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Archive: Crankshaft

143

Maybe he’s there on a court order

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Dennis the Menace, 4/16/26

OK, since I complained about yesterday’s “exciting” tax panel from Pluggers, I have to praise this one. You know what’s exciting? When you’ve been up for three days straight trying to do your taxes and you’ve missed the deadline by several hours but you can’t stop because you’ll lose your momentum. “Please, let him rest!” begs Dennis. “He does so much for us!” It’s not very menacing of him but I’ll allow it.

Blondie, 4/16/26

I really like Dagwood’s facial expression in the second panel. It’s like he’s thinking “Oh, am I being cruised? Is this the cruising section of the park? Not really my thing but I guess you should try everything once.” By the time we get to panel three he’s disappointed that he misread the situation.

Heathcliff, 4/16/26

“Heathcliff sees a therapist” is an occasional bit in this strip, and I don’t care for it because I really don’t think it’s a match for his character. Heathcliff may have any number of real psychological issues, but I think he’s pretty happy with himself and lacks the desire to change that usually drives people to therapy. Anyway, despite what the therapist says, I appreciate the fact that today makes it clear he doesn’t take the process very seriously.

Crankshaft, 4/16/26

OH WE’RE ALLOWED TO START THINKING ABOUT A SCENARIO WHERE CRANKSHAFT SUFFERS A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK NOW? LIKE, CANONICALLY, IN THE WORLD OF THE STRIP, THAT’S SOMETHING THAT’S ON THE TABLE? GOOD TO KNOW, GOOD TO KNOW

153

More like Marty Sun (because of how brightly colored his outfit is)

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Gil Thorp, 4/13/26

Look, in general I’ve been in favor of Marty Moon’s sartorial evolution, but I think that maybe, with this white suit and flowered shirt with matching pocket square, he’s gone a bit too far in the dapper direction. It is, frankly, not really his vibe, and when the country club on whose grounds he is 100% not authorized to be present gets wind of him and the makeshift studio he’s broadcasting from, he’ll have to flee on short notice, and in the very likely scenario where he trips and falls in the process, the grass stains will never come out of that jacket.

The Lockhorns, 4/13/26

I stand by my earlier complaint about strips where we start in mid conversation but one character is just repeating back to the other one material covered previously in the conversation, but honestly, given that The Lockhorns is a one-panel strip about a married couple locked in a continuous argument that will never end until the universe achieves its final heat death, it’s kind of impressive that they don’t do it very often.

Crankshaft, 4/13/26

Holy cow, doing a Santa-related pun … in April? Christmas was months ago, do people even remember what Santa’s whole deal is? Better put in a panel depicting him doing his trademark laugh, just in case.

Alice, 4/13/26

Oh, man, social media … you guys heard about this? You heard about how addictive it can be? Alice has just gotten into social media, and it is not going well.

145

No AI is perverse enough to take on Mary Worth, I’m safe

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Rhymes With Orange, 4/9/26

I assume the intended joke here is that George forgot his glasses somewhere else — at his home, maybe, or maybe just in the other room — but I can’t stop imagining a truly nightmarish scenario where when you die you become a spirit cursed to haunt the world of the living but not be perceived by them, and if you had bad vision when you were alive you still do, but you can’t wear glasses because you’re a spectre without physical form and/or you don’t have a nose. Anyway, that ghost is gonna fuck that cabinet, right? That’s definitely what’s on the menu here?

Archie, 4/9/26

Jughead, sad that his conversations with his best friend aren’t as sparkling as they once were, has hired this high-tech young woman to, in his words, “Cyrano” for him, monitoring Archie’s mood on a tablet and relaying instructions into a hidden bluetooth earpiece. Unfortunately, it turns out she may have overrepresented her talents.

Hi and Lois, 4/9/26

Don’t have much to say about the Flagston twins’ specific conundrum here but I do like the expression on the bus driver’s face. That’s someone who’s extremely sick of these kids’ shit. Not sure if it’s about Dot and Ditto specifically or just children in general, but either way I’m enjoying it.

Crankshaft and Shoe, 4/9/26

Hey, uh. Um. How to put this delicately. I think if you’re involved in the process of churning out a legacy comic strip, maybe you … shouldn’t … do jokes that are like, “You know what’s better than a hack writer? AI! Ha ha!” Just, like … don’t give people ideas, you know? About your job?