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Dennis the Menace, 4/19/24

There’s been a disturbing trend lately of Dennis the Menace panels where Dennis doesn’t figure into the gag at all, even as an unseen presence, and instead it’s just Mr. and Mrs. Wilson going about their daily lives, and while I guess it might be a smart move to pander to the newspaper comics’ aging audience, frankly I’m not a fan. This could have been yet another George-and-Martha only installment, but instead it includes Dennis as a silent observer of Mr. Wilson’s petty gripe and his wife’s resulting discomfiture, which I think is a truly if subtly menacing move, so kudos.

Mary Worth, 4/19/24

Ha ha, what if Wilbur, to get a little measure of revenge against his ex’s young, hot new boyfriend, imagined his rival as a brutish ape? That would definitely be amusing and … oh no. Oh no. Look at his face, look at those drooping eyelids and little smile, he is definitely becoming aroused, abort abort abort

Pluggers, 4/19/24

No! No!!! I don’t care how cheap they are — a plugger would never purchase tofu, do you hear me? Never! Never!!!!

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Dennis the Menace and Blondie, 4/1/24

Is there any “holiday” more vile and unpleasant than April Fool’s Day, which is mostly marked by “pranks” perpetrated by the least funny people alive? These tricks generally take one of two very simple forms, as illustrated neatly in these two strips: making someone believe that something bad is happening when it really isn’t, or making someone believe something good is happening when it really isn’t. Does anyone enjoy either? I’m going to say no.

Dustin, 4/1/24

The “making someone believe something good is happening” one is a particularly dangerous game, as Dustin is discovering, especially if you put a lot of work into it! Look at how mad his father is in panel two. He’s about to put his son out on the street and have him carry those presumably empty boxes to his nonexistent new apartment.

Pluggers, 4/1/24

Today’s Pluggers is just a baffling and confusing series of decisions (is Smokey a plugger? “April Phurst”? The Philippines?) meant to keep you completely off-kilter with no real resolution, and in that sense is the only good April Fool’s Day strip. Kudos.

Mary Worth, 4/1/24

The worst prank of all, however, has been perpetrated by Mary Worth on all of us. We were all looking forward to Dawn’s hilariously disastrous reunion with her cold, withholding mother, but instead we’re going to get … Wilbur realizing his life is empty and meaningless? WE ARE ALREADY WELL AWARE OF THIS, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO WE NEED IT REHASHED OVER THE NEXT SIX TO FIFTEEN WEEKS

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Beetle Bailey, 3/30/24

I actually really like Sarge’s facial expression in this one. Having been advised that he’s walking into a potentially explosive situation, he’s subtly but carefully assessing enemy positions and weak points, as well as any potential means of egress. It’s called situational awareness and the soldiers under his command could frankly benefit from his knowledge in this area!

Dennis the Menace, 3/30/24

Forget darndest thing saying or even impish destruction: this is the kind of menace you should most fear from a child, when you’ve gone out of your way to create a whimsical delight for him and he can only respond with unearned, heavy-lidded ennui. This is the good stuff!

Pluggers, 3/30/24

This bear-man is clearly delighted looking at this belt, and is not experiencing an iota of body shame. Stop trying to impose your agenda on him, Pluggers caption! He just thinks braided belts are neat!