Honestly curious about Hagar’s and Helga’s relative social positions before they married
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Mary Worth, 10/24/24
If I know Mary Worth, and I’d like to think at this point that I do, I’m reasonably sure that Estelle and Dr. Ed will, in fact, end up back together. However, I appreciate the fact that she’s maintaining a somewhat realistic attitude about the matter. Like, yeah, maybe you have some regrets, but the guy whose engagement ring you hurled into his chest at full force in front of a bunch people at his vet clinic — the vet clinic where he was overworked and you started volunteering to help out at, from which you stormed out that day and presumably have not been back since — that guy might not be in the headspace to pick up where you left off. And that’s fair! Can’t hurt to ask, but it’s fair if he says no! At least a vision direct from God will keep her from marrying Wilbur, even if it means dying alone!
Hagar the Horrible, 10/24/24
Because I’m the specific kind of dork that I am, my immediate thought reading this strip was, “Wait, are these Vikings supposed to be a bride-price culture or a dowry culture? You can’t have it both ways!” Well, after doing a little research, it turns out the dichotomy I half remember a friend of mine explaining to me when she was taking Anthropology 101 during our freshman year of college was a little reductive, because you can have it both ways and the Vikings did: their marriage rituals were preceded by an elaborate and reciprocal series of gift exchanges between the bride’s and groom’s families. Now, that sounds like a big waste of time to me because you end up with the same amount of money at the end of it that you started with, but I guess it helped establish and tighten kinship bonds or something. Whatever, I’m not going to tell them how to live their lives! Wouldn’t do much good anyway, seeing as they’re all dead.
134 replies to “Honestly curious about Hagar’s and Helga’s relative social positions before they married”
HAGAR: From this, I infer that Hagar would never have risen to his current level of pillage and plunder without the love of a good woman.
MW: Today, “Meow” means, “Are you willing to sign and notarize a document stating this?”
MW:
“Kids, if I were to produce ocular and nasal discharges while crying for Ed to take me back, would that be to ‘make rheum for Daddy‘?”
Mary Worth: I am begging you, for the love of god – never let of your any characters call their lover “Daddy” ever again. Estelle calling Dr. Ed that is bad enough, but the idea of Toby and Ian engaging in a bit of daddy kink is making me actually ill.
“And
Libbyreaders, if you’re concerned about me marrying Wilbur… that’s not going to happen!”MW: I found the stage directions for this scene online: (Estelle speaks, dubbed) And Libby, (pause) if you’re worried about me marrying Wilbur (crash of symbols) it’s not (emphasized) going to happen! (scene)
MW:
“Hi, kids! It’s Slylock Fox! Can you count the number of times that Estelle has taken Pierre and Libby on long walks since her outburst in Ed’s waiting room, instead of using a fraction of the time spent on any single one of them to simply call and apologize to him for her behavior?”
@Hibbleton:
When spellcheck fails (sob)
FC: Dolly continued; “and if you find any ashes or dust don’t touch it. That’s dead people.”
MW: Ahahah, it’s funny because the thought of someone being in an emotional and intimate relationship with Wilbur disgusts even animals who use their tongue as toilet paper!
Hagar the Horrible : is this about how most people confuse dowry and bride price, and assume the word ‘dowry’ refers to both, or the latter (ie. people think dowries are paying for the right to marry a person’s daughter)?
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Gil Thorp : …is the new artist literally drawing the characters as being ‘fatheaded’ whenever they’re being jerks? Is that why their head sizes keep changing from panel to panel?
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Luann : The ‘Moony University MULES’, huh? Was that established before, or is that all a pretext to sneak pictures of a cartoon butt with the word ‘ASS’ next to it past the censors?
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Rhymes with Orange : I think at that point in time, it wasn’t a ‘Nigerian Prince’, it was a ‘Spanish Prisoner’. Though, during that era, the money marks were a lot more sympathetic (and a lot less suspicious) of the whole ‘HELP I’M ROYALTY BUT I’VE BEEN USURPED, SEND ME MONEY, I’LL REPAY YOU DOUBLE WHEN I TAKE THE THRONE BACK!’ spiel, regardless of origin.
That cat Libby has the most unconvincing markings. Looks like she’s wearing a freakin’ monocle. I bet Estelle drew that on there with a Sharpie, to emphasize the fact that her cat is higher-class than Wilbur.
It’s an interesting insight into the pre-capitalist worldview. By any indication, Hagar is a very successful raider who brings abundant riches home and can even pay a rich dowry for his daughter. But in the aristocratic mindset, his low birth will always taint him, while in a bourgeois mindset a rag to riches story is the peak of the meritocratic system of values. Poor Hagar, he was born too early, he would have made a great Victorian robber baron!
If Hagar did not have any money, why did Helga marry him? Well, this is a family strip, so I guess they cannot say he kidnapped her after murdering her male guardian — making Hagar’s mother-in-law’s hostility a BIT more justified.
JP: In P2, Declan tries to read Neddy’s mind. “Oh God…Sally…Ted…Hillary…What is happening?”
Blondie: Cartoons? In a slideshow presentation? Say whaaaat? Man, if only this visual medium was capable of actually showing us these whimsical illustrations! Anyway, here are two middle-aged dullards standing in a hallway.
H&L: “Oh no! A person quietly minding their own business! Someone help me, I can’t take this bullying!”
JP: Yeah, we’re just doing Marie/ Roy and Abbey/ Sam again. Woman is completely in love with Man, but then Woman hears one thing they don’t like (verification optional) and that’s it, it’s all over, she has absolutely no interest in hearing anything Man has to say for himself, and Man is barely permitted a chance to splutter ineffectually before retiring in shame. Sophie and Glen will be doing this in a year or two as well, as long as Glen doesn’t fall into the character memory hole like so many before him. Good thing this comic is named after Alan, or Katherine would have tossed him out on his ear and out of this series years ago.
RMMD: Narrator (VO) – “Truck Tyler and Mud Mountain Murphy: Talkin’ ‘Bout Doin’ would go on to sell zero copies, ending the pair’s long musical careers. Tyler’s professional miseries were compounded as his painful finger-straightening condition spread to other parts of his body, resulting in the dissolution of his relationship with Wanda after the ailment reached his other extremities, often causing him to collapse screaming from the painful snapping of his erections. As for Murphy, he chose to focus on his Mirakle Method work, but sadly took his own life after having to listen to Lyle Ollman talk one time too many. Murphy’s last remaining fan was in a state of disbelief for years after, often visiting his grave to beg him to play her favorite song one last time for her. And so ended another tragic chapter in the history of Glenwood’s music scene, just as another was beginning. Stick around after the break as we explore the emergent and emetic history of a viral found footage music video: ‘Spew For You (Dysphagic Magic)’ by Justin.”
CS: Do I want to hear a scary story from the people who just incited the world’s most boring mob confrontation? No, thanks. Do you have some political ads I could watch instead?
MW – As they amble past the humping rocks, Estelle wonders if she’s the sugar-mamma or Ed’s the sugar-daddy in this relationship. Libby, however, has no such doubts and she answer’s Estelle’s unseen thought balloon.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I’d much rather have Sugar Bear and Super Sugar Crisp.
MW: Daddy? Barf!
@Ettorre:
Heh, heh…taint
So you had nothing much sarcastically to say about Hagar. You just rambled about a college student a while back.
This is what your life has been reduced to, Josh. Learn to code.
@Bob Tice: Upside-down answer: Count Weirdly prevented Estelle from doing this and thus need to be arrested! Case closed!
So now that this strip has confirmed a relationship with Wilbur is a fate worse than death, can Moy please explain the last Wilbur arc that dragged on forever? If we weren’t supposed to feel sorry for him and his bout of depression after his fish’s death, what was the intended reaction? Pointing and laughing? Because we can only do that for so long when day after day is Wilbur decaying on his couch.
@jroggs: Re: RMMD: I can assure concerned readers that this didn’t happen. The above scenario sounds interesting, and we all know that there is a court-ordered mandate that Rex Morgan M.D. must stay at least 500 feet away from interesting plotlines at all times.
Hagär the Horrible: Josh was so busy nerding out on Viking marriage customs that he forgot to ask the darker existential question: did Vikings have sofas?
MW: Dying sad and alone or living with Wilbur….at least we know Estelle is making the right choice there
I know Libby is monocular, but that sure looks like a “You know it, babe!” wink in Panel Two.
Mary Worth:
Mary pulled me out of the sack,
And she stuck me together with glurge.
And then I knew not to dirge.
I made a model of you,
A man in puce with a veterinary look
And a love of the mouse and the shrew.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I’m just not through!
The black hair’s dyed down to the root,
The voice of reason can’t worm through.
MW: Estelle is subtly telling Libby he can piss during the walk, no need to save some to spray around at home.
That’s the face of a cat who is going to have no problem eating Estelle if she dies alone.
MW: I like how Estelle only has to reassure Libby that she’s not going back to Wilbur. Pierre? He don’t give a fuck. Give him some Alpo and a walk in the park and he’ll cuddle up to Mussolini.
MW: ‘That’s not going to happen!’ [A few weeks/months pass] PSYCHE!!
I would not put it past them. Not in the least.
Luann: Men are such boors, amirite? No wonder those bitchslutwhores [who wouldn’t give Greg Evans the time of day back in high school] are so attracted to them!
RMMD: ‘And recordin’ makes a man powerful hungry! Say, why don’t you head back to the diner and rustle us up some pancakes darlin’? And make sure you clean the restroom. Mud here’s been holding it in all night and he’s gonna really need to go when we get there!’
Dustin: I know Ed is a morbidly obese man who can’t control himself but he is not describing intermittent fasting, that’s just not eating while you’re sleeping. Try not eating between 6 p.m and noon the next day. Or you could just choke on your own vomit.
MW – Daddy issues. Meow, indeed….
Hth – Of course, this was all before Cialis and Viagra….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
I totally am ready for the punchline where Stell lets herself into the vet’s office to apologize, only to find out that he has “moved on” and by “moved on” I mean that he’s deeply into his 23 year old new vet tech if you know what I mean, and hard at work, if you know what I mean.
MW- hmmm I wonder. Moy has spent a lot of time building Stell up from lonesome loser getting scammed, to being manipulated by Wilbur’s “quirks” , to bridezilla with a mask fetish.
If she does marry Ed, you’d think she’s moving out, and would we ever see her again?
All I’m saying is don’t go all in on those bets for Ed just yet.
REX MORGAN M.D.: This is how you ask for a threesome in the language of “Roots Country Schlubbiness” (look how horned up it seems to have made the silhouettes! That dive-bar hootenanny is about to turn Lou’s into an orgy!)
@33 Professor Well Actually: I think you missed the, for very small values of, humor in this strip. He’s a lawyer using a loophole to claim he’s performing the task in question even though it won’t help him reach his goal. In other words, in the weight loss realm, he’s King Plugger.
As for Ed choking on his own vomit, that’s not the worst thing I’ve heard today.
MW – “Do you think Daddy will take me back” isn’t at all an icky AF thing to say. No, not at all.
@Earwig:
I was hoping Stell would catch Dr. Ed “updating Dr. See’s shots,” iykwim, but I’ll take your scenario as well!
So, I guess we learned something about historical Viking culture from Hagar the Horrible today! #brandnewsentence#
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I’m Part of His Clique: It does occur to me that Mary Worth is what you’d get if you let Sylvia Plath write Hallmark Christmas movies.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I’m Part of His Clique: Eddie, Eddie, you bastard, I’m through.
Luann – I thought the Mules/Asses were the nickname of the opponents, but apparently I’m wrong. But wouldn’t it be the other team’s rooting section who would have a sign that says We Kick Ass? Or has a fan of the Milford Milfs infiltrated the Moony ranks?
Mary Worth – While dunking on Wilbur is fun, I can’t help but think this storyline is part of a bigger post-COVID push to restore the old order corporations miss
– Unpaid labor from women, (especially in the form of unpaid internships in a care position)
– Infinite forgiveness for men not getting therapy
– Workaholism being downplayed
– Estelle feeling put into competition with other women’s for Ed’s attention
Not every push back against progress looks like TikTok tradwives.
Hagar The Horrible – The accuracy put into this strip is more evidence for my fan theory that Hagar creator Dik Browne was a rogue academic, who tired of knowledge being locked up behind the walls of academia in expensive and inaccessible journals, and written in academic prose that was too dense for the average person to understand. Armed with the only surviving copies of Hagar’s biography and Helga’s diaries, Browne set forth to publish his amazing findings in a way an average blue collar worker reading the newspaper with their morning coffee could understand.
RMMD: The boys 40 minute set of one-song, ‘Whipping Post,’ was a big hit with the mostly senior audience members with a distorted sense of time.
Mary Worth is almost there in accidently recreating the myth of Freyja.
? Husband absent.
? Frequent weeping.
? Can shape-shift into a falcon (see the 5/7/1972 strip, true believers!)
? Slept with four dwarves for a fancy necklace (see upcoming honeymoon storyline)
X Has a sled pulled by two cats (so close! Keep trying, Mary Worth)
@Voshkod: Damnable check mark rendering . . . .
Wizard of Id Classic: Now that’s how you do a schnozz joke.
Hagar: ask your anthropologist friends about marriage by capture.
DtM: Dennis uses the best-place-to-hide-something-is-in-plain-sight method to conceal his hanging noose from his mom. Pretty menacing, if you ask me.
CS: Mary Shelley. Lord Byron. Villa Diadoti. Yeah, this is just like that.
GT: “Babe?! May I remind you that I’m non-binary. It’s ‘Bibb’ to you, Bub.”
Frazz: Yeah, those scumbag deer hanging around YOUR backcountry trail just so they can ogle you.
Jeez, I never thought Miss Jane could be as annoying as the other two malcontents in this strip, but she’s getting there.
RMMD: “We’re talkin’ ’bout doin’ more shows together and maybe some recording too.”
“Yes, I know. You said that exact same thing in yesterday’s strip.”
MW – Pierre is staring straight ahead in wide-eyed terror. “Damn, she’s still talking about this crap! I can’t handle the pressure of trying to figure out the correct moment to weigh in with ‘woof!'”
Mary Worth: Maury Povich has the paternity test results. Sorry, Dr. Ed: “Dog and Cat Fucking Days” down at the clinic are through!
Did the Vikings have lutes? Archeology points to yes.
Did the Vikings have couches that would not have looked out of place in a 1950s sit-com? Probably not.
Did the Vikings paint the insides of their hovels an inky black? Yes, because they were that metal.
@Earwig: Do you mean, they are having all the sexy fun time?
@Hagar?:
If your idea of wit is “saying something sarcastic,” I daresay it checks out that the Comics Curmudgeon isn’t exactly your cup of tea. Have you tried Dustin?
DT: Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. In Dick Tracyland, urban renewal surely spells unexpectedly finding decades-old corpses immured in walls or buried in cellars. Let the cadaverfest begin!
Hagar: Lute wisely removes the strings from his instrument and any other means of strangulation from within Hagar’s view.
I live for the history and etymology lessons. This has therefore been a good week. Thanks Josh!
Mary Worth: Libby’s design makes it look as if she’s winking at the reader in response to Estelle’s determination to not marry Wilbur, seemingly implying that she WILL in fact be married to Wilbur whether she likes it or not. Scary stuff.
Hagar The Horrible: Uh oh, Hagar and Helga are getting into a violent marital spat during their daughter’s date. Hopefully this won’t end with Hagar stabbing Helga to death in a fit of berserker rage and killing the mood even more.
MW: Another day, another
dollardelay. The Actor-who-plays-Ed did not get outta rehab yesterday as scheduled so we have an “anticipatory” interlude today. It did give The Ladies a chance to get in an “anti-Wilbur” remark, in response to all the threats, bad Yelp reviews, and poison pen letters they’ve been receiving. They hope this will keep the mob in check for awhile..It’s also a chance to mention that the trendy Cat-walking-vest that Libby is sporting is back in stock! Yes, it’s available in the signature purple version for a limited time only! You, too, can walk your Cat is style! Think of all the admiring looks and comments you’ll receive as you and your Cat take a stroll! We’re also including a free first-aid kit for you to use until your Cat becomes “accustomed” to donning the vest. Only a short break-in period is usually needed. Act now and don’t be disappointed!
In other news, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Willa and Stellan are being re-branded as Chilean Sea Bass! I don’t know how these things get started! Just don’t believe everything you see on the internet…
They picked a winner to draw the new, non-binary Gil Thorp. I can’t tell whether any of these people are girls or boys.
About once every two years I bitch about GoComics having the rights to Lil’ Abner, forty years of some of the best American sequential art ever, and choosing to run the same three fucking storylines over and over in an endless loop. On the plus side, it means I get to see Today’s reprint about once every 18 months. As close to perfection as a daily comic strip gets.
(sigh) And tomorrow we start the god damn “Fearless Fosdick” Chippendale Chair Murders plot yet again.
DT: Bless my stars. The new storyline is actually….slowing down.
@Bob Tice: #2
SNORT…
@MKay: #1
“MW: Today, “Meow” means, “Are you willing to sign and notarize a document stating this?”
Libby: “Put your left hand on this can of Fancy Feast, raise your right hand and swear before Bastet that you will never, never ever mention Wilbur again!!!”
@Hibbleton: #7
Cue the cymbals!!!
MW: has Libbey T. Cat always had a monocle?
JP: Neddy should at least give Declan rage sex before this verbal assault. And does she plan on taking a breath?
@Hibbleton: Mary Worth: The Musical!
I’m finding the new GT completely unreadable. Or maybe I should say unlookable since it’s the art that turns me off.
Hiring the least possible qualified artist to depict sports action in a strip about sports feels like some kind of cruel joke that I do not wish to participate in.
@Ukulele Ike: About once every two years I bitch about GoComics having the rights to Lil’ Abner, forty years of some of the best American sequential art ever, and choosing to run the same three fucking storylines over and over in an endless loop.
That reminds me: Is CK still regurgitating the same couple of storylines from the last years of Spider-man over and over?
Bizarro – Baja, avoid this.
FC – PJ thinks, “Thirteen years until this moron either leaves for college or gets married off. Fifteen years until Jeffy either leaves for college or goes into the Army on a court order. That’s assuming that he doesn’t flunk a few times. Then I’M in charge! BWA-HA-HA!”
Crankshaft – Smirk! Jessica can write about her father, John Darling.
Only Batiuk would equate these abominable people with Mary Shelley and Lord Byron. I can’t wait until he compares Les Moore and Loathsome Lillian with the Algonquin Round Table.
Frazz – Susie Jerkins was in a funk. She needed solitude, but how could she be smugly superior to people if no one else was around?
Rex Morgan – As fetishes go, roots country is as annoying as comic books but less nausea inducing than meticulously drawn female legs.
@Philip: Hagar the Horrible: That would be Tom Batiuk’s “Very Important” Viking storyline.
@Her Father, John Darling.: No, CK has dropped Spider-Man from the list.
@Professor Well Actually
MW- Give Libby a top hat and a cane and rename her Peanut. (Apologies to Gil Thorpe)
@Lauralot: Wilbur may be the first case of “Canonical X-Pac Heat.” The audience is tired of the character, other characters are tired of the character, the creator knows everyone is tired of the character, and the creator should know that the character is narratively spent. But the character just keeps appearing without a drop of self-awareness.
Agnes- Curiously the WSJ has an article today: “Medicare PaId Insurers Billions for Questionable Home Diagnoses Watchdog Finds.” Woe be to Agnes, not as dumb as she seems.
HtH: Oh, let it go, Helga. The groom was poor, but he went into a relative growth industry: invading foreign countries and raiding the castles. As for why you and your family are living in a tiny dirt floor hovel, I assume it’s some kind of tax dodge.
MW: How old is Estelle? Old enough to know better (than to tempt fate by saying “If you’re concerned about me marrying Wilbur, that’s not going to happen.)
@Her Father, John Darling.: @Lord Flatulence: I read CK through the Seattle Times link. Yeah, looks like they tidied up the dead links on their list when they added the new stuff like Legend of Bill, Willy Black, and Lara Mmave, Keister of Time.
C-Shaft: If the Shelleys, Lord Byron, and Dr. Polidori kept being interrupted by a sad man wearing fast food containers I assume they would have relocated.
DT: I’m sorry, I was under the impression that Neo-Chicago’s most prominent eyesores had been addressed via Dick shooting them in the back as they “tried to escape.”
Dustin: Dustdad is always regaling his coworkers with tales of his failed diets. They must be eager to change the subject to sports and/or walk away from him.
GT: While the Bucket looks more than ever like a former Burger King where the new owners changed nothing, the lettering on its rooftop sign in the Merrill Era seems designed to trigger an eating disorder.
JP: Declan has got an Excedrin headache this big. Luckily for him it’s breaking up with him.
Luann: Moony Uni’s mascot is a hybrid animal that is in most instances sterile. One can only hope.
Phantom: De Paul’s topical writing stampedes on with its established level of subtlety. Any minute now Mollusk will bellow, “Twitter will never be good again! Never! Ahahahahaha!”
SSmith: If Snuffy uses the same password for everything, does that put him at greater risk for identity theft? That would pretty much just be another short guy telling everyone that he’s Snuffy Smith, wouldn’t it?
MW: @Hibbleton: “…if you’re worried about me marrying Wilbur (crash of symbols)…”
I have to agree with your spell-check on this one. Whenever Wilbur’s name is mentioned, a crash of grawlix symbols like “$#@!$%&!!” seems appropriate.
@Hibbleton: “Anybody want to hear ‘Wonderwall’?”
SFX: axe slice
“Aaauuugghh!”
“Thanks, daddy!”
“No problem Honi, now go out there and get yourself a jarl!”
MW-“You marrying Wilbur was never a concern of mine,” Libby says.
@Ukulele Ike: That would be Lara Yummy, T&A of Time.
@Lord Flatulence:
@Philip: Hagar the Horrible: That would be Tom Batiuk’s “Very Important” Viking storyline.
Yeah, it’s kind of stunning that the Pulitzer committee hasn’t just closed the Fiction submissions for the next prize by now and announced, “It’s all over. We already have our winner. ‘The Burnings’ tour de force cannot possibly be topped. Sally Rooney — sorry, sweetheart, maybe next year. Michael Connelly — fuggettaboutit. Boy, Lord Byron and Mary Shelley sure were lucky that they never had to live in the shadow of Thomas Batiuk.”
@Professor Well Actually: That was the joke.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I have to wash off these temporary tattoos before my next date!”
“I understand”
“But do I really have to be involved?”
“We went over this already”
“I need you to make sure I cleaned off all of the tramp stamp!”
FC: Normal people like us call this stuff dirt but to Jeffy it’s food.
LUANN:. So agreed! Nothing friendlier than drunken ball fans. Indeed, I worked concessions for pro sports and a number of women admitted they didn’t care anything for sports but came to find a man to buy them drinks.
BETTY and FBoFW:. Jealousy is an expensive pleasure.
FG:. Loving the fact the red guys with horns are supposed to be the good guys. I think. Down with stereotypes!
FRAZZ:. I may be alone here but when stressed out, I too find running helpful. And bunnies and deer better not mess with me then.
PLUGGERS:. Admittedly true. It takes a full length mirror to recognize our own hot bodies.
RMMD:. If they combined acts they’d double the gigs but would have only half the income. Or can duets charge more than solo acts?
Luann: I first read this as: “You wearing any body paint?” “Down there or up here?”
It didn’t make sense entirely, but I was ready to laugh at an unexpectedly naughty joke.
CS: This reminds me of that scene in Dark Knight where the ordinary mob guys are listening to the Joker and wondering, “We’re trying to talk business here; who is this costumed nutcase?”
@Tom T.: Luann: I had the same immediate reaction.
@62 Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: What a bunch of nudniks! Thinking anyone would mistake the elegantly beautiful goldfish for ugly Patagonian toothfish. The stupidity, it burns, IT BURNS!
S4: Everyone in this strip is absurdly self-centered, so it’s a little jarring today to have one of the characters come out and acknowledge it. And yes, it’s not great parenting to send a kid to a new school and then display zero interest in how it’s going for them.
MW: Maybe Libby’s opinion on Wilbur would change if she had visions of Wilbur’s fishsona
Six Chex and A Cat Named Frank Gorshin In Search Of A Punchline:”…..but I do a killer Rich Little!”
About a year after my vasectomy I got the nickname Mule from the vintage base ball team I played on. We were at the big festival in Columbus and playing a team called the Mules. One of our players mocked their name because Mules are sterile. I said, “Well, so am I.” And thus I became Mule. And one could only hope – just as we do in Luann – that this was the case. The world did not need a Scratchy Scrotum LXX.
Not going to lie. I call my husband Daddy in reference to his relationship to our dog. I did the same with the last dog, but only after we got married. Pre-marriage, he was Uncle Daddy. I have boundaries. So, you know, Stell – show some dignity.
DT: I love that the artist has centred a wristwatch in this shot. When I think of this storyline so far, “looking at a wristwatch” is exactly what comes to mind.
FC: Remember Sunday, when Josh criticised Family Circus for using a correct word derivation as a punny darndest thing? Well, they’re doubling down, with one where it’s obvious the words are related and the “humour” comes from … Dolly getting the derivation the wrong way round, I guess? That’s it? Join us for the rest of the week, where Dolly explains to an increasingly disgusting PJ “We call it muck ’cause it makes us mucky,” “We call it dust ’cause it makes us dusty,” “We call it filth ’cause it makes us filthy,” and, of course, “We call it mud ’cause it’s what gets kicked off those muddy boots!”
GT: Panels 1 and 2: “Man, it sure was great to see Coach Martinez lambasting those guys for daring to celebrate a win! I mean God knows neither he nor anyone else in this hellhole is going to do anything about their constant verbal abuse, so let’s take what we can get!”
Panels 3 and 4: Okay, this is barely noticable, and maybe I’m imagining it, but I think that some time next month, or maybe next year, Bajaras is going to reveal that Keri has some kind of eating disorder. And when he does, we’ll all go back and be like “Of course! All the clues were there, but it was so subtle I never realised!”
On a third point, does anybody remember who Keri’s dating right now? It’s still Toby, right? I get the impression that, whatever her other faults, Merrill is trying to do a bit more than Wrigham ever did to make Toby, Leo, Pedro and the other one whose name I’ve forgotten look even slightly distinct from each other. But it only works if I know which one’s which in the first place!
Pluggers: Then again, they can’t remember a lot of things.
Zits: In a desperate attempt to not be the dullest dad in comics, Walt tries to steal one of Ted Forth’s many schticks, and comes up short. Don’t worry Walt, being dull isn’t so bad — you could be an asshole like Dustdad!
@Tom T.: I saw somewhat the same thing as you did on Luann but I didn’t go there because I wanted to maintain the elevated tone we have around here (wink.)
MW: Estelle to Libby, “And Libby, if you’re concerned about me marrying Wilbur, well, that’s *not* going to happen!”
Estelle thinks to herself…”Nope! Not gonna happen, not ever, ha ha…as she mimics a defiant Eric Braeden at the end of “Colossus: The Forbin Project” and cries out, “NEVER!!!” and throws her head back and laughs and laughs until she looks around nervously as she spies Mary slowly following her in her car…”Nope, never!! Never ever!” Estelle utters with diminishing fervor as Mary rolls down her drivers window and draws a bead on Stelle with her MagnumMeddle2000 loaded with red pills…
@Old School Allie Cat: #97
It might be a little different with cats…my husband is “the Butler” and I am “the Handmaiden” and we address her as “Your Ladyship” even when she gifts us with a hairball…
HAGAR: I find this marriage-gift reciprocity intriguing. Maybe if you actually liked your future son-in-law or daughter-in-law and their parents, you would try to come up with gifts they would genuinely like, and if not, you aimed for tasteless expense? (“Here, have this fugly shield with small lumps of gold on it!”) Did the entire village know exactly what gifts were being exchanged, so they could admire and/or chortle? I appreciate these bits of history, and I kinda wish I’d taken Anthro 101.
@Daisy: You get hairballs? You’re lucky. All I get is projectile vomit from my cats.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: #103
Ha ha! Well, sometimes Her Ladyship (not her real name, of course…) will relieve herself of her gastric contents on our carpet from time to time…it ain’t pretty…
@Daisy: It is always on the carpet! Doesn’t matter how much hardwood, concrete, or vinyl is around — it is like they “aim” for the carpet.
@Poteet: That subject is interesting to me as well, for personal reasons. When my father (a USAF officer) got engaged to my mother (a Filipino college instructor), the subject of a dowry came up. My father, who was dirt poor at the time, didn’t know quite what to do, but figured he could come up with some chickens or a goat or something like that. My grandfather, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how much HE had to pay to get his youngest daughter married off to a foreigner.
I guess it all worked out in the end.
@Lauralot:
He’s meant to be one of those lovable jerk types who is hated in-story but beloved by audiences.
He’s poorly written, so he more comes across as the regular type.
@Poteet:
#102. HtH:. As I remember from the bad old days, this romance and love thing was barely considered. A marriage was first off a business deal, and the trick was in getting your child married off to someone wealthier.
The bride’s family had to come up with a dowry and the groom’s family with courtesy. Amounts were to be fairly well known, and it was to be a matter of pride to give the new family,/couple a large amount. But in fact often deceit was involved. Thus, all those 19th century comedy of manners.
Sometimes the abrupt change in story lines is disappointing. Take, for example, Sherman’s Lagoon this week. It would have been amusing to see Hawthorn beaten to an inch of his life by angry lagoon-dwellers over the fraudulent fortune-teller machine, but alas, it’s not to be.
@Daisy:
@Old School Allie Cat: #97 It might be a little different with cats…my husband is “the Butler” and I am “the Handmaiden” and we address her as “Your Ladyship” even when she gifts us with a hairball…
Ha haaa, I love this. That’s funny!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: About a year after my vasectomy I got the nickname Mule from the vintage base ball team I played on. We were at the big festival in Columbus and playing a team called the Mules. One of our players mocked their name because Mules are sterile. I said, “Well, so am I.” And thus I became Mule.
Small world. At a vintage base ball game long ago, a young fan pointed to me and said, “Mama, there goes a base ball player!” And the mother, having watched my performance at the bat and on defense, smiled at her and replied, “that’s a Stretch, dear.” I was known by that nickname ever after.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Are people “tired” of Wilbur though? This is a good reminder that Wilbur hasn’t actually appeared in this storyline, and yet, he still dominates the conversation about it. It’s like Wilbur’s a spectre, forever doomed to be haunting over the plot until we finally convinced him to say “ditto” to
Demi MooreEstelle over the rousing chorus of “Unchained Melody.”@Activist:
#108:. Actually, either my training or my memory was flawed. According to Wikipedia, dower and courtesy are property interests in a spouse’s assets.
HtH: Of course the Vikings didn’t have sofas — they had davenports.
Did any notable people reportedly have relations with the davenport – or the sofa?
You were one of the more competent players. So the derivation of Mule is more accurate than Stretch.
But keep at it if you’re looking for a Uecker/Garagiola career.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Probably Wilbur, when he was drunk on mayo.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Hey! No politics!
Besides, that guy’s a classic couch-fucker. Sofas and davenports outclass him by a mile. They don’t even let him buy them a drink.
@Ukulele Ike: I did say “reportedly” as a way to say the story is false. But who doesn’t love a good couch-fucking story so I had to acknowledge it in some way.
Wilbur is the hero of the strip and he will eventually prevail!
Go Wilbur!
The Familiar Mucus: “We call it dog dirt because it comes out of a dog’s hinder.”
o
@Mathmannix: Go Wilbur!
________________
Here he comes here comes Speedo Wilbur,he’s a demon at life Go, Speedo Wilburb! go Speedo Wilbur, go Speedo Wilbur, go!
“SpeedoWilber! Mary Worth climbed into your back seat! And was eaten by the murder monkey you keep in your BVDs!”
@GarrisonSkunk: Garry, have you been in the fermented berries again? Save some for the Solstice!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Did any notable people reportedly have relations with the davenport – or the sofa?
________________________________________________
“Sofa so good!”- 9Weirdchick Lame’s Amos and Cheddar, repeatedly, until they bought the Fuk-E-Boy lounge chair.
Good snark today people. Thank you
@Formerly Wounded Elk: Will do, F.W.!
Is it legal to parody Weird Al? “It’s the Sofa or the Davenport its the thrill of one boink, rising up as a spring grabs your thing/the last sole survivor with lint and spare change on their junk/for Heaven’s sake don’t release the foot rest!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: But keep at it if you’re looking for a Uecker/Garagiola career.
What’s the difference between the hot dogs served at Yankee Stadium and the ones served at Target Field?
The Yankees’ hot dogs are still for sale in late October.
@128 Just John: I don’t get it.
@Cleveland Mocks: #110
I swear, cats are going to rule the world some day – and the dogs will be their enforcers.
@Baja Gaijin: Target Field is home to the Minnesota Twins. They aren’t going to the World Series like the Yankees. No World Series, no hit dogs.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: #105
Oh, that is so true! Or, there are scratching posts in every room and they still choose to sharpen their claws on the upholstered furniture…
@Baseball Biff: Target Field is home to the Minnesota Twins. They aren’t going to the World Series like the Yankees.
Right. I was just teasing Scratchy about the fact that his beloved Twins once again take a back seat to his nemesis the Yankees.
@Just John: You hit a homer with that one.
Dodgers and Yanks should be a good series.