Archive: Hi and Lois

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Marvin, 12/7/24

Black Friday? Enh. Small business Saturday? Whatever. Cyber Monday? Who cares. The real biggest shopping day of the year, as anyone tapped into the retail scene knows, is December 7th, the day that shall live in infamy. Millions of Americans will spend the day solemnly remembering the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor by buying a bunch of shitty presents for their spouses that their spouses won’t like. It’s the reason for the season!

Mary Worth, 12/7/24

The thing about today’s Mary Worth is that it’s pretty funny as is but it’s really funny if you imagine every line being barked out as mirthlessly and sarcastically as possible. Give it a shot! Imagine that these two really dislike each other at the level of intensity that normal people would dislike Mary Worth and/or Wilbur Weston!

Hi and Lois, 12/7/24

I agree that snitching is bad, Ditto, but writing your name on the cookie box was a terrible choice. You just lost all plausible deniability! You self-snitched, which is just embarrassing.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/2/24

I had never really thought about it, but if you had asked me before today, I would’ve told you I was pretty sure that the chickens Snuffy steals from his neighbors by stuffing them into a patchèd sack in the dead of night were still alive when he got home. Like, obviously they get killed eventually but, I dunno, I assumed it was right before the Smifs ate them. But surely if the lumps in that bag represented a live chicken, it would’ve been prompted to move around and squawk a bit by all the commotion in today’s strip, so I guess Snuffy just strangles the birds before they even leave the coop he’s stealing them from, the better to make a silent getaway. Not sure why that makes this whole scene so much grimmer, but I think you can agree that it really does.

Dennis the Menace, 12/2/24

I’m on the record as hating the running joke where Dennis slags on his mother’s cooking all the time. I thought I hated it because of its underlying gender politics, but it turns out I hate it even more because it set up today’s panel, in which Margaret is acting out an ambiguous wife/mother role as she and Dennis “play house” and Dennis experiences good cooking for the first time ever, and it’s so baffling to him he doesn’t even have a coherent vocabulary to describe it, which will change the nature of their relationship forever.

Hi and Lois, 12/2/24

Ha ha, we all know that regular guys (old) are constantly avoiding listening to their wives by watching the “big game” on TV. But what do younger guys (45 and under, a demographic into which Hi Flagston falls) do when their wife wants to “talk about her feelings or experiences that are meaningful to her” or whatever? What if I told you that they avoid all that by watching the “big game” on their [record scratch] PHONES????

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/28/24

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Personally, I’m thankful to learn that, in the Hagarverse, the imported Near Eastern triune God coexists with even more ancient pagan deities. I just think it’s neat!

Hi and Lois, 11/28/24

I’m also thankful that nobody at my Thanksgiving dinner is going to blurt out “Hey, you know what would be cool? If you could go back in time and murder and eat a pilgrim. Just slice up their flesh and make sandwiches out of it!” People talk about dreading political arguments with their families but frankly I think this one would be an even bigger downer.

Mary Worth, 11/28/24

I’m not thankful that Mary’s friends remembered to Doordash her some Thanksgiving dinner before they all went out to live their best lives without her. We were so close to finishing her off for good! So close!