A real force of alcoholic nature
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The Lockhorns, 9/8/25
Now, one of Loretta’s running gripes with Leroy is that he doesn’t make enough money for her tastes, so we can be certain that her shoe spending allowance could not have been the difference between profitability and insolvency for this store. We must assume that this is Leroy doing yet another bit as part of their long-running marital conflict. Not sure if we’re meant to understand that she’s just off-panel, seething, or if she’s not even there and he’s just doing what needs to be done to make sure there’s a baseline level of anti-Loretta sentiment in the community.
Andy Capp, 9/8/25
Are you, an American, worried that you’ll attend a snooker tournament at some point in the future and you won’t be up on the lingo? Fear not: thanks to Andy Capp, you now know that you can casually say to a companion, about someone doing well, “Boy, he [or she, I assume women are allowed to play snooker] can sure pot those balls!” The comics really are a source of cultural enrichment and must be protected as a medium, possibly with a generous government subsidy.
Mary Worth, 9/8/25
“I too would enjoy the trip, but not so much that I’m going to make up any kind of specific reason why I can’t go. See you whenever!”
187 replies to “A real force of alcoholic nature”
MW:
“Whattaya say, Ed? — are you coming with us?”
“I would sooner endure an infinite series of proctological examinations,” muses a visibly flummoxed Ed.
MW:
“I too would enjoy the trip, but I have some prior commitments — all of them involuntary.”
MW: Evy chokes out an acceptable, if stilted, alternative to, “I’d rather be thrown into a bear pit covered with honey!”
DtM: The Mitchells, who never, ever learn, are now going to take The Menace to a funeral and be mortified when he commits some atrocity. There, I ruined it.
MW: “Either of you but not both of you. My walls aren’t thick enough to have you two sharing a room.”
MW: Olive’s dad is Les Moore.
Pool AND Snooker? In the same locale? Good golly, if they don’t run the gamut of entertainments!
Shlockhorns – Poor fellow – losing this sole crushing job….
AC – Nobody teabags like drunken Andy Capp….
MW – I too have a fabricated excuse ready in case Mary attempts to involve me in any aspect of her crappy so-called life….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Mary Worth Mashups: What happened if Evy said what she really wanted to say?
“I’d love to go with you and Olive, but I have to do all that stuff with things! YOU’RE being vague!”
JP: Yes you are, Judgey Wudgey, but then again everyone is this strip is a terrible human being whether they are a parent or not (and yes, I’m including the pwecious raspberry-haired brat) so you’re hardly alone!
RMMD: C’mon Lorna…. just wait a few hours, then text Spudson at his gig that Jonah sadly died, he was immediately cremated so there won’t be any memorial and it’s ‘just too painful’ to get together right now. Then move to a new town. You can do this!
Mary Worth: Evy has a prior commitment with Ed: those balls aren’t going to pot themselves!
MW: I assume this conversation takes place after the ceremonial licking of the plates. Seriously, what humans leave their dishes that spotless after a meal?
Honestly I can well believe that Loretta was the only customer keeping Shoes A-Plenty afloat, if Shoes A-Plenty specializes in shoes made for the diamond-shaped things that the Lockhorns have at the end of their legs.
Ever since I was a younger boy, I played those colored balls
From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all
But I ain’t seen nothing like him in any amusement hall
No matter how much ale he’s had, he still can pot those balls
The Lockhorns – The Lockhorns are a committed couple, even if it’s just to the bit. While this isn’t a “ha ha” funny joke to the shoe store owner, it does provide some psychological relief in imagining the small ways things outside his control that led to his business failure, rather than taking the blame himself.
Andy Capp – Andy Capp, cultural diplomat for the declining British Empire for people who are more interested in achieving a high BAC than high culture.
Mary Worth – Olive’s parents are going to engage in some intense role play when she is off to Santa Royale. Most of that role play is imagining that Mary is some Grimm’s Fairy Tale witch that has snatched their daughter away, allowing them to live care-free, child-free lives as DINKs.
MW: “I too would enjoy the trip, but I have some PRIAPIC COMMITMENTS.”
There. Fixed it for you.
MW: does KM know anyone who speaks English?
Potted balls sound really painful. I hope the ale he drank helps with that.
@Baja Gaijin:
Evie: “I’ve….a gig herding cats! Yes, that’s right, I’m a catherd, so I can’t go with you! Whew!” (Mops brow)
DT: Another zap zap murder -there are just too many zap zap guns loose in the city.
Crankshaft: As the population ages, Madden Bowling could become a thing.
GT: Everyone seems to have the mumps.
MW: Dad’s hopeful eyes silently communicates with his wife (two weeks of NO OLIVE!)
JP: Well, Judge, let’s look at the evidence… runaway murder daughter, layabout ditzy kids, ….my advice, don’t go to the jury with this one. You might not like the verdict. That will be $100.
Slylock: One of them is clearly left handed – are they mirror twins? – compare the list? May be only one of them is sinister?
Mary Worth: Ed perks up. “Well then, it’s settled! ‘Mini-vacation’ at a naturally occurring retirement community for some, drunken bacchanalia and key parties for others!” Evy gives a smile without depth and nods. “I have prior commitments.”
Questionablecontent:
OK, so not only are we never going to see Pintsize again, courtesy his sudden “trip to Japan” that gave Anhlikeable his room, but now Faye, who yesterday morning strip time was out to throw her out of her shop and last night strip time wanted to smother her, now wants to let her ‘hang out’ with her and Bubbles? This strip continues to plumb depths I did not know existed.
MW: “My prior commitment is learning how to assemble representations of human faces using clip art! Take a look at poor Olive; she resembles the facial equivalent of a ransom note!”
Andy Capp: “Pot those balls”! And here we thought 9 Chickweed Lane was the dirtiest strip running.
Mary Worth, again: “But we haven’t told you when we were going!” Ed and Evy smile and nod, smile and nod. “That’s right,” they intone together.
Beetle Bailey Mashup: The ants are truly strong for carrying this box.
Slylock Fox-Ah the old catch them by their handwriting trick.
MW-Two weeks with this lonely old woman with parental supervision. Yep this doesn’t raise any red flags.
Luann-We are going to spend all week hearing about Alan Parson’s project.
“My life’s work has gone down the drain and I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I’ve got a mortgage to worry about and my kid is going to college in a couple of years. But hey, keep doing the ha has about your wife’s spending habits, that’s sure to cheer me up.”
***
Good for Olive’s mom. Being as vague as possible around a busybody like Mary is the way to go. Make her eventual monologuing to Dr. Jeff about this whole experience even more boring for him.
@Baja Gaijin:
Must be the depleted uranium in Mary muffins.
AC: I may not know much about snooker, but I know enough to be sure that when the white ball has been sunk BEFORE one of the red balls, then the colorist doesn’t really understand the game either.
Lockhorns: I like to think this is set during the pandemic, and Leroy is trying to cheer up some poor furloughed shoe salesman with his usual marital hijinks, while merrily breathing Loretta’s COVID germs in his face.
MW: I love the pause in Ed’s voice before “work.” He’s clearly hoping for something to happen so that he and Evy can cash out on those life insurance policies. Or he just wants to have two weeks of guilt free boinking with the wife.
MW I’m still stuck on mini-vacation for “one or two weeks”. Why yes, Olive’s dad has to work, you know, that thing where it’s pretty standard in the US to only have two weeks of vacation time per year. Even one week is a substantial portion, not a “mini” bit. Heck, he might not even have the vacation days left!
It was nice of the Confederate Army to send a representative to watch Andy play.
Lockhorns: “Sorry, Loretta had the flu last week and I’m just at the communicable stage now. Do you have any respiratory issues because I pretty much hate you and your shoes.”
Mary Worth: Evy the Mombot and her dialogue aren’t really living up to the high standards set by AI slop.
MW: Back when 24 was a cultural phenomenon, Dave Barry talked about the “wooden dialogue generator” that they used for the show. It’s nice to know that the WDG is still gainfully employed.
Garfield: Garfield minus Text.
Peanuts Begins: 10/10 no notes. Just a solid joke.
B. Bailey: Funny because I’m presently reading Terry Pratchett’s The Color of Magic.
Ahhhh, Dustin. Basically stealing a bit from Wayne’s World from when, 1990? 91? This is why we all have such high expectations.
A. Capp: Note to American tourists. ‘The balls are in the pot’ is not the pickup line you think it is.
I know that eventually you just have to accept the weird bolding in Mary Worth, but even within that, come on. If you’re gonna drop something like, “I have some prior commitments,” you absolutely have to smash cut to Olive’s mom doing something humorous. The panel is even drawn so everyone’s looking at her expectantly! I have to assume what comes next is dead silence, Olive coughing once, and everyone moves on.
The cultural enrichment also includes the off-panel voice using British slang, something that historically has been lacking in the strip.
Lockhorns:
“I have five toes not one big pointy one”
~Girl in that “Rugrats” tween spinoff.
@A Grave Mind: I normally would object to a comic strip doing a lazy bit about ancient and unfunny mondegreens, but this is Dustin, so I’ll let it go on the “an unjust king inquired of a holy man” principle.
Does a Plugger not just getting some glasses at the dollar store fall under “Pluggers are cheap” or “Pluggers are stupid”?
MW: It’s legit pissing me off that Moy keeps referring to a two-week vacation as a “mini-vacation.” This is a woman with zero familiarity with real life.
Andrew D. Capp, known to his friends as Andy, was killed in a knife attack in a pub in Liverpool last evening. Accordingly to witnesses, Mr. Capp interfered in a snooker game. Rest in peace, Mr. Capp (1921(1932(1941(1954(1962(1972(1981)))))))-2025).
L’horns: Good Lord. Shoes A-Plenty has been in business for a hundred years. I inherited it from my father, who inherited it from his father, who inherited it from his father. And it all ends now, with me. A victim of our modern age, with everyone buying their shoes online. I have failed the family business, failed my family, and failed myself. The bankrupcy will destroy my credit, and my finances are in ruins.
But, oh, I’m sorry, random personn passing by my store, you were saying something about your wife?
FC: I don’t know why seeing Jeffy this frustratingly angry warms my heart. Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism to keep me from thinking about Dolly wearing fishnet stockings.
Pot and balls? In the same speech bubble? Come on, this is the lowest of low-hanging fruit.
@astroboy: For the monied set who live on the East Side, a real vacation is a month on the coast (you know, the Hamptons, Cape Cod, Nice and the Riveria! :) )
@astroboy: At this point, Karen Moy might as well be a cryptid who has never interacted with children, talks in an incredibly stilted manner, believes that everyone is flush with disposable income, and thinks that vacations take months rather than a week or two at most.
@Baja Gaijin:
Ah yes, the classic 1954 radioactive giant ant movie, THEM.
@BeckoningChasm: Olive is going to return home wearing a ratty old hoodie and spouting aphorisms Mary taught her about how “humanity is our nation.”
MW: Pfft, you think Ed and Evie want to spend their precious PTO with Olive? They’re just marking time until she goes off to college and they can turn her room into a sex dungeon.
Dear God, I can not get over how incredibly dull this entire arc is; it makes Rex Morgan look like a Jason Statham movie. The most conflict thus far has been a few girls calling Olive “weird” and a brief drowning scare, and all that combined amounted to a handful of strips. Everything else has been the Mary and Olive Mutual Admiration Society, a display of self-centered ego that makes Wilbur look like Mahatma Gandhi. Bring back Belle Batsfrey!
@45 Rube: It’s the twenty-first century; why can’t it be both? Pluggers are cheap and stupid!
@A Grave Mind: Sadly, in the UK, pool is beating out snooker in the bars. Part of it is due to the size: regulation snooker table is 6×12 feet, whereas a typical pool table is 9×4.5 feet. Also the learning curve is just a bit steeper for snooker with the round pockets kicking out a lot of shots that would slop in on a flat edge pool pocket.
Dedicated snooker clubs and parlors are also getting too pricey.
Now, admittedly, my sister is something of a helicopter mom, but if my nephew, who is a few years older than Olive, wanted to come visit Aunt Allie, there would be a hell of a lot more discussion before she was like, “Yeah, I’ll send my kid to see you for a few weeks.”
And I’m her sister. So…
I’m just saying.
Of course, that may be more a referendum about me and my suitability to look after a 17 year-old… hmmm
@TheDiva: And as someone noted yesterday, Olive’s finally made a connection with a couple of the girls. That makes this the worst possible time to ignore them so Olive can visit a woman in her sixties(?) for a couple of weeks. That “weirdo” label will be back in place before she knows it.
Garfield does a tribute to Andy Warhol?
@Ken: Considering the incredibly fickle nature of teenage girls, Olive probably already has the “weirdo” label back. And she thoroughly deserves it.
MW: in fairness to Moy, I think the “mini-vacation” is in relationship to Olive’s summer vacation from school.
That having been said, the expression on Ed’s face is disturbing for reasons that I can’t quite articulate.
….And my comment isn’t posting for some reason. Don’t know what I did to offend the content bots but here we are.
Luann: Ooh, a challenging romance will blossom for Bernice?
Beetle Bailey: Army food is supposed to be a bit less insect-infested than prison food, Cookie.
Slylock Fox always manages to blame it on the Count or the Rat. But today I’m expecting some lame-ass quip about the “sinister” twin.
As a southpaw, this time it’s personal.
@TheDiva: I’ve run into needing https:// as a prefix for the website text field most of the time.
GT: “We’re ready for any kind of challenge. Except child custody. I’m rolling over immediately on that. My kids would do great at Valley Tech. Please take them, you back stabbing cow.”
MW: “That would be lovely Mary but I have to wash my hair that week. Plus the Mets are in town.”
@Old School Allie Cat: It’s not just you; my parents took Divaling One to Hawai’i this past summer as an early 16th birthday present, and that trip was well over a year in planning. Granted, it was a bit more involved than “you can just stay in the old lady’s guest room,” but this is still a little more complicated than Moy is making it out to be.
Not that I WANT three weeks of Ed and Evie notarizing a minor travel consent form, mind you…
@ValdVin: Hmmm, that didn’t seem to work…
@Needless Exposition: or an early version of AI that even Altman, Musk, and Zuck wouldn’t market.
The Lockhorns: I think that Leeroy and Loretta just drive aimlessly around town looking for locations and people that they can use for their “my spouse sucks” bits.
Andy Capp: Shit like this is the real reason why the British Empire’s many subjects fought so long and hard to be independent; who would want to be associated with a country that calls anything “snooker”?
Mary Worth: Olive’s-Mom-Whose-Name-I-Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Learn would love to join them, but as a quantum duplicate of Mary, she can only spend so much time around her before reality begins to implode from the paradox.
“I’d love to, but unfortunately it’s my turn to shampoo the neighborhood’s squirrels, and you wouldn’t believe how long it takes to get those tails into curlers.”
Lockhorns-Women sure do love shoes. Am I right?
MW: I’m actually somewhat hopeful for the upcoming Santa Royale hijinx. Perhaps Olive’s tummy brain can fix Wilbur.
And yes I was really grossed out by that sentence but we’re staying positive here on a Monday morning!
AC: The English enjoy eating potted shrimp, so why not…?
“Phantom moves as silently as the jungle cat….except for the WHAM!! parts.” — Old Jungle Saying
MW: Evy read Pluggers yesterday, and she learned how to get out of unwanted invitations.
@Old School Allie Cat: Yeah. My niece and nephew are roughly Olive’s age, and I live on the other side of the country from them. Them visiting without their parents would require a lot of planning. It’d be doable, but not on a mere spur of the moment whim.
“He can still pot those balls”, as today’s cool kids say! Just kidding! I don’t know any cool kid nor was I ever one!
Today’s Lockhorns answers the question “What if Sex and the City but there is neither sex nor the city, just women shopping and toxic relationships?”
“Sorry, Loretta had the flu last week. Well she died! I came here to you because I wanted to report this to someone who would care”
MARY WORTH: I’m disappointed in Evy. Come on, girl, based on your last two appearances I know you can come up with a better innuendo-filled excuses then that! Something like “I’d love to go, but I need to spend this week chasing after that darn snake that’s loose in the house. Ooh when I find that snake I’m going to give it the choking of a lifetime, so much so that it starts spiting out…blood as a result (yes lets go with “blood” for now)”
Luann: Yes, it’s Alan! After hiding in this strip in the background since its inception forty years ago, silently biding his time and building his strength, he emerges at last to take his place as the rightful protagonist.
MW: On the plane to California, Olive “foresees” the overhead baggage compartment falling open and dislodging a carry-on window air conditioner that tumbles directly onto Mary, but because they’re strapped in and the seatbelt light is on, Olive is powerless to prevent catastrophe. It’s inevitable. The air conditioners have it in for Mary and They. Will. Not. Be. Denied.
@8 Baja Gaijin:
Those are all good excuses. All she really needed to say was, “I can’t go, I gotta pee.”
JP: The other customers at the diner are thinking, “Oh shit. It’s Alan Parker again. I hope he doesn’t start randomly shoving a picture of his idiot son and psycho daughter-in-law in our faces asking us if we’ve seen them.”
@Charterstoned: If we’re going to go all grimdark “Final Destination,” then make the whole trip be the Grim Reaper’s setup so Olive will drown in the Charterstone pool as was her fate.
Mary sees it and runs to save her, but is killed by a falling air conditioner as was her fate. Wilbur also tries but drowns, as was his fate all those damn times he fell off a boat.
Luann: I’ll just leave this here.
Lockhorns: Can say with a great deal of sincerity that this strip looks a lot better in black and white. Clean edges and contrasts. Plus, Leroy and the salesman both match their pants to their shoes anyway. (And they think Loretta is bad.)
MW: The Taylors would be the most neglectful parents on the comics page if there weren’t a baby whose only companion for most of the day is a sunbeam. But Ed and Evy are parents of an only child. Hi and Lois went to the parent well three times and got surprised by twins on the second run.
DT: Damn, we flew straight over the seduction scene and past the murder to the police investigation? Mr. Leda seemed like quite the “operator,” I was hoping to take NOTES.
AC: Hartlepool is still a restricted town, and it looks like Andy and Chalkie have wandered into one of the Jewish snooker parlors. Oi!
“I would love to enjoy the trip, but unfortunately I have some prior commitments, like making up excuses to tell people I want to avoid but who I respect enough to give them a pretend explanation”
LUANN: I really hate seeing my name in fiction. Characters names “Alan” always turn out to be chumps or jerks.
Phantom: “WHAM!! Wake me up, before you go-go.” — Old Jungle Saying
@Ken: So, you’re saying the air conditioners aren’t plotting? That’s comforting. I have one.
@astroboy: I’m still sad that the store “Hudson’s Bay Company” went under.
It was the first store in Canada, back when it was a simple trading post for settlers.
Now gone.
Life is brutal.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: *In Bangar tongue
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Well, there was Alan M. from the Josie/Josie and the Pussycats comics.
He was nice. He had the personality of cardboard but he was a kind decent person.
Cathy and Irving turned into The Lockhorns so gradually, I didn’t even notice. Ack! Ack! Ack!
MW – “I too would enjoy the trip, but I must return to Remulak. I mean, to France! I must return to France for recalibration. I mean, to consume mass quantities!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“When Polonio makes wine we put together a whole Italian feast”
“Pierre cooks spaghetti and Hilda bakes Italian bread”
“All that to go with Polonio’s wine?”
“Yeah”
“Because the stuff is undrinkable!”
Dustin: Actually, the most common malaprop for “Beast of Burden” is your beets are burning, but still, food related.
DtM: “Why can’t I just look like myself?”
“Uh, that’s your Dorian Gray painting, Dennis. The mirror’s over there.”
@Bob Tice: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vl6BxOGJiBM
CBS looks at Beetle Bailey
General Gripe: Is everyone getting that annoying pop-up first thing after turning on the phone of a young man who looks like he’s getting his pants? I think its for Chump Casino.
MW: Youngish Evy is practicing to be a Plugger! Today she’s trying out a version of the anti-social excuse recommended in yesterday’s Plugger.
FG: so this “tournament” is not an organized series of matches but is just a free-for-all. Good thing then to be part of a coordinated team. And remember our guys are supposed to drag this out for the sake of peace.
Oh, God… I look like the dad character in a Mary Worth comic… I… I’m sorry, I need to go shave and rethink my life.
@Hibbleton: DtM: “Why can’t I just look like myself?”
________________________
Who gave Dennis a copy of the Beano?
@Old Man Shadow: Oh, God… I look like the dad character in a Mary Worth comic… I… I’m sorry, I need to go shave and rethink my life.
____________________
It could be worse, you could look like the Wilber character.
@Peanut Gallery: Hilda Hornia sounds like a new “69 Weirdchick Lame” character.
@GarrisonSkunk:
#101. BB: Garrison and Bob, what a fun summary of this senior strip. Everyone else, click their link
AC, meta: Better yet, if you’re an American and you’re worried you might be invited to watch a snooker tournament, just say “I would enjoy the trip, but I have some prior commitments.” (I remember watching snooker on the telly as a kid, and trying to work out if the fact the players had names like “Hurricane” Higgins and “Whirlwind” White was, like, ironic or something.)
Crank: Ha ha! Just imagine if there was a video game that was kind of like a sports game, but instead of playing football you were bowling!! Have you ever heard anything so… What’s that? The killer app on the Wii back in 2006, you say? And also Wikipedia has an index page for bowling video games with 75 entries, going back to 1979? Interesting.
Anyway, if Batty has more ideas for the “Ed hides under the bed” storyline (and on the basis of this strip, I’m not convinced he does) maybe he shouldn’t have clumsily wrapped it up so he could talk about his almost-as-interesting life some more.
JP: Maybe Sam Driver’s not the best person to ask. “I’m just saying, Alan, your kid’s missing and you haven’t gone completely insane? Do you even have a conspiracy wall?”
But never mind what he says. I say you are no worse a parent than you are a judge, a novelist, or a human being.
MW: Obviously, Olive’s parents have zero interest in this full-mini-vacation, but also panel 1 has been carefully shot from outside so we can’t see Mary glaring at them and shaking her head as she makes the offer.
Pluggers: Okay, different culture here, but I’m down to my last Nutch glass (a hazelnut chocolate spread that came in a sort of glass tankard with a handle, and which I don’t think has existed this century) and yes, I kind of wish I could get more.
RMMD: Funny, I was getting the impression Jonah had never been particularly stable.
@Horace Broon:
Hellz yeah! Don’t remember Tenth Frame, for any number of PCs?! It was…boring. Bowling fucking sucks.
@Ukulele Ike:
#74. PHANTOM: Exactly my thoughts on reading the last two days. Either #21 is giving them a muted Pop, wherein they yell OW and stay conscious or a loud THWACK, wherein they’re out as silently and as long as a light.
@White Rabbit:
#75. MW: you said it first, White Rabbit. You get the carrot.
I hope Olive likes sitting around in Mary’s spare bedroom like a giant doll because there’s no way that Mary will bother to entertain her. Remember when Madi showed up and Saul pretty much acted like she was the biggest burden in his life but did nothing to try and make her feel welcome? The only thing he did was show off his dog and get upset because Greta wasn’t instantly worshipped.
God, I miss Madi. And Mr. Alora should shove Saul in the broom closet.
Archie – Welp, word finally got around the school that Archie is a serial killer.
Zits –
No way. Teens don’t answer phones. Also letting your Mother’s Mother die because of refusing to answer the phone would be the funniest thing that ever happened in Zits.
@Peanut Gallery:
But wouldn’t Veronica or Jughead have been likely first victims? Does Riverdale have that many prostitutes?
@Horace Broon:
#108. PLUGGERS: Horace, I’ve found finding near-matches for discontinued dishes is most successful at estate sale junk tables or in thrift shops.
@A Grave Mind: Goodness, now I’m looping back to my Andy Capp comment, and remembering that when I was a kid we also inexplicably had Steve Davis Snooker for the Commodore 64, which I swear made that putting game from The Simpsons look like a thrill a minute.
@Activist: Thank you, I’ll keep an eye out.
love is… going clothes shopping in the nude, so it’s easier to try things on.
Hi and Lois – “OK, Mom, now tomorrow we’ll say something mildly upbeat and you can piss all over it.”
@Some guy with the same issue:
#114. ZITS: Thanks for the reminder. Dont think heart health month is until Feb. but this is what, te third heart attack so far so this month? Gramma needs to call 911 from her own phone pronto. Unless she lives next door to her daughter, then ask neighbor to do CPR if she blacks out and stops breathing.
Old folks need a plan. My own parents did same thing in medical emergency– called a son 100 miles away rather than 911.
MW: “You two have a great time making a woman out of my little girl!”
Sometimes I find it difficult to look at an installment of the Lockhorns and not think, “that Ruben Bolling really has his hands full with Marital Mirth, trying to satirize a cartoon trope by mimicking a couple whose seething mutual hatred is already so on-the-nose.” But then I go to Bolling’s Super-Fun-Pak Comix and fall in love all over again.
@GarrisonSkunk: Good god, the Walker clan looks just like Crankshaft and his Breakfast Clubber buddies huddled over their Cream of Wheat at Dale Evans.
If only they had followed useful careers — taxidermist, fire alarm inspector, AC repairman, carnival geek — Beetle Bailey could have followed Abbey n’ Slats, Old Doc Yak, and Barnaby up to the heavenly paradise of dead and mostly forgotten comic strips.
@Ukulele Ike:
You sound old.
DT: Speaking of breakfast, Tracy gets his in multiple courses. Right now he’s enjoying his toast and oatmeal while Tess (NOT LaKoyle, the wife one) prepares the entree of eggs and bacon. Pop Tarts for dessert!
Sam Catchem, arrived early at the office, does not know how to consume a bagel. Cut it in HALF, Sam; a gentleman never bites into bread without breaking it first. Sheesh. Also, if your cream cheese is yellow, it’s time to buy a new package.
@70 ectojazzmage: on Andy Capp: I hope you’re talking about your beloved Canada there, eh? America has Snooki, much more embarrassing than snooker.
@93 The Rambling Otter: You can rest assured The Lockhorns do not live in Canada–she’d have kept The Bay in business!
@112 Needless Exposition: Don’t forget when the dog shredded up all of Madi’s life’s possessions, it was her fault that the mutt broke into her room and opened the closet door to destroy everything. Madi’s the problem, not the unrestrained pooch. Poor Madi; I hope she returns to Charterstone one day with machete. Uh, I mean, to help Mr. Allora keep the foliage in check. Yeah, that’s it.
Penn Gillette is Olive’s father? Cant he just make her disappear?
@125 Ukulele Ike: Are you sure Sam’s not eating a really old Chipwich?
@Horace Broon: Snooker? I don’t even know her!
So Olive’s going to team up with Mary and use her special gifts to root out people with problems Mary can meddle in, like a drug-sniffing dog? How disturbed will her parents be when they finally come out for a visit and find the old gal scratching their daughter behind the ears and giving her Milk Bones?
@Ukulele Ike: carnival geek — Beetle Bailey could have followed Abbey n’ Slats, Old Doc Yak, and Barnaby up to the heavenly paradise of dead and mostly forgotten comic strips.
________________________________
Gasoline Alley?
Curmudgeon’s Mary Worth Evy’s Retorts: I’ve immortalized as many of your “Evy quips” into mashups of today’s strip. Enjoy your words immortalized in comics form!
Late Thread Cuisine: This isn’t as grody as those timbales, is it?
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: This strip recently showed an Alan, and he was a weirdo 12-year-old with a crush on Luann.
FRAZZ: I remember plodding through Moby Dick in high school, barely made it to the end. Only after learning it is really about addiction did the metaphor become interesting. Actually, same with reading Bible first time through– it helps once we understand analogies.
@133 Baja Gaijin:
Oh, Magoo, you did it again.
C-Shaft: When Crankshaft spent a week last month hiding under the bed I was sure Batiuk would never use that gag again unless he was totally bereft of ideas. I was right.
DT: Doesn’t Tess have her own PI agency? This is the first time we’ve seen her in months, and she’s just tradwifing.
Dustin: She’s a mother of two so you just know this segment is called “Momdegreens.”
GT: “…except for about 60% of our games, that is.”
JP: Sam’s not going to want to answer that question in the middle or at the end of the conversation either. Although it might help if this is one of those places where you can get a Bloody Mary alongside your breakfast coffee.
Luann: Mooney Uni must be near a data center. It sucks up so much electricity the school can’t light its classrooms.
Shoe: Hey Perfesser, don’t forget which of those cupboards you locked Skyler in so you can knock and say goodnight.
@Baja Gaijin:
@133 Excellent! A lifelong dream come true!
MW: Did Olive’s dad have waaayyy too much Botox at his last visit to the spa, or is he on some other substance that gives him the thousand mile stare?
@Horace Broon:
This made me crack up.
@Bryan: Other than being completely redundant (“weirdo with a crush on Luann” is kinda like saying “suicide in Buffalo”), you’re really not doing much to improve my self esteem :)
@Baja Gaijin: It’s like someone misunderstood sweet-and-sour shrimp.
@CanuckDownSouth: There’s an Agatha Christie novel from the 30s where the one of the characters (a rich young guy with a nominal day job “in the city”) is having an unhappy love affair and moping around. One of his friends suggests taking a vacation to the Dalmatian coast–no big deal, just ask your employer for three months off. I’ve always been floored by how casually the characters suggest taking off work (leaving the country, even) for three months, as if it were a long weekend–and just to nurse a broken heart!
@90 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol:
Here’s a comic character named Alan who is also known as “The Brain”.
You should also know that the older Judge Parker’s name is Alan.
FC: Don’t get all bent out of shape, Jeffy. Just go sit in Kittykat’s litter box. Show him what for.
@Baja Gaijin:
No, this doesn’t rise to the level of chicken liver timbales, but I’m pretty sure that sauce is made out of melted gummy fish.
@BeckoningChasm: MW: Olive’s dad is Les Moore.
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Olive’s next prediction — “Our family will be overwhelmed by cancer,bad pizza,and smugness. There will be no survivors.”
@Baja Gaijin: Enjoy your words immortalized in comics form!
If I knew my words would be immoralized I would have tried to make them a bit cringier.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: FC: Don’t get all bent out of shape, Jeffy.
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Isnt Jeffy naturally bent out of shape?@Sequitur: Here’s a comic character named Alan who is also known as “The Brain”.
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…..hangs out with a guy named Pinky.
@Rita Lake: There’s an Agatha Christie novel from the 30s
Are you from THE FUTURE????
@149 GarrisonSkunk:
I was waiting for that. I knew it’d be you.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: I bet you’re not exactly a fan of the strip A Slice of Alan then.
@Horace Broon: A bar near me tried group & team Nintendo Wii leagues.
They quit because too many Wii bowlers lost control of the controllers while “throwing” and damaging the TV screen.
MW: Mary learns that even when she tries to pay their way, most people won’t want to spend any time with her.
@Youthy McYoung’un: I am SO OLD my tee shirt reads “Dizzy Gillespie for President.”
@153 UncleJeff: You’re a plugger if you can’t play fake bowling.
@UncleJeff: They had those (heavily recommended) wrist straps for a reason.
@157 The Rambling Otter: You’re a plugger if you’re too stupid to use a wrist strap. You’re a plugger if your wrist is too fat to fit a Wii wrist strap.
@Sequitur: I was waiting for that. I knew it’d be you.
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Glad I didn’t disappoint. Things aren’t always as they seem, like when Carmichael ate the gas man.
@159 GarrisonSkunk: “When Carmichael ate the gas man?” Is this something I want to know more about?
@Rita Lake: Must be an upper-crust Brits-of-the-time thing, right? Like a job is just something to keep the young man occupied, not something he *has* to do to survive.
@Baja Gaijin: I have to believe the colour is due to poor film quality back in the day. You don’t even get that day-glo bright a sauce with the local hole-in-the-wall Chinese takeout’s sweet n sour!
@162 CanuckDownSouth: This recipe card is copyrighted 1972. They had far better artificial food colors back then, before everyone was all so worried about additives causing cancer and stuff like that. Killjoys.
@Hibbleton@The Rambling Otter: Yeah but it takes too much time and you don’t want to put down your beer just to strap up
@Baja Gaijin: Naw.
It just takes too much time to attach the strap and you have to put down your beer.
@CanuckDownSouth: Definitely. In the class Christie came from, a job was something one did to prevent being idle, not something one did because one needed money, like one of the /shudder/ working class .
You are a Plugger when you write two variations of the same comment because you thought the first one got swallowed by the site.
Like the gas man
@167 UncleJeff: Is the site named “Carmichael”?
@Bob Tice: @Baja Gaijin: @Baja Gaijin: Its a Jack Benny reference.Carmichael was a polar bear on his radio show that protected his vault and terrorized Rochester, his valet.
@169 GarrisonSkunk: Oh, THAT Carmichael, not Mrs. Carmichael who worked for Mr. Mooney.
Mary Wormtounge: I wish I could go on this trip, but I don’t want to.
@Rita Lake: #143: The key word in a rich young man is rich. That’s how he can ask for three months off. That day job of his was probably a nepotism hire done as a favor to the young man’s father by one of his business cronies. The boss was probably glad to give him the three months off because he was useless.
MW: It’s good that Olive’s dad won’t be standing around in a crowded airport, because his expression is yelling “Pick My Pocket.”
MT: Investigative journalism by the doofus who didn’t notice a major golf course and resort being constructed right down the road. Riiiiiight.
@Baja Gaijin:
I USUALLY love shrimp Creole. Looking at these made my eyes and sanity hurt.
@Baja Gaijin: I generally like shrimp, but those seem to have gone through some kind of dreadful industrial accident.
@Bob Tice: @Baja Gaijin: I’ve been meaning to ask you, would you know the name of a Japanese show that did Twilight Zone type stories, hosted by a guy in a dark suit and sunglasses? Fujisaki used to show it on a local NYC station in the late 90s.The stories were subtitled but the title wasn’t.
@Poteet:
How’d he vote? He could still make the New York Times, depending.
The kids were bullying Olive in part because they saw how her parents treated her
“Have fun with a random old lady kid we can’t be arsed to spend time with you or do any parenting, really”
(continued from 177–…they used to alternate it with Furuhata Ninzabur?, soap operas and anime series, thanks,Baja.
@Rita Lake: I started British mystery-reading long ago with upper-crust Christie and Sayers, and it was quite a change to encounter P.D. James and her haunting working-class bleakness. Now I get the emotional bends by watching British mysteries on public TV. All hail, British TV mystery makers, for your wide range of cozy to terrifying.
@Baja Gaijin: @169 GarrisonSkunk: Oh, THAT Carmichael, not Mrs. Carmichael who worked for Mr. Mooney.
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Yep, but I wouldn’t put it past the red head, she WAS pretty much nuts.
Olive’s father looks like Dick Facey/Act III Les Moore from Funky Winkerbean
@csroberto2854: Olive’s father looks like a dick.
FIFY
@177 GarrisonSkunk: When I lived in Japan, I didn’t watch TV. My set barely received one station. It seemed to be the “All news, all talk except when sumo is on” network.
@Philip: Most of that role play is imagining that Mary is some Grimm’s Fairy Tale witch that has snatched their daughter away
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You mean, she isn’t?
@Baja Gaijin: Thanks, anyway,Baja.