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Momma, 12/14/12

I was trying to figure out a “Francis is secretly blowing people for money down at the bus station” joke here, but then decided that wouldn’t be true to his character. Not because he’s unshakably heterosexual or anything, but because he’s notoriously lazy. Francis doesn’t do anything with the word the “job” in it, and fellatio takes a dedication to craft and an interest in other people that he’s simply never demonstrated.

Pluggers, 12/14/12

The first rule of senior plugger fight club is: you do not talk about senior plugger fight club, because the details are all hazy, because of the encroaching senility.

Judge Parker, 12/14/12

“When I married your father, and you were 12 and I was 15, I thought, ‘I can’t wait to see that young man walk down the aisle.’ That isn’t creepy at all!”