Metapost: Your COTW is hot ‘n’ ready for you
Post Content
Mmm, it’s a delicious comment of the week!
“Boy, did I score today, Mary! This extra sandwich was going to be Stanley’s until they hauled him away for criminal negligence!” –Bob Tice
And some very tasty runners up!
“It’s kind of fascinating how Shoe is so ripe for the furries to take it and run with it, except every character, even extras, looks like three divorces and two packs a day.” –kumquats, on BlueSky
“The table and chairs are from the Dagwood Bumstead ‘Furniture for People with Short Weird Legs’ collection.” –Baja Gaijin
“I love how all the animals are completely invested in this mystery with wide-eyed stares except for the duck on the right who’s thinking, ‘I don’t have time for this shit. I’ve got to attend to my laundry so it doesn’t get incinerated.’” –Weaselboy
“Luann and Bernice are taken to another realm, to become heroic and save the new planet from — that WAS the plot of John Carter, right? I feel stupid for asking, because absolutely nobody saw John Carter. It’s my own fault for shooting for a John Carter reference, really. Anyway, hopefully Luann and Bernice are dead now.” –A Grave Mind
“Bernice just solved the Lament Configuration from Hellraiser, and she and Luann have been transported to the Cenobite realm, a hell of infinite sadomasochistic pain. Compared to the usual level of agonized fumbling youthful sexuality on display in this strip, this will be a sweet relief for them.” –Schroduck
“I’m used to Jamaal’s bald head, no problem. But I’m not sure I will ever get used to his [peers at it again] moustache and beard configuration.” –Poteet
“I’ve learned, Mary, that you can go for a balloon ride, get stranded in a forest, get rescued by the fire department, and go straight to a diner to eat without stopping at home for a shower and nap … and dogs are great.” –Hibbleton
“‘Unexpected things happen. Things we never imagined.’ ‘I can’t even imagine this hot air balloon deflating and crashing,’ thought no one in a hot air balloon.” –Kirk Out
“Kudos to the Pluggers art team! Man-Dog the Dog-Man looks like he’s discovered a new kind of incredibly satisfying full-body fatigue, and he’ll be dozing off to the familiar strains of confused dialogue between Eva Gabor and Pat Butram in no time. Even his chair is patterned like a pair of button-down pajamas. Stellar work, y’all.” –Victor Von
“It really looks like Olive is eating a standard diner sandwich, like tuna or chicken salad or something, and look. After you learn, conclusively, that animals are intelligent sentient creatures capable of language and advanced problem solving, maybe at least consider going vegetarian. Maybe fish are stupider than dogs, I dunno.” –Dan
“I can’t wait til they go on their first Mundane Couples Cruise.” –MKay
“Evidence that the mop is intended to be coded ‘female’: Long, flowing ‘hair’; drinking wine, something men are usually not depicted doing unless it’s a fancy dinner or a pre-20th century setting. Evidence that the mop is intended to be coded ‘male’: Refers to the broom as ‘buddy,’ indicating that this is one guy straight talking another, no attempt to give the mop boobs.” –TheDiva
“I’m loving how much Mary’s recent dialog sounds like ‘I fervently believe that you are gaining control over strong mental powers that would change the world if we understood them, and I’m going to speak about them with the kinds of platitudes that people give when they want to end the conversation.’” –Nevin, on Patreon
“I like how happy Bitsy looks. He’s not in any intestinal distress, he’s going back out for the love of the game (the game being feces).” –pugfuggly
“LOLing at Archie and Veronica’s reaction in the last panel. ‘Wait, removing someone’s glasses can reduce their ability to SEE?! What strange witchcraft is this?’” –Roscoe
“I’d like to know the thought process behind the extra in the first panel. ‘Wait, we can’t actually be promoting glasses-shaming. Let’s include a cute girl with glasses somewhere in the comic. We need to make clear that people with glasses can be attractive, and it’s just Dilton who’s the uggo.’” –Westing1992
“This Wizard of Id becomes really sad when you consider that the people in this land have almost nothing, yet they’re so angry at the king, they’re willing to sacrifice what few possessions they have just to express their displeasure with him. See that brick in panel one? That was someone’s retirement fund. And that pitchfork in panel two? Well, now that farmer has nothing left to leave his children when he dies of cholera.” –Joe Blevins
“Three million dollars! I’m rich! Me, Edgar Grant, right! Let me just move my thumb … What? Edgar Allan Poe? Who the hell is that? And what’s a Zimbabwean dollar worth? Jesus, maybe … if I move my other thumb … it’s unsigned? Nooooo!” –Voshkod
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40 replies to “Metapost: Your COTW is hot ‘n’ ready for you”
Congratulations to all. Here are the Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Dave
October 11th, 2025 at 6:44 am Reply
Pluggers have heard of this newfangled invention called “paper”, but they’re not sure if they trust it.
Rube
October 11th, 2025 at 6:48 am Reply
@Dave: They need a list to remind themselves to get things like eggs and milk, otherwise every shopping trip would just be canned frosting, Twinkies ™ and Bud Light.
BigTed
October 11th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
Pluggers: A plugger grocery list is like a regular grocery list, except it’s tattooed on your arm. This is just like the movie Memento, except even sadder.
Blondie: There’s nothing like seeing two skinny guys binge-eating wings and chips. I guess switching to diet orange soda makes more of a difference than anyone thought!
Shoe: “When we first started sleeping together I Camelot, but now I find myself spending every day fantasizing about every knight. I’ve even been thinking about calling this other Galahad.”
Shoe: “When we first started sleeping together I Camelot, but now I find myself spending every day fantasizing about every knight. I’ve even been thinking about calling this other Galahad.”
MKay
October 11th, 2025 at 4:57 am Reply
SHOE: What Arthurian scholar doesn’t know that Guinevere’s nickname was “Muffy?”
nescio
October 11th, 2025 at 5:23 am Reply
Shoe: “So, Muffy, why did you stop going out with Lance?” “I can’t be in a relationship where both our names are euphemisms for genitals.”
Professor Wagstaff
October 11th, 2025 at 5:34 am Reply
Shoe: Muffy? Lance? I think
I sawthat movie inexplicably appeared on my hotel bill once.Schroduck
October 11th, 2025 at 5:10 am Reply
Shoe: I disagree. I think adding “Muffy” to the dialogue adds a lot to the characterisation. For instance, it tells us that she keeps a natural, unshaven pubic area.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Charterstoned
October 11th, 2025 at 5:38 am Reply
MW: Max and Mary have exactly the same expression on their faces. Max is busy sniffing Eve’s crotch. Mere coincidence?
CanuckDownSouth
October 11th, 2025 at 5:44 am Reply
GT When I daydream about being famous / celebrated / in demand, it’s along the lines of “lucking into making peaceful contact with aliens”, which is arguably only slightly less realistic than this multiple-pro-sports-frenzy for a high school coach who can’t even win against the basic local rival team.
Little Blue Bicycle
October 11th, 2025 at 7:00 am Reply
GT: “I would go to the highest bidder! That’s what I always did at the bar. More money, more Beth! Love for sale boys! Works on my OnlyFans account too. Which reminds me, I’m tired of your high school chump change. Time to pay to play Gil. NIL me coach!”
Liam
October 11th, 2025 at 7:22 am Reply
FC-“One of those men has to be my real father.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
October 12th, 2025 at 5:08 am Reply
FC: A dead Barfy in the right of the panel would have really sold it.
FC Bets on whether this is a slightly updated 60s strip? The cars outside look pretty modern, but what’s with the sideburns, bags, and suitcase? (Is Dolly carrying a huge makeup case or was that the ladies carry-on size style at the time?)
BigTed
October 12th, 2025 at 4:44 am Reply
Pluggers: This retired plugger is so worried about living on a fixed income that he’s taken to cornhole hustling. (A general warning: Never bet against a guy who calls himself “Minnesota Catz.”)
MKay
October 12th, 2025 at 5:05 am Reply
MW: Mary handled her severe acrophobia by eating five edibles and tearing off her bra. Now she has some ‘splaining to do.
The Quiet Man
October 12th, 2025 at 6:29 am Reply
MW: Waitwaitwait! Everyone just gets back to solid ground and that’s it? Olive was supposed to go sailing off alone in that balloon!! How do I contact Comic Managment? This will not stand!!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Weaselboy
October 12th, 2025 at 6:37 am Reply
SFx – I love how all the animals are completely invested in this mystery with wide-eyed stares except for the duck on the right who’s thinking, “I don’t have time for this shit. I’ve got to attend to my laundry so it doesn’t get incinerated.”
Victor Von
October 12th, 2025 at 6:48 am Reply
Slylock Fox: The answer to a visual puzzle mystery is “ask the witnesses?” I CAN’T ASK THE WITNESSES, I’M NOT A CARTOON! Seriously guys, give us something about the size of the hole for the convict’s tail. We’re just inches away from “Slylock called the prison and asked who escaped,” and no one wants that.
ValdVin
October 12th, 2025 at 6:58 am Reply
@Victor Von:
“Hello, prison? This is Slylock Fox. Who escaped?”
“A duck with no pants.”
And that’s how Donald Duck was deported to South Sudan.
TheDiva
October 12th, 2025 at 7:41 am Reply
SFx: No, sorry, but if your whole shtick is Encyclopedia Brown-level logic puzzles disguised as “mysteries,” you have to go for something a little less immediately obvious than “the fugitive, finding himself in a place where clothes were readily accessible, took some clothes to wear in place of his prison uniform.” That’s like a filler scene in The Fugitive, not an exercise in deductive reasoning.
Riff Raff
October 12th, 2025 at 7:53 am Reply
Today’s Slylock Fox has layers of commentary, when you really think about it. “Ask witnesses and bystanders” is not just the laziest “detective puzzle” solution ever. It’s also a sad state of the American education system as well as propaganda for a growing police state. “What happenes when even the best police officers forget even the most fundamental aspects of police and investigative work?” Be grateful that he is still asking questions instead of mowing down the customers in shame of his confusion, and then having the laundromat shut down as a potential antifa sleeper cell.
Tabby Lavalamp
October 12th, 2025 at 6:53 am Reply
I looked all over the Slylock Fox art looking for some nonsense (like most of them are clearly wearing clothes that are too small for them) thinking, “All he needs to do is ask the customers if anything they have is missing,” only discover that the shocking answer is yes, Slylock Fox is going to act like an actual detective for once in his god-forsaken life. Going against expectations? Well played, Bob Weber Jr. Well played.
ectojazzmage
October 12th, 2025 at 7:34 am Reply
Rhymes Wifh Orange: I can picture the writer coming up with the idea of a 4/20 themed comic, forgetting about it, than remembering about it months later and hurriedly making it even though 4/20 was months ago.
Ukulele Ike
October 12th, 2025 at 7:54 am Reply
H&L: Irma — go with Smallpox n’ Syphilis Day, to commemorate the bounty Old Europe bestowed upon their friends in the new world.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
treetown
October 13th, 2025 at 8:06 am Reply
RMMD: We’ll reach the house in another 4-5 (blocks) days.
Bob Tice
October 13th, 2025 at 4:55 am Reply
RMMD:
“Well, okay — I’ll give you a little hint. It’s a semi-autobiographical piece about a fellow who enjoys taking evening walks because he likes looking in the windows of people’s houses!”
“Nighty night, Augie.”
MW:
“And speaking about unmistakable feelings of doom, Mary, what’s new with Dr. Jeff?”
Powers
October 13th, 2025 at 4:59 am Reply
MW: I don’t quite understand the confusion here. Olive’s premonition about the air conditioner was necessary to save Mary’s life. Her sense of doom was what would happen if she didn’t act. In the case of the hot air balloon, she didn’t need to have a premonition to save anyone. No doom, no premonition. (Her connection with the dogs helped, but that didn’t require any foreknowledge.)
Schroduck
October 13th, 2025 at 5:00 am Reply
MW: Grilled cheese? That’s too mundane. The new TikTok-inspired trend is incinerated cheese. Cheese sandwiches held under a flamethrower until they’ve been completely reduced to a slab of black carbon. An acquired taste for most people, but Mary is just glad someone’s finally managed to capture the flavour of her salmon squares.
brendancalling
October 13th, 2025 at 6:12 am Reply
MW: The only thing that annoys me more than everything about Olive is the way Mary keeps using terms a British nanny would use: “dear girl,” for example. Fuck you, Mary.
Peanut Gallery
October 13th, 2025 at 7:16 am Reply
MW – “Don’t question my bullshit, Mary. I’m now bigger than you and I’m eating two sandwiches to every one of yours!”
Victor Von
October 13th, 2025 at 5:44 am Reply
Mary Worth: Good times for Mary and Olive over at the No Eye-Contact Cafe!
Luann: Panel 1, Luann and Bernice just vibing, listening to the dog’s musical butt.
Old School Allie Cat
October 13th, 2025 at 5:49 am Reply
Luann – I can only assume that “zooop” indicates a loud sucking sound. Because this thing sucks. It sucks to high heaven.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
October 13th, 2025 at 7:11 am Reply
Luann: To be fair, a giant sucking sound for a giant sucking comic? You won’t ever find a more appropriate start to the week.
Alter Ego
October 13th, 2025 at 8:01 am Reply
Luann – That second-panel dialogue is exactly the same in the Tijuana Bible version.
Baja Gaijin
October 13th, 2025 at 8:04 am Reply
Luann: I’ve never seen one before but I hope that’s some kind of karmic toilet, flushing Luann and Bernice into another dimension and out of mine.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
October 13th, 2025 at 6:45 am Reply
FC: “Hey, Lady. My dad says; ‘twins means you did it twice in the same night.’ What does that mean?”
Pozzo
October 14th, 2025 at 4:36 am Reply
Pluggers: If he gets up, the chair comes with him.
MKay
October 14th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
PLUGGERS: He could bellow at the wife to fetch batteries, but doesn’t want to delay his next meal. First things first!
RMMD: If Augie’s writing is as stimulating as his conversation, he’s going to need a bigger “Rejects” drawer.
Professor Well Actually
October 14th, 2025 at 4:40 am Reply
RMMD: I assume Augie’s unwillingness to discuss his books with Summer is a metaphor for erectile dysfunction. He undresses in the dark and won’t let her see the short story in his pants.
A Grave Mind
October 14th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
Rex Morgan, M.D., satisfying the public demand for people eating at lame restaurants, walking short distances, and talking about eating at lame restaurants and walking short distances. Ya give the people what they want!
The Quiet Man
October 14th, 2025 at 4:54 am Reply
RMMD: And now, a firm and hearty handshake.
Arabella
October 14th, 2025 at 6:53 am Reply
RMMD: Will she invite Augie in for “coffee”? That led to eventual matrimony for Iris and Zak.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 14th, 2025 at 12:44 pm Reply
RMMD: If I’m reading this right, they’ve agreed that if Augie sells his book he should take Summer out for a nice dinner, and if he doesn’t he shouldn’t call her anymore.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Judas Peckerwood
October 14th, 2025 at 6:06 am Reply
I’m just waiting for Olive to take it to the next level a la “It’s a Good Life” and start wishing the more annoying MW characters (starting with Wilbur) into the cornfield.
Hibbleton
October 14th, 2025 at 6:18 am Reply
MW: What happens in a few years when Olive becomes sexually active and her psychic powers go haywire during intercourse?
“Look!! All the canines in the dog park have started humping. …Wilbur! Get off that Sharpei!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 14th, 2025 at 12:44 pm Reply
MW: If this strip is going to become a syndicated X-Men comic Mary needs a few more freak powered pupils so that Olive doesn’t monopolize the conversation. Also, somebody needs to break Mary’s legs, which should be fun.
JP: “At least I put the spoons on a higher shelf. That’s the important part, right?”
Peanut Gallery
October 14th, 2025 at 7:19 am Reply
Pluggers – A plugger would rather awkwardly repurpose an old joke about being too lazy to get up and change the channel (from the days before remote control) than go to all the trouble of coming up with a new, equally lame joke.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Baja Gaijin
October 15th, 2025 at 4:32 am Reply
Rex Morgan: We can tell who didn’t use Lume and Mando Deodorants within the past 72 hours.
Voshkod
October 15th, 2025 at 6:48 am Reply
Rex Morgan Presents: Duke Ellington’s (I’m Not In The) Mood Indigo.
pugfuggly
October 15th, 2025 at 5:15 am Reply
RMMD: Wow. a scene so boring that the background itself has just given up and left, along with two primary colors.
Professor Well Actually
October 15th, 2025 at 5:59 am Reply
RMMD: yep, Augie is terrified about letting Summer see the short story in his pants.
Hibbleton
October 15th, 2025 at 6:26 am Reply
RMMD: If all his novel climaxes end with “No thanks, I gotta get home,” that might explain Augie’s previous rejection letters.
Dennis Jimenez
October 15th, 2025 at 6:23 am Reply
RMMD – Working on the old book = wanking to cyber porn….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
CanuckDownSouth
October 15th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
GT I thought the previous game was going to wrap up the Very Special Episode by showcasing Tobias, leading to the school board going back on the trans player policy, but I guess they were delaying that to line up a guest artist who can draw well enough for us to tell which player is which!
treetown
October 15th, 2025 at 5:13 am Reply
GT: Who is Gil barking out commands to? The field is the other way!
Arabella
October 15th, 2025 at 6:36 am Reply
Pluggers: After he puts his phone on Do Not Disturb, he misses calls and texts from:
1. the doctor’s office – tomorrow’s appointment has been moved up to 8AM.
2. his elderly mother – she’s having a heart attack and is driving herself to hospital.
3. next-door neighbor – there’s a pack of coyotes in the back yard.
“I wonder what’s taking Henrietta so long to take out the trash.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Dick Biter
October 15th, 2025 at 5:52 am Reply
FC: Is there a female equivalent of tea-bagging? What would we call it if Thel dragged those massive mammaries over those cookies? Of flapjacks or whatever they are?
Guy Nerdlinger
October 15th, 2025 at 7:41 am Reply
@Dick Biter: “Motorboating”?
Yeah, I’d say Thel’s ol’ “Cross your heart” is getting a workout today.
Liam
October 16th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
Marvin-“Why can’t you go on the carpet like Marvin?”
Hibbleton
October 16th, 2025 at 4:52 am Reply
Marvin: Frankly, the “I just took you out” gag would have worked better with his son, Marvin. “See if you can hold it till old man Swinson’s lawn, this time.”
pugfuggly
October 16th, 2025 at 5:01 am Reply
Marvin: I like how happy Bitsy looks. He’s not in any intestinal distress, he’s going back out for the love of the game (the game being feces).
Victor Von
October 16th, 2025 at 5:36 am Reply
I’ve always thought of Marvin‘s art style as “Legally Distinct From Garfield,” but it may have taken things a step too far. It starts with pets thought-ballooning at their thin, white owners. It ends with diapers filled with lasagna.
Morgan Wick
October 16th, 2025 at 6:30 am Reply
Okay, it was bad enough when Marvin couldn’t keep straight whether its title character was a preverbal infant or old enough to hold conversations with his parents despite still resisting toilet training. But now we have the dog opening his mouth (?) to quip at his owner (??) with a thought balloon (?!?). Even Garfield doesn’t open his mouth to thought-talk at Jon or anyone else!
A Grave Mind
October 16th, 2025 at 4:48 am Reply
Marvin has taught me that sea green is apparently the color of annoyed anger, so at least there’s learning going on today! Thanks, Marvin!
She’s laughing now, but just wait until Dustin draws the Flux Capacitor (she still hasn’t seen the movie! It’s a CLASSIC, Meg!).
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Professor Well Actually
October 16th, 2025 at 5:10 am Reply
RMMD: Summer was hoping she’d have something that didn’t need batteries twixt her nethers tonight but square-jawed Augie has school in the morning.
Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)
October 16th, 2025 at 9:06 am Reply
RMMD: Geeze Louise. Eleanor Shaw kissed her son Raymond with more passion than *that*.
The Rambling Otter
October 16th, 2025 at 5:00 am Reply
Mary Worth: Many people have psychic powers and love can do anything!
(Remember when Mary Worth used to give literal advice? Even terrible advice was still advice.. I don’t know what’s even happening any more)
Schroduck
October 16th, 2025 at 5:01 am Reply
MW: I don’t think Olive’s powers have ever been shown as being triggered by love. Or does Mary mean “if your parents love each other a bit too much, they’ll neglect you and give you lots of alone time to develop psychic powers”?
Ken
October 16th, 2025 at 5:11 am Reply
MW: My disgust at today’s strip is exceeded only my disgust at the thought that this will continue, and we’ll be “treated” to an arc where Wilbur develops telepathic powers after finding His One True Love (Who’s Not A Fish).
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
October 16th, 2025 at 5:21 am Reply
Mary suddenly explaining the truth about telepathy is step one. Next, she wants to talk to Dawn about cryptocurrency.
MKay
October 16th, 2025 at 5:21 am Reply
MW: Call me when Olive makes her spoon float to feed her the sundae.
But What Do I Know?
October 16th, 2025 at 6:40 am Reply
MW — “Everyone can be like me and exercise special powers–they just have to try. And if they don’t it’s their own fault and they deserve to wallow in the mud.”
Olive just became even more incredibly unlikable, but she’s obviously been to business school.
cheech wizard
October 16th, 2025 at 7:24 am Reply
MW – “We often forget what is possible with love!”
“Ok Mary, I don’t even need to read your mind to know what you’re thinking and frankly, it’s grossing me out. You’re what, 78? Ick!”
BigTed
October 17th, 2025 at 4:34 am Reply
Rex Morgan: I like that there’s a restaurant in town that people just refer to as “The Restaurant.” It’s either a really great restaurant, or a really small town.
Ken
October 17th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
RMMD: Maybe it’s just me, but that co-worker’s questions have a “so how is he in bed” subtext. Maybe it’s just the bolding of restaurant making it seem like a (wink-wink nudge-nudge) euphemism.
Banana Jr. 6000
October 17th, 2025 at 5:43 am Reply
RMMD: A schoolteacher and an author? Wow, does he also a dead cancer wife he needs to bring up every five seconds?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
MKay
October 17th, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
MW: I don’t think Greta and Max have the stamina to run all the way to the wilds of Indiana to paw through the wreckage of Olive’s plane.
Liam
October 17th, 2025 at 5:27 am Reply
MW-With the way these characters talk I’m surprised Olive isn’t flying to Idlewild.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Baja Gaijin
October 13th, 2025 at 8:01 am Reply
Zits: That Austrian nihilist is so totally gonna have a gang-boink starring Jeremy, Hector, and the guy with all the hardware hanging off him.
69. Arabella
October 14th, 2025 at 7:24 am Reply
JP: I believe Neddy has been living in the guest house when she’s back at Spencer Farms, so that is currently “her place.” Though she apparently takes her meals at the main house.
69. Peanut Gallery
October 16th, 2025 at 6:55 am Reply
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hooray! I love having my own bowling alley!”
“Why do you think he’s so excited about it, Polonio?”
“I’m not sure”
“But I don’t like the look in his eye while I’m in here resetting the pins!”
Thanks, Scratchy.
Thanks, Scratchy! (I’d forgotten that comment)
Thank you, Scratchy. I’m always happy to see myself in the Scrotums.
Thank you, Josh and Scratchy! Makes my day every time. Hail our new heavyweight champion, our poet laureate, Bob Tice (I was really jealous of this one, Bob)! The Gravemind sees Joe Blevins, Kirk Out, Poteet and Weaselboy, but this week had some Dream Team 92 level stuff going on funnywise. A steinhoist to all!
Congrats to the CotW’ers! :3
And so many other funny people as well, you’re all great!
And thanks Scratchy!
Congrats to Bob Tice and my fellow floaters and thanks, Scratchy!
Do you ever read a sentence and think “This has almost certainly never been said before”?
Thanks for the honorable mentions, Scratchy.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Did you know that vampires can’t seem themselves in a scrotum?
Congrats to Bob Tice, everyone on the float and the scratchies! Broon Croons to Kirk Out, roscoe, Peanut Gallery, and everyone complaining about the laundromat Slylock Fox!
Thank you, Josh! Thank you, Scratchy! And a thank you to everyone here, all of whom of you make being a member of this chat community one of the absolute highlights of my day, each and every day. As surely as the swallows return to San Juan Capistrano and the buzzards return to Hinckley, Ohio each and every year, I know that I can come to this site every day and leave laughing.
@A Grave Mind:
Not to break my arm patting all of our collective backs, but it’s hard work trying to be consistently funny!
Congratulations to Bob Tice and the other float folk. Also to the scratchies, with thanks to Scratchy Scrotum LXIX for the mentions. Tips of the beret to Baja Gaijin, Hibbleton, and Voshkod.
@Bob Tice:
Would we have it any other way? My honors, Sir Bob.
Oooooo! A Float Runner Up and a trio of Scratchies! What a week! And an AKFAB Hat Tip! Does the adulation ever end? [rereads thread] Yup, it does.
Shadow COTW Contenders
nescio
October 11th, 2025 at 5:23 amReply
Shoe: “So, Muffy, why did you stop going out with Lance?” “I can’t be in a relationship where both our names are euphemisms for genitals.”
Philip
October 11th, 2025 at 12:43 pmReply
Herb and Jamaal: If The Magic School Bus was about literature instead of science, then Dante’s Inferno episode would be a trip through Rev. Croom’s digestive tract.
Ken
October 12th, 2025 at 4:59 amReply
Mary Worth: Suddenly Olive is shy about claiming her powers? Did she hit her head getting out of the balloon?
Weaselboy
October 12th, 2025 at 6:37 amReply
Slylock Fox: I love how all the animals are completely invested in this mystery with wide-eyed stares except for the duck on the right who’s thinking, “I don’t have time for this shit. I’ve got to attend to my laundry so it doesn’t get incinerated.”
Ukulele Ike
October 12th, 2025 at 7:54 amReply
Hi & Lois: Irma — go with Smallpox n’ Syphilis Day, to commemorate the bounty Old Europe bestowed upon their friends in the new world.
GarrisonSkunk
October 12th, 2025 at 10:17 amReply
Slylock Fox: That rhino has the worst eyebrow toupee EVER!
A Grave Mind
October 12th, 2025 at 12:38 pmReply
Slylock Fox: The acid tabs Rhino Guy took before coming to the laundromat are peaking, and the events in front of him will be a really lousy trip.
Hibbleton
October 13th, 2025 at 4:42 amReply
Herb and Jamaal: After suffering through one of Rev. Croom’s fart filled sermons, Jamal is glad to hear him say that being bald isn’t a curse from God
Leviticus 13:40-41: “a man has lost his hair and he is bald, he is clean.”
Gil Bates
October 13th, 2025 at 5:44 amReply
Herb and Jamaal: Has Jamaal ever considered wearing a hat with eye holes cut out like Dumb Donald of the Cosby Kids? He has the perfect skull shape to pull off the look.
Bob Tice
October 14th, 2025 at 4:54 amReply
Mary Worth: “What have you learned from our balloon accident, Olive?”
“That you’re not the only person or thing full of hot air that is capable of ending up in a tangled predicament!”
Hibbleton
October 14th, 2025 at 4:58 amReply
Rex Morgan: Staying true to its core medical theme, reading this strip is now recommended first line treatment for priapism.
Hibbleton
October 14th, 2025 at 6:18 amReply
Mary Worth: What happens in a few years when Olive becomes sexually active and her psychic powers go haywire during intercourse?
“Look!! All the canines in the dog park have started humping. …Wilbur! Get off that Sharpei!”
Bob Tice
October 15th, 2025 at 4:35 amReply
Alice: This conversation makes “Waiting for Godot” seem action-packed.
pugfuggly
October 15th, 2025 at 5:15 amReply
Rex Morgan: Wow. a scene so boring that the background itself has just given up and left, along with two primary colors.
Ukranazi Stepan
October 16th, 2025 at 4:49 amReply
Mary Worth: Did we have to know that Mary is going cross eyed at the thought that everyone could be a telepath?
Bob Tice
October 16th, 2025 at 5:45 amReply
Mary Worth: And here I always thought that, insofar as it pertained to Mary Worth, “ESP” stood for “Excruciatingly Stupid Plots.”
Guts Dozier
October 16th, 2025 at 6:14 amReply
Archie: It’s tough to be Veronica. Some days, you really need to make Archie jealous by flirting with another guy, and Dilton is the only one nearby.
Tabby Lavalamp
October 16th, 2025 at 6:25 amReply
Mary Worth: Hold on… Did Mary use her own psychic brain powers to force Aldo Kelrast off the road, killing him? I guess she needs something if she’s going to lead the new team of weak-ass superheroes, the Dependers, consisting of her, Olive as Gets Dogs to Come Here Girl and Wilbur as Fugue State Man.
But What Do I Know?
October 16th, 2025 at 6:40 amReply
Mary Worth: “Everyone can be like me and exercise special powers–they just have to try. And if they don’t it’s their own fault and they deserve to wallow in the mud.”
Olive just became even more incredibly unlikable, but she’s obviously been to business school.
ectojazzmage
October 16th, 2025 at 7:31 amReply
Archie: “Dilton’s Chinese cowboy impression is so offensive that Archie’s ulcer practically explodes and he is unable to ask Dilton to stop being so fucking racist.”
Noel
October 16th, 2025 at 8:07 amReply
Mary Worth: Damn, you know, I always wanted to have the power of telepathy but I guess I just have to much of a frosty, closed-off heart incapable of love.
Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)
October 16th, 2025 at 9:06 amReply
Mary Wormtounge: So … the Mean Girls could have used their powers to give Olive an Atomic Wedgie if they did it with love?
Peanut Gallery
October 16th, 2025 at 6:39 pmReply
Peanuts Begins: Thus begins Alfred Hitchcock’s suspense classic, “Dial F for Fussbudget.”
BigTed
October 17th, 2025 at 4:34 amReply
Dick Tracy: Of course, his other thumb is covering up the “Memo” section, where someone has simply written “Bribe.” (Or maybe typed it, but the fonts on this check are all over the place.)
ValdVin
October 17th, 2025 at 8:02 amReply
Family Circus: I’m jealous. As a kid I wasn’t allowed to recreate the Battle of Jutland in the bathtub.
Shadow COTW
Guts Dozier
October 16th, 2025 at 4:44 amReply
Mary Worth: Maybe more people would be interested in awakening their latent ability to communicate telepathically with dogs if dogs weren’t just constantly thinking about poop.
Thank you, Scratchy & Baja.
Making a careful note: Scratchy & Baja both enjoy syphilis jokes
Thanks for the twofer, Scratchy!
@29 Ukulele Ike: You had me at “bestowed”.
Sweeeeet! Triple Crown! Thanks, Baja!
Congrats COTW folks, and thanks Scratchy and Baja!
Thank you, Josh and Scratchy!
Thanks to our host, congrats to BobT, I appreciate the SCOTWC & scrote (from you-know-who and you-know-who-else), and claps for all the named.
Thanks for the mention! The eyebrow toupees are on me!
Thanks Josh, Scratchy, and Baja for all the highlights and also for the mentions. Funny stuff!
Thank you, Baja!
Thanks as always to Josh, Baja, and Scratchy! Gee, for two weeks in a row I hogged a #69 with my Don Abundio comment. I swear I’m not doing it on purpose! I blame it on Abundio, the greedy little oligarch.
Congratulations, Bob Tice! You are truly a worthy successor!
Nice to see that I can stay in the running a couple weeks in a row. Thanks, Josh!