Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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Gil Thorp, 7/5/19

Welp, now that we got the whole Jaquan-Hadley backstory set up, how about jumping into … another storyline from days past!!!! This one is from last fall, when it turned out that transfer student Tiki Jansen was using an empty apartment as his address so he could go to Milford, because he “got crosswise” with the bad kids at his old school. How will these plots come together? Will fighting lawyer Hadley V. Baxendale represent Tiki pro bono? Or, since his parents can apparently afford to rent an entire apartment for address fraud purposes, represent him pro very very, expensive-o?

Hagar the Horrible, 7/5/19

How many long-winded word balloons like Eddie’s in panel one will we have to endure before his mother’s brother finally invents the word “uncle”?

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Dustin, 6/28/19

I’m on the record as saying that the Dustin picking-up-girls-in-bars strips seem wildly out of touch with the actual millennial experience of romance. But the fact that this young woman has brought her laptop to the bar on her evening out, presumably because she’s an semi-willing participant in the “gig economy” and the line between her work and personal life has been obliterated? And instead of having access to a professional IT help desk she needs to ask for tech support from random dudes in bars in order to keep the equipment she needs to earn a living in working order? That all checks out.

Judge Parker, 6/28/19

While we’re all waiting to find out who Judge Parker Emeritus’s prison patron is about to be, I want to draw your attention to whatever fruit our big beareded bruiser is holding. Is that a kiwi? Is Judge Parker Emeritus in some fancy prison where they serve kiwis? This is frankly unsatisfying.

Hagar the Horrible, 6/28/19

I’m very much enjoying Hagar’s smile in panel two. “That’s right lady, I give my wife nice things that I stole from royalty, who I rob and murder, I’m a god damned Viking and people better recognize.

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Hagar the Horrible, 5/24/19

Shoutout to Lucky Eddie for understanding that “torture” goes beyond the usual cartoonish depictions. Hagar and Eddie’s fellow prisoner may not have been subjected to the rack, and may not even have any scars, but years spent chained to the wall in a forced “stress position” — and, more importantly, spent in isolation without meaningful human contact — have clearly reduced him to gibbering madness.

Crock, 5/24/19

What’s more unsettling here? The fact that Crock’s Wise Sage, whose “powers” as depicted in the strip are usually restricted to offering fairly pedestrian advice, is suddenly capable of transforming Captain Poulet into a car — presumably a car in which the Captain’s mind is forever trapped, and screaming? Or the implication that women everywhere want to own, or possibly fuck, the Batmobile?