Carpe diem comics
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Shoe, 5/23/25
This strip would be — well, not funny, exactly, but it would at least make some sort of sense if the Perfesser was married, which to the best of my knowledge (derived from a literal lifetime of reading the syndicated newspaper comic strip Shoe, oh my god I’ve wasted my life) he … isn’t? Unless his wife is unseen and unmentioned, and living in some room in his home that nobody goes into, which would make that already depressing house way way more depressing.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/23/25
TIRED: In the absence of defense attorneys, the government’s police power will range unchecked, with the regime being able to put disfavored individuals into prison on a whim
WIRED: “I would prefer not to go to jail” is an impulse for which a rational market exists, and if market participants are willing to expend resources to fulfill that desire, even in the absence of defense attorneys, someone will step up to provide a counterparty
Archie, 5/23/25
I love how shocked and indignant Pops looks in the third panel here. How can you young people just let your days slip away from you like this, without drinking in every minute of your wild and precious teenagerhood? You’ve got to live, kids, live!
110 replies to “Carpe diem comics”
Mary Worth Mashups: Which of the four attached mashups do you like best?
Family Circus: You can practically hear Daddy Keene going “boi-oi-oi-oing.”
Shoe: I think the joke is “Don’tcha hate it when you want to have sex with a woman, but she’s a human being who has a family of her own who you have to be friends with if you want the sex to continue?!”, but I agree that it would be much funnier if the Perfesser just goes around asking people “Why aren’t I cheating on my wife right now???”
“I sure hope ya ain’t gougin’ folks for yore lawyerin’ services, Google!” I had Snuffy Smith dead last on my list of “Which strip will be the first to address the issue of Big Tech passing off LLMs as ersatz attorneys, but life is full of surprises.
attorneys?”,
I dunno. Archie and co have been teenagers for roughly forever and a half. Hard to blame them, really, for treating every day as a blur, just one more rotation on the endless and endlessly boring hamster wheel of their existence.
ARCHIE: Pops is thinking, “DRUGS!!” when he really should know by now that Jughead is just an idiot.
MW: Willa has been secretly studying Krav Maga. “Bring it, you spiky-headed fruitcake!”
RMMD: “I was so nervous on our wedding day; I was afraid there wouldn’t be cake.”
9 Chickweed Lane : there was a joke about how “conviction” can mean “deeply held belief” and “being imprisoned for a crime”, and how most people who profess to hold the former would never risk the latter over them…
But no, let’s have “the people who disagree with me call me an idiot and refuse to listen to my argument, unjustly might I add” from a guy who CONSTANTLY calls the people he acts contrarian to “beefwits”.
************
Archie : “We went to Veronica’s house and someone had painted a satanist symbol in permanent paint on the door. C’mon, Jug, it JUST happened, surely you remember?
************
Crankshaft : …Loathsome Lillian is 105?
…Batiuk knows he could have cheated and done a “sliding timeline” thing by just not showing the years on the tombstone, right?
************
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith : Barney is actually bribing Tait and the Judge so they throw the book at Snuffy, so he gets more work representing him.
Glancing at the strip casually and seeing the phrase “lawyerin’ services Google” out of context, I suddenly had a flash-forward and realized that Hootin’ Holler was our future, the product of our current moment and the culmination of democracy’s collapse, the fetishization of idiocy, and the domination of AI. So I’m now ditching my 401(k) and putting all my savings in chickens.
“In spring, a young man’s heart turns to love.”
– CS: too late.
– LUANN: too soon.
– FBoFW: too awkward.
Blondie – Of course Dagwood trusts Ted! Ted has that same neck wattle as Dagwood, which I suspect, increases the amount of food their species can swallow at once. It’s those slow eating boys, more prone to lust than gluttony, that you can’t trust with your daughter.
Mary Worth: Looks like Belle will be providing the lox.
BGSS: Three more jars, and the judge can finally afford enough gas to get out of Hootin Holler.
@Baja Gaijin:
Baja, all your mashups are great, but here’s the one missing (minus art)
“Wilbie, guess what I made for our breakfast bagels?”
RMMD-Rex had never gotten married to a woman before.
MW-Bagels? Seems kind of ethnic. Is that Mary Worth approved?
FC-Just watch out for Mr. Gallagher and his Sledge-O-Matic.
Shoe – Ah – the cutting edge of contemporary humor – Gen Z is upvoting their asses off….
BG&SS – So…that’s why Hootin’ Hollar is known as the Graftin’burg spot….
Archie – And thus were born both a Marvin Gaye song and a Shirley Hemphill sit-com….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Shoe: I don
Shoe: I don’t care about the Perfesser’s love life, I just want to know why he’s printed the entire contents of the Library of Alexandria when his laptop is RIGHT THERE.
@Anonymous: Batiuk knows he could have cheated and done a “sliding timeline” thing by just not showing the years on the tombstone, right?
No no no no nooooooooooooo. The Funkyverse is “the only comic strip where characters age realistically.” Except when Batiuk forgets, and he has Crankshaft reminiscing about watching Rocky Colavito as a kid, even though Colavito is 15 years younger than Crankshaft. The main characters in this strip, Ed and Lillian, are about 105. Pam and Jeff, having been at Kent State during the shooting incident, are about 75. The soon-to-be-married Pete and Mindy are about 50.
BG&SS: So evidently black & blue is the Hootin’ Holler Grifters’ color scheme. Better ditch that red tie, Google, if you want to join the gang.
MW: Dr. Jeff suddenly looked up from his paper, listening. There had been a ripple in the Worthiverse. He had felt it. Images of knives, water, and—gold fins??—swept over him. Another funeral was in the offing, he was certain of it!
“Guess I should get the engines going, to give them time to warm up,” he said aloud, doffing his captain’s hat as he headed for the door.
I love how fast the sheriff drops his phony hick act when it comes to money. Oh, he’ll say “shore” and “ain’t” and “fer yore” along with the other townsfolk, but at the realization of just how steadily he’s literally nickel-and-diming the impoverished locals by bending the law to let let crooks go free and innocent people linger in the ancient one-room jail, he gets all excited and the phrase “negative effect on our supplemental income stream” comes rattling out of his mouth faster than you can say “civil forfeiture.”
MW: I think that the one thing that I’m remaining unconvinced of is Belle’s actual need to kill Willa. She doesn’t really need to do this, and on top of it, it risks really giving her up as a psychopath.
In summary, it looks as though Belle, not just crazy, also stupid.
@MKay: Willa stars in “Fins of Fury”?
Archie: And as Pop looked away, the wall tiles took the opportunity to grow their numbers again. Two more rows!
Soon … soon they would devour all the walls in the restaurant. Then, from there, all the surfaces in Riverdale! No matter where you looked, there would be nothing but a glorious white background.
They had taken over 9 Chickweed Lane this way. But the tiles…they hungered for more.
@Baja Gaijin:
BAKA YOU’RE BACK!
MW: The ending originally proposed for Fatal Attraction had Glenn Close committing suicide and framing Michael Douglas for murder, fitting the initial conception of her character as more sympathetic. A good idea but poorly executed in my view. My working theory is that Adrian Lyne or studio execs gamed that ending to generate poor results with test audiences, giving them the leverage to use the male-paranoia-horror-movie ending they wanted in the first place. So which is it going to be for Belle? Will we learn that she has a history of being abandoned and she conveniently offs herself on Wilbur’s doorstep? Or will she demonically go after Wilbur with a kitchen knife before Mary shoots her dead?
@Baja Gaijin: FC – seems like the type of joke FC would actually make
Shoe – This would have been equally unfunny then, but if this isn’t a repeat, then this strip feels like an idea from the notebook of creator Jeff MacNelly in the 1980s or 90s when the PC revolution was putting once arcane technology words into everyday parlance. Perhaps in an attempt for this strip to dodge risky current affairs, they are raiding the archives of the MacNelly papers. I look anticipate jokes about the Macarena, Animorphs, MTV, and cloned sheep.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith – While Hootin’ Holler finally got around to fully respecting the Sixth Amendment (but not Gideon vs. Wainwright guarantee of representation for indigent defendants), they are still strongly outside the influence of trust-busting laws. Criminal justice is the most lucrative racket in this impoverished area, and the players in it have an understanding of how the market will run.
Archie – Pop’s attempt to use a milkshake to give the lesson of drinking up every minute of youth only leads Jughead to want to take a nap after drinking six glasses.
BGSS: Barney is clutching his “Bribes” jar like it’s his “Brides” jar.
MW: Surprising no one, Wilbur’s pet parent skills are on par with his human parent skills. This is echoing the time he dumped toddler Dawn out of her stroller so that he could carry his jars of mayonnaise.
DT: OK – it seems the new plotting angle is to lay out a lot of facts – some of which may be real clues!
MW: A necessary delay – ? So is the next morning after the MW talk? If Wilbur is going out of bagels (why not yeast donuts?) so what happened to Dawnie?
RMMD: After the gabfest at the front desk, and now the June and RMMD are snogging, the clinic is now 6 hours behind schedule.
GT: Maybe this is the way Marty Moon gets back into the local sports media game – a sensational scoop “Local High School Coach heads satanic cult at Milford High under the nose of Gil Thorp”
Archie – Pops is falling on hard times. He runs a Soda Shoppe, and prices are so steep, he’s had to downgrade to Cola.
Someone heard about computers having mother boards and, eh, sure. If I had to churn out 365 gags a year I’d probably have given up on them making sense years ago too.
@Baja Gaijin:
Both good. Great to see you again!
@LTJpezcore1: She also doesn’t need to kill Dawn to be with Wilbur. For all her many, many flaws, Dawn gets out of the apartment, goes to classes and took care of herself when Wilbur was on vacation – she’s not a little kid that some sicko would kill to get the parent to have time for a new love. Instead, Belle seems to *desperately* want to be the only person/creature/thing that Wilbur has any companionship with. She wants him absolutely all to herself. Which would be twisted for *anybody*, but seriously, for *Wilbur*?!
@Liam: It’s probably why Wilbur is sneaking out to get them rather than having them delivered. Mary’s only known to allow certain rules for Charterstone like limited smartphone access and forcing everyone to avoid anything that she doesn’t like. But don’t raise a fuss or she’ll say that she’s a nice person because she allows women to wear pants.
“I hope you ain’t gougin’ folks, Google!”
I never thought about the potential for tech-based satire in Snuffy Smith before now and I’ve to to tell you, there isn’t any!
Shoe: Took me a while to realize it’s supposed to be wordplay about “motherboard.” I think Uncle Lumpy’s term for this was working your way backward from the punchline. “Mother-in-law board, heh, heh, that’s great…do I have any characters I can use that with? Shoe? Roz? Skyler? None of them fit. Is the Perfesser married? No? Screw it, he gets it, anyway. Tee time awaits.”
MW: What? I get only one panel today?? Just who do they think is the *Star* around here? Oh well, I’m getting a close up with my new BFF Belle! Here’s my chance to really show my skills! Just look at that expression of curiosity, confusion, and apprehension! And the tension shown by turning my fins inward in a protective gesture – this is how you do Fish-in-peril, people!
I’ll admit it’s hard to keep serious with Belle! I’ve never had so much fun on a gig. I hope she has some more of those special FishFlakes she gets for me. They are sooo good – I told her they must be addictive teeheehee But she said most Fish stop after one box… ? Anyway, I could just eat them til I POP…
@CanuckDownSouth: Well, Belle is established to be insane. Only a woman who is insane or desperate would want to spend longer than five minutes with Wilbur, excluding his daughter who shares DNA or Mary who is most likely the eternal servant of a Lovecraftian god.
BG&SS: Glanced up at the television just now and there was a graphic accompanying a homicide story on the news featuring a commode sitting outside a trailer with long grass growing around it and out of it. Just saying there’s a wealth of rural iconography this strip hasn’t yet touched on.
@Willa G. Fish: You’re settling for fish flakes? Girl, you might have questionable tastes staying with those Weston morons but you don’t have to eat peasant food. Get yourself some brine shrimp; you won’t go back to flakes after that.
But that’s if you can make it past the weekend…
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: I have to say, “Rent-seeking junior walrus conspires with larger, more senior walruses to extract wealth from hapless individuals trapped in an arbitrary system of violence” is quite the perspective. Too close to actual reality, please add 72.5% more whimsy, use Lil’ Sparkplug if needed.
@MKay:
Rex got a creamy cake but what he really wanted was a hair pie.
“Sherriff, Smif just give me five bucks to walk out of jail. Do I put it in the bribe jar, the graft bin, or the corruption cup?”
Snuffy: I don’t live in the States, so maybe I’m out of the loop, but I’m not certain if Josh is making a joke about:
-How impoverished Hooten Holler is, that they don’t have defense attorneys.
-The American Legal System hypothetically collapsing.
-The American Legal System literally collapsing.
Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to this…
Shoe: Remember before forums, before blogs, even before chat rooms, there were internet bulletin boards? The people who write Shoe remember them, not very well mind you, but at one time in the early days of the internet, you could post a not-very-well-thought-out mother-in-law joke on a BB and people wouldn’t be all over your case.
@LTJpezcore1: The writers put themselves into a corner, with Wilbur’s complete obliviousness to Belle’s attempts to kill Dawn. I imagine they were delighted when their brainstorming came up with, “Who does Wilbur love more than his own daughter? Of course, the fish!”
@The Rambling Otter: Yeah, it’s pretty sad that if Josh makes a “The economy sure is terrible!” joke, in regards to Snuffy Smith, I now have to double check if he’s talking about the comic, or real life.
@Ken: Moy’s grasping at straws to try and make Wilbur not look like a terrible person. Saying that he’s dedicated to his consolation prize fish named after himself is not the way to do it.
Archie: Well, newspaper Jughead, you’re trapped in ~ 15 year-old reruns of a comic strip that premiered in 1946 and ended in 2011, which means that after 65 years your time is finally running out. Just kidding, the reruns will begin again sometime next year and continue to cycle until sometime after the heat death of the universe, your only chance to escape the hellscape of this seventh realm of samsara is to embrace the noble eight-fold path of the Buddha and renounce your attachment to gluttony and laziness. Are you sure you want to know more about your day?
FC: Thel laughs; “Just think, you could have been hitting on that all winter.”
@The Rambling Otter: It’s about the American legal system not so much collapsing as demonstrating the viciousness of its socioeconomic underpinnings…
Frazz: Mallett thought balloon: “Let’s see, what innocuous, harmless, enjoyable thing can I sneer at today? Ooo, I know! Marshmallows! Man, this is cutting-edge stuff. Nobody out there is doing comics like this!”
CS: Groan, more Batsturbation.
Blondie: Evidently, if Cookie’s dates don’t bring a tribute of food to Dagwood, they’re not allowed in the house.
H&L: Speaking of situations that make no sense, Lois is going to allow a six-year-old to handle the wet good china. Yeah, good luck.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Thank you very much :)
GT: Coach Martinez speaks for all of us.
JP: [together] “Will you marry me?”
MW: “Bagels? No cake?
Also Archie: COLA, the machine announces, COLA, nothing non-generic must ever be allowed in this strip. No inspiration, no exhilaration, no invigoration, only the soothing, the anodyne, the registered trademark-free. COLA, forever.
@The Rambling Otter: We share your distress.
Luann: I can’t wait to see these two in bed:
On second thought, maybe I can wait.
FC: It seems odd that it’s almost the end of the school year and they’re just now meeting Billy’s teacher. Are they on Australian time and school is just now getting underway? Or was this comic misfiled in the archives and Jeff didn’t notice the seasonal discrepancy?
@CanuckDownSouth: I mean…yeah…except the moment that Wilbur let she found herself in an abusive relationship, so maybe she’s not THAT capable…
Well, a DIFFERENT abusive relationship lol
@Ken: OK I laughed out loud in my office at that
Jughead has a knack for breaking records. First, “most hamburgers eaten in a single sitting at Pop’s.” Second, “youngest person ever diagnosed with dementia.”
@Baja Gaijin: I don’t see any difference between the first two.
Archie: Apparently Archie is a big fan of 49ers cornerback Chavarius Ward.
Shoe: So…is the mother-in-law board protecting the Perfesser from the baggage that comes with committing to another human being, or is it protecting women from being trapped in a marriage with him? I’m inclined to believe the latter, myself.
Crankshat: CS is well into Walt Wallet territory now. Never been 100% clear on which sister was older, but always assumed it was Lillian. Even if not & she was a year or two younger than Lucy, she’d be around 104 now. As for Crank himself, years ago he was shown coming ashore in Normandy. Based on how old a child he’s been depicted as during the Depression, likely he’d have been older than 18. BUT, if we’re generous & say he was 18 in 1944, that still means he’d have been born in 1926 & would be around 99 now. No way in hell he’d be driving a school bus (liability issues would be off the scale). But these two loathsome oldsters will just keep soldiering on, doomed to spout Batty’s cringesome “writing” in perpetuity. As that certainly seems like a form of Hell, it’s a suitably punitive fate for them.
@Phantom Phan: Thanks. I was baffled by that one.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: I liked how “Spiderman: Into the Spider-verse” addressed that scenario.
As the flagship soda of Mile’s universe was called “Koki Cola” (or something like that) but then later when it shows Peter B. Parker’s universe, you see a Coca-Cola ad proper.
Very well done, I felt personally.
@Gustavo’s Golden Birthday: #42: Nah, I’ll bet he wanted cake.
DT: “Call me ‘Icarus Lovejoy.’ My birth name was Hercules Horrocks, but I changed it after the other two triplets got killed in a car crash last week. Now, who’s up for Ovaltine?”
@treetown: Oh the subtext was there. Baja just clubbed us over the head. All of the town mothers hate Parent Teacher Conference night for just this reason.
@mvg: The youngest member of the 1940 Toledo Mud Hens, a team Crankshaft ostensibly played for, was born in early 1919. That makes Crankshaft at least 106. This is also consistent with all the baseball integration stories we’ve seen in Crankshaft, at which time he would have been in his late 20s.
Inability to remember very recent events could indicate early-onset Alzheimer, drug and alcohol abuse or being date raped. Mmmmm, none of those options makes for a good joke
C’shaft: It figures that when Lillian buried Lucy, she didn’t bother getting an additional plot and memorial for herself as living relatives often do. She never cared much for her sister in life; why would she want to be close to her in death?
Dustin: Honestly, those creepy grins would be enough to get me booking for the exit.
MW: Bagels? No way Wilbur eats bagels for breakfast. He’s a Krispy Kreme guy through and through.
RMMD: “I was…nervous, I guess? That’s a thing people with emotions and souls feel when they get married, right?”
@Banana Jr. 6000: I guess… if one wants to get technical. The two separate time-streams in Centerville and Westview merging probably did a “Elder Scrolls: Warp of the West” level continuity overhaul which may or may not have made Crankshaft an immortal God while also keeping a second mortal Crankshaft hanging around.
yDt: “Icarus?”
“Yes, my father considered himself a modern-day Daedalus!”
“Ah, he was an architect who built a complicated palace? Or an inventor of marvellous machines?”
“More or less. He was a pioneer in providing sex toys to women with unnatural desires for bestiality”
@mvg: Lillian and Lucy are supposed to be twins, so this firmly sets her age at 105. Maybe that’s why she harbors delusions of being able to run a bookshop out of her attic.
@LTJpezcore1: she’s attracted to Wilbur. So yeah, crazy and stupid.
Dustin: Is this a continuing story? Will we see the third loser walk in tomorrow? I hope it’s Dustdad.
@The Rambling Otter: Batiuk also made up a character who can “nudge” time whenever he wants to, so who knows? But if he’s going to make a fetish out of his self-proclaimed realism and consistent aging, I’m going to hold him to that standard.
GT: It’s 2025, Austin. Mandatory religiosity is leaking back into public schools. Do you want to derail this sports comic into a court comic about what “freedom to worship” is? Do you?
RMMD: Relieved that the first thing he remembered about his wedding wasn’t cake.
MW: The fish’s expression makes me miss the smiling dog and cat. MW had achieved the impossible.
H&L: Ask Dot to help dry the good china a few more times and this problem will solve itself.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: DC has Big Belly Burger and Soder Cola. Not to be confused with Souder Cola, a favorite of Bush-era Supreme Court justices.
MW: The sad thing, this dumb fish plot almost works. If Belle’s motivation was to kill Wilbur’s loved ones to control him, and Belle realized he loves his relationship-proxy fish more than his own daughter, then it makes total sense. But the whole story is vague, aimless, and just plain stupid.
CS: (In Clara Peller voice) Where’s the joke?!
@Liam: English muffins are too ethnic for Mary Worth. Better stick with donuts, Wilbur. And stay away from those uppity patrician Boston Creams!
MW – Let’s not forget that Wilbur just came home from a muffin stuff-in with Mary. The man must need his carbs to keep up the vigorous love-making* that crazy requires.
*It may only be 45 seconds, but they are frenzied.
@Guillermo el chiclero: But Dustdad isn’t a loser! Dustdad is a successful lawyer, which we know because 90% of the strips we see of him at work is him scarfing down donuts. Sure, he’s ugly, bald, fat, and an overall terrible human being, but…um…uh…er…he’s not a loser like Dustin! Now let us laugh at loser Dustin and his loser ways! Ha ha ha! — the writers
MW: Belle’s going to kill Willa and frame Dawn for it… somehow.
‘Oh Wilbie! It was horrible! I tried to stop her, but she just kept ranting about how much she hated you and poor Willa! Before I knew it, she had dumped the whole jug of Clog-B-Gone in the tank. Oh, the smell was terrible!’
@Ukulele Ike: Boston Creams would make sense since Wilbur’s a New England native if his origin story is still considered canon…like, actual New England rather than Santa Royale/Charterstone pretending that it’s New England in California to exclude the non-WASPs.
FC: I’m lovin’ Old Mrs. Gallagher’s hairstyle. Pretty gutsy for a second-grade teacher to wear the “just fucked” look.
@Needless Exposition: Are Boston Cream donuts any more popular in New England than elsewhere? What exactly makes them Bostonian? For all donut fans care, they might as well be Kalamazoo Cream donuts.
Wilbur would certainly favor them, because they add chocolate frosting and custard to the usual bargeload of sugar found in a donut.
Shoe: Of all the comics featured on this blog, Shoe would definitely be the worst one to live in. Inagine a world where each and every attempt at conversation is futile because the only response you’ll ever get is a nonsensical insult.
Archie: Hahahaha, its funny because Jughead’s anterograde amnesia is ruining his life!
CS: Do we know that “present-day” Crankshaft is set in the year 2025? Could it just as easily take place in 2010? Or this could be a flashback.
I’m reminded of one of the many reasons I quit reading this, and feel the need to drop it again,
@Cleveland Mocks:
H&L: Speaking of situations that make no sense, Lois is going to allow a six-year-old to handle the wet good china. Yeah, good luck.
Makes perfect sense when you realize they were a gift from Hi’s mother. “Eight down. Twelve to go;” Thinks Lois.
@ectojazzmage: re Shoe: Even worse, imagine balancing on a tree limb every day
@Ukulele Ike: Apparently the difference between Bavarian cream and Boston cream is that Bavarian cream uses gelatin, heavy cream, and whipped cream to get a jelly-like consistency while Boston cream uses cornstarch and milk for a silky consistency.
@Ukulele Ike: Okay, looked it up. The Boston Cream Pie was invented in the mid-19th century at the Parker House Hotel in Boston, and the donut was obviously inspired by the pie. The BC is the official state donut of Massachusetts, one of only two states with a designated donut (the other is Louisiana and its beignet).
Still, nothing about chocolate icing and custard is particularly New Englandish. Given the popularity of frozen custard stands in the upper Midwest, it should probably be called the Sheboygan Cream donut.
Six Chex and A Cat Named Jimmy Durante: “Hope they catch that punk who stole your nose!”
Are any New England sports teams named the Boston Creams?
@The Quiet Man: Or else Wilbur and his bagels arrive just as Belle tries to kill Dawnie for protecting Willa.
FC-I think you are going to need a private one on one conference with Mrs. Gallagher.
@Arabella: I don’t think it matters much whether Eugene has been pining after a girl who rejected him for 65 years, or 80.
@Arabella: Sports teams, no. Drag revues, yes.
Archie! The swoosh goes on the front of the shirt!
CS: so Lucille would be 105. Does Batiuk know this?
CS: It’s really disturbing that he only started visiting her after she died.
Luann: This may be the first time the two of them have actually been alone, and he’s suggesting that they move in together. This strip can never manage to convey recognizable human behavior.
So, what’s coming tomorrow? Will Phil clarify that he was only speaking economically and intended his remark to be entirely sexless, or will he propose marriage?
CS: Lillian dishonored her sister by paying for a cheap gravestone with shitty kerning. It’s a fairly minor crime, considering the letter incident, but it’s one that will last for years.
Archie: The AJGU3000 actually generated a serviceable joke. Witnessing this level of sentience from generative AI and understanding its implications for the future of humanity, no wonder Pops is shocked.
@Professor Well Actually: I suspect there’s a wide gap between what he knows and what he cares about.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: Lillian had the sloppy kerning done special after she had a vision of Pope Francis’s 2025 gravestone* in a spooky dream! The McKenzies have a history of devout Catholicism, always darning their socks in the night when there’s nobody there.
* https://www.ncregister.com/news/pope-francis-tomb-letter-spacing
Luann: Has anyone checked on the Trufans to see how they are handling this potential bedroom (studio?) farce? I don’t have the intestinal fortitude.