Boring vs. sad: Battle for soap opera supremacy
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/22/26
You really gotta give it up for today’s Rex Morgan, M.D.: it truly offers a master class in absolutely nothing happening. Rex asks if his and June’s current situation could get any less interesting, and June counters that she plans to quietly read books on her tablet, something that would be interesting for her but very boring for anyone who might be watching her in a visual medium like the comics. Rex then proposes an extremely low-stakes bit of tension: will they call his name soon, or will he have to wait around for a while? This is resolved in that very panel, as his name is called almost immediately. A truly wondrous series of soap opera panels. These two did not in fact have sex in the lead-up to all this, just in case you were wondering.
Judge Parker, 1/22/26
You know how Alan’s been drunk and depressed ever since Randy disappeared? Well, apparently he forgot that he had another child whose location he could be very sure of, since she was in prison, and that he could’ve confided in her, or at least told her about her brother’s disappearance. They let you get letters in there, you know! And make occasional phone calls! Whoops! It’s easy to let that sort of thing slip your mind, I guess, when you’re very sad and very drunk.
43 replies to “Boring vs. sad: Battle for soap opera supremacy”
JP: “Well, have you ever heard of a ‘goon cave’? Randy’s fine, he’s just been working it like a claw a lot lately.”
RMMD:
“June, who is this ‘Fanny Hill‘ person whose ‘Memoirs‘ you’re reading, anyway?”
JP: You would think, at some point, that Alan would come to the door to see what’s taking so long. Or to greet his granddaughter, who is supposed to be arriving and whom he supposedly loves. But I guess scowling in an empty room takes the priority.
RMMD: In every writing class I’ve ever been a part of, they teach the importance of editing out unnecessary scenes. For example, characters sitting in a waiting room talking about how bored they are. But auteur comic creator Terry Beatty knows better. Cutting out the boring stuff? No, that’s what they’d expect! Gotta keep ’em guessing.
MW: How and when did Sunny’s beak turn into Bruce Campbell’s chin?
RMMD:
“Is there anything more dull than sitting in a waiting room?”
“Umm, Buck Wise?”
“As Richard Dawson of blessed memory would say on Family Feud, June, ‘Good answer!’ “
RMMD: I like to think the disembodied word balloon in panel three belongs to June.
“I just hope they call my name soon.”
“Your name? You mean Rex?”
JP:
“What happened? Where’s Randy, Katherine?”
“He’s been retconned into a pathetic, jejune caricature of himself — just like everyone else in this strip has been since August, 2016!”
“Oh, okay. Thanks!”
MW-Sunny is hoping to become bi-species.
RMMD-“And none of these magazines are more than five years old.”
Crankshaft-“I’ll never forget his words to me ‘Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.'”
RMMD – thank god they called him or he would have had a full revelation about the effects of long waits for medical treatment on the patient. Instead, he can just keep thinking the irritated people he sees are just ungrateful and pissy naturally.
RMMD:
“I just hope they call my name soon.”
” ‘ Rex “Soon” ‘? — nah. People would make fun of it, because your name would sound as if you were going to be getting into some kind of vehicle accident in the near future. What’s wrong with ‘Rex Morgan’ ?”
RMMD: It’s only when Rex is on the edge of consciousness and going under that he realizes that the eye surgeon is Rene Belusso. “Nooooo…!“
JP-Randy finally found someone who could satisfy him and is no longer randy.
RMMD: Some people see waiting as a queue-risis, while others see it as an oppor-queue-nity.
RMMD: Enjoy that “no kids” feeling, June. You’re about to spend 4-8 weeks with a giant baby.
MW: Sunny is NOT thinking about learning a new language. How jolly will Ian be when he finds his study transformed into a birdie bordello?
9CL: It’s cute when he tries to make the strip look like it’s about more than a bunch of chin-challenged sleazeballs.
JP:
“Where’s Randy, Katherine?”
“Having a bite to eat with Judge Crater!”
“Oh that’s right you wouldn’t know. You can read the the strips from the previous months if you want to catch up with the storyline”
“Hold on, I am not so desperate to know!”
I think the Morgans teed up the possibility of sex and then abandoned it on purpose. I think not having sex is the Morgans’ version of having sex. It gets both of them what they want; Rex gets to avoid having to interact with another human being, and June gets to see Rex not get something.
RMMD “Is there anything more dull than sitting in a waiting room?” I dunno, watching someone sitting in a waiting room?
JP “Where’s Randy? Katherine? Wasn’t there a judge in this strip at one point?”
Phantom: “We quit carrying guns for Chuma just in time … now we’re carrying these guns just for ourselves! Ah, it feels good to be a self-employed gun thug on the make, something the Jungle Patrol and the certainly the Phantom have never ever taken an interest in!”
CS: Is this supposed to be self-deprecation? Because it’s WAY too accurate. Batton Thomas is more of a spot-on roasting of Tom Batiuk than Skunky Funkybuns* was. He’s a tedious, needlessly smug egomaniac with a need to drone on about things nobody cares about. And he’s still bitter he didn’t get that comic book job.
Luann: If anyone ever asks me what “lost the plot” means, I would show them the last 10 days of Luann. This story shifted from Interrupted Intimacy to True Art Is Incomprehensible without a clutch.
Pluggers: What did this man remember at 2 a.m., his war crimes?
* – if you don’t know what I’m referring to, find it on YouTube. It’s very funny. RIP Dan Ronan.
RMMD: “Rex? Dr. Godot will see you now.”
RMMD: ‘Rex? Could you just shut up for two seconds? I told you I’m trying to read!’
Luann: ‘Mr. Frip’ is one of the center’s dementia patients. He’s about to start ripping the clothes down and stomping on them while beating Luann with his walker, thinking she’s his long-suffering (and long dead) wife. ‘I said to get that @#$%&! dryer FIXED, woman!’
@Lauralot:
On JP – Or he could be lying dead from a stroke brought on by all the booze. That would add some much needed ‘DRAMA!!’ to this snoozefest.
RMMD — Two middle-aged patients requiring medical treatment.
Walter White: Say my name.”
Rex Morgan: “I just hope they call my name soon.”
JP Sorry Ann, your attempt as a parolee to bring the strip back to legal topics is too late, they’ve sunk too far into an alcoholic governmental assassin state
MW as Sunny makes lovey-dovey eyes, Rosie just wants to get him alone to berate him for abandoning their smart-as-humans flock, they have plans to start the Animalpocalypse, darn it!
Rex, your wife is desperately trying to avoid a conversation with you, and she’s not being subtle about it, either. “I’m good, I have dozens of books on my tablet. Some uninterrupted reading time sounds great. I never get uninterrupted reading time, y’know, what with the kids and the dogs and the constantly self-centered monologuing husb– I mean, uh, laundry, I never get to do anything uninterrupted anymore. You enjoy the weird color-changing wall behind us and listen, dog-like, to hear your own name, I’ll be over here with Infinite Jest and the joy of knowing you’ll be in a different room soon.”
Barney Googled:
Snuffy Smif wants action, does he? Tuttle can just tell him of the life of St Moses the Black. But the exploits of a giant bandit-punching 4th century Ethiopian hieromonk who was once a gang leader might be too much action for him.
_______________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
“Rex? It’s you, you @#£%^&*! Where’s the 15 years of child support you owe me for our daughter?!?”
_______________________________
Wary Morth:
What’s Spanish for “is that a seed in your beak, or are you just happy to see me?”
@Anonymous: Oh rats, this is my comment but I forgot to fill in my name, I’m less anonymous than I appear to be, dangit
RMMD: Once, when I was waiting for the Doctor an older man who was also waiting was talking to someone.
He quips “We need patience while we wait, that’s why they call us Patients.”
That always stuck with me.
On yesterday’s “Intelligent Life”, I realized, maybe a little too late. That the driver of the car “Skip?” gave the goggle eyes of horror towards the bald guy’s comment. Then I realized, “Is that the joke, that what he said is SUPPOSED to be stupid and pointless, that it shocked the other guy? Was this the intended humour of this stupid comic the entire time, that they’re losers who ask lame questions?”
I genuinely thought that Rex and June were sitting His ‘n’ Hers matching wheelchairs in panel one.
Which would go well with their matching, shiny hair helmets. Is that… nice?
Panel 3 is my favorite this week. The genuine despair in Rex’s eyes as he makes his one wish, “I just hope they call my name soon,” like there’s no other way to end his suffering. Genuinely
hilariousmoving.@Lawyerbob: COTW nomination
Don’t you lie, Rex Morgan narration box. June is very much checked out.
Since Rex is one of the few people in his own strip who dresses like a normal person in 2026, I’m hoping he gets to wear comically hipster glasses after this. Horn rims or pince-nez, please!
***
“Oh. That’s right. You wouldn’t know. The entire family is ashamed of you so we cut you out completely, we even changed all of our numbers which is why you had to show up without calling first.”
JP: I believe that as a parolee, Ann is required to not associate with known felons, like, you know, Judge Parker Sr., but maybe it’s for the best. Once she learns that her brother went missing searching for his assassin wife; that her felon father is a hopeless, bitter alcoholic; that her step-mom is a useless enabler; and that her too-old-for-her-years niece’s upbringing has been farmed out to an aimless trust fund kid, Ann will probably welcome a return to the structure and stability of prison life.
DtM: Sorry, kid. You’re too young to work here but thanks for asking. Have a cookie.
Cut!
Nice, but let’s try it again and add some rage.
JP: Was Katherine created in grace and free from sin? She gets younger looking in every panel.
@Lauralot re: RMMD (or, “Rammed,” as I pronounce it): It’s clear that Terry Beatty’s mission statement is to only feature the boring parts. It’s like a black hole of boring and we’re stuck on the event horizon.
Otherwise, would like to call attention to The Legend of Bill, which, through a convoluted story about the silly lead character and some teleportation disks, has been doing a grand tour of some comic strips this week. The previous tour was last August. https://www.seattletimes.com/comics-king/?feature_id=legend-of-bill
RMMD: Is there anything more dull than sitting in a waiting room?
Try reading the current Crankshaft “story”.
Dustin: This strip is making me sympathize with Rex and June’s attitude towards sex. See also 9CL most days of the week.
RMMD: June may have said “No dogs, no kids,” but in her mind she added “Husband out of the picture” as well. Unrestrained delight!
“Rex?”
“Right here.”
“Oh, no, sir, not you. Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex? Arm lengthening surgery?”
“Yo.”
Hours pass.
“Rex?”
“That’s me.”
“Oh, no, sorry sir, I mean this beagle here, Rex. Neutering?”
“Arf!”
Hours pass.
“Rex?”
“Yes. Right here.”
“Nope. The band T. Rex, here for tinnitus assessment?”
“That’s us, mate.”
Hours pass.
“Rex?”
“yes”
“Clinic’s closed, come back tomorrow.”
Phantom:
“That’s got to be Jungle Patrol! — they’re flying in the exact opposite direction from the direction in which they see us running!”
DT: This hotel cleaner is quite the shrinking violet, isn’t she? Has she never seen a penis before, or is Mr. Mirror packing a choad of such magnitude it renders her awestruck?
“Everything happened so fast”. This is the first time anyone has ever said that about “Judge Parker”
JP: Katherine’s self-righteous indignation has hit new highs today. “Oh that’s right, you’ve been too busy paying your debt to society and being treated like you don’t exist by your relatives to bother to keep track of everything we’ve been going through. God, you are so selfish sometimes!”
RMMD: I forget which episode it was, but Mystery Science Theater 3000 had a bit during a bad spy movie where they would sing a James Bond riff to the mundane actions of the protagonist. I’ve been thinking of that a lot during this latest Rex Morgan adventure. (Sitting in a waiting room! BA-DA-BA-DAAAAAA!)