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Hagar the Horrible, 8/7/18

Eddie, I’m sorry to report that, while ants don’t have organs that are homologous to human ears, they do have what’s called a subgenual organ, located below the ant’s femur and tibia leg joint, that can detect vibrations and thus help the ant detect and interpret most of what we think of as sound. If it makes you feel any better, though, ants can’t understand language, not even cruel insults, and neither do they have the sort of grasp of cause and effect that would allow them to construct a weird narrative loop where you come up with an answer to the question meant to shield you from the cutting response to that very answer.

Mark Trail, 8/7/18

Wow, Rusty’s finally figured out that maybe people don’t like it when you “translate” their weird foreign name into your language when you talk to them? But in case you’re worried this strip is getting too “politically correct,” it only occurred to Rusty that Jo(s)e was Mexican when he became comically sleepy.

Dennis the Menace, 8/7/18

There’s nothing more menacing than acting out not because you’re angry, not even because you’re cruel, but because you’re a bottomless pit of need and can feel no emotion other than a thrumming voice that yells WHY AREN’T THEY LOOKING AT ME.

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Hagar the Horrible, 7/23/18

The question of whether Hagar and his contemporaries are Christians or adherents to the old Norse pantheon is one that comes up often on this blog. But I guess these existential questions are best answered for all of us when we die, and Hagar’s looming demise is telling us a lot about who he served. Those aren’t angels, those are the servants of Ba‘al Zəbûb, Lord of the Flies.

Dick Tracy, 7/23/18

Good news, everyone! Sawtooth and Grimm did not manage to kill Dick Tracy while disguised as lovable bread-men! I myself am not a henchman for a criminal syndicate, but I really wonder: is admitting that you need medical attention because you’ve been shot, with a gun, enough for you to lose your “tough guy” status? Do transportation arrangements really trump a seeping bullet wound when setting priorities? I guess this is just further proof that I’m not cut out for the crime biz!

Gil Thorp, 7/23/18

Ha ha oh God this game is still happening this storyline is still happening this spring will never end

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Gil Thorp, 7/17/18

So it’s mid-July, and Gil Thorp’s “spring” plot is still happening, but at least it seems to be getting to a semi-satisfying climax, which is this: Barry’s mom is sorry she didn’t intervene over the years, but now that her drunk husband is in jail, it’s safe for her to tell her son that, yup, he’s an asshole. Where she really breaks new ground in the world of Gil Thorp is by asserting that becoming an asshole just to get better at high school baseball isn’t actually cool or good. The whole thing is coming off as kind of an intervention with Barry, and I appreciate the tack Ace Reporter Dafne is taking. Barry, so many preppy jocks become intellectual stoner guys in college! High school libertarians are suddenly freshman-year socialists! Why, less than a month ago, Dafne herself was white! All you have to do is not act like every single interaction with another person is a contest for dominance that you’re on the verge of losing and have to pull out all the stops to win! We believe in you! You can do this!

Hagar the Horrible, 7/17/18

An underrated and extremely unsettling running gag in Hagar the Horrible is “Lucky Eddie’s life partner is a mermaid, whose daughter he sold to a zoo.” Anyway, since Hagar and Helga have actually double-dated with Eddie and his fish-woman paramour, I’m not sure why he’s pretending to be ignorant here. C’mon, Hagar, this is a post-The Shape Of Water world here, fishfucking is totally OK now!

Hi and Lois, 7/17/18

Usually it’s Thirsty’s yard that’s depicted as being littered with trash, as one of this strip’s understated class/classiness markers, so I guess you can understand why the visibly rumpled drunkard feels the need to get a little dig in about the Flagstons’ slovenliness. Still, since Hi is Thirsty’s best and, as near as we can tell, only friend, it does seem like an ill-advised move.

Marvin, 7/17/18

FINALLY, MARVIN WILL FACE PROSECUTION FOR HIS MANY CRIMES