I believe in everyone. I believe in you
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Wizard of Id, 7/23/25
I guess in the extremely sketchy world of Wizard of Id characterization, Sir Rodney’s whole deal is that he’s supposed to be a comically effete coward who isn’t equipped for the manly world of knightly battles, but I think the art here really undercuts that notion. Look at his facial expression here, look at the beads of sweat: he’s fought his way to exactly this spot, very deliberately, and while this plan might sound silly to us, Rodney is in fact supremely confident that he has this barbarian exactly where he wants him. I believe him! It’s going to work!
Archie, 7/23/25
The actual punchline here is whatever, but Mr. Lodge casually reading his own autobiography, which is called Me!, is a top-tier Archie gag. I particularly like the fact that there’s just a bag of money on the back cover, where the author photo usually is. I take this to mean that Mr. Lodge paid a ghostwriter to write the book but considers the cash to be the true motive force behind its creation, with the writer being a mere conduit for its power and energy.
178 replies to “I believe in everyone. I believe in you”
WoI: Jimmy on the Knoll (with a Trebuchet) —wasn’t that one of Leiber and Stoller’s?
WoI: I’m hoping “Jimmy on the Knoll” is his full name and am looking forward to the day when he becomes a full-fledged recurring character. Can a spin-off be far behind?
Wizard of Id:
“Here’s one for you, Hun! What would you call it if former star New York Yankee pitcher – now broadcaster – David and you were next to one another in a picture?”
“I give up!”
“Cone ‘n’ The Barbarian!”
9 Chickweed Lane : …this week is Brooke talking about a VERY specific thing in particular, but I don’t know what. He feels VERY strongly about it, though!
************
Archie : …Baja Gaijin was Hiram Lodge this entire time?
***********
Slylock Fox : EXTRA DIFFERENCE : In the panel on the right, this is just a sudden spooky moment the youth will soon forget. In the panel on the left, the youth had just finished saying “Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. If I am to strike terror in their hearts, I must become a creature of the night. Something dark, terrible…” and what will happen next the world won’t soon forget.
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Wizard of Id : the joke is supposed to be that Sir Rodney has no backup or reinforcements, and his belief that a hidden sniper will save him is just a coping delusion, right? The strip could have tried harder to get THAT across, because as it is, there’s every reason to believe Rodney is correct and Barbarian Buttchin
*is about to be squished by a giant boulder.*Why is it all hairy and dirty? It makes it look even MORE like an actual butt, it’s so gross!Blondie/Curtis: Today, in “One Word Translations”…..
Wizard of Id:
“My friend Jimmy back there is going to catapult you to greater heights!”
Archie: Okay, Mr. Lodge, I’ll give you that one.
MW: Knowing the history of Mary Worth and Karen Moy’s writing style this year, it wouldn’t surprise me if “Olive” was portrayed by Wilbur in drag.
MW: Yesterday I was thinking we needed to hear first how Mary’s flight was and I see I was correct in my prediction.
We ain’t seeing the newer, older “improved”(?) Olive until the Sunday spread.
Isn’t Mr Lodge aware that rejecting his daughter’s boyfriend will make her even more attached to him? Or is it a form of reverse psychology? Mr Lodge is aware that Archie is fundamentally kind and he would rather have his daughter date him rather that kids from rich families, in whose presence you need to cover your drink — you know, Reggie
@Pozzo: This is the middle ages, so his nickname can become a full surname: Jimmy On The Knoll. His descendants, the Connecticut Ontnols are into finance and international trade.
In case you’re wondering what kind of party a millionaire throws that requires a clown in attendance is answered by the look on Archie’s face in the last panel when he realizes he’s about to be passed around.
love is… a mug shot.
MW: “We’ve had to keep Olive locked up; she insists on using her powers for evil. That’s why we invited you. Don’t get too close to the bars.”
RMMD: Are we SURE they’re not related? They’re both numbingly boring.
WoI: “So, damsels, amirite? And what’s with our armor getting tarnished all the time? Somebody, please, invent steel wool! And those dragons! Somebody, please, invent breath mints!”
I hope “Jimmy on the Knoll” is Jimmy’s name, because the definite article suggests that there is only one knoll – in which case Rodney is clearly on it…
Comics for children, with their cartoonish exaggeration lend themselves to a simplified description of capitalism, depicted as amoral celebration of material wealth. This is why it was so easy for the (((Globalist))) elite to conquer them and corrupt the youth of America. In this Substack post I will…
WoI: What is the yellow thing in his armpit?
RMMD:
“I yearn for a true biological father. I yearn for a relationship with my half-siblings. And I yearn for a continuing relationship with you, even though you’re not my biological kin.”
“Why do you yearn for all those things, Cody?”
“Because I…am…’I yearn’ man!”
****
R.I.P. Ozzie. Whatever you thought of his music, lifestyle or demeanor, he was an original.
Id: I misread “Jimmy on the Knoll” and thought this was a joke about Jimmy Kimmel’s late night show monologues. Then I saw “witty” and realized, no, it’s not him.
Sally Forth: Hilary is holding up four fingers when she says she has three tickets.
That’s what happens when cartoonists try to draw a real hand instead of the normal three fingers and a thumb.
Mr Lodge is reading his biography and wondering if maybe he shouldn’t have included the parts where he visits Jeffrey Epstein on his private island.
WoI — What Sir Rodney doesn’t know is that there’s a shadowy figure with a *second* trebuchet on the knoll. . .
Archcomic — Archie suddenly realizes that the “court jester” position in the Lodge household isn’t going to be the gravy job he had envisioned. . .
The Wizard of Id: Ooh, a symbolic story dramatizing the conflict between heavy and light infantry supported by artillery! Show us the importance of air supremacy next! Or, you know, call the king a fink again, it’s Wednesday, we’ll take what we can get.
The Family Circus: Actually, Dolly, “PG” stands for “Pigs Grunt” so make sure you do lots of that real loud while you watch the movie.
Pluggers are better than everyone else is the best Pluggers.
Family Circlejerk – Did they just leave P. J. at the snack stand.
@Ettorre: You laugh, but I actually saw an academic lay out six things he was going to say in a blog post. He may not have entirely understood the format…
As Mary describes her trip and the news that she took a refreshing nap, I wondered if ChatGPT could do better. Here goes:
Mary Worth, ever composed and confident, stepped onto the airplane with her signature calm and reassuring smile. The gate attendant gave her a polite nod—something about her presence always seemed to command quiet respect. Dressed in a smart lavender suit and carrying a leather handbag with everything from crossword puzzles to peppermint lozenges, she looked every bit the seasoned traveler.
It was a midday flight from Santa Royale to New York, and the sky was perfectly clear—a fact Mary noted with a nod of approval as she settled into her aisle seat in row 7. She had booked it intentionally, close to the front, to minimize time spent boarding and disembarking. Efficiency was, after all, a form of kindness.
As the engines rumbled to life and the plane began to taxi, Mary offered a warm smile to the nervous young woman sitting beside her. “First flight?” she asked gently. The woman nodded, her knuckles white against the armrest.
Mary reached into her handbag and produced a wrapped candy. “Peppermint. It helps with the ears. And the nerves.” The woman laughed, relaxing slightly, and the two struck up a gentle conversation. By the time they were cruising at 30,000 feet, Mary had learned that her seatmate was flying to visit a sister she hadn’t seen in years. Naturally, Mary offered thoughtful advice about mending family ties—without ever sounding intrusive.
The flight passed peacefully. Mary read a few chapters of a new mystery novel, completed the in-flight sudoku, and sipped ginger ale with lemon. At one point, she gently intervened when a child grew restless two rows up, engaging him in a brief game of “I Spy” until he giggled and settled down.
As the plane descended toward LaGuardia, the city lights twinkling below, Mary looked out the window with a thoughtful expression. “Travel,” she mused to no one in particular, “reminds us how big the world is—and how much we still have to learn about each other.”
When the wheels touched down and passengers began collecting their things, the woman beside her turned and said, “Thank you. I didn’t expect to feel so calm.”
Mary simply smiled. “Sometimes,” she said, “all we need is a little kindness at 30,000 feet.”
And with that, she stepped off the plane, ready to bring her particular brand of quiet wisdom to the East Coast—for a visit, of course. Santa Royale would always be home.
The Far Side: Meet the cast!
MW: “OK, enough of you two, where’s that dear, sweet, remarkable teenage daughter of yours who I have a lifelong soulmate bond with? The girl who has a special place in my heart. My kindred spirit, who I will always have a connection wi-”
“Um, hey, yeah, this has been great. Guess you’ll be heading back to California now…”
MW: “Where IS Olive?”
“Robbing a bank; how else could we afford this place??”
Archie: Mr. Lodge has a point. Clowning has a traditional set of exercises starting with selecting a clown archetype (whiteface, auguste or tramp) and building through gesture, expression, movement and running gags to develop a coherent character, separate and distinct from the person playing the character. Archie’s just Archie with bigger hair, different-colored freckles and the same lack of humor.
Curtis: The title character misunderstands Grammy Pearl’s request that he read to her something by (Martin Luther?) King. Hilarity does not ensue.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: ChatGPT manages to make Mary Worth sound like a kind great-aunt who has a tendency to ramble on, giving her far more warmth than the smug narcissist that gets off to the sound of her own voice.
@Astroboy: Now that would be the appropriate ending for this story.
MW: She’s in prison. Visitation isn’t until 8 am tomorrow.
Curtis: what is happening with this woman’s breasts in the first panel? Grammy-Pearl asking Curtis to read her the 230,000 declassified MLK files is actually pretty funny. But how did Ray Billingsley know that those files were about to be made publicly available?
Also Archie: A man goes to see a doctor, complaining of being lovelorn, depressed, and conflicted about his feelings of horniness toward every girl he meets.
“I recommend you go to see Archie tonight,” the doctor says. “He lifts every spirit.”
“But Doctor,” says the man, “I am Archie.”
“We don’t treat sad clown paradox in this clinic,” says the doctor. “I’ll write you a referral to Mary Worth.”
There was one Archie comic I read, where Betty and Reggie hatched a plan so Betty would have Archie to herself and Reggie would have Veronica.
Subliminal brainwashing.
They put a tape recorder outside Archie’s window while he was sleeping repeating: “I love Betty, I love Betty, I love Betty” and one outside Veronica’s window that said the same for Reggie.
Then the next day to see if it would work, Archie comes to school talking about how much he loves Betty. Then he bumps into Veronica and says to her “Hi Betty!”
Veronica: Hi Reggie! (they start kissing)
Haha it’s funny because Betty and Reggie broke their minds.
Wizard of Id: Is trebuchet-based humor cool now? All those years of playing Dungeons & Dragons are finally starting to pay off!
@LTJpezcore1: “Well, you don’t expect someone like me, the great Mary Worth who saved your daughter’s life, to stay at a Holiday Inn, do you? Who cares about you being tens of thousands of dollars in debt when I want to be sponging off your generosity for two weeks?”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: This is pretty good. The writers of MW should worry – AI is going to take their jobs!
WoI – Witty repartee…the WoI…they’re digging skinny’s grave right now….
Archie – Next Halloween the gag will be, Archie is going as Jeffrey Epstein…you know…to look less pervey….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Wizard of Id – Sir Rodney is hoping to expand his character from being a mere coward to an confident, if foolhardy, warrior. If a long running comics character can not only change their outlook on themselves, as well as trust their fellow soldiers in ways they couldn’t before, then we can all make those changes to those negative characteristics we think we are incapable over overcoming.
Archie – Mr. Lodge is too busy with business to write his own autobiography, but he can always make time to put Archie down. Should Archie ever marry Veronica, Mr. Lodge will write a wedding toast so full of roasts and pointed insults that Don Rickles will stand up from the grave to applaud him
Sir Rodney may be about to die, but at least he’ll be fashion forward on his way out. Colour coordinating his spear with his teal armour? He slays in more ways than one!
***
Mr. Lodge almost definitely had a ghostwriter author the book, but he did probably did the graphic design on the cover himself which is why “H. Lodge” is wedged in at the top by the title careful not to overlap his face and on the spine where the title would normally be printed for the side view instead of a full “Hiram Lodge” at the bottom like any proper publisher would do. Or the publisher is using AI these days which, now that I think about it, sigh.
MW: Yesterday I was crestfallen when several comments noted that Mary and Olive have been doing video chats, so most of our speculations about Olive — gone punk, drug addict, sex change — were impossible. But then I remembered that video software does avatars, so Olive could have been replacing herself with the sweet child Mary is clearly expecting. Hooray! Anything is possible again!
DT: Two days of consoling characters – will tomorrow make it three in a row.
JP: We now see why April was such a valuable asset in the “world of adventure”. She is easy to anger, create a scene and strike out violently. Exactly the type of person most useful in black ops, espionage and general illegal / grey zone activities.
RMMD: Now deliver the real reason he came to hunt down Truck – he needs a transplant.
MW: After this build up what Olive have become in a short period of time since the last face time? Face tattoo? Mohawk hair do with nose piercing? Complete Blue Man group committment? Pin Head look? Or most creepy of all, she is a mini Mary Worth!
I knew Mr. Lodge didn’t like Archie, but I didn’t think he was afraid of him. I think the tables may have just turned in this relationship.
@MKay: I mean, everyone in Rex Morgan is numbingly boring, so that doesn’t mean much.
No, Pluggers, you absolutely do not mean it. “Have a nice day” is conversational filler, just like it is when everybody else says it. But this is how *you* were taught to act, so you’re going to force everyone else to act the same way, because forcing your dubious values on others is Plugger Behavior #1. And if we don’t, you’ll act all hurt that we didn’t reciprocate your empty greeting in the way you require. Even though you’re a generation and a half removed from raising children, and society is just waiting for you to die so we can leave most of your shitty, arbitrary values in the past. Speaking of which: aren’t you overweight, lazy, addicted to junk food, and like 95 years old? Have a nice day, then bury yourself.
Jimmy, on the knoll, pulled the lever and the counterweight dropped, the swing arm roared to life, and the stone hurtled toward Rodney and his foe. Overshot, maybe two hundred yards. With a sigh, Jimmy ordered the team to crank the arm back into place and looked for a heavier stone. This is so much easier when you’re bombarding a town, he thought, as Rodney’s lifeblood seeped into the fertile earth.
DT: Ask your doctor if Sphyrna is right for you.
MW: Evy calls Olive into the room.
“Oh, Olive. Come in here. Here she comes. Oh, what a good girl.”
In trots a happy Dachshund.
Shocked and speechless, Mary enters a fugue state.
“She’s always been such a good little dog. I hope she remembers you.” Says Ed.
@Ken: I just want Olive to be a normal 14-year-old girl. No 14-year-old wants to hang out with a 60-year-old, unless they want someone to buy alcohol and/or cigarettes for them. That’d be plenty to puncture Mary’s “kindred spirits” fantasy.
If Karen Moy needs a realistic example of how a petulant, selfish, hormone-addled 14-year-old acts, I refer her to Wilbur Weston.
Jimmy, with trebuchet on knoll;
Is an alright fellow on the whole.
While he takes his time sighting,
Poor Rodney is fighting,
With a monologue that’s anything but droll.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: More realistically, it should have been a YouTube/TikTok rant while driving the car
@Morgan Wick: Well, Archie does tend to accidentally destroy everything that he touches when he visits, no matter how priceless the artifact.
Archie: Sorry Hiram, but you are not, and never will be, Scrooge McDuck.
FC: Jeffy turns to his brother. “Only a girl would think a movie about pigeons is pretty good.”
MW-“Thankfully I didn’t have to sit among the common folk.”
FC-Later on. “Well that movie was pretty awful.”
MW: I think this would be a great time for them to introduce Mary to their OTHER child, little Wilbur, whom they welcomed into the family shortly after moving east from Charterstone.
Wizard of Id: Being a fantasy realm, maybe he meant a character named “Jimmy Onda Gnoll” who commands an entire Gnoll army to slaughter the oppressors, and then eat everyone (Including Rodney) because they’re Hyena people.
@Charterstoned: “Wilbur is a good boy… a good good boy….”
MW: “I even took a refreshing NAP!”
So did we, Mary. So did wezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
“Olive’s out, Mary, but we did want to introduce you to the new triplets, Capers, Cocktail Onion, and Lemon Twist!”
@The Rambling Otter: I wonder if Ed and Evy have a cornfield…?
Commedia dell’Archie was a short-lived form of improvisational theater. Very short-lived. One performance. Even Jughead booed it.
@But What Do I Know?: Trebucheted bullets: Weirdest JFK assassination theory yet!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Let’s go for a drive around the city, Abundio”
“Good idea, Juan!”
“Should we use your car or mine?”
“I have to use mine!”
[Sign: WARNING! JUAN S. PERFIL IS A TWO-TIMING RAT]
“It’s in the terms of my divorce settlement”
@Ken: After the Belle Batsfrey debacle, it is clearly folly to assume that anything that ensues in Mary Worth will logically follow what has already been established.
CS: So it looks like Crankshaft destroyed Jeff’s Blue Bombers shirt, and this will be the catalyst for them to go to a game in person. What day do you think we get the Funkyverse staple “Jeff asks Pam for permission” strip? Because there’s no way this story is happening without “Jeff” dealing with his mommy issues.
Archie: Sorry, Mr. Lodge, but Mel Brooks’ All About Me! beat you to the memoir title punch. (Good book, btw; check it out if you haven’t)
WoI: Can you aim a trebuchet with enough accuracy to hit one man but miss the man standing roughly spear’s-length away from him? Asking for a legacy comic character.
Archie: If you look closer, you’ll see the book’s blurb is by Scrooge McDuck.
Crankshaft: We are 4 1/2 weeks away from the Labour Day Classic, where the Blue Bombers face off against their rivals, the Saskatchewan Roughriders. As much as I like the idea of us Americans getting more CFL exposure I dread the idea that this arc will continue to the end of August.
Gasoline Alley: I can speak from experience: We see something akin to real life here.
Luann and Bernice have dreamt of being booth bunnies, and today it comes true! Sort of.
The Lockhorns: The modern connected vending machine, with a camera and audio input and output, will be both Exhibit A and on the witness stand for Leroy’s upcoming trial.
BG&SS Isn’t that axiom about hunting, not chicken-thieving? Or am I just a suburban elite who will never understand the ways of Real Americans in the heartland?
FC: After all the Bent Key swill they’ve been getting at home this PG movie is gonna blow their minds.
H&L: They bought the new Alexa which can read your thoughts, Trixie. Twelve straight hours of “You Light up my Life”, “Sunshine on my Shoulders”, and “You Are my Sunshine” will be the prison therapist’s conclusion as to how you became a serial killer.
@Dan: Deep cut.
Both today’s Archie, and Josh’s commentary on it, are exact re-runs from 2010: https://joshreads.com/2010/07/the-clown-who-only-wanted-love/; am I the only person who’s read through the entire CC archives multiple times?
C’shaft: Oh no, Jeff has lost a basic logo shirt from a professional sports team, an object that clearly cannot be replaced by going to the merch page on the team’s website, or on Amazon if he really, REALLY needs it there sooner!
DT: Ask your doctor if Sphyrina is right for you.
Dustin: “Also blithe ignorance of and/or indifference to the consequences of our own mismanagement of the world we were given and which we’ve carelessly saddled our offspring with. But mostly the memory thing.”
Luann: What fans? You ordered a bunch of books from a vanity publisher and bought costly vendor space to promote a comic absolutely nobody knows about. Your ROI is going to look like the odds for winning the lottery.
MT: Oh sure, Mister “A big ecosystem-disrupting golf course went up in my own neighborhood and this is the first I’m hearing about it”!
MW: “Up in her room–she shouted something about ‘let me know when the old bat leaves’ before slamming and locking her door. Must be some private joke between the two of you.”
Phantom: “Man, I hope I find somebody to punch soon; I’m running out of exposition to recap!”
Pluggers automatically assume they’re better than everyone else.
RMMD: But it still would have been just as boring.
@MP: Also interesting to note with these archives, Mary Worth apparently took on a psychiatrist role at some point.
I would love to see the context with that (actually I really don’t care, Wilbur has numbed me towards anything interesting about Mary Worth)
Archie: If you look at the silhouettes long enough, you see a merged map of Delaware and Serbia.
Wizard Of Id: I guess the concept of danger close hasn’t been condified in the fanciful medieval world these characters inhabit. That’s alright. Rodney will probably be receiving a nice demonstration of it once that trebuchet fires.
Archie: Unfortunately, Mr. Lodge’s witticism may be the thing that finally pushes Archie over the edge like a certain other clown. What do you get when you cross a freckled loser comic book star with a future father-in-law who rightfully hates him? I’ll tell you what you get. You get what you fucking deserve!
Archie-“Sorry, Veronica, but your makeup doesn’t do anything to distract me from Archie’s redhair.”
GT: Pinewood Summer Camp is famous nationally for its lip augmentation programs.
MW: “Olive is at Pinewood Summer Camp. This summer she wanted bigger lips and a brief affair with Peanut Thorp.”
FG: “Flash is now very awake — and horny.”
Interplanetary Adventurer’s Tip: Do NOT just go ahead and swallow any drink a Foreman hands you. Especially if he refers to it as “nitro juice.”
Archie’s sad clown face is pretty awesome.
But Mr. Lodge clearly used AI to write the book and put a picture of the money he saved by stiffing a human on the back as a power move. The proleteriat is on notice now!
MW: there must be some reason for the agonizingly slow reveal. Well it’s Karen Moy so maybe not but Mary’s panties will be crazy wet by the time she sees Olive.
JP: April has escaped from the now-unstaffed coffee shop and is out on the mean streets of Santa Claus Town, ready for a Norwegian-punching rampage.
DT: Women scientists are just too emotional for science jobs. Even women lesbian scientists.
So the REAL Dick Tracy Villian in this case is going to be Sphyrna. Who will be sphere-shaped. Tess and Roberta need to meet with her in her private office, because she doesn’t fit through the lab door.
Wizard of ID: I’m hoping Jimmy on the Knoll is the frog from Heathcliff. I also hope his trebuchet is using Greek Fire.
Interesting minor fact: The word “trebuchet” is normally pronounced with a hard t at the end (though my Merriam-Webster app shows the silent t as an alternative). Although the word is French, brought over by the cruel Norman overlords, I imagine the Anglo-Saxons had too much fun smashing their distant enemies to care about linguistic subtleties.
There is something about the way the barbarian’s weapon is drawn — the perspective, I guess — that makes it look too 3 dimensional to be a flat sword. Wait, I have it: it’s a popsicle. The barbarian is trying to eat a popsicle in peace and this idiot keeps sticking a pointed stick in his face.
@Nekrotzar: It’s a Go-Pop!
I think Baka EEEEEd and QLUNQd too hard to come here tonight.
@Anonymous: Mr Lodge doesn’t need to travel all the way to Epstein Island, he’s got an underage teen girl right there in his house. And a butler to hold her down.
(note for those who enjoy pedophile humor but draw the line at incest jokes: I mean, of course, Ronnie’s gal-pal Betty! Mr. Lodge will find Mr. Cooper open to a cash deal, as the Coopers are canonically much poorer than the Lodges.)
(note for Betty fans: Well, there’s always Midge. Or Big Ethel.)
@Needless Exposition: She will, however, make muffins and gloops.
Gasoline Alley: They’ve gone out of their way every day to emphasize that the waitress is named after a kind of whale.
What exactly does the king pay the wizard for, if not to throw fireballs at invading barbarians?
Actually, never mind, I have a feeling, I don’t want to know.
@Schroduck:
#18. WoI: and I automatically thought he was referring to the he man who may or may not have killed President Kennedy.
Pluggers: That’s right. Only pluggers engage in polite conversation. The rest of us Philistines tell everybody we meet to eat shit and die.
GT: Wait a sec, what’s Peanut doing at summer camp? Shouldn’t she be patronizing one of Berlin’s famous leather bars?
@Tom T.: Yeah, Scancerelli thinks her name is an absolute scream.
It beggars belief that somebody asked Baleen to marry him. Are we betting on a heretofore concealed sparkling personality, or she’s a really good cook?
WoI: If this is a remake of LOTR’s “The Two Towers” with the standoff between the Riders of Rohan and the Orcs, it doesn’t quite work…
P.S. I hope Rodney ducks when the trebuchet’s projectile heads his way…
CURTIS: Just wait– Granny means Stephen King, and Curtis gets so scared he does a Marvin.
ZITS: A kitchen is sacred space to a cook. Moms flexibility indicates she’s hoping one of the kids will take over that job. Pierce has just been eliminated.
JP: Reena has been left behind to clean up the mess since she’s the level headed one.
FRAZZ: Love Ms Plainwells observation– only one way to go.
BF: and for Susan, the one way to go is OUT. Run! Or reform this new sour business
GA: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Shockingly still true. And many prefer a full-figured partner
MW: and the way to a teen’s heart is to defend her against her ‘rents.
@Activist: Curtis may actually be in the Stephen King story “Gramma.” He’s in for a big surprise…
@Dr. Larry Erhardt:
#98. CURTIS: Oh my gosh, I just read a summary of the story! If Curtis doesn’t do a Marvin, he’ll at least do a Barry. Or maybe be a hero and lock up the evil spirit.
DT: Ooh, Costello’s discovered the Echo Cut! Maybe next he’ll discover it works best when the transition happens in a single strip, so readers notice it happened without scrolling backwards! (Good thing nobody reads this stuff in the newspaper any more, right?)
FC: “The movies Mommy takes us to see are Pretty Good, but the movies Mommy and Daddy see on their own are X-cellent.”
MW: “It was thankfully uneventful!” is basically this entire storyline in a nutshell. I hate to say it, but at least things happen to the Westons!
SH: “Gill, your shooting accuracy is amazing, considering that up to now you’ve been using a puffer fish that can steer itself and travel under its own power as a ball!”
“True, but the cartoonist has decided to completely ignore that point, while simultaneously drawing attention to it at every opportunity!”
Curtis: I thought she was talking about Martin Luther King Jr.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Yup, Keri didn’t want to be so far from “Brit” – are we supposed to believe Keri was allowed to stay while Jami went to Berlin with the mom, because Keri has a camp counselor job the parents couldn’t be bothered to consider when buying plane tickets for this? and the camp said if Keri wasn’t there to start, don’t bother coming in two weeks after the trip = no job and then Gil and Mimi have to handle Keri all summer and they clearly don’t want that
@Melissa Anne Jones:
#102. CURTIS: I hope you’re right. After The Exorcist, I’ve been avoiding horror like… heck.
Mary Worth – Mary took a refreshing nap, instead of the exhausting, depressing naps she usually takes.
Pad pad pad. Moy is determined to drag this out until Sunday before we see Olive.
9CL – I knew that it’s Thorax week, but I clicked on this anyway. Nope. I’m not bothering to read that pompous wall of text.
Edge City (GoComics) – When Mr. Jive and I were first married, the couch we bought couldn’t make the turn from the narrow hallway to the living room. We had to bring it into the apartment through a window.
Pluggers – Yes, and they’re smug about being literal minded.
Pluggers think that the other person really means it when someone greets them with “How are you?” They immediately launch into a twenty minute list of everything that’s wrong with them. Twenty-five if they’ve recently had a colonoscopy.
Ripley’s – If the Seinfeld Beef-A-Reeno episode is correct, that gas will come out.
FC – All of the popcorn in those three tubs will be all over the floor before the previews are over.
@Treetown: Re RMMD – Now one of the half siblings, instead of Truck, will wake up in a bathtub full of ice.
@Tom T.: Gasoline Alley: They’ve gone out of their way every day to emphasize that the waitress is named after a kind of whale.
That’s just part of this strip’s tendency to have the characters constantly stating each other’s names because Jim thinks we readers need constant reminders of who everyone is. It gets really bad when the kids are interacting with Walt’s caretaker Gertie.
The real gag in Wizard of Id is that a trebuchet is an “Almost Only Counts” weapon and is as likely to wipe Rodney out as it is his opponent. Think of it as a medieval atomic bomb only with less finesse.
Nice cropping on the picture on Facebook to make it look like Veronica is shouting up Hiram’s butt, which no doubt is how everyone feels talking to him.
@The Quiet Man: We ain’t seeing the newer, older “improved”(?) Olive until the Sunday spread.
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So, Olive can loaf for a few days.
Barbarian Warthog Man chuckles, recalling a good moment in Cheers. Rodney now must defeat laughter!
The Familliar Mucus: I like how Thel is at the ready with that shaken bottle of Tab™ to spray the Mellonhead who acts up first.
@ttenchantr: The real gag in Wizard of Id
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Ttenchantr: “Wizard Of Id’s got gags!”
Wizard: “Now I must kill him!”
Oh, Archie. Always knew you had it in you.
@I speak Jive: Mary Worth – Mary took a refreshing nap,
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Did she give it back? Nap theft is a serious offense in NYC, not just a slap on the wrist like in Santa Royale!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: That’s all I know about ChatGPT, and that’s all I want to know.
If Mr. Lodge is hiring a clown for a party, yet he finds them “creepy”
Huh?
@I speak Jive: In the GoComics continuity, Abby and Len can’t get the new china hutch through the front door. In the Comics Kingdom continuity, Abby and Len’s patio is occasionally dampened by the neighbors’ lawn sprinkler.
These guys make Blondie and Dagwood’s lives seem like an endless avalanche of sensation and emotion.
@Tom T.: The whales are considering a lawsuit.
@Ukulele Ike:
It beggars belief that somebody asked Baleen to marry him.
___________________________________________________________
_She has access to eggs, it might have been Slim,himself.
Archie: Archie’s bespoke clown getup includes a curly wig that matches his natural hair color and three green freckles in the pattern of his own freckles. Not the disguise job to wear if you’re going to pull a holdup.
@Little Guy: Bwahaha!
@Poteet: Oh, ChatGPT is fun and you should try it! Yesterday I used it to figure out why A Grave Mind was so mad at Tony Randall and learned that some people used to find him “overbearing.” Today I finally learned why people put cream in their coffee but milk in their tea. And last week I had it paint me a really great Renaissance Crucifixion with Popeye in it.
This explains why the whales broke off contact with the space probe! The whales sent a message to humanity…”Do as you wish, take our blubber, turn us into violets, exterminate us completely! Just whatever you do,don’t put us in “Gasoline Alley”!
@GarrisonSkunk: Sounds like the police were asleep.
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, I read both versions. I started following EC when reruns of old strips started several years ago. I don’t dislike it, but it’s not a favorite. I guess I like it enough that I continue to read it.
@The Rambling Otter: If Mr. Lodge is hiring a clown for a party, yet he finds them “creepy”
Huh?
__________
Its for Josh’s belated birthday party.
@Ukulele Ike: Please tell me the reason for the cream in coffee but milk in tea. I drink tea with milk, although I’ve occasionally used half and half that I had left over from using in a recipe. Cream seems to be too rich for tea.
@I speak Jive: @GarrisonSkunk: Sounds like the police were asleep.
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Must have been Muldoon and Toody.
@Hibbleton, @The Rambling Otter: The clown isn’t for Mr. Lodge’s party. It’s for his neighbor’s daughter’s party.
Probably of more interest to Scratchy Scrotum: Veronica in a revealing halter top informing Archie that she wants the clown to “juggle a few balls.”
I read Archie so the rest of you don’t have to!
9CL: Pretty sure what this wall of text is describing is the thing commonly known as perjury, which is very much not legal, but then if you’re getting legal advice from 9 Chickweed Lane your problems are greater than I’m prepared to address.
C-Shaft: Can we be in the middle of a spiel where it takes us until the weekend to find out what happened to Jeff’s damn Winnipeg shirt? (Extremely Obama voice) Yes, we can.
DT: “Sphyrna” is the genus name for hammerhead sharks. Adjust your expectations for on-the-nose character art accordingly.
Dustin: If there were ever an older man who was a real bundle of joy and eager to spread it around, it’s Dustdad.
JP: Neddy’s right. When a forty-year-old woman in a leather jacket is out power walking you, at the very least, don’t want to be directly in front of her.
MT: Weird how the pop-culture-savvy writing just makes Mark look dumber and dumber.
MW: Mary, of course, has the seat facing the Fourth Wall. Even when Olive comes down we’ll spend some time just looking at the back of her head.
Ziggy: No, I’m sorry, I can’t handle Ziggy as Norma Desmond. My mind can’t make that leap.
@Poteet:
#116. MW: it wouldn’t be so creepy if we knew how it was put together in an insentient machine. And came with a disclaimer “written by an insentient machine.”
#106 RMMD: Truck is probably too old for organ theft anyway, not if the thieves follow protocol. I’d released organs for donation since age 18, and got a letter a few years back saying I was now off their list as my organs had exceeded Use By date.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Nope! As we’ve seen in Luann and Rex Morgan M.D., hanging around boring old geezers is the hottest Gen Z trend since TikTok. Geez, get with the program, Boomer!
By the way, did anyone think to warn Baja about Archie?
Speaking of phobias, I hope tomorrow we’ll have the grace to tell BAJA we missed him but refrain from teasing him. Triggering events are no joke.
MT: Well, Mark, it appears that your entire brain took several months off in regard to this golf course, which was a total revelation to you even though it was apparently built next to LoFo. And “several months” is assuming that County LoFo doesn’t even have modern niceties like land-use planning, permits, zoning, etc.
Next step in your quest for knowledge, Mark — scrunch up your face really hard and try to figure out if there is any way that water from the golf course could be reaching your lake. Is the golf course in the lake’s watershed? Does a creek flow from the golf course to the lake? Is there a drainage system? Think really hard, because it seems that just looking at a map might be beyond you.
@Activist: Truck is probably too old for organ theft anyway,
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Truck is SO OLD (how old is he?) his piano is a Stone-way™that he bought new.
BTW, anyone else get a lot of “Something Went Wrong” responses from GoComics? It happened a couple of days ago too.
@I speak Jive: Ripley’s – If the Seinfeld Beef-A-Reeno episode is correct, that gas will come out.
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This too, shall pass.
@The Rambling Otter: Exposure therapy, maybe?
I appreciate that today’s Wizard of Id doesn’t really contain a joke at all.
@I speak Jive: That is EXACTLY how I feel about Edge City. Abby can be an irritating neurotic and the kids are monsters, but Len’s okay. I only wish Nina Paley’s comic about young Jewish marrieds had taken off.
Okay, 1) Coffee is more acidic than tea and milk is more likely to curdle when it hits the hot liquid. 2) Coffee has a stronger flavor/aroma than tea; cream stands up to it better. Whereas milk enhances the fragrance of tea. 3) Cultural tradition — Brits and Irish have ALWAYS put milk in their tea, Yanks have ALWAYS put cream in their coffee. (Cream used to be affordable in the USA)
@Ukulele Ike: But my recollection of The City is that a “regular” coffee comes with milk and sugar, not cream and sugar. Or have I been Mandalaed?
@Poteet: County LoFo has the same zoning consistency as Houston, TX.
@Peanut Gallery: I attended a taping of a Penn & Teller show and guest Ice-T talked about first show biz job as a assistant to his cousin’s birthday clown act.
The fearsome Detective Tuotolla then demonstrated how to make a doggy out of a balloon and pull flags out of mouth.
There was also a lighting malfunction that took about 15 minutes to fix so Ice-T went into the audience and answered questions.
He was very charming.
@Rube: Oh, you NEVER see cream any more, too expensive. When I drank coffee I took it black, and I was surprised to learn that I liked milk in tea.
I believe NYC regular means a modest amount of milk, but you need to ask for sugar.
”Here’s ya kahfee regulah with curdled milk. Now fuck off.”
”May I have some sugar, please?”
“One lump or two?”
Believe Or Not: How many crabs had to die to make a 300-pound cake?
DtM: Alice’s blouse and Henry’s shirt look more appetizing than the glop on the plates.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: If it worked, no one would care if it were pronounced “tre-bucket.”
Late Thread Cuisine: For all those of you who didn’t warn me about today’s Archie.
We are intrigued that Mr. Lodge has abandoned traditional plutocrat pinstriped-trousers-and-starched collar uniform, but has only moved partway across the spectrum to Palm Springs golf attire. He is clearly attempting to curry favor. Were his political/economic standing more secure he would have moved all the way to black t-shirt and hoodie. Veronica had best secure her dowry in gold and Swiss francs before it’s too late.
@Baja Gaijin:
Sushi, except with a banana instead of rice. Now I’ve truly seen everything.
@23 Sequitur: Dolly’s got the nose for it! Wait, no, I take that back: pig noses have two nostrils.
@35 Anonymous: on Curtis: The woman in the first panel has bad case of Six Chix Tits.
@87 Ukranazi Stepan: I recovered.
@95 Ukulele Ike: Think Snuffy Smif and Loweezy. Baleen’s marrying a remora. Big and small.
@133 GarrisonSkunk: NO!
@Ukulele Ike: Thanks for the cream/milk explanation. It makes sense. I started drinking tea when I was a small child and have always drunk it with milk and sugar. I’ve cut back on the sugar over the years, and I recently started drinking it without milk sometimes.
I don’t drink coffee and have tasted it only a few times. However, I recently discovered that I like coffee ice cream a lot, especially if it has chocolate chips in it.
@Baja Gaijin: Cuisine – The recipe recommends using “aromatic” herring. As opposed to stinky herring?
Everything about that dish is horrifying.
Unnecessary clown on the field. 15 yard penalty.
@Baja Gaijin:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana herring.
{Slap!}
@Baja Gaijin:
Ah yes, those great food combinations: peanut butter and jelly, strawberries and chocolate, grilled cheese and tomato soup, herring and bananas.
Luann: Yeah, no, you’ll want to keep those costumes on to protect you from the rotten vegetables thrown at you.
CS: Did anyone else hear the gears grinding hard on this malapropism?
@Baja Gaijin: Who hasn’t bitten into a sweet ripe banana on a clear sunny morning and thought “You know what this really needs? Aromatic herring.”
@Fashion Police: I was surprised to see Mr. Lodge’s beloved traditional pince-nez updated to Chuck Schumer’s reading glasses. He’s been wearing those nose pinchers since the 1940s, when they were already out of style.
@I speak Jive: Try a half-and-half coffee/chocolate milkshake! Or malted, if you’re feeling dangerous.
@159 Ukulele Ike: And if you’re feeling crazy, aromatic herring.
@Baja Gaijin: While you boogie to R.E.M.’s classic 1992 alt-rock album, Aromatic for the Herring.
@Baja Gaijin: I believe I’ve used this term before: Comedy Food. Everyone knows the banana is the funniest fruit.
“Honey, do we have any aromatic herring?”
“No, but we have some regular herring in the fridge. Just leave it sitting out for a couple of days.”
@147 Baja Gaijin:
“It’s a fruit!”
“It’s a fish!”
[together] “IT’S A FRUITFISH! *BARF*”
(Poncho [Pooch Cafe] might eat it)
@162 Peanut Gallery: Do “kumquats”!
@163 Sequitur: Poncho’d roll on it before eating it.
@Baja Gaijin: There was a Donald Duck comic book in which his nephews wanted to eat nothing but sweets, so he stuffed them with sweets until they got sick. One of the things he made for them was candied kumquats.
Kumquats are always funnier if they’re candied. It’s the alliteration!
@taig: I don’t get it. At all. I feel like Mark Trail. *sob*
@Ukulele Ike: Hmm. I’ll think about it.
@UncleJeff: Wow, that must make for an interesting city!
@165 Peanut Gallery:
I guess that’s better than sugar sweetened sauerkraut.
The breakfast of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
@Poteet: The “banana herring” in Late Night Cuisine inspired a Batiuk-like “knock knock” joke.
@Poteet: Oh gawd, I get it now. Oh, do I get it now. Ewwwwww. Note to self: always check the evening cuisine before trying to understand the evening jokes.
@169 Sequitur: Mmmm. Rotkraut!
@171 Poteet: I figured you’d figure it out eventually.
Wizard of Id has succintly portrayed the difference between Early and Late Medieval modes of warfare: while his Dark Age companions are boldly dying for their feudal lord, the canny Sir Rodney treats war as a profession. He is akin to the condottiere who would dominate later Italian warfare. That sly look and crooked smile is that of a man who sees human corpses as nothing more than money in his purse, arguably far more barbaric than his predecessors. But
trebuchets suck for hitting single guys so we’re probably about to see Sir Smarty Pants’ insides in spite of his historically progressive role.
I think Jimmy Knoll is one of those late-night talk show hosts
@m.w.: One reason I visit CC is to learn a little history, and by golly, I do. Thank you. *checks out Thursday JP* I don’t come here to learn anything about modern spycraft, that’s for sure.
@JustSomeGuy: ????
This is completely nuts. No sense at all. You are declared crap.
What if that brute erects his sword at a 45 angle from his face in a manner where his chin is directly beneath it, Sir Rodney?
Never mind — sometimes a sword is just a sword….
@Baja Gaijin: What is that glistening globular stuff in the glass bowl next to that horrifying dish? Is it a bowl from the pathology lab with some sort of tumor-like growths that have been removed from the carcass of some poor sap who ate the aforementioned banana-herring meal?