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As we move deeper into December, zip up your winter jacket (or, if you live in Southern California like me, get into the cardigan section of your closet) and warm up with this comment of the week:

“Careful, anonymous voice — you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry! In fact, you probably wouldn’t like him much now.” –Pozzo

And your very funny runners up will also make you feel toasty inside!

“Hey, is Mary Worth about to introduce a fourth new character in a single month? If the story keeps moving at breakneck speed like this, I think by the time the new year rolls around something might actually happen!” –BigTed

“For those of you who don’t understand the concept of hate-reading, feast your eyes on today’s comic. Lyle Ollman has been conjured by the universe and delivered directly to Rex just to help him cope with his mild irritation about Rene’s recent success. Never before in the history of literature has so unlikely a deus ex machina been employed to resolve so minor a nuisance. Where are you going to find something this wonderful in good writing?” –jroggs

“C’mon, Keith is obviously not the Hulk! He’s the Thing. Look how orange he is!” –matt w

“Pluggers put up natural Christmas trees as an excuse to stay zonked out on Benadryl during the holidays.” –nescio

“Suddenly, improbably, Rex discovers there’s something he actually cares about. And it certainly isn’t medicine. Plagiarism? REX SMASH!’” –Peanut Gallery

“Ah, ‘Fight the System,’ the famous song by Public Adversary.” –Anonymous

“In a strip where I’m used to seeing the characters being absolute assholes to each other, it’s nice to see some gentler assholery like, ‘I put your image on Facebook without your consent.’” –taig

“‘Ollman Technique’: Vague, stuffy, sounds kind of like something they’d do to you in A Clockwork Orange. ‘Mirakle Method’: Memorable, good use of alliteration and wordplay, a name that practically screams ‘fast, easy self-help system.’ It doesn’t take a branding expert to see where Mr. Ollman went wrong here.” –TheDiva

“As of today, Tom Armstrong has produced 24 consecutive Marvin strips without a poop joke. I don’t know if he’s trying to turn over a new leaf, or setting us up for ‘the twelve diapers of Christmas,’ but I have to admit he’s got me on the edge of my (toilet) seat.” –Hannibal’s Lectern

“Whether Frank Jr. is born or made, in any case the Frankenstein parents put a lot more resources into having him than most of us organic folks ever will. Finding a new head/replacement brain is also difficult enough without pitchfork wielding townsfolk already suspicious of them for every grave robbery.” –Philip

“Why is every character in Snuffy Smith the oldest person you’ve ever seen, including the children?” –Finn

“St. Nicholas was of Greek descent, born in what is modern day Turkey. Through the centuries, characters based on him got mixed and matched and localized and so frankly any depiction of Santa Clause is fine (I think you need to hear this most of all, Megyn Kelly). That doesn’t make him exclaiming, ‘Oh, my garsh!’ any less jarring. I wasn’t ready for the Goofyfication.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The maritime authorities may wink at attempted murder on the high seas, but the American justice system has no mercy for copyright infringers. What does this have to do with Rex? He’ll be the physician who administers the lethal injection.” –FE

“I love this insight into Rex’s bedside manner. How many patients per day do you think he corners in an examination room and subjects to aggressive questioning on topics completely unrelated to their medical problem? I think he prefers doing it to the old and confused ones, since they’re more likely to be dismissed as cranks when they complain to the state board of physicians.” –Thelonious_Nick

“Comics are a creative medium where the only boundary is the fantasy of the writer and the ability of the artist. They can show the most fantastic and absurd things! For example, today Marvin shows people laughing due to events in Marvin.” –Ettorre

“The less time I spend thinking about the output/throughput of Shoe, the better off I am. But what’s the input here? Why does it match the Perfesser’s sweater? What are they drinking, fermented puceberry juice?” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I absolutely love how after making Sonia and Brad out to be ACAB mega-Marxist anarcho-communists, the only concrete ideology they have so far is ‘kind of environmentalist, probably not big fans of whale hunting.’ Come on Keith, you live in coastal California. Even in the absolute reddest county, you should know plenty of vegans (admittedly most of them will be doing it because of an insane detox they saw on TikTok rather to save the planet per se).” –Schroduck

“Hmm, looks like the chatbot that writes this strip now is trying to plant some pro-AI material to influence hip youth like Chip. Unfortunately, this just demonstrates its limitations: it hasn’t figured what demographic actually reads this strip and, like a lot of AI, still has a problem doing hands.” –pugfuggly

“We can do this all week — when George gets a colonoscopy (‘Did you find Dennis up there?’), goes to hospice (‘Will I see Dennis in hell?’). Mr. Wilson is obsessed with his neighbor’s child and this legacy comic is here to make damn sure you find it as amusing as they do.” –Quiggle

“I’m not joking, doctor. [turns around to reveal Dennis clinging to his back, feasting on his blood like a leech]” –ectojazzmage

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