Metapost: Your comments, the comments you love and crave
Post Content
It’s here! The comment of the week! Enjoy it!
“Garfield, you fool! Never accept food or drink from the Fair Folk! Now you must spend 1,000 Mondays beneath the brugh, dancing the accursed reels of the Unseelie! There will not be any lasagna!” –Navigator
And your runners up! Very funny!
“The strip has drifted so far from its original intended audience that now we celebrate woke pluggers who refuse to use toxic herbicides.” –Hibbleton
“Is there a word for the disorientation one feels when looking at crudely drawn people about to tuck into photorealistic food? I’m thinking something from German.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“[Deep breath] According to Catholic theologian and philosopher John F. Haught, mystery emerges from the profound experience of simultaneously butting up against unanswerable ‘limit questions’ arising from such fields as science, ethics, criticism, politics, and logic and experiencing some deep, inexhaustible ineffable power promising us a hope-filled future. [Exhale] In Rex Morgan, M.D., mystery arises from the big GO AWAY I’M RETIRED sign on a Hollywood star’s mansion. God lives in the future, the star serves coffee. It’s really the same, if you stop to think about it.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Is it just me, or is the second panel of RMMD just the first panel but zoomed in? Did all the effort go into drawing the camera? Come on, man, have some dignity.” –Austria
“I am the 1970s Excitement Fairy! I hope you like disco and cocaine!” –Voshkod
“Biz is just trying desperately to get comfortable, since he somehow put on shorts without a tail hole.” –MKay
“Good news: the writer of Shoe remembered that his characters are birds and have feathers. Bad news: it’s over — and I mean, really, really over — for twerking. There’s no coming back from this.” –Joe Blevins
“Mr. President, two of the unaccounted-for clones have survived, and made contact with the Original Luann! I’m not sure we can keep a lid on ‘Operation Why God?’ for much longer!” –A Grave Mind
“Actually, his father invented something much more important than uniforms to the Funkyverse: the last panel pun that’s not really a pun but just the same word with the same meaning.” –Schroduck
“No, Tommy, don’t say you can’t swim just before an outing to Chekhov Beach…” –But What Do I Know?
“Finally we learn the story behind Harry’s pathological obsession with selling candy to pay for high school band uniforms: in order to live up to his father’s legacy, he bought the entire class tailor-made uniforms every year. Bespoke clothing doesn’t come cheap, so if all of Westview had to get type 2 diabetes to soothe his daddy issues, well, that was a price he was willing to pay.” –Vulpes
“OMG cartoonists, those shirts are fantastic, please do this in every comic to label every character! Even the major ones! I’d love to never have to remember the name of Dustin’s dad!” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Blondie’s face has the exact same expression in all three panels, and I think it’s great!
Panel 1: Her smile conveys polite, professional interest.
Panel 2: That same smile is friendly and inquisitive. She feels closer to her clients than before!
Panel 3: Blondie’s smile is now frozen on her face in horror! These alleged surfers don’t have money! It’s the worst thing that could happen to her.” –Victor Von“Are you marketing executives? Because you just invented some names for products related to a specific theme, but you have given no practical information on how these products should be made.” –Ettorre
“Maybe Blondie started her catering business because she thinks of herself as a high-end chef who likes to experiment with interesting and potentially dangerous flavor combinations, like those wasabi waffles. Meanwhile, Dagwood’s tastes are far more pedestrian. He prefers foods like ham, pot roast, pizza, diner chili, midnight leftovers, and of course, sandwiches of size. Meanwhile, his favorite seasonings are salt, more salt, ‘pass the salt, please,’ and, for a thrill, three slices of pepper jack.” –BigTed
“I live in Kansas City. The music scene here would eat Loon alive, with really good barbecue sauce.” –Basil Wishbone
“Notice how the gorilla in the background is holding its hand to its head as psychics are often depicted in comics. Clearly the implication is that the gorillas in this sanctuary are all actually telepathically threatening and controlling the owners of the place to carry out their schemes. The son desperately wants to warn Mark, but one of the Silverbacks make sure he can be seen and thus the consequences of challenging the new world order known.” –ectojazzmage
Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!


7 replies to “Metapost: Your comments, the comments you love and crave”
Congrats, COTW-ers!
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja!
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 1
BigTed
June 13th, 2026 at 4:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I used to think I’d never get this life thing right. When I was a kid, I had a hard time… I was bullied a lot.” “That’s rough. Have you tried drugs?”
Bob Tice
June 13th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I was bullied a lot. They made fun of my hair.”
“Go figure.”
TheDiva
June 13th, 2026 at 6:24 am Reply
Judge Parker: “I’ll never forget you, Renee!”
“Reena!”
“Whatever…”
Victor Von
June 13th, 2026 at 6:52 am Reply
Mary Worth: What’s Tommy looking at? In both panels, he’s looking directly behind Dawn, not at Dawn. Either he’s misinterpreted the concept of eye contact, or there’s a big bug on the back of her head.
Fingers crossed that Tommy’s been talking to the bug the whole time!
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
June 13th, 2026 at 7:53 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Don’t just try. Promise me next time you walk down the block, you’ll wear pants. We’re never really alone.”
Horace Broon
June 13th, 2026 at 9:53 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “I guess my life hasn’t been ordinary either — you may have got a cartoon series, turned the Mirakle Method into something that’s probably not a scam any more, and be dating a waitress who’s actually a movie star, but I got very sick one time, wrote a song about a motel, and I’m dating a waitress who’s actually a waitress!”
BigTed
June 14th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
Hägar the Horrible: I enjoy the fact that when Hägar snores, he makes nonsense sounds running the gamut from a Polish word made famous by Mad magazine (“potrzebie”) to the famously edible creatures from Li’l Abner (“Shmoo”) to, for some reason, the Convention on the International Regulations for Preventing Collisions at Sea (“COLREGS”). He might be dreaming about slaughtering the innocent so his family can have a free supper, but he sure sounds funny while he’s doing it!
Ettorre
June 14th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
Pluggers: I think everyone is grateful that Pluggers are bad at spreading their seed.
But What Do I Know?
June 14th, 2026 at 6:03 am Reply
Hägar the Horrible: An empty stomach has no conscience, but apparently it knows quite a few languages…
TheDiva
June 14th, 2026 at 7:57 am Reply
Hägar the Horrible: That’s a pretty loquacious stomach, which explains the horrified expressions on Hägar’s family. His appetite has gained sentience, and will soon enslave them all. It happened in Blondie, and it’s happening to them.
Joe Blevins
June 14th, 2026 at 8:40 am Reply
Pluggers: “You’re a plugger if you sometimes just stand in mute horror, a (heavy) bag of grass seed perched on your (dislocated) shoulder, wondering why you ever bother doing anything since all your efforts are doomed to abject failure by a cruel God who created you just to mock you for His own amusement.”
Little Blue Bicycle
June 14th, 2026 at 9:14 am Reply
Mary Worth: Dawn and Tommy are really mastering kindergarten skills. Making friends today, numbers next week, the alphabet by Christmas.
The Man With The Plan
June 14th, 2026 at 9:30 am Reply
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if even Mother Nature has it out for you.
Horace Broon
June 14th, 2026 at 12:12 pm Reply
Hägar the Horrible: All those references to other strips in the baffling throwaway panels, and no “QLUNQ!”? I’m disappointed.
Admittedly, it’s not a sound I can imagine a stomach making, but neither’s the “ZOT!” of an anteater’s tongue.
Gil Bates
June 15th, 2026 at 4:35 am Reply
Garfield: Why is the Excitement Fairy wearing knee pads… ooooooohhhh.
Ettorre
June 15th, 2026 at 5:09 am Reply
Garfield: Will the Excitement Fairy provide antidepressants if coffee doesn’t do the trick? Or cocaine?
Ukulele Ike
June 15th, 2026 at 5:38 am Reply
Phantom: I understand that there is a terrific rivalry between the Gravelines and Boomsby Prison shuffleboard teams.
2+2=7
June 15th, 2026 at 6:17 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “I was famous. I’m just a regular person now who does regular person things like sign autographs and pose for pics for strangers and live out of motels that I then have the money to buy outright. I quit because I hate the attention, which I had no problem leveraging to ‘save’ my friends motel and to get people to swoon all over me at the expense of jobs efficiency. Besides I work at the cafe now, because normal people work tiring, menial, low-wage jobs even if they have the means to make their dreams come true and do anything else. Good thing you guys are just as lazy as I am and didn’t come by for the big rush at breakfast, eh? Boy that would have been some interesting b-roll, eh, as people wait out the door for hours of this small, one-star cafe attached to a dumpy motel in the middle of nowhere just to have ‘non-famous-person’, me, serve them runny eggs and cold stale biscuits as is totally normal and typical. Anyway time to return to the motel room I live out off and might possibly own, because that’s just what ordinary folks with no extenuating circumstances do!”
Vulpes
June 15th, 2026 at 6:24 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Look, I don’t want to get anyone too unnecessarily excited here, but take a look at the cameraman in panel one. Could that be beloved Rex Morgan nemesis Rene Belluso? If it is, is he finally on the straight and narrow working in local news? Will covering this incident make him relapse as his scammer’s instincts play the angles of a wealthy actress who’s wasteful enough with her money to invest in a failing motel?
Voshkod
June 15th, 2026 at 6:43 am Reply
Garfield: “I am the 1970s Excitement Fairy! I hope you like disco and cocaine!”
The Rambling Otter
June 15th, 2026 at 6:50 am Reply
Garfield: I’m grateful this is the one Garfield-Monday where the “SPLUT!” sound effect isn’t used.
Ukranazi Stepan
June 15th, 2026 at 6:54 am Reply
Flylock Socks: The answer is that Kackles is obviously a jackal or a coyote, not any of the four species of hyena, and *especially* not the spotted hyena, the only one that “laughs”, so he’s an imposter and Slylock has legal grounds to lock him away.
richardf8
June 15th, 2026 at 8:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: Congratulations Tommy! You got straight to fifth base with Dawn, i.e Friend Zoned without first doing anything that will get you on antibiotics!
Joe Blevins
June 15th, 2026 at 8:45 am Reply
Garfield: “I am the Excitement Fairy! The brain trust at Paws, Inc. decided this strip needed its own Garbage Ape, so they invented me! I have no idea what they have planned for me, though it worries me somewhat that they’ve given me kneepads. WHY DO I NEED KNEEPADS?”
Anonymous
June 16th, 2026 at 4:42 am Reply
Luann : …yeah, this is Camp Skye’s equivalent of the diabetic cabin, where the counselors also share the campers’ handicap, but for Luann’s “inner beauty” or “special needs” or whatever euphemism we’re using this week.
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 2
The Rambling Otter
June 16th, 2026 at 7:43 am Reply
Gil Thorp: “Make room for Jesus!”
When you’re eating, you’re eating with Jesus.
When you’re walking, you’re walking alongside Jesus.
When you’re having sex with your loved one, you’re also having sex with Jesus.
Wait, what?
Banana Jr. 6000
June 16th, 2026 at 7:43 am Reply
“Homoerotic senior avian rituals” and “Elastic waterproof panty covers for bed wetting” are two phrases I did not expect to encounter today.
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
June 16th, 2026 at 7:44 am Reply
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – I suppose someone back at the station is going to have to edit out the “Shut the fuck up, Doug!” from the footage.
ectojazzmage
June 16th, 2026 at 7:48 am Reply
Bizarro: *the lion is handed an envelope with an antelope sticker on it* Hahaha, bet you guys thought I was gonna kill a real antelope or something for this bit! C’mon, man! We’re civilized here. Oh, by the way, once my speech is over they’ll be bringing the zebras in for dinner. Dibs on the foals.
Joe Blevins
June 16th, 2026 at 7:49 am Reply
Gil Thorp: So imagine if this were the first Gil Thorp you’d ever seen and you were trying to figure out what this strip is about. My guess, based solely on this episode: a ventriloquist and his dummy who chaperone ghost proms.
A Grave Mind
June 17th, 2026 at 4:31 am Reply
Luann: “Mr. President, two of the unaccounted-for clones have survived, and made contact with the Original Luann! I’m not sure we can keep a lid on ‘Operation Why God?’ for much longer!”
Gil Bates
June 17th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
Mary Worth: Meanwhile in NYC, Olive’s tummy brain floats a premonition in the air: save Tommy from drowning! She desperately telepathically contacts her marine mammal pals to be vigilant on breakers patrol!
Charterstone: Dune
June 17th, 2026 at 5:05 am Reply
Pluggers have blotted out the memory of that hobo they killed for the fun of it and hid in a storage locker three towns over.
ValdVin
June 17th, 2026 at 6:39 am Reply
Pluggers often forget to undo the consensual handcuffs, or that they even have them. You let them be the dom at your own risk.
TheDiva
June 17th, 2026 at 7:17 am Reply
Dustin: Dustdad makes Lionel Hutz look like Clarence Darrow.
A Grave Mind
June 18th, 2026 at 4:31 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “Seriously, we’re standing in a restaurant right now. Do you know how sad Doug’s Sad Face is gonna be after this? Pretty goddamn sad!”
Dennis Jimenez
June 18th, 2026 at 4:39 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Has-Been lives in Shitty Little Town – film at eleven…
MKay
June 18th, 2026 at 4:56 am Reply
Mary Worth: I don’t recall much about Brandy’s personality, but imagine the horror of coming back and finding that you’ve been replaced by Dawn Weston.
Rosstifer
June 18th, 2026 at 6:25 am Reply
Blondie: You can tell that these surfers are men because of their bulbous noses and horrible neck folds.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 17th, 2026 at 2:33 pm Reply
Mary Worth: The good news: Tommy doesn’t smell like Charterstone.
The bad news: He does sort of smell like cat pee.
The Mighty Finn
June 18th, 2026 at 6:37 am Reply
Rex Morgan: I sincerely hope that reporter goes back to the newsroom with her lame Lorna/Mae-Mae story and the editor tells her it’s already been cut for time.
treetown
June 18th, 2026 at 7:31 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Later back in the editing booth. They’ll include the recommendation from Mae Mae to go elsewhere spinning the story with headline “Lorna Starr now working at a diner where she can’t recommend.”
Phantom: Nomad “You’re dead, your families are dead, and your pets are dead.” Admiral “ Lighten up Francis”
The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers
June 18th, 2026 at 10:19 am Reply
Blondie: These idiots don’t know that the cocaine goes under the nose, not on top of it.
cheech wizard
June 18th, 2026 at 10:25 am Reply
Mary Worth: All Mary Worth stories involve the characters learning important life lessons. In Tommy’s case he’s going to learn, after several months with Dawn, that some things are worse than a methadone addiction.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 18th, 2026 at 1:15 pm Reply
Gil Thorp: Further proof that Milford is a very small town: When the kids want to get high between dances at prom, the only thing they can get their hands on is Elmer’s Carpenter Wood Glue.
Abram Beazer
June 18th, 2026 at 9:11 pm Reply
Blondie: The tepid reaction to this strip has scuttled the syndicate’s plan to spin these boys off into their own feature: “Jack & Trevor”, a lighthearted yet heartfelt look at the lives of two newlyweds both diagnosed with Wrinkly Clavicle Syndrome.
Bob Tice
June 19th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
Mark Trail: “Okay, Mr. Trail, a little off-topic, but why is it that you seem to look like Bogey from ‘The African Queen’ on acid?”
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
June 19th, 2026 at 5:28 am Reply
Mark Trail: “So you’re saying that if I write you a sufficiently large check, your mother will keep my father…busy, and I won’t have to listen to him complain about how horny he is? How many zeroes did you need?”
Basil Wishbone
June 19th, 2026 at 5:35 am Reply
Shoe: I live in Kansas City. The music scene here would eat Loon alive, with really good barbecue sauce.
Tabby Lavalamp
June 19th, 2026 at 5:54 am Reply
Short sleeves and a bow tie? Weird hair that no young person would actually have? Are we sure this “gorilla sanctuary” isn’t a cover-up for a captive breeding program between Crankshaft and Rex Morgan, M.D.?
Anonymous
June 19th, 2026 at 6:16 am Reply
Heathcliff would really like you to believe that he’s not dressed like a giant turd today.
TheDiva
June 19th, 2026 at 6:50 am Reply
Mark Trail: In today’s panel three, the role of Mark Trail will be played by an Easter Island statue.
Shadow COTW
——————
pugfuggly
June 19th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
Shoe: Kinda beside the point but can you imagine sitting in a diner and some rando walks in with a guitar, sits down at the counter and starts singing? I would cringe so hard my face would invert.
Way to go, Navigator, and to the floaters and shadowers. Thanks, Baja, and I see we have similar tastes in snark since some of the shadows are also scrotes:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
The Quiet Man
June 13th, 2026 at 5:10 am Reply
Luann: The postal service at Camp Whereversville must have access to teleportation technology, if this whole exchange is taking place before the damn camp has even started!
Luann 2: I learned mosquitoes EAT campers! I have to man a gunnery platform for 8 hours a week to make sure they don’t carry any campers away to their hideous lair filled with the drained corpses of their previous victims!
Oh, and there was some other stuff about how to safely administer CPR and listening to campers who say they have food allergies, but I wasn’t really paying attention…
CanuckDownSouth
June 13th, 2026 at 4:59 am Reply
Luann While I admit those are the type of crafts made at many camps, they definitely don’t need much practice. Unless you’re Luann, who apparently failed “scissors and glue” in elementary school.
MW “Yeah Dawn, I’ll *try* to remember that because, wow, you’re the first person to *ever* tell me we’re not alone in *all* of my substance abuse recovery including the people who got me into the bible what with their huge emphasis on a personal / friend relationship with Jesus even when you’re alone ‘in the world’ … suuurrrre”
Brigman is *nailing* sarcastic expression in P2 today!
MKay
June 13th, 2026 at 5:18 am Reply
MW: The Mary mind-meld appears complete. Mary has a healthy new body and Dawn will never notice a thing. Carry on.
Hibbleton
June 13th, 2026 at 6:04 am Reply
MW: “I’ll try to remember that..” is exactly the thing you’d say when you’ve already forgotten what the other person is blathering on about.
Maltmash3r
June 13th, 2026 at 6:14 am Reply
MW- you’re telling your life story to an ex-druggie who has obkect permanence issues. Your last “boyfriend” had control issues and dominated you. You’ve dated almost every male in town including teachers, exchange students and “Jared????”.
When exactly did you figure life out?
pugfuggly
June 13th, 2026 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: If I didn’t know that Tommy was a big dumb puppy dog, I’d assume that he was being sarcastic in that last panel. “We’re not alone? Wow, I’ll try to remember that. Very wise, so original. No really, let’s stop at this tattoo shop so I can have that written across my bicep…”
J.J. O’Malley
June 13th, 2026 at 4:51 am Reply
MW: “I’ll try to remember that, Dawn. Problem is, I have no friends.”
Victor Von
June 13th, 2026 at 6:52 am Reply
Mary Worth: What’s Tommy looking at? In both panels, he’s looking directly behind Dawn, not at Dawn. Either he’s misinterpreted the concept of eye contact, or there’s a big bug on the back of her head.
Fingers crossed that Tommy’s been talking to the bug the whole time!
Tabby Lavalamp
June 13th, 2026 at 6:53 am Reply
You’re in for it now, Tommy. Dawn learned trite platitudes from the grand master. If Worth-sensei is grooming young Weston to be her successor you may end up becoming the sexless paramour forced to listen to endless boring recaps of the lives of people you couldn’t give any less of a shit about.
Bob Tice
June 13th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
MW:
“I was bullied a lot. They made fun of my hair.”
“Go figure.”
TK
June 13th, 2026 at 5:29 am Reply
Tommy is looking like being alone is starting to sound better and better after spending a coupla hours with this ditz.
BigTed
June 13th, 2026 at 4:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I used to think I’d never get this life thing right. When I was a kid, I had a hard time… I was bullied a lot.” “That’s rough. Have you tried drugs?”
Rex Morgan: “What do you say we get some recording done, so you can get out of here to go boff your new girlfriend?” “Heck, why does any guy make any kind of music ever? It’s all for the boffing!”
Horace Broon
June 13th, 2026 at 9:53 am Reply
RMMD: “I guess my life hasn’t been ordinary either — you may have got a cartoon series, turned the Mirakle Method into something that’s probably not a scam any more, and be dating a waitress who’s actually a movie star, but I got very sick one time, wrote a song about a motel, and I’m dating a waitress who’s actually a waitress!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Baja Gaijin
June 13th, 2026 at 5:51 am Reply
Mark Trail: Seeing Mark’s surprised expression, Dreama’s son gave him his Christmas goose half a year early
ValdVin
June 13th, 2026 at 6:02 am Reply
FC: Dolly weighs in on the Why are there two Dakotas? controversy. Which of her commie teachers has awakened the sleeper agent in her?
Hibbleton
June 13th, 2026 at 6:30 am Reply
FC: In a show of devotion to his beloved sister, Jeffy shits himself to distract their parents from Dolly’s blasphemous loyalty oath.
Little Blue Bicycle
June 13th, 2026 at 7:47 am Reply
GT: “A local photographer had a seizure and died at the Milford Prom last night. Sources say that no one noticed Arnold Kovack, age 67, for two hours after his death, due to a controversy over whether to speak to Keri “Peanut” Thorp. This is WDIG.”
Ukulele Ike
June 13th, 2026 at 7:54 am Reply
GT: How sweet. Second panel couple is headed straight to their wedding right after the prom.