Notice how far away Henry is standing. He wants no part of this
Post Content
Dennis the Menace, 9/24/24
Despite being a resident of California for more than a decade, I’m not a woo-woo person who talks about a situation’s “energy” much, but the closest I get is when I talk about doing standup comedy. The great and terrible thing about performing comedy live is that you can absolutely tell, in an immediate and visceral way, whether people are having a good time: a polite laugh is immediately obvious in a way that polite applause is not. And when you bomb on stage, it is a terrible and physical sensation: the term “flop sweat” is, for me at least, not a metaphor. Anyway, this is all to say that Dennis is very much bombing here; the guys down at the hardware store have zero patience for his bullshit little jokes, but it’s also clear that he’s blissfully unaware of this. Having no radar for how your performance is landing with an audience is almost certainly a type of sociopathy, and demonstrates what a true menace this young man is.
Hi and Lois, 9/24/24
Really love Lois’s gobsmacked expression in panel one here. “Holy SHIT! You bought bungee cords? You exchanged money for bungee cords? You got cords that consist of an elastic strand core covered by woven polypropylene? And you’re going to use it to secure the garbage can lids? Our garbage can lids? The lids to the cans where we put all our garbage? With fucking bungee cords? I never thought I’d live to see the day. May such wonders never cease.”
115 replies to “Notice how far away Henry is standing. He wants no part of this”
Curtis: That’s silly, Barry. “Smart” isn’t bad if it’s “Plugger Smart” or “Inner Beauty Smart”.
Family Circus Mashup
H&L. Meta: I think Lois is somewhat disappointed that her first thought that they were a bedroom accessory was incorrect.
Luann: With Stef, on the other hand…
DtM: Sorry, Dennis, but you’re no Bob Tice or Ukulele Ike. If anything, you should be grateful you’re not being sent to BOARDing school for how much of an annoyance you are.
H&L: Now, Josh, Lois is still incredulous about the fact that Hi even knows the word “bungee” since he doesn’t know that slippers exist. She should be lucky he knows how to wipe his ass without her helping him.
MW: “Why couldn’t Ed just turn off his emotions like a normal person and come to the dinner party after he was done throwing those dogs in the incinerator? Doesn’t he know how embarrassing it was for me to not shove him in Pam’s face so she could die of jealousy?”
MW:
Guy started a joke
Which started this ol’ girl crying
Oh, if I’d only seen
That the joke was on me, oh no
I started to cry
Which started this ol’ girl gasping
Oh, if I’d only seen
That the joke was on me
I looked half-surprised
Holding my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of cred, hurting my head
From things that I dread
‘Til I finally sighed
Which started this whole misgiving
Oh, if I’d only seen
That the joke was on me
I looked half-surprised
Holding my hands over my eyes
Then I fell out of cred, hurting my head
From things that I dread
‘Til I finally sighed
Which started this whole misgiving
Oh, if I’d only seen
That the joke was on me, oh, no
That the joke was on me-e-e-e
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
@Needless Exposition:
“We hear there’s an expression at your school, kid, which explains what it is about your attitude that causes you not to be doing so well there.”
“Really? What is it, Mister?”
” ‘Bored‘ of education’ !”
Six Chix – Isn’t this the Chix that only recently was fucking a sandwich until it ran off with avocado toast? Given that, I’m not sure Chix lamenting affording groceries means she’s hungry or looking for food prostitutes.
H&L: Would’ve been better with the Raccoon replaced by Thirsty with the same hangdog expression. It would make no sense but at this point the strip can use all the whimsy it can get.
DtM: “Look, Mister. A hundred dollars is a hundred dollars but when you said ‘work him over’ we expected someone much older.”
@Bob Tice: You never disappoint, Bob.
MW: See Stell harp. Harp, Stell, harp. Run, Ed, run. Run fast, run far.
RMMD: Truck is SO relieved to have a manly malady. Good thing he wasn’t diagnosed with Knitter’s Knuckle.
9CL: Get real, twins! Mummy has spent your entire lives preening herself and wiping Daddy’s worshipful slobber from her body parts. Did you block it out in self-defense?
DtM: Henry is berating himself for not ditching The Menace in Home Depot long before this.
In the words of the legendary J. Nebus ….. Has the Hi and Lois artist ever seen a raccoon? He*s cute, but much too sharp.
DtM: Wow, look at those wooden expressions!
HnL: Don’t be surprised when you wake up to find all those bungee cords mysteriously severed.
@Baja Gaijin: At least it wasn’t Wilbur…
H&L: Hi’s gotta do something to protect his antique galvanized steel garbage cans.
MW: Estelle realizes that she can ensure Ed’s social calendar is clear from now on. All it takes is one syringe and some sodium pentathol….
Frazz: Don’t you have barf to cover up with sawdust, Frazz? The kid doesn’t need your “help.”
Luann: I don’t know if I’m prepared for the hilarity that will ensue.
CS: I’m sure this revisiting of an old story will elegantly tie in to the themes Batiuk is shooting for here. Also, I see Davis couldn’t be arsed to put a ten-letter gibberish name to at least hint that Crankshaft’s name was on the roster. He did sneak in an ad for his favorite KY Jelly, though.
Luann: Gee, too bad one of you ‘nice’ young ladies couldn’t step up once in a while and give Dez YOUR bed so she could get a comfortable night’s sleep. It’s not like one of you ALSO has a boyfriend (in the loosest possible sense of the word) you could be spending the night with to free up some space. If only one of you had 24/7 access to a place with lots and lots of bedrooms! What is such a place called again? A chateau? Hacienda? Dang it, it’s right on the tip of my tongue…
JP: Geez, first spending a whole week sitting in a diner, now we’re gonna get a whole week sitting in the car. At this rate, Spring will come to Cavelton before the Bobbsey Twins here reach the doorbell.
“Dennis the Menace” works for the unity of Americans! You might be a Wasp middle class man like Dennis’s dad or you might be an ethnic working-class man like those two, but what unites you all across ethnic and class divides is the common belief that Dennis is a turd
DtM – “Get comfortable, guys. I’ve got a ten-minute set to LUMBER through before they give me the light.”
From what we know about Hi, a depressed racoon might be his spirit animal
Zits: Stop trying to make Radish happen, Jeremy.
FC: Dolly wonders if she can waterboard Jeffy in a puddle.
MW: So, this cousin to whom Estelle was estranged decided to put together an elaborate dinner at the least minute for someone she barely knows thanks to said estrangement? It’s still one of the least baffling elements of this story.
H&L: Is it just me, or does the raccoon look like it belongs in a Slylock Fox strip? Has the long-foretold animal revolution begun?
Slylick Fox and Comix For Kinx: In #1, Frank Nelson dog is apologizing for seating the cat under the basketball net, in #2 he’s stealing her bracelet.
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat # 53,692.
H&L: Like a raccoon couldn’t chew through those bungee cords in a few minutes. They also have grasping hands.
MW:
“Not only did Ed embarrass me in front of my cousin Pam, he embarrassed me in front of all of the family that I previously described Pam as visiting on her trip — including my mother’s sister, who embraces the philosophy that the Church of England should continue to receive patronage from the British government. So I’m going to insist that Ed apologize personally to Aunty Disestablishmentarianism!”
H&L – I just assumed Lois was on Team Trash Panda!
@Ken: H&L: Is it just me, or does the raccoon look like it belongs in a Slylock Fox strip? Has the long-foretold animal revolution begun?
_______________
The guy in Mort Walker Industries research has reported that squirrel criticism is good for business and are actively trying to poke a similar raccoon post out of CC’s.own J.Nebus.
DtM: Dennis is about to play Lumberyard Jenga, and the carnage will be sweet.
Hi & Lois : Abercrombie & Fitch aren’t going to enjoy the extra work of undoing those bungee cords, and are just going to stop picking up your trash, Hi (they’ll still take your money, though).
…Hey, if Hi makes FRIENDS with the raccoons, they can remove all the Flagston’s trash from the can, and we never have to
see that character that confuses everyone because he’s just Thirsty in a different outfit!deal with those kinda unfunny “garbagemen are weird” strips again!DTM: “Yes, and they involve spanking.”
H&L: Presumably the cartoonist recently bumped into one of his neighbors at the assisted-living facility IRL, who told him a story about their children using bungee cords on their trash bins, and the cartoonist reacted with precisely Lois’s expression. And clearly the cartoonist has not been around household trash bins in decades, if that’s what he thinks they look like.
9CL: This is all information that the twins have heard from their mother every day of their lives. Have they had a Memento-style head injury?
DtM: “Sure, Dennis: think of this as a kind of game. Anyhow, go play your games on the construction site with Mr Foreman and we’ll see you again when you’re 18.”
H&L: In the first draft of this strip it was Thirsty that was giving that hang-dog expression in the second panel, but the editor decided that that was a little too sad.
Dennis the Menace – Joker: Folie à Dennis
Hi and Lois – The raccoon will remember this when the Slylockalpyse comes for the Walker Brown Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC Universe.
@Weaselboy: DtM – “Get comfortable, guys. I’ve got a ten-minute set to LUMBER through before they give me the light.
______________
“Someone get the hook and PLANK this kid off the stage!”
Hi and Lois get sued after Fitch loses an eye trying to get to their garbage. Yes, today I went to Wikipedia to look up the names of The Flagston’s garbage men, a new low for me.
@Hibbleton: @pugfuggly: jesus, that is some word-for-word oversnark. Forgiveness please!
FC: Dolly strikes the puddle with her pretend wand and tells Jeffy; “You’re now a frog. Get in.” Two hours later he runs into the house soaking wet and crying; “Mommy, Dolly turned me into a frog and won’t turn me back!”
Dennis the Menace: This is almost on the level of Rublev’s famed icon of The Trinity. Henry peers inscrutably at his son, who looks with wide and fresh eyes at Tom the lumber guy, who glances back to Henry with a jaded expression, all three of them equal to one another, living into one another, somehow separate and yet united in a divine perichoresis. And then there’s Harry over on the side, perpetually looking out a thousand yards, never making direct eye contact. Harry’s had some trauma.
Dennis the Menace, alt joke: Oh look, it’s Tom, the Dick and Harry, and Henry too!
@Tom T.: All that aging and de-aging causes some real problems.
DtM: “Looks like you need to work on your joke construction a bit, kid.” “Heh, yeah. Make sure you file for workmans’ comp for that burn too, brat.” “Ooh, nice one, ==.” “Thanks, ===.”
H&L: It’s a bit of a chore to put those cords on evening after evening, but it’s worth it to protect your garbage at night from your feral monkeywife.
CS: Crankshaft’s baseball story is complete nonsense for countless reasons, but regardless of that it still has absolutely no relevance here, even with the contrived illiteracy element. He might as well ramble for half an hour about his history of health problems from smoking before concluding with, “Of course, I had to use matches and Zippos to light my cigarettes, so I can really relate to your present concerns about the dangers of fire.”
HtH: Would Marvin be more tolerable if Marvin did most of his pissing and shitting from the back of a fire-breathing dragon? Probably not, but this is still pretty rad.
JP: After two weeks of Neddy roping in Ronnie and dragging her feet because she’s nervous, we still have no idea why she’s nervous. Hell, I can’t even make up a reasonable possibility at this point. Neddy’s long since crossed the Rubicon of incurring Declan’s wrath from contacting his family, and it’s not like there’s a result from this conversation that will actually shake her. Like, even if Declan’s parents proved to her that Declan actually was the embezzler, why would Neddy care? Princess Fuck-You-Got-Mine is as selfish and morally bankrupt as it gets; at most, she’d just be annoyed he’s been holding out on her.
@GarrisonSkunk: Makes me PINE for the days of corporal punishment!
CS: So, Cranky wasn’t in the bullpen for the game, or travelled with the team, because he wasn’t pitching. I’m not going to invest brain matter to see if the coaching staff was involved in this prank.
9CL: what’s with the use of “mummy”? Isn’t that a British thing and aren’t these supposed to be Americans? Could this strip BE anymore pretentious?
The raccoon is looking at Hi in that way because it pities Hi’s stupidity. It knows it’ll be able to bypass the security feature in mere minutes and expects better from this ridiculous human POS
Chix (sic): The Talosians did a piss-poor job of putting Xunise back together when she crash landed on their planet.
@pugfuggly: Considering the use of the word “hangdog,” that level of overlap is quite funny.
MW: I know this would violate the first rule of Mary Worth (First, do nothing) but Stelle is actually going to murder Ed, isn’t she? That will really allow for some world class Mary Meddling.
CS: So, he missed his opportunity because he couldn’t read the roster after somebody TOLD him what day he was pitching? How does this make any sense?
Hi and Lois: Most modern garbage cans have latches that lock the lid into place. While I can’t say if that would keep raccoons out, but Hi should get with the times. Just saying.
DtM: Behold the birth of a legend. The man on the right in the flannel shirt will never be the same after this. While he keeps the flannel shirts, he will go home and shave his head before stabbing his eyes out and covering them forever with an oversized baseball cap. And so was born Homer, the iconic comic mascot of the Home Depot. We are all witnesses!
DtM: Used to be a kid could get into so much trouble on a construction site that they could build an entire educational short around it. Nowadays all they can do is tell terrible jokes to the workers while a parent supervises. I tell ya, menacing ain’t what it used to be.
H&L: That poor raccoon. He went to all the trouble to find the one house that still uses metal garbage cans, only to have this happen.
Green Shirt Guy is devastated that Dennis’s joke interrupted his board guitar solo.
GT – “I couldn’t hold it in any longer” is not what you should say when you’re in bed with your girlfriend.
The look of concern on Lois’ face says it all. She doesn’t know what caused the change in Hi’s personality the day he decided to stop trying to be funny, but overall he seemed relatively normal for someone who lives in the funny pages. But now this? He had all day to bring up these bungee cords, so why wait until they got ready for bed? He could have gone outside fully clothed to set them up while he could still see clearly in the daylight and now he’s out there not even wearing slippers. She’s watched her neighbours’ lives fall apart with Thirsty’s chronic alcoholism and she isn’t going to let that happen to her family. Once Hi is back inside and she’s dried her tears, she’s going to sit him down and finally talk to him about how they need to reach out for help.
Going outside without shoes or slippers, is this a blatant attempt to get Hi an entry on Wikifeet?
@jnoble: “9CL: what’s with the use of “mummy”? Isn’t that a British thing and aren’t these supposed to be Americans? Could this strip BE anymore pretentious?”
The Twins have called her Mummy since they were born. Pretense starts early! Hence the “pre-”
Be glad they aren’t still speculating as to whether Mummy still has a nice set of Charlies.
Rex Morgan – Look how folksy I am! Doesn’t make it any less of a snoozefest.
Breaking Cat News – Update: The Sunday strip is now on GoComics. It was a glitch, not censorship. I still like the artwork of the centaur cowboy, although I don’t want to think too far about it, thanks to Ukulele Ike.
Crankshaft – He thought he wasn’t pitching, so he didn’t bother to show up for the game, which baseball players are well known for doing. This was garbage the first time, and it’s garbage in the flashback.
9CL – They apparently haven’t been paying attention their entire lives.
6Chix – She’s worried that she won’t be able to afford that pumpkin. Buckle up for rotting pumpkin strips until February.
Mary Worth – The obvious solution after Mary’s meddling would be for Estelle and Dr. Ed to adopt a puppy together so they have a pet in common. However, “Dogs are good!” has already been done, and the premature puppies Dr. Ed delivered died.
Seriously, can MW go any lower than a litter of dead puppies?
Hi and Lois – If the raccoon has told Hi once, he’s told Hi a hundred times: Put on some damn shoes when you come out here. Very disappointing.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I’d be happy to model for you. But I don’t like this crazy abstract stuff”
“I get it, Don Abundio! You want me to paint the real you”
“That’s right, if you can do it”
“No matter how this turns out, no one will be able to say I didn’t paint the real you”
Six Chix – “I just wanna be able to afford nonsequiturs. And a tissue.”
Six Chix – ♪ ‘Cause I’m sneezin’, on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again…
CS: Right, because the Detroit Tigers scouting department attends only one Mud Hens game a year. The rest of the time, they have no idea who’s doing what down there in Toledo. Sheesh.
I’ve never tried standup comedy, so I might be completely off here, but I now wonder if sociopathic tendencies could be a benefit on stage, almost like trolling the audience.
H&L – Lois is disappointed – or perhaps relieved – because she first thought Hi purchased the cords for some kinky sex act.
@Batiuk’s Attic: Whether it’s a stand-up act or just a regular speech/presentation in which he try and inject some humor, you do get the truest reaction from the audience. Josh is right about knowing immediately if you hit the mark or not – polite laughter sucks. I am also familiar with the semi-groan when you realize that your off-color joke didn’t go over well.
Dustin: What the hell is going on with the artwork? Dustdad looks like a giant penguin in a pullover.
@Baja Gaijin: With Jeffy there, wouldn’t the puddle have a brown tint to it, too?
DtM: “Yeah, we’ve got chess in the break room. Why do you ask? Wait, aren’t you the kid who innocently repeats his parents’ insults? Does your dad think we’re dumb because we work at a lumber yard, or a Home Depot, or wherever this is? Let’s talk to him about that, shall we?”
The adults look at Dennis with barely disguised contempt, knowing full well his concept of a board game stops with Candyland or maybe Monopoly (for at most two runs around the board before he gets bored and starts playing with the tokens) while they, sophisticates that they are, play only prime choice Eurogames, Power Grid and Castles of Burgundy, with maybe a light session of Settlers of Catan to clear the palate. No, Dennis, they don’t play ‘boardgames’ in the sense of Milton-Bradley pabulum or Ameritrash plastic figures – they play board games.
C’shaft: Batiuk couldn’t even stretch his lam banned book story through the official Banned Books Week; he had to fall back on his tired “reading is important, kids!” anecdote to get him over the finish line.
Dustin: I mean sure, if I was Dustin I’d be pretty upset that I had no one to talk to apart from my hateful, nagging father too.
JP: So is Ronnie going to be allowed inside, or does she have to wait in the car with the window cracked?
Luann: I see we’re on week two of “People who are happy and enjoying themselves are terrible”….
MW: Help me out here, ‘Mudge brain trust: how exactly does emergency veterinarian service staffing work in the real world? Are vets ever “on call” like human doctors, and might be expected to drop their scheduled plans if something arises? Is this situation absurd because Stell has unrealistic expectations about Dr. Ed’s professional obligations, or is it absurd because Dr. Ed is conducting his practice in a way no actual veterinarian would?
PH&U: I for one welcome our precious dark overlords.
Phantom: Oh no, the Avarice’s adaptive learning algorithm has taught it to establish a shadow colonialist dynasty and rule the global south through intimidation, fear, and clandestine paramilitary organizations!
Luann – While we chortle about how this comic is sex-averse, it has produced Toni giving B-wad a handjob under the sheets, Kip and Stef with a jizz towel, and now the suggestion that Stef is diddling herself.
The Trufans are doing their usual stuff, complaining about how having a roommate is the pits, but at least one picked up on the theme:
yoda1234 about 8 hours ago
Kip is elsewhere, and Stef simply bought stock in DuraCell???
@2 Baja Gaijin:
Wilbur took a leak.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
On why DustinDad looks weird today : it’s a rerun from the early days of the strip (2010, to be precise).
…that old look is fuel for my “DustinDad has been drawn as progressively thinner and handsomer
(and the line on the top of his head thicker to pretend like he has hair)so that the audience ‘GETS’ that he’s supposed to never be seen as being in the wrong” theory…(I wonder why such an obviously out-of-place rerun today, though)
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: You’re confusing FC with Marvin.
CS: Ed Crankshaft was no Dock Ellis.
Blondie Spanish to English.
@jroggs: CS: Crankshaft’s baseball story is complete nonsense for countless reasons, but regardless of that it still has absolutely no relevance here, even with the contrived illiteracy element. He might as well ramble for half an hour about his history of health problems from smoking before concluding with, “Of course, I had to use matches and Zippos to light my cigarettes, so I can really relate to your present concerns about the dangers of fire.”
Bat-hack is throwing everything he’s got at the wall (or down the crapper) to show the Pulitzer Committee just how “important” and “serious” this storyline is. It’s almost getting to the point where my contempt is turning to pity.
@TheDiva: Oh, there’s at least one more week of the “burnings” story. The original puff pieces said it would run into October. And, that the story officially started on August 26, which means that week of Dinkle blathering about the titles of his autobiography was also part of the story.
Dennis the Menace-Sadly Dennis had an “accident” where he “accidentally” fell into the cement mixer.
Dennis the Menace-“No actually we play Reindeer games.”
@jroggs:
Crankshaft-Or ramble about how he had to walk two towns over to get fan belt while wearing an onion on his belt which was the style at the time.
Crankshaft: because arson is exactly like pranking a guy who can’t read. I guess the unifying principle is “bad things are bad.”
DtM: Dennis managed to find employees in the lumber department? That’s impressive.
CS: This comic strip makes me wish I couldn’t read.
@Uncle Lumpy:
Well, preventing someone from reading important messages so they’ll miss out on an important opportunity is a monstrous, evil act only an irredeemable bully would do!
(Lillian stealing Lucy and Eugene’s love letters)And how dare that [UNKNOWN PARTY] terrorise sweet old Lillian by purposefully trying to set her property on fire!
(Something Crankshaft does ALL THE TIME)And when misfortune strikes the McKenzie household, Crankshaft talking about how bitter he is he missed out on being a pro baseball player is always appropriate!
(the cover of the Crankshaft album “I’ve still got it!” is Crankshaft, dressed in full baseball uniform, purposefully throwing fastballs at Lillian and Lucy’s house to smash all their windows and break the stuff inside)Close To Home: Why you don’t see anteaters make out.
Hi and Lois: Never mind that! What about the poor, hungry, crestfallen raccoon????
CS: I did a little geography homework. Detroit is 58 miles from Toledo. Even in the pre-interstate era that would’ve been a two hour drive at most. When Ed played the Mudhens were the Tigers farm team. The Tigers most likely had a scout permanently assigned to the Mudhens whose job was to make daily reports to the Tigers management. Even if Ed wasn’t on that days pitching rotation he still would’ve been required to be in uniform and in the bullpen warming up just in case. Also, didn’t Batiuk once run another story where Bull Bushka’s grandfather Beanball slipped Ed a mickey to make him look sloppy drunk the day the scout was there?
Whichever story is true WTF does it have to do with book banning?
“Don’t look at me like that! I told you I’m married, that it was a one time fling. We could never be together. You won’t even take off that mask! So, just . . . go away. It’d be better for both of us. I’ll . . . never forget you, and I’ll carry the roundworm infestation you gave me forever in my heart and brain.”
@58 I speak Jive: Seriously, can Mary Worth go any lower than a litter of dead puppies? Don’t ever say or even think that. They make take it as a challenge. We’ve already seen countless cabuncle-covered muffins and Wilbur in a Speedo…
@71 TheDiva: on Mary Worth: All of the above plus Loathsome Lil is loathsome.
H&L: Well, folks, this is what happens when you go the “economy” route. When they wanted a Raccoon for a garbage can gag, we of course suggested one of our talented ensemble packages. An entire gang of
rabidangry Raccoons would have had much more impact – the torches and pitchforks woulda really sold it!But no, just one solitary Lone Raccoon, fuming over the injustice of a secured garbage can. But, ya know, he can easily rip off those cords and get to the delicacies inside! That disgruntled look is called ACTING! Great job, Rocko…
Hi And Lois: That raccoon is so terribly drawn that it looks more like a coatimundi.
@ectojazzmage: re H&L: Yeah, their production values suck, but it’s a living. A gig’s a gig….
Fred Basset English to English (what they’re really saying).
CS: so Batiuk is back to Crankshaft was a minor league ball player in 1940, which makes him 105 now.
Crankshaft: “So to sum up, people are burning books, Ed couldn’t read once, and Lisa is dead from cancer. Everybody got that?”
Crank: I think this has been mentioned here every time Ed rehashes his sad tale of how he missed his chance in the big leagues, so, about two thousand times:
There’s no reason illiterate people would not be able to recognize and write THEIR OWN NAMES. Especially when they consider their illiteracy to be a secret hidden shame. Because signing legal documents with an “X” is kinda a big giveaway.
And that is a baseball schedule. Like a grid, with various names written in. And a lot of clues to help a non-brain damaged illiterate decipher what it means. If they don’t play on Sundays, then the week of games would begin on Monday, and Ed could count down the sheet until he saw his name. But maybe the Mudhens manager writes his schedules out in sonnet form.
EDUCATION (Caution, a sermon may follow)
CS:. Oh, what a disservice we did to students! First, in Crankshaft’s generation we labeled kids with learning disabilities as “slow” and just gave up on them– see how that impaired the rest of their lives. (I’ve tutored several such adults in homeless shelters and yes, with extra work, they CAN master basic reading.
This last generation we just gave “social passes” to students who couldn’t keep up with whole word lessons, pretending half the class would catch up later. Instead, they got farther behind. Again phonics to the rescue but only if offered.
FRAZZ:. Ah, is this how teachers are weeding out homework done by AI?
CURTIS:. So Onion and Derrick were held back. Will Curtis rat out his little brother, who is now a grade ahead of him?
H&L: The raccoon probably doesn’t get into Thirsty’s garbage because the only thing available would be empty beer cans.
Or a series of limericks. That could be fun!
”There was a baseballer called Guido
Who lived in the town of Toledo.
On Tuesdays he’d pitch
Drive his Ford in a ditch
And go for a swim in his Speedo.”
@TheDiva: Re. MW: Moy has no idea about any of the jobs she gives her dumb animal characters, she took a previously resolved conflict and made it unresolved for the sake of (very minimal) drama, and she fully thinks that the viewers are goldfish who don’t remember anything.
H&L: Hi stupidly purchased metal garbage cans without handles, so he had to attach the bungee cords to the bottoms. And he attached them on the same side, so lifting up on the lids slightly will cause them to fly off. The raccoon isn’t sad. He’s just very disappointed in Hi.
Crankshaft: “Damn cursive writing!”
H&L: Maybe they should adopt the dirty, sad raccoon as a new family pet, could bring about a whole lot of family fun shenanigans!
@Activist: Barry is currently a high school senior, taking AP courses in English, calculus, and chemistry. Stanford, Princeton, Duke, and MIT are fighting over him.
@Needless Exposition: “dumb animal characters?” “goldfish who don’t remember anything?”
That’s uncalled for!
@Ukulele Ike:
FOR NO REASON!
Tuesday Chick must be a lot of fun during Fleet Week.
FG: Meanwhile, back in Sky City, Bok and Zarkhov are still trading punches with those Hawkmen jailers.
FG: I’m going to predict. Flash is looking up his side squeeze Bones Mallock.
Luann: I do believe several of you, yesterday, basically said what Bets final line is.
@Sequitur: They look like mutate snuffleuphuguses.
STUPID NEWS OF THE DAY: Weird Al Yankovick is kicking off a 2025 large venue tour. But the best part is that his opening act is something called “Puddles Pity Party” — which makes me think of the good folks over at Luann, except for the fact that this act is fronted by a 7 foot clown with a “golden Grammy-qualified voice” (sorry, Baja — no Weird Al for you! )
Luann: Today’s strip’s last panel would have benefitted with Dez and Kip walking into Tiff’s/Bets’ room.
Pluggers: “Honey! Why’d you wash my belt?”
@Willa G. Fish: Don’t worry, Willa, you’re an intelligent and well educated woman compared to those meat puppets.
@T.H. Steady: It’s especially sad to see how much work Batiuk is putting into this story line, seeing as Patrick McDonnell’s Guard Dog saga in Mutts is a lock for the Pulitzer this year