This week’s top comment won’t get a major award at a banquet, but it’s still worthy of praise!
“Naturally there’s a whole back room set up, complete with dartboard, ritualistically presented darts, and drunken Frenchman, when the modiste could simply pick a color or step away for a moment to pretend she’s consulting a designer. This really encapsulates what Crock is all about. It doesn’t matter how pointless and counterintuitive a scenario is; if it’s in the service of an unfunny half-joke that doesn’t really land anyway, Crock is always prepared to put in the work.” –Violet
As are the very funny runners up!
“I like how the artist implies the dartboard was fashioned in a slapdash way to hide the fact that the artist had trouble drawing a dartboard.” –taig
“Mary to Toby: ‘Wait till you see the guy who just moved into Sual’s old place. What an Ass!’ ‘He’s a jerk?’ ‘No’” –Hibbleton
“I believe the joke is, riding the horse will make his butt sore, and ordinarily one would treat the soreness with liniment. So ‘preventive medicine’ is putting liniment on the saddle first. ‘Yeah! Something like that!’ is the appropriate response to this joke.” –Peanut Gallery
“Wrong, Dennis! After years of dealing with you, your mom has had an aneurysm and will be dead in minutes!” –Tmdess
“So did Mrs Nelson actually change her appearance (don’t answer, I don’t care), or is Curtis so stupid that he couldn’t parse what was going on with that sheet in from of her face? ‘Hey, we got a new teacher and her face is made of paper! Ha, don’t go out in the rain, Mrs Paperface, cuz you — OH NO IT’S MRS NELSON!’” –pugfuggly
“Maybe Curtis should be more concerned that Chutney has desecrated Charlie Chaplin’s grave and stolen his hat.” –Garrison Skunk
“What a wacky scenario for such a simple question, and Slylock’s answer is still wrong; up is a direction and does not point south from the North Pole. The correct answer is that Weirdly was speaking of the metaphorical south, by which he means he’s sending the foolish foxman to hell, courtesy of a fatal mauling by his diminutive purple lover. The aliens are just helping dispose of the corpse.” –jroggs
“Today’s Blondie is like one of those Platonic dialogues where one character’s lines are all ‘yes, Socrates,’ ‘to be sure, Socrates,’ ‘certainly, Socrates,’ if Socrates were an idiot.” –matt w
“If you lose your eyes to the eldritch powers and simply stand in the middle of a field listlessly as your mind falls into forever … you might be a plugger.” –ectojazzmage
“Hillend? Seriously? That’s a hobbit name, Kentish Hillend of the Brandybuck Hillends. Check his feet, Mary. He may be huge, but if they’re hairy, you’ve got a halfling on growth hormones to worry about.” –Voshkod
“Listen, Mister Redhead, do you know what comic strip you’re in? You are in Mary fucking Worth, and that means your tiresome and vaguely misogynistic turn-downs of help can go scratch. She will meddle and you will not stop her from meddling and that is, simply, that. Look at that sack of human heads / protein powder / old copies of Men’s Adventure Magazine, how it is LEAPING from that box in order to facilitate Mary’s meddling. That sack knows what time it is. Shut up and sit down, Mister Redhead. You’re about to learn that ladies can carry boxes whether you want to or not (spoiler alert: you don’t).” –els
“Why, though, Marvin’s dad? Is it the brown splotches on the dress that remind you of the daily hell your son subjects you to?” –Tabby Lavalamp
“In the Blondie offices, as in most modern comics centers, gags are written down on 5×7 index cards (pink for in-house jokes, white for those generated by ‘humor consultants’), which are then shuffled and sorted by large automated conveyor belts driven primarily by steam. Occasionally a card will slip behind a machine and only discovered years later when the line is shut down for routine maintenance and the application of salami oil, and so we get a woefully dated premise such as we see today. This is just the way it is, no one can convince me otherwise.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“The bag? I keep my free Duluth Trading Company underwear in this bag and just wash it in a river once a month. It’s tough! And the smell! Woodsy!” –Little Blue Bicycle
“Is it because the burgers are so good? No, you schmuck! They need someone in the local business community to offset the cost of their jerseys. Hockey isn’t cheap, man!” –Old School Allie Cat
“The joke, such as it was, was complete at ‘my burgers look like hockey pucks.‘ Why does Dagwood say anything? Do the writers forget that Lou isn’t real, so they don’t have to worry about hurting his feelings” –Rube
“Say what you like about Loon, but he’s the only character in Shoe still managing to wring some kind of joy or excitement out of life. Even preteen Skylar has checked out, haunted by the constant screams from the master bathroom, but Loon keeps pushing on.” –Navigator
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