Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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Hagar the Horrible, 5/24/19

Shoutout to Lucky Eddie for understanding that “torture” goes beyond the usual cartoonish depictions. Hagar and Eddie’s fellow prisoner may not have been subjected to the rack, and may not even have any scars, but years spent chained to the wall in a forced “stress position” — and, more importantly, spent in isolation without meaningful human contact — have clearly reduced him to gibbering madness.

Crock, 5/24/19

What’s more unsettling here? The fact that Crock’s Wise Sage, whose “powers” as depicted in the strip are usually restricted to offering fairly pedestrian advice, is suddenly capable of transforming Captain Poulet into a car — presumably a car in which the Captain’s mind is forever trapped, and screaming? Or the implication that women everywhere want to own, or possibly fuck, the Batmobile?

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Hagar the Horrible, 5/8/19

I guess it looks like Merlin is joining the cast of Hagar the Horrible regulars, even though strictly speaking he’s a figure from 6th century Britain and not 10th century Norway. Still, this strip fits in well with the overall Hagar the Horrible milieu: in an era of widespread illiteracy, Eddie’s ability to scratch out a few runes makes him seem almost magical to his fellow Vikings.

Family Circus, 5/8/19

Are those … stink lines coming out of Jeffy’s bowl? Has feeding time in the Kean Kompound devolved so far into chaos that the kids are getting spoiled milk in their breakfast cereal? My god, just think of the farting. The farting. What a nightmare!

Mark Trail, 5/8/19

Doc may be an addled old man who believes in magic gold mines, but you gotta give him this: when he hears what might be a swarm of bees, or maybe an armed Predator drone, he doesn’t stand around like a sitting duck loudly saying stuff like “Hey, everyone, listen to the sound! Do you hear the sound?” or “The sound is a buzzing sound” or “Yeah, what is that sound, the buzzing sound we’re all talking about?” He just throws on his backpack and gets the hell out of there.

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Mary Worth, 5/5/19

Some might say this is “Arthur” revealing his true face, and it is … just not the way you think. Our slovenly scammer has come to realize that Estelle will never, ever give up on him unless he makes it truly obvious that he is not and never was the man she loves. Rather than just abruptly ceasing to take her calls and leaving her bereft of both love and closure, he’s decided to make his own bad intentions as clear as possible, really leaning into the scumbaggery, in order to establish a clean break. Look at how riled up he is in that final panel! Surely such a skilled con artist would never let his emotions run away with him in the midst of his act; no, this is pure method acting, and in its own way an act of love, to help Estelle get over him as soon as possible.

Pluggers, 5/5/19

There’s exactly one tiny chair within viewing distance of that television, so I’m assuming that Henrietta Beak is unfamiliar not just with the remote but with TV generally, as her husband spends most of his waking hours sitting there while she tends to the kitchen or whatever. She’s in for a steep learning curve as she tries to find her favorite shows. “What channel is the DuMont Network? Why won’t the TV Guide tell me the schedule for this ‘Net-flicks’ channel?”

Hagar the Horrible, 5/5/19

Good Lord, in order to assuage his deep and profound loneliness, Hamlet has demanded that this pagan sorcerer pull living souls from the aether! Sure, these children will make Hamlet’s birthday more fun, but will their very presence in our world unbalance the structure of reality? Merlin, you’ve gone too far this time!