Prohibition-era showgirl for some reason.” –TheDiva

“One of these days Pluggers is going to do some sort of comic where the punchline is going to be ‘a plugger’s Discord server runs usenet and IRC’ or ‘a plugger doesn’t need a massive-multiplayer online game as long as they can still telnet to their Mud’ and then I’m going to be very sad.” –vince

“Otis is asking his Dad for help because no-one has burned a CD since well before he was born.” –Rosstifer

“I picture the writer holding a tech dictionary from 2002 that his daughter got for him last year for a quarter at the library book sale, leafing through it and musing, ‘I need a verb here … that looks like one … okay, now for some nouns…’” –Tom T.

“Another person plugger in the tontine must’ve died. The last one still living gets that phone book.” –Joe Blevins

“Obviously Amy divorced him because he’s a real lightweight.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Ah! If I had a dollar for every time I casually reached for the decanter of wine as my wife made a demand and pounded her fist on the table, I’d have… well, I’d be divorced, actually. ” –Skeptical1

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