Archive: Lockhorns

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Curtis, 11/17/18

Curtis is a strip I have a great affection for, despite its corniness, and unlike certain strips I could mention its weird gags about social media feel at least a little based on some actual experience with it. Like, is snake ownership actually the new rage on social media? No, obviously not. But could you sort of see some interconnected subset of the people Curtis follows getting really into snakes, for some reason? Sure! Seems eminently believable to me. I bet Snake Twitter is extremely lit.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/17/18

Hey, remember in Mark Trail when there was a little girl who was bed-ridden with depression because her parents got divorced, and Mark cured her by giving her a puppy? Normally “hey why treat debilitating mental illness when you could just get a pet or go for a walk instead” bullshit makes me furious, but Hagar and Lucky Eddie are a solid millenium away from reliable talk therapy or psychopharmaceuticals, so I guess they might as well give this cute dog a shot.

The Lockhorns, 11/17/18

It’s incredibly sad that the Lockhorns have come to a truce that involves each of them giving up something they enjoy. The only thing they can agree on is their own mutual immiseration.

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Spider-Man, 11/12/18

So in the last couple of weeks, the guest stars of both the last Newspaper Spider-Man plotline and of the one just getting under way today both had their Netflix shows cancelled over the past month, which raises an important question: is Newspaper Spider-Man the hell to which peripheral Marvel characters are condemned if they don’t prosper in the marketplace of ideas? Anyway, everything I know about Luke Cage comes from watching the first season of Jessica Jones, and my impression was always that his whole deal was more about his indestructible skin rather than uncontrollable super strength. And really, check out the way that he’s delicately holding what I assume is one of those tiny paper cups you get from the dispenser by the water cooler. It’s his way of saying “I didn’t have to knock this door off its hinges, but, you know, I decided to knock it off its hinges anyway.”

Slylock Fox, 11/12/18

The main thing that concerns me about today’s Slylock is what’s going to happen to that poor li’l baby ape once Harry and his mom get hauled away in handcuffs thanks to some extremely circumstantial evidence and Slylock’s ratiocination. Does animal society have some equivalent of the human foster care system? Or is he just going to be returned to the forest to fend for himself?

The Lockhorns, 11/12/18

It is, of course, entirely believable that the Lockhorns, having alienated all their friends with their palpable mutual loathing, would end up having a tiny birthday party, just the two of them, for Loretta. But I will never get over the fact that the birthday girl, in a desperate attempt to try to inject a certain sense of fun into this deeply grim occasion, has put on a whimsical party hat, and Leroy stubbornly refused to get on board. He won’t even give her this.

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Dennis the Menace, 10/21/18

But you couldn’t even follow through with that, could you, Mr. Wilson? You couldn’t just let him get bored and wander off. You had to argue with him from a second story window, at great length. You’re entirely complicit in this thoroughly dysfunctional relationship, sir.

Six Chix, 10/21/18

Six Chix is continuing on with its anti-bullying crusade, but I don’t think today’s lesson — “if you’re being bullied, console yourself with the thought that you’re too disgusting to be killed and eaten the way your delicious tormenters inevitably will be” — is really in the spirit of Unity Day.

Spider-Man, 10/21/18

Man, I know I make fun of Spider-Man’s general uselessness on this blog a lot, but it’s kind of shocking that it’s now explicit canon that you too can be as super-powered as he is, just by working out with Steve down at LA Fitness a couple times a week.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 10/21/18

Look at Leroy and Loretta’s expressions here. Do they look like people engaging in a little light banter? Nope. Leroy definitely tried to fuck those pies, right there in the frozen food aisle.