Archive: Hi and Lois

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/20/20

Hey, remember Nancy, Kelly’s sneering mean-girl nemesis who tried to key Kelly’s car, back when Kelly was being chauffeured around in a hearse by mobsters because this strip used to be interesting? Well, Nancy briefly tried to do something interesting, but don’t worry: it was prevented from ever happening, off-panel, which is good because otherwise we might have had to watch it happen, instead of getting an entire Sunday strip of virtuous characters talking to each other on the phone.

Hi and Lois, 9/20/20

I genuinely love that (a) techno has been rendered as “boing bop bing” here and (b) that Hi has gone from dubious to extremely over it as Chip works his way through this bit.

Dustin, 9/20/20

You guys, Dustin finally did an actually kind of funny joke! Unfortunately the joke is that Popeye is on TV holding a can labelled “kale.” The punchline to the strip itself is not funny.

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Beetle Bailey, 9/6/20

In America during the years after World War II, pretty much everyone was or knew someone who had served in the armed forces. So there were lots of military-themed movies, and comic books like Sergeant Rock, G.I. Joe, Blackhawks, and Army at War. TV “service comedies” included The Phil Silvers Show (Sergeant Bilko), McHale’s Navy, Hogan’s Heroes, Gomer Pyle USMC, F Troop, and Mister Roberts, and I’ve probably missed a bunch. Comic strips included Terry and the Pirates and its successor Steve Canyon, The Sad Sack, the original R-rated Stars and Stripes version of Sally Forth by the incomparable Wallace Wood (Google it yourself; this is a family site, sort of), and, of course, Beetle Bailey.

Given the 75 years since VJ Day, lower military enlistment rates, and decline of newspapers in general, I was pretty astonished to see that Beetle Bailey appears in 1,600 newspapers and apparently has a big international presence. Especially since it’s basically The Lockhorns in uniform? Anyway, congratulations Walkers, and here’s to 70 more — we’ll still be here for you; count on it!

Blondie, 9/6/20

I used to get really steamed about Miz Melba in Gasoline Alley and the endless schtick with her blouse falling off her shoulders, but somehow this here doesn’t bother me a bit. Funny.

Hi and Lois, 9/6/20

In another of Mort Walker’s creations, we learn that Thirsty Thurston isn’t just a lazy sot — he’s a lazy Communist sot.

Judge Parker, 9/6/20 (panels)

Remember that incoherent screaming I promised you? Well here it is. Bask in it!

Sally Forth, 9/6/20

It’s like a spinner for the world’s saddest board game.

Will I stop jonesing on Judge Parker now? Tune in tomorrow and see!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Mary Worth, 8/29/20

If you had asked me where I might expect to encounter the line of dialogue “Pain exists. But so does hope,” I would’ve guessed the end of the first act of a big-budget superhero origin story movie, with an anonymous hooded figure staring down at our protagonist and throwing him a rope after he’d been left for dead in a pit somewhere. Our hero climbs out but the figure is gone, but he’s inspired to enter a years-long rigorous training program to make himself into the perfect fighting machine so he can defend his city from the kind of evil-doers who almost killed him, only to discover at the climax of the film that the mysterious leader of the twisted criminal syndicate he’s been trying to defeat is in fact his long-ago rescuer. “We’re not so different, you and I,” intones the Hood as the two of them battle it out on the city’s rooftops. “I made you so you could make me. A shadow cannot exist without the light.” But, you know, it could be an contented retiree making amiable chitchat with a tween as they sit besides the pool on a sunny Southern California day, that would work too!

Hi and Lois, 8/29/20

Today’s Hi and Lois is brought to you by the good people at the International Dairy Foods Association. In These Unprecedented Times℠, Cheese: Now More Than Ever™.

Pluggers, 8/29/20

Pluggers want more tomatoes. More. More tomatoes. Do you think they’ve had enough tomatoes? They’ll tell you when they’ve had enough. There will never be enough. More tomatoes. Bring more tomatoes to them. More. MORE. M O R E