Daddy-daughter Thursday
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Mary Worth, 4/3/25
The thing about Belle is that frankly nobody is operating on her level, at least not yet, and that makes her extremely dangerous. Look at the asymmetry in thought balloons in that second panel. Dawn is calling her a “phony nut,” which, c’mon Dawn, which is it? Is she a real nut or is she pretending to be a nut? Not very cutting. Meanwhile, every synapse erratically firing in Belle’s brain is just “KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL”
Crankshaft, 4/3/25
Ha ha, it’s funny because Pam herself was profoundly warped when she was young, because of her father’s terrible personality!
161 replies to “Daddy-daughter Thursday”
MW: Now, if you’d just gone to the Bum Boat, none of this would have happened.
MW: This is supposed to be a “realistic” slice of life, isn’t it?
Belle is so over-the-top ridiculous in her evil. That I can’t take her seriously, not as a psychotic character, not even as a Karen.
MW: I think I’ve figured this out. Belle is a manifestation of every Mary Worth “reader.” She’s been brought into the strip to do what everyone wants to do: kill the Westons.
FC-Alright, ‘9 Chickweed Lane’, the ball is in your court. Top this.
MW-They left out a letter in what Dawn is thinking. The ‘c’ is missing.
@The Rambling Otter: I think Belle’s psychology is very realistic. This is how anyone would behave after the Lovecraftian brain-shattering experience of interacting Wilbur’s penis.
RMMD: why do all the uniformed cops in Mitford look alike? Are we supposed to believe Augie slipped out and secretly injected Stalker with an overdose of Fentanyl? Oh and Augie seems to have forgotten he only looked out the door earlier. He never went outside.
MW: Meanwhile, officials in Florida report that the ‘Orlando Liquidator’ has gone silent.
MW: Seriously, what is up with Dawn? First, she was bounced by the woman who gave birth to her, then she managed to land the most horrible boyfriend in California and all points East. Now, her father’s new squeeze began plotting her demise upon meeting her. Is she emitting some weird prey pheromone?
GT: I’m not much of a sports person. For what sport would you bring shotguns to a baseball diamond?
9CL: Polly was looking for a sap, but even SHE can’t believe this guy.
MW: Well. That escalated quickly.
MW: The weirdest thing is Belle is obsessing over Wilbur. Either Wilbur’s cruise-ship ploy of claiming to be a multi-millionaire is backfiring horribly; or Belle is an alien in disguise and has chosen Wilbur as the perfect host for incubating her eggs. I lean toward the second because of those eyes.
Luann: I just want to know what happens if you fart while riding the “Pulverizer.”
I sincerely, sincerely hope that Belle is, in fact, actually planning on killing Dawn. It’s all I could want from this storyline.
MW: Lady, I know the Westons have all the warmth and appeal of slugs, but that doesn’t mean you can kill Dawn by spilling sodium on her. Wilbur may have survived multiple cruise ship disasters, but Dawn survived one herself. Their DNA is unfortunately made of stronger stuff.
MW: I wonder what Belles’s weapon of choice will be when she offs Dawn. She seems like the violent type. I’ll take icepick in the pool.
FC: Good idea not having any controls whatsoever in the shower. By having it running 24/7 you can throw any one of the filthy munchkins in for a wash down on a moments notice.
MW: Yesterday, Dawn got soy sauce spilled on the left boob. Today, she’s dabbing at the right.
This is what my life has come to. I’m sitting here thinking about Dawn Weston’s chest.
Ha ha, it’s funny because nobody cares about the Crankshaft characters, but Josh feels he has to cover them because he has no life of his own!
Oh, Belle. You have foolishly tipped your hand. If there’s one thing Dawn learned from constantly rewatching “Game of Thrones”, it’s that murder must come without warning, lest the hunter become the prey.
So beware, Belle. You’ll take the mic at karaoke, expecting to hear the opening bars of a Meatloaf song, only to hear “The Rains of Castamere” instead. And Dawn Weston will send her regards.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Luann : if you fart while on that ride, the brief instance of air cussion causes you to be RIGHT at “instantly decapitated by one of the ride’s support beams” height
just like what happens at DisneyWorld Space Mountain. So I hope Brad and Tony ate a lot of fairground chili before riding.************
Crankshaft : I like how the tree cable is drawn as a weird, rod-like coil, almost as if the artist has no idea what a tree cable looks like, googled it, and copied the first image he found.
************
Mary Worth : Belle believes that soy-based products are toxic, and that the mild exposure Dawn got is enough to have poisoned her so that she will die in a couple of hours.
@MKay: Dawn’s friends outside of the main cast consist of a professor who invited her over to her house to do yoga, her pathetic nice-guy ex who’s dating a patient, and her one female friend who mostly exists to yell at her.
These are all the people Dawn’s interacted with who aren’t trying to creepily hit on and/or emotionally abuse her.
She is the uber-prey. The lowest rung on the Charterstone social ladder. Her father has had more successful relationships than her, and his current sweetheart is fantasizing about killing her.
Mary Worth: I feel like we’re all sleeping on the fact that Belle is a giant puppet. Look at the evidence: the head flopping back at an odd angle, the googly eyes, Mary’s hand up her ass…
@BeckoningChasm: [Dark, guttural chortling] Less a Karen than a Mary Sue, then?
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Wilbur himself did that same puppet pose during his first escapade at My Thai, on the 11/4/19 strip. Of course, it looks crazier on Belle because unlike Wilbur, she actually has a neck.
MW: If either Dawn of Wilbur had a funcioning synapse, they would have done 2 minutes of research online and found that Batts Belfrey doesn’t “work” at “MegaCorp.” Rather, Batts is an “escapee” from “Mega Insane Asylum.”
Meanwhile, the rash of dismembered bodies that have been baffling Orlando homicide detectives has mysteriously abated.
Luann: I figured that the current arc would end with Brad and Toni boinking in the ghost train like horny teenagers and conceiving right away to validate tj’s spontaneity plan. Now the Pulverizer’s been introduced, in wondering if they’ve already conceived and are charging into a loss arc
Also Mary Worth: Meanwhile, back at Charterstone, Mary is quietly sharpening her muffin knives. She can feel a meddle worth the doing on the breeze. There will be blood this time, of that she is sure. Soon, she thinks. Soon.
@Lauralot: Seems less like a puppet than spastic contraction of the muscles, but duly noted.
Prediction: Dawn begs off from karaoke due to the soy stain, goes home, finds the picture of her that Batts defaced, shows it to Wilbur when he returns, Belle denies doing it and claims Dawn did it to turn Wilbur against her. Wilbur, not wanting to blow the chance at some sexy time, sides with Batts. Dawn runs to Mary for muffins and platitudes.
They better report her to Asylum Management.
In other news:
Family Circlejerk – That’s the closest I ever want to be to seeing a Melonhead’s wanger. If they’re shooting for p0rnography, couldn’t they show Thel getting out of the shower?
Zits: A shout-out to the Society for American Baseball Research. I love it.
RMMD: Wait, a uniformed patrol officer is immediately conducting a homicide investigation into Augie, right there on the street? That…that’s not how these things work, Beatty.
MW: Dawn schedules a night out at one of the local axe throwing venues that have become so popular.
“Gonna take more than a bowling ball for this one;” she thinks.
Blondie: Alexander mistakenly typed double pineapple getting pizza on his phone? That’s not how ordering online works, which Dagwood should know more than anyone.
H&L: Curly Forelock is going to reinvent the rhythm section by playing…exactly one cymbal stack and one kick drum.
RMMD: “Sure, I wanted him dead. Everybody wanted him dead! Wait, what are you doing with those handcuffs?”
Luann: Perhaps Evans thinks you have to shake the eggs loose.
MW – Oh, Wilbur “Hos before
brosDawn” is a terrible choice here. We need you to keep it up, though. Question – how do you look in orange coveralls?RMMD: With the police fishing for incriminating info, it’s dumb to lead with “yeah, I was outside earlier” and not “I popped out the door but was nowhere near the car”, but people get flustered all the time so instead I’m bugged by the police officer acting like there’s a dead body to explain when we still haven’t seen the EMTs even get into the car. Apparently the procedure to pronounce death in this town is to knock on the window and yell “yoo-hoo!”. No response? Forget checking for overdosing, seizure, coma – ship him to the morgue!
H&L: The pantheon of minimalist drummers:
Moe Tucker (The Velvet Underground)
Slim Jim Phantom (The Stray Cats)
Bobby Gillespie (early Jesus & Mary Chain)
Curly Forelock (Boyz Noyz)
@astroboy: The story made it clear that Belle is an escapee from Mega Insane Asylum. They just used the more common name, “Florida.”
CS: I have lived most of my life in or next to The Forest City, and I have never heard of a tree cable. So I looked it up. Its purpose is to provide structural support to a tree that may be at risk of splitting or breaking due to weak or damaged limbs.
So what Crankshaft has done by installing this tree cable is put his tree at risk of splitting or breaking due to weak or damaged limbs.
It’s become indisputable now that Batiuk is a bigger imbecile than his moronic creation.
The problem is that Dawn is living proof that Belle isn’t the only woman crazy enough to have sex with Wilbur Weston, and that just won’t do so she needs to ramp it up to Joker levels of insanity.
MW: Nice set of canines on Belle. A little late to jump on the Twilight bandwagon, eh Moy?
Blondie – Did Alexander text a dick pic?
Is he experiencing the same regret as the former mayor of Minot?
North Dakota mayor resigns after sending lewd video to city attorney by mistake
Kudos to the Mary Worth character design team (who, I assume, is just the person who pencils the strip). Belle’s pretty-but-offputting look is perfect. The eyes are her victims’ first warning but she even has tiny fangs like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast.
Wait… Belle? Gaston? Has Wilbur been under a curse this entire time? It… would explain a lot.
Some self-confession here: My primary teen-age skill was being able to start a car with a Stanley screwdriver. We lived in the university area and caused headaches for the University police. (We called ourselves the Borrow Gang.) Anyway, they rounded up our gang on a Friday and the following Monday we had to come down to the main cop shop with our parents.
Officer Melman, who talked out of the side of his mouth, started by saying, “The University police are happy to report that no cars were stolen over the weekend.” We looked at one another with the expression of, “Gee, what a coincidence.”
Your comment reminded me of that moment. Thanks.
Belle is probably the greatest character in Wary Morth since Fabiana, so I’m very excited to see just how Moy makes her as boring as Dr Ed the Vet.
Crankshaft learned well from the movie Conan. To raise a strong man, you must inflict pain on a young boy. And thus this poor sapling, weighted down in youth, shall grow into a mighty tree, ready to take on Isengard and bring down Saruman! So, actually, I guess Crankshaft learned well from two movies, Conan and The Two Towers. Honestly, someone needs to curate his VHS collection, maybe slip in some Kubrick or Coppola.
MW: Oh no! Wilbur is going to find Dawn boiling in a pot, isn’t he?
CS: Davis usually phones it in on these strips (honestly, who wouldn’t?), but he really captured Crankshaft’s glee at the torment he’s inflicting on that tree.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I’ll christen my new yacht with champagne”
“Oh, 1939! That’s a very expensive champagne”
“And my yacht is made of very cheap steel!”
C’shaft: I mean to be fair, all those grill explosions and chimney fires have got to take their toll on the local fauna.
MW: It’s official: Belle Batsfrey is my favorite Mary Worth antagonist since Esme the Entertainer. The absurdly indicative name, the absolutely unhinged stare, the barely restrained urge to murder Dawn…the cherry is that all this lunacy is in pursuit of Wibur Weston, which is a clearer sign of insanity than the homicidal tendencies.
MW:
“Now, are you done with that napkin, Dawn? — because it would be a shame not to use all that soy sauce and have it go to waste!”
Luann: Toni is going to find out she has a sensitivity to Brad screaming. That’s really going to put a damper on their sex life.
9CL: It would be wild if Brooke was taking a swipe at the robot-like billionaires we have now. I know the prospect is extremely unlikely, though.
@Guts Dozier: Revenge is a dish best served non-vegan.
Pluggers: Speaking of flying cars…
Don’t stop, Henrietta! Look around, it’s the middle of nowhere! It’s a trap! They’re going to force you to lay eggs!
@White Rabbit y161 re FG: Dragonman, Lizardman, Iguanaman – close enough ;-) And it was a trap, too! I’m feeling a little paranoid these days.
FC: I’m thankful it’s not a shower with April (of Foob fame).
Dustin: Just text, “Hey, I’m an asshole.” She’ll understand.
Bizarro: Zombie Miss Cleo has been reduced to doing in-person readings. No more “Call me now!” when you’re undead.
Dustin: Shenanigans! Dustdad would never a) use emojis or b) care enough about his wife to think about an appropriate response to her texts.
GT: “Yes, Madame Reiner, your class was just wonderful yesterday! They were so eager to demonstrate their language proficiency!….Out of curiosity, what does ‘Casse-toi, peau de zob’ mean?”
JP: Good idea, try to talk her out of going to Norway by giving her a reminder of how economically untenable higher education is in the United States.
Luann: Weirdly, the one standard warning not on there is the very condition Toni is delaying as long as possible with this escapade.
RMMD: Augie’s the type of guy who will give a precise answer to “do you know how fast you were going?”
@Hibbleton:
Luann: Perhaps Evans thinks you have to shake the eggs loose.
No joke – they’ve done research that if you have kidney stones, a ride on a rollercoaster is going to help you pass them. This urologist in Michigan started hearing multiple stories of, “I took the kids to Disney and passed a stone there.” So he built a 3-D replica of a functioning kidney – faux stones, faux urine. Popped it in a backpack, and rode a bunch of rollercoasters. If you’re in the back of a coaster, your chances of that stone passing are 64%.
This is one of those weird but true things I like to share when I am teaching new hire classes and need to kill about five minutes before moving on to the next thing.
MW: Poor Dawn can’t get anything right. The term is “slut,” not “nut.” Sheesh.
Coming tomorrow: As they finish their meals, Belle exclaims, “Mmmmm, these fish heads are delicious!”
RMMD: “That’s close enough for me. Okay, dirtbag, turn around, hands on the hood, and spread ’em. You have the right . . .”
RIP Dawn, you never had a chance. See you in hell Wilbur, you were given far too many.
Reminiscent of the age-old riddle: if a tree falls in the forest, and a crazy lady kills Dawn Weston, do we have to pretend to be sad?
@MKay: If going by The Simpsons, Lisa’s discovery that nerds emit a pheromone called “Poindextrose” that draws bullies to beat them up (whether they want to or not), I would say yes.
@A Grave Mind: I’d feel sad for the tree, if anything.
Esme – looked like Ann Margrock
Belle – looks like Kate Gosselin
Esme- was in full command of her facilities
Belle – is batshit insane
Esme – merely locked Tinkerbell in a port-a-potty
Belle – literally wants to murder people
Esme – lusted for a hot young hunk
Belle – enough said
Advantage Esme.
yGT: Hate on Rachel, but when it’s time for a new season of sports, she just ends the previous season in a summary and move on. What? You liked having basketball season drag into August?
For Better or for Phantom: Um, Heloise, you might have warned Kit that your roommate has unresolved issues that show up on the “Hot/Crazy” chart.
DT: “It’s official! They kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby!”
RxMD: “Uhhhh, I might have looked outside, and my girlfriend and I might have had bad thoughts about the creep who was stalking her…”
Hi and Lois: Oh my GOD please never show these characters in silhouette ever again. They look like some kind of dog people rejected by Disney.
RMMD: shouldn’t the cause of death be established before the cops start a murder investigation? I’m guessing Stalker starved to since stalking doesn’t pay well at all.
@Old School Allie Cat:
No joke – they’ve done research that if you have kidney stones, a ride on a rollercoaster is going to help you pass them.
Rocks in Brad’s head, not so much.
Will this be where Dawn imparts her newfound knowledge of abusive partners to her dense father at which point Mary barges in and the two must battle to the death to be the Advice Queen of Santa Royale?
FC: Confirmed: Billy Keane showers once a month. Or more likely, once a year, in April.
Mary Worth: I’m not sure why yet but this plotline is giving me majorly creepy freudian vibes.
Crankshaft: Crankshaft has begun a new unholy ritual to create a soulless homunculus to serve as his child and servant. Unaware of her true nature and origins, Pam feels only an eerie sense of deja vu and confusion as she unwittingly observes the birth of her brother.
@Cleveland Mocks: re MW: “Mmmmm, these fish heads are delicious!”
GAAAAHHHHH! Don’t DO that! You know Willa is still “missing” – though we got a tip from Ms. Daisy that The Authorities had hidden her in a Koi pond in Santa Royale. We’re workin’ round the clock to try to find her. Do you know how many Koi ponds are in Santa Royale? It’s like… searching for a Goldfish in a Koi pond!
@The Rambling Otter: #2
I think MW ceased to be “realistic” a long time ago and is nothing more than a silly over-the-top parody of soap-opera melodramatics sprinkled with slapstick nonsense. I’m not sure if the transformation began when Karen Moy took over, but I remember the strips before her tenure were actually interesting to follow.
MW: Belle will abandon Dawn in the forest where she will stumble upon a gingerbread house.
@Ken: #10
I just watched the 1984 remake of “The Thing” with my hubby last night and, yeah, I can see Belle absorbing Dawn and Wilbur and spewing them out of her alien abdominal cavity. SPLAK!
CS: Coincidentally, this is also the reason both of Ed’s daughters had scoliosis as children.
FG: I guess Lizardmen who suck at grape picking and wine making get sent back to the caves to become ambushers and bushwhackers.
@astroboy: I think in the Mary Worthiverse, it is called “Enormasylum”.
I’m probably thinking about this way too much, but I have to ask: what’s Belle’s motivation here? She must be gold-digging Wilbur, because that’s the only way this entire story makes any sense. But killing his adult daughter isn’t going to help accomplish that! And there’s no reason for her to travel to do any of this. There’s no shortage of horny rich dummies, potential victims, or incompetent authorities in Florida.
Again, this whole story looks like a bad improv scene. It’s flailing for a direction, and it’s not finding one. Even Dawn should know how to fight back, because she did it in the story that just ended.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: #70
Thank heavens they didn’t put her in the pond next to the big tree with the nest of ospreys…oh, the horror!!!
On another subject, Sid – is the darling little Lizardman infant in “Flash Gordon” one of your child actors? I was actually moved to tears when I saw the poor little thing crying in the tunnel. Seriously, with that much emotional expression, he/she/it *has* to be one of your clients. No one can top you!
Pluggers: This one hits close to home. When my wife and I are out driving and I see a yard sale sign before she does I try to visually distract her. Look, Honey! (While pointing in the opposite direction) An ivory-billed woodpecker! I thought they were extinct!
MW – Is this a commercial for meth? It isn’t just for breakfast anymore!
Crank – As the twig is bent…ah…who gives a shit….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Miss Moy? I love Belle! Can we keep her?
@Drew Funk: Santa Royale Community asylum
@Pozzo: Yeah – like Wilbur has Bum Boat money….
MW: Unfortunately for us (and Belle), the Westons are as unkillable as cockroaches. But the true horror is going to be after she gets hauled off to the funny farm. Dawn will be terrified after the attempt on her life while Wilbur’s ego becomes sky high because a woman was willing to kill for him. Remember that Wilbur’s advice to Dawn over her horrible experience with Dirk was to just forget about anything she doesn’t like?
“It’s okay, Dawnie. Belle might have been a murderous psychopath but she was willing to kill you so that she could have me all to herself. Me, Dawnie, ME!”
“Why did I have to hit on Mother’s boyfriend and then blame her for it?”
MW: But Dawnie, honey-child, dear. Strychnine is completely vegan …I don’t know what could be the problem. I believe god has sickened you for not being true to the vegan faith. You must pray.
@Yesyouaretgedunbfck: Sick burn dude!
@Daisy: Confirmed: Billy Keane showers once a month. Or more likely, once a year, in April.
And that’s solely for the purpose of bringing May flowers. . .
@Professor Well Actually: So she ends up bringing her to Mary’s vacation home.
@But What Do I Know?: #87
Ha! For sure – the dirt washing off of his body and leaching into the soil is excellent fertilizer!
(Darn it…that was mean.)
Billy doesn’t need to shower very often. Thel licks them all clean before bedtime.
@Needless Exposition: the Westons are as unkillable as cockroaches.
You misspelled “unlikable.”
Wrecks Moregone:
Augie’s getting arrested now, right? Before the police even find out Stalker died of a heart attack, right? He’s going to be handcuffed on television, and sacked from his job, shunned by society, and then become a criminal, right? Followed by Netflix making a series on him called “Faking Cad”, right?
Wrong?
Never mind.
@Yesyouaretgedunbfck:
Ooh, I’m sure Josh will cover his head in ashes and dress in sackcloth in penitent after reading that.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
I actually like Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches.
I do not like the Westons.
@Daisy: Oh don’t worry about the Ospreys of Santa Royale – they’re clients of ours. I’m sure they’d show Willa professional courtesy… if they recognize her! I hope she was wearing her eyelashes… What’s worrisome is that Cosmo Fishhawk has been seen wandering around lately.
And no, we don’t handle any of the Hybrids in Flash Gordon. That would be Bob, Agent to the Biological Oddities. I gotta say, he’s on a roll with some fine talent there, though he may learn as we did that juvenile actors are a PIA.
MW-Ah Spring. When a woman’s thoughts turn to murdering the daughter of your vacation fling.
“Wilbur has a fling with a serial killer he met on a cruise” is a real Final Destination coda to him cheating death after falling off cruise ships twice.
MW: This feels like a replay of, and I’m not going to go look up all those names, the crazy lounge singer who tried to kill off some guy’s wife on the cruise ship that Mary and Toby were on, the two crazy women fighting over Dr. Drew, and every other Wilbur storyline. Does Wilbur really need Mary’s help to figure out that Belle is bad news? He has the brain of a soybean, so yes, he does.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I would rather deal with cockroaches than Westons.
I kind of admire Belle’s hustle. Sure, she wants to kill her, but why stop there? Let’s inconvenience her in a million small ways first!
Unless she was hoping the soy sauce was going to give Dawn an allergic reaction or something, I guess? Worth a shot, I suppose!
I think the most ridiculous element about Belle’s plan isn’t so much that she’s willing to kill somebody but that she thinks that Wilbur is worth killing for, especially since Dawn is already such a waste of resources.
Mary Worth has got me thinking of “Shadow of a Doubt” that Hitchcock film, where a teenage girl finds out that her beloved Uncle is a serial killer, he knows she knows, and she knows he knows she knows, and then “accidents” start happening to her around the home and nobody believes her when she says that he’s trying to kill her.
Very good movie.
MW: I dig that Belle is trying to kill Dawn, but what’s with the soy sauce? Is she planning to eat her afterward?
‘shaft: Poor Pam. Look at her, unconsciously imitating the slumped-over posture of the sapling in a misguided attempt to appease her father. “Maybe if I look like the thing he loves, I’ll be the thing he loves.”
@GrafSpee, ythread: Thank you, that worked! Well, it got me into the site; it still doesn’t like my saved password. But apparently I did get the verification code I asked for yesterday … at 5am UK time. It doesn’t work now. So I guess I just stay on the page all night until the new one arrives…
DT: The dumbness of the nephews being the only shred of entertainment in this story, I’m genuinely disappointed we skipped the scene where they arrived home and were elated to discover Piltdown wasn’t dead after all. Or better yet “It’s a g-g-g-ghost!”
JP: If the limit is “one”, Sophie will have to choose between inviting Reena or inviting Glen. If the limit is anything above that, it seems kind of unnecessary.
Phantom: Urgh. Well, okay, there’s a slight chance that “I think it would be sad if this girl drowned” doesn’t mean “I love this girl and want to spend the rest of my life with her,” but I think I have to accept that, from a not-validating-Weezie’s-creepy-breeding-program pespective, Kit may now be a lost cause. It’s all down to you now, Kadia!
SH: In our world this would be a reasonable reaction to learning a script was generated by a large language model. In the Havenverse, Ming is displaying her prejudice againt the actual intelligent computer programs that show up all the time!
@Joe Blevins:
The secret to a good marinade is to start it really early.
The tree is holding a lead pipe, and as soon as it gets tall enough, and Crankshaft comes close enough, the tree will bludgeon him to death. Who says newspaper comics can’t still make you laugh?
@Joe Blevins: “I dig that Belle is trying to kill Dawn, but what’s with the soy sauce? Is she planning to eat her afterward?”
Belle’s plan is to release a sack of soy sauce-loving earwigs into Dawn’s bedroom early next morning.
Curtis: When my wife and I were in our early 20’s, we visited a place called “Cluck You Chicken” in a northern Colorado college town. They had something similar, called “Nuclear Wings” that required a signed waiver saying you wouldn’t sue the place if you ate some and ended up in the hospital. Wife and I had some (and got our pictures on the wall to prove it) — they were spicy, but not particularly tasty.
So, in short — gloves or not — if you don’t have to sign a medical form, those “atomic” wings are probably not that hot.
@Ukulele Ike:
In Soviet Union, soy sauce eats you!
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: #95
“…juvenile actors are a PIA.”
That might be why I don’t recall ever seeing kittens or puppies or fry (i.e., baby fish) in MW…just the adults. makes sense.
@Ukranazi Stepan: #94
I do too – they are fascinating! I will add them to my list of favorite insects along with praying mantids and tarantula hawks.
Oh – that reminds me – my favorite movie about insects is playing – “A Bug’s Life!” Gotta run!
Ziggy-Sounds like Ziggy got gang banged.
CRANKSHAFT: Trying to be calm, I shall lightly mention that one reason I hate CS garden stories more than any other CS stories is because unlike some other CS themes like fire, which clearly show that Crank is a dangerous idiot, the garden stories veer wildly between “Crank is an outdoors dumbass” and “Crank is a genius gardener who grows huge amounts of produce although his garden always looks shitty.” Here we see Crank being a botanical moron. Just stay with that angle from now on, Batiuk, please.
FC – Gaaah!
Mary Worth – Ye gods, she just met Dawnie, and Belle is already planning to kill her. On the one hand, I understand – Dawn is a Weston, after all – but on the other hand, most new love interests would at least pretend to try to make friends with their new squeeze’s child.
This story has great potential, but I’m bracing myself for it fizzling into nothing. I do love Belle’s crazy eyes.
Rex Morgan – I can see where this is going. After Rex performs the autopsy, he’ll investigate to clear Augie from a murder charge.
6Chix – Time to adjust Thursday Chick’s meds.
S4th – This is insightful and good advice. The writer should try doing this with his other comic strip.
Belle, you’re making a mess of this. If you’re planning to go all Agrippina it has to be with someone rich. But Wilbur’s estate is going to be a bunch of cheap souvenirs and a mountain of unpaid bills, and you want Dawn around to inherit those things.
Are you OK, Dawn? Like maybe with a little Sririacha? How do you think you’d taste right now?
@Anonymoose:
Esme did not “try to kill off some guys wife.” She locked her in a bathroom so she could canoodle with her husband. That’s hardly “trying to kill off” someone.
@Daisy: Me three. I worked in a lab long ago that had cages with Madagascar hissing cockroaches, and they were pleasant company.
C-Shaft: What I’m getting from this is that “avid gardener” Ed Crankshaft doesn’t know much about raising plants. Whether Batiuk gets this is anybody’s guess.
MW: This is dire, folks. Alleged businesswoman and suspected bath salts appreciator Belle Batsfrey is confirmed to harbor lethal intent toward Wilbur’s daughter Dawn. Which almost certainly means she plans to console Wilbur by getting him to start over with her, i.e. new family, new babies. NOBODY WANTS THIS!
@Yesyouaretgedunbfck:
You fathead!
@Poteet: I worked in a lab long ago that had cages with Madagascar hissing cockroaches,
Was that at The University of Texas, by any chance?
@pachoo: And yet, is that really true? Wilbur’s mysterious ability to afford Charterstone on the salary of a lowly newspaper columnist has never been explained. He might be able to save his life and/or Dawn’s life by mentioning to Belle, casually, that when he croaks, the generous support checks from his wealthy ex will end.
Belle’s face in panel two is the moment I realized this storyline won’t end without violence. She makes Aldo look like the stalker from Rex Morgan.
@Poteet: I’ve always imagined that Wilbur’s wife pays him an allowance to stay away from her.
@astroboy: Did you get a whiff of that bathroom?
Esme was figuring wifey suiciding within the first ten minutes.
@Poteet: The only answer that I can think of is that Moy doesn’t seem to care about where her characters get their money from as long as they have it. Ian and Toby are essentially living off of only his salary as a college professor with questionable tenure so that he can spend his days around barely legal future wives while Toby guzzles down the box wine and pretends to be an artist.
@The Rambling Otter:
Joseph Cotten was in it, if I recall right.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: #108: Your story reminds me of the Super Fire Hot Buffalo Wings sketch from SNL with Christian Bale.
@Ukulele Ike: #125: Wasn’t that bathroom in Port au Prince too? There were probably several rotting corpses inside.
MW: From now on, any time someone uses a grawlix to call someone a name in this comic, I will read it as “phony nut”.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: #119
re MW: “new family, new babies” – somehow I envision Belle devouring her young like a praying mantis…she doesn’t really give off maternal vibes…
@astroboy: #117
Although I seem to remember a plot turn in that story where Esme tried to toss her romantic rival off the deck of the ship, and then the ship lurched somehow and Esme became the one toppling overboard but somehow she twisted her body completely around so she could grab the railing and desperately cried for Katie to save her. After a moment’s hesitation, Katie did pull Esme up and Esme left the Hoosiers alone. It was a pretty cool scene, actually.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Which, in itself, reminds me of Super Happy Fun Ball ™.
@Daisy: She sounds like the kind of person who dropped off her kids with either her parents, her siblings, or the baby daddy because she “can’t be tied down at her age.”
@Guillermo el chiclero: Cholera corpses. You catch cholera in Haiti, you’re going to be pooping a lot. They’re lucky they made it as far as the outhouse.
@treetown: Oh yes, Joseph Cotten. Such a charmer he was in that flick.
“….The cities are full of women, middle-aged widows, husbands dead, husbands who’ve spent their lives making fortunes, working and working. And then they die and leave their money to their wives, their silly wives. And what do the wives do, these useless women? You see them in the hotels, the best hotels, every day by the thousands, drinking their money, eating their money, losing the money at bridge, playing all day and all night, smelling of money, proud of their jewelry but of nothing else, horrible, faded, fat, greedy women.”
I don’t know how much the screenwriter (Thornton Wilder!) got paid, but I hope it was a lot.
Blondie: Why does Dagwood look gobsmacked? Does he keep forgetting that Alexander is, in fact, his son?
Dustin: Assuming Dustmom is asking for a divorce by text I’d go with the thumbs-up.
GT: So this is just a PowerPoint slideshow Gil threw together for the purpose of renegotiating his salary, right?
JP: Oh, stop it, Abbey. You know damn well that Reena comprises the entirety of Sophie’s friend circle.
Luann: What a time this would be for Bwad and/or Toni to find out about their own chronic flatulence.
MT: Mark’s nemesis is really rocking the Sith look today. Has she changed her name to Kylo Wylo?
Phantom: “Aah, I’ve put my brother in a codependent relationship with a suicidal dunce. My work here is done.”
RMMD: Augie is equally deficient in the “talking to cops” and “shutting up around cops” areas. Luckily for him the guy in the dark blue uniform is really just Rex Morgan, who wanted to prove he has a sense of humor but couldn’t think of anything until a couple of days after April Fools’.
@Daisy: Probably, unless they’re like the babies Estelle imagined and can already punch.
@Daisy: Thanks, Daisy! I was beginning to worry that I was making up Mary Worth plots.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: #138
Oh ye gods – the boxing Wilbur babies…that was truly a nightmare. Maybe Belle and Wilbur’s (please, Lord, let them be *imaginary*) offspring will be bald and pudgy and flit around on tiny bat wings…
@Anonymoose: #139
You know something – I bet you’d do a darned good job writing that strip!
@Ukulele Ike: #136
Wow! What a line! I’ll have to watch that movie. I love the classics!
@Needless Exposition: #134
Which, if that did indeed happen, was the best possible outcome for those kids. Imagine being reared by a woman like that.
@Daisy: ….The “Merry Widow” Murderer.
Go for it. Great cast as well as a great script. And it was Hitchcock’s personal favorite of all his films.
“soon I’ll lower dawn into my acid put and then Wilbur will be all mine muhahaha”
@Daisy: LOL. I bet you could as well!
Crankshaft: Now I have to look up what a tree cable is, and I’m not happy.
@Lee S.: Having to do research when you read Crankshaft is kind of a bummer.
@Lee S.: Tell the rest of us what it is, will ya? I refuse to look it up myself.
I have a tree with a cable, actually two. The trunk has two massive forks, one cable goes through the joint, another goes between the forks several feet up. Normally it’s loose, but after an ice storm, or heavy snow, it’s straight as a…T-square? Anyway, I’m sure the tree would have split long ago without the cables.
@Voshkod: Kubrick? Like the bus scene from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest?
@astroboy: You could add Billy Conway, especially during his Treat Her Right days.
@White Rabbit: So, a Band-Aid* for a broken tree?
*Band-Aid brand bandages, a copyrighted product of Johnson & Johnson, Inc.
@White Rabbit: When I checked, the official advice was “Tree cabling should only be performed by trained and certified arborists to ensure proper installation and effectiveness.” Unofficially, I suppose the advice could be “Do tree cabling only if you really know what you are doing and if you are not Ed Crankshaft.”
MW: Having quickly reread the last several days of MW, which I do not recommend, I would request that the colorists be just a leetle more careful with Belle’s hair. If I have to look at horrible hair day after day, I want it to be really consistent horrible hair, so I don’t end up staring at it trying to figure out what the little differences are. Thank you.
Either:
Wilbur kicks Dawn to the curb once he finds out that Belle hates her.
Or
He defends Dawn and kicks Belle to the curb in an attempt to make him look like a heroic good father.
Either way this won’t end well for us readers.
@Poteet: I don’t know what it is about Belle’s hair that I hate.
I mean, back in the olden days of Archie, Ethel had outright atrocious hair, but I never minded because the comics were actually enjoyable.
As the image shows, over time she became progressively prettier.
(Which defeats the point of the character, as her character’s point was that it’s okay to be unattractive and you can still be normal regardless. Seeing as nearly every female character in those comics was practically a supermodel this was a very important message to have)
@The Rambling Otter: Actually, thinking it over.
I am starting to think that to solve the whole love triangle issue, Archie should have picked a
3rd... 4th option and gone with Ethel.As there was a comic, where Ethel and Archie went on a date, and Archie to his own surprise really enjoyed his time with her, because Ethel was calm, patient, and never demanded anything from him.
If he had picked her, it would teach the lesson that you don’t need good looks to get your happy ending.
@The Rambling Otter:
I remember that one. As for looks, by now Ethel has been toned down to the point that, while still tall and scrawny, she’s actually very pleasant looking.
Can we move Belle to Crankshaft? After her murders in Mary Worth, I mean. In fact this would be an awesome running series/gag – Belle moves to a different comic strip every few weeks, killing off the most disliked characters. It would be like the Marvel character “Scourge” from back in the day. If there’s any old comic fans of obscure characters out there.
@The Rambling Otter: Oh, those images bring back memories. Thank you. I fondly associate ARCHIE with fifty years ago and staying with a friend in a little old lakeside summer cottage. The furniture was worn and comfy and the available reading material was almost all ARCHIE comic books and Agatha Christie paperbacks. It was lovely.
Anyway, back to the topic. Ethel’s hair looks like Ethel just grabbed it and put it into a red fastener because that was easy to do and Ethel had more fun ways to spend her time. Yay for carefree Ethel. Belle’s hair looks like she spent a lot of money and time with some poor stylist who is likely dead now, stabbed with her own scissors because Belle didn’t enjoy her last visit. Belle’s hair is very calculated and Belle is very calculating. Spontaneous my hiney. Wilbur is a gullible idiot.