Downer Saturday
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Mary Worth, 3/21/26
“My heart … my delicate heart … too weak to fly to see my injured beloved. Time to heal myself using the best technique known to man: taking a pill and then tucking into an enormous bowl of hearty chili. It’s an old family recipe: you cook a pound and a half of ground beef, add barbecue sauce and exactly two beans, and serve!”
Blondie, 3/21/26
“Yeah, it turns out that every day of the year — every moment, really — is a crushing, depressing chore. But at least there’s death waiting for us, right? At least there’s death. [suddenly remembers he’s a character in a long-running comic strip who hasn’t aged appreciably in nearly a century] oh NO”
19 replies to “Downer Saturday”
Blondie-Wow. I had no idea that ‘Blondie’ turned into ‘Pluggers’.
FC-“Those aren’t the cookies I’m interested in,” Daddy says.
MW-“So I will take the train to you.”
MW-Harv3y, maybe you should ask Trixie for money to fix your broken heart.
MW:
“I’m not sure I should be swallowing this suppository! Oh, well — bottoms up! So to speak.”
Zits. They were doing a good job of no longer portraying his parents as Boomers who should be in their 70s for a while but today the cartoonists forgot and gave us references to Red Skelton and Bullwinkle. Should’ve been Sinbad and Stimpy.
MW:
“This will be great practice for when Trixie arrives and I have c to take lots of blue pills!”
MW: Figures a guy wearing an ascot would have two tiny ice cubes in his drink shaped like miniature diamonds.
MW:
Whatever is in that bowl is as thick abd viscous as the Great Red Spot of Jupiter.
MW: “I’d visit you in a heartbeat, Trixie…but I have a bad heart, heh, heh. See what I did there. I have another one about travel and itchy feet but I better keep that one to myself.”
Blondie:
“Now, does Tootsie get as upset as you about the passage of the four seasons, Herb?”
“Nope. Big girls don’t cry. And don’t slump your shoulders about it, Dagwood. Walk like a man!”
MW — “My angina is not yet stable” is going to be my new go-to excuse for not completing an unwelcome chore. Never thought I would write this, but Thanks, Mary Worth!
RMMD … and the answer to “how many in-person diner customers makes the difference between opening and not opening” in the Morganverse is (drum roll!) two! It takes two customers to make it worthwhile to employ another person! Those must be some pretty expensive breakfasts, or the town is still operating with a 1950s 1$ minimum wage
JP Well, the video explained nothing, but on the bright side at least they managed to do it in only one week.
MW: I’d visit you in a heartbeat… although my angina means “a heartbeat” isn’t exactly a stable measurement of time.
Mary Worth: Wow, so is this the “boy kibble” we’ve been hearing about? It really is pretty grim. I think our friend needs to find a new wife right away, no matter what! As a comedian from his era probably said, “Sure, she’s scamming me and I gave her all my money — but what am I going to do, stay single?”
Blondie: “It’s finally warm, the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing… man, life sucks!”
Hi and Lois: Chip is sleeping in algebra class again. He may be having a great dream, but it’ll be a rude awakening when the teacher dumps a bucket of snow onto his head.
MW: “Also, because of your injury, Trixie, your VAGINA is not yet ABLE.”
@Bono Vix: re Zits: I think Zits is in reruns now, so maybe they really were Boomers when this first appeared.
@CanuckDownSouth: On JP – No no, it did explain one thing; Randy and April have a lot more ‘splodin and murderin’ to do before they can come home (they won’t be coming home), and Bogdan’s sudden interest in Charlotte means he’s going to spirit her away to join her parents to learn the family business.
FG I know it’s a genre trope, but geez, Ming’s doing one right off of that early-internet Evil Overlord List – “If I am ever the Evil Overlord and one of the Hero’s allies are captured, I will not use brainwashing (magical, medical, or other) to turn the ally into my tool to then attack and destroy the Hero. I will quickly, efficiently, and verifiably in my presence have the ally killed. At most, I will keep the ally’s preserved head in my office to intimidate the Hero is s/he ever gets there”
Phantom:
To while away idle time in the jungle, a young Worubu decides to “Do the Freddy” — with violent results.
Rex Morgan: Mae Mae had better get rediscovered by Hollywood soon, because it turns out she’s a terrible waitress.
MW: Personally I would have guessed “grape nuts” rather than “chili”. Are grape nuts still out there, in the old people section of the grocery store? I remember my bafflement as a kid at the blatant false advertising in the name of that cereal, which contains neither grapes nor nuts, nor in any way recalls either of those two delicious things, but would be more accurately called “bran brambles.”