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Hi and Lois, 9/27/26

My first impression reading this was that Hi seems so youthful in the first panel in the second row that he must be imagining himself as a Little Leaguer; but the mustache on the outfielder means that’s not right, and I realized that, of course, he’s imagining himself as a Major League Baseball player, and MLB players are on average men in their mid to late 20s, younger than Hi and certainly much younger than me, but not children by any means. It’s a lot to think about! And I honestly would prefer to think about this, to muse melancholy on middle age, and not think at all about the throwaway panel that includes what I guess is supposed to be Hi dozing off thinking happy thoughts but it looks like a portrait of JFK zooted out of his mind on all the off-label drugs they were giving him for his back pain plus whatever sex pills he was taking. I have to admit, not thinking about that is getting more and more difficult.

Family Circus, 9/27/26

We criticize Marvin a lot for all the piss and shit jokes it does, but honestly its worst sin is just to be so in your face about it. Like, here’s a Family Circus about a carpet remembering all the good times it’s had with the Keane Kids over the years as it’s being driven to the landfill, and only one of the seven little vignettes it’s visualizing involves being peed on. That’s how you elicit a healthy chuckle from the piss joke appreciating community while still getting grandparents to faithfully cut your comic and hang it on the fridge.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/27/26

You ever notice that we never see Leroy’s mother? I feel like Loretta gets mad at moments like this not just for the obvious reasons, but because Leroy’s mother’s presumably early death — or perhaps her decision to go no-contact with her son for reasons we could easily guess at — have denied Loretta ammunition in the constant marital battle that is the focus of her every waking thought.

Crankshaft, 9/27/26

Hey, I don’t want to overstep here, but … do you ever get the feeling that, just maybe, everyone involved in the creation of the Funkyverse strips has a terrible inability to feel pleasure, like in a pathological way? Just putting that out there.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/22/26

OK, fine, just a day after my haughty pronouncement that I was too good for a storyline about “Horrible” Hank Harwood Senior doing some commissions, Rex Morgan, M.D., proves that it’s “still got it” and sucks me back in with a philosophical conundrum. Yes, it is true that not performing labor is enjoyable. But have you considered that labor can be exchanged for money, which serves as a store of value and can be exchanged in turn for other goods and services, many of which also spark enjoyment? Much to consider! Plus you don’t want Buck getting on your case! Ideally you’d like to spend as little time interacting with Buck as possible!

Crankshaft, 9/22/26

Now, call me a bleeding heart, but I don’t think making sidewalks less accessible represents a good use of the limited money available for streetscape improvements. I can sort of see the logic of doing it in Crankshaft’s neighborhood specifically — he’s dangerous and must be contained but he’s also old — but we’ve seen no indication that he really has much by way of mobility issues and anyway they keep letting him drive against all common sense, so you’re just making things more difficult for the disabled and anyone pushing a stroller or shopping cart for no benefit. Also they are making lovably evil pizza robot Oni Crankshaft’s sidekick or whatever, troubling!

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Beetle Bailey, 9/12/26

“Yeah, man, I know, I was sitting right here when you ordered it 10 minutes ago. I’m past it now.”

Family Circus, 9/12/26

Look, Dolly, we know that like 75% of your whole deal is that you’re a snitch, but filling your little brother’s head with anti-clerical attitudes is taking it too far. Too far!

Crankshaft, 9/12/26

“Except for the person whose house was on fire. I think they died!”