Friday is for birds (non-Toby edition)
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Pickles, 11/28/25
“Ha ha, I sure hate my mother-in-law!” is of course a time-honored bit for hack humorists everywhere, so naturally it has repeatedly found its way into the comics over the years. I guess I have to respect Pickles for leaning into its setting (a household made up of old people) and doing a version that’s “Ha ha, I sure hated my mother-in-law! She’s dead now.”
Andy Capp, 11/28/25
I personally am a little miffed that we’re only hearing about this incident second-hand. Wouldn’t you love a strip where we see Andy wandering around the pub with a mangy old pigeon in his hands, thrusting it at various drunks demanding they give him enough for it so he can buy one more pint? I’d accept either a version where’s he’s maudlin and pathetic about it or one where he’s really belligerent. Neither scenario would be “funny” per se, but neither would be less funny than what we have here, so why not go for it.
Shoe, 11/28/25
No! No!! You can’t just start acknowledging that your characters are all bird people and then show them feasting on eggs! This is a nightmare!
53 replies to “Friday is for birds (non-Toby edition)”
Mary Worth Mashup: Like it takes a Nostradamus to guess what the next panel will be…
Rex Morgan Interactive Mashup: What do you think Summer’s seen in the book? Fill in the blank on the Missing Final Panel. Good ones may be added to the mashup later in the day.
Pluggers: Paddington Bear keeps a marmalade sandwich under his hat “for emergencies.” Just sayin’, Andy Bear.
Six Chix: How did Tuesday Chix channel her angst through Friday Chix?
Sally Forth: In finding out his stepfather had a part in his beloved Star Wars Christmas Special, Ted just had the biggest orgasm in his entire life.
It’s ok, they’re spider eggs
Phantom:
“Okay, a little off-topic, Bread Slinger, but what with that sudden profusion of scraggly facial hair in today’s first panel, are you going as Kurt Cobain for Halloween next year?”
Pickles:
If there is indeed an ecclesiastical purgatory, these two are going to avoid it, because they’re encountering it right now.
Crankshaft: “Dad!! No!!! Not the hedge shears! Take the chainsaw up the ladder. You show that leaf and that whole branch who’s boss!”
FC: Jeffy, you’re not exactly Jan Stenerud, so one of those “uprights” will be covering Daddy’s groin.
RMMD: Whatever’s going on between Autumn and Iggy Summer wants to do in real life. That includes lips which feel, and look, like they’re touching other lips. (And I’ll leave “lips” up to the reader.)
Our cockatiels loved eating (chicken) eggs.
Andy Capp:
“This one I’m holding here doesn’t need to be sold at auction, though, luv, because he’s already acquired his own substantial portfolio using his wealth management company!”
“Really, Andy? — what investment advisory service does he use?”
“Charles Squab!”
Pickles: The yuks continue when Opal discovers the toilet is clogged with Betsy’s ashes.
Pickles-Have you considered turning the water off to the toilet first?
FC-Protect your end zone, Daddy!
RMMD-That book turned into erotica rather quickly.
Shoe-Roz gets her eggs from unguarded nests.
Birds eating other birds is no different than mammals (humans) eating other mammals (cattle).
Now Shoe constantly being in public without clothing while all the other avian characters wear some, well, that’s the nightmare.
When you consider the dating scene in Shoe, those eggs are unfertilized, anyway.
Family Circus: I wonder who gave Jeffy the sweatshirt with the number of his brain cells on it?
Pickles Ha, yeah my mother-in-law is a real ‘plunger’ too! She’s always there when something goes wrong, doing the dirty work that no-one else wants to, asking no thanks or recognition. God, what a wonderful woman.
AC Ha, it’s funny because the price of goods often varies according to quality. Capitalism be crazy!
Shoe Ha, it’s funny because Skyler just realized he’s probably ingested a fatal quantity of salt. Better start working in your deathbed quips now, buddy!
AC: “A bird called ‘New Kim’ sold for over £1.3 at auction.”
Sid’s ears pick up.
Old Betsy helpfully clears the poop, but who’s so full of crap they clog the toilet? Well, Earl?
***
I searched “New Kim” and that story is true.
Reading the comics shouldn’t be radicalizing.
***
To be fair, we eat other mammals.
Shoe:
“Go ahead and make fun of my foodstuffs, Shoe, but I’ve managed to accumulate a tidy sum investing the proceeds of my sales into the artwork of the neo-expressionists!”
“Any particular artist whose works you’ve favored when making your purchasing decisions, Roz?”
“Nah. I don’t want to put all of my eggs into one Basquiat!”
I had questions about Andy Capp.
Then I realized, I don’t really care. Not that it’ll make any more sense.
SHOE: Would it make us feel better to think that Roz uses her own eggs? No. No it would not. I’m sorry for thinking of it.
MW: Ian has been through at least two “Toby has a fling” scares, so he should be cool with this. I mean, it’s not like she’s having sex with the bird, right? Right?
RMMD: “And then I read Page Three! I’m overcome with (fill in emotion)! I’ll get back to you when I’ve finished Page Four!
GT: “Let’s come together as a team and ‘accidentally’ trample my bitch of an ex-wife into the turf!”
On the topic of eggs, I was going to ramble a bit, about a particularly sadistic plot in an “Ice Age” easter special I had seen. (The almost killing of dozens of unhatched babies)
But I dunno, I think the ramble is burning out of me.
Wrecks Moregone:
“Autumn turns out to be a heartless murderess! I’ll murder Auuuuughie for this!”
__________________________
Wary Morth:
“Ahhhhh yes, a nice meddle coming up the moment Ian comes home and blows his gasket!”
RMMD: When I enlarged the page Summer is reading, it’s just latin filler. Is she saying; “Oh, my goodness! He’s nuts!” or “Oh, my goodness! I’m having a stroke!”
Andy Capp:
I assume Capp’s customer wasn’t Mike Tyson.
New Kim actually sold for 1.6 million pounds. Yes, I Googled “New Kim.” Curse you, Andy Capp, you drunken Cockney caricature.
@Val Dart:
A real life version of
“One, it’s good for you, and
two, it’s no one we know.”
AC: The detail I find most believable here is that Andy is repeating a fact he clearly just read last night on a beer mat or pub’s trivia machine as if it’s a deep insight. The detail I find least believable is that Flo seems to be having breakfast and Andy’s already awake rather than in an alcoholic coma.
“This is a nightmare!”
To be precise, it’s paedophagia.
New Kim sounds like Nuke ’em
That concerns me.
@Baja Gaijin: ian looks like Ahab at the moment he realised Moby was going to dive with him.
Auuuuughie’s book, your version, reads like some zombie fiction I’ve seen.
Shoe: Remember, that Kevin and Kell played up the whole “sapient eat sapient” for laughs….
The anime Beastars was pretty much “What if Kevin and Kell (rightfully) played it for drama instead?”
Both were soul-crushingly depressing.
RMMD:
“I still don’t understand this dedication that Augie has written for me — ‘Summer, this entire novel is an elaborate allegory for the punctuation mark which creates pauses between parts of a sentence, the assemblage of formal men’s wear, and the Egyptian sun god.’ Oh, no! — he’s referring to the comma, suit, Ra!”
“Well, sure, Old Kim contained the soul of Kim Jong Il and the North Koreans paid top dollar for it. Old Alfred only had the remains of Alfred the Great and the Kingdom of Wessex isn’t exactly rolling in cash these days, is it?”
I hope that plunger’s not as old as it looks. Nothing worse than having ancient rubber disintegrate and have to go shopping for a new plunger at 5 am.
Shoe: Here’s hoping Shoe contracts a threadbare shamus who’s no stranger to fisticuffs or the gun to investigate the disappearance of Treetops’ preborn citizens. It’s been a while since I’ve read a good hardboiled detective story.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (Bonus points if the detective gets his beak sliced, confirming in the process that nope, no nose hairs up there.)
Pickles: Surely Earl knew Mrs. Earl’s mother’s name already? Surely she’s heard this lame joke a thousand times already? [Checks where comic strip is set] Oh right, right, Pickles Memory Care Community, specializing in alcoholic dementia…
@The Rambling Otter: One thing that I learned, with most anthropomorphic-animal based fiction. In order to be “realistic” it has to be soul-crushingly depressing in every regard. (I rarely find works that aren’t, and furries love making things as realistic as they can with the scenarios given)
Phantom:
“Do we lead her to the general’s quarters?”
“Oh, yes. Now, his Washington Quarter set is pretty pedestrian, but his Seated Liberty, Barber and Bicentennial Quarter collections are all extremely valuable — and they’re all the result of ill-gotten gains through using the muckmen!”
DustinDad is stuffing food down his fat gullet, while sneering at the very idea of using some of his donut money to support deprived young people. Truly, the Christmas Season must be upon us.
@Hibbleton: To be fair, Lorem Ipsum is the perfect text for Rex Morgan.
If you stuff an unwrapped sandwich in your coat pocket you must be a demented vagrant. Or a Plugger.
@29 Ukranazi Stepan: I wrote how I thought Auuuuughie would. I can write better than that. How about you take a stab at writing a page.
@39 Rube: Um, I hate to tell you this, Ed doesn’t contribute to the office donut fund. He’s truly a despicable person. I hope he gets succotash and lemon compote casserole in his Christmas stocking.
The good news is, birds actually will eat their own eggs to recoup calcium so Shoe is accurate. The bad news is, well, everything I just said
MW “I didn’t tell Ian, Mary, I couldn’t! I literally do not have the brain capacity to figure out how to narrate the events into a telephone unless someone shows me first – you know that!”
JP Speaking of soul-crushingly depressing, wow, how great is it that the primary caregiver grandparents of Charlotte could take some time from their alcoholic stupor and online shopping to come here and therefore visit her on the holiday!
AC — Since the record sale seems to have held up for five years, it might have been a manifestation of COVID asset mania. No doubt Andy lost a packet on shares in a crypto Pigeoncoin and has been futilely attempting to recoup his investment ever since.
@Baja Gaijin: Oh, I know that Ed doesn’t kick in for the donuts he eats at the office. I’m talking about the dozen he stops and gets on the way home, so he can eat them while he changes lanes without signalling, and thinks up new insults about the meal his wife has cooked for him after wrapping up her own job.
Why am I not surprised that Marvin is patient zero of the next world wide plague.
FC: Jeffy manages to kick the ball a whole foot-and-a-half.
“Short, dumb, and spastic is no way to go through life, son.” Says Bill
Andy doesn’t even have to be that drunk to mistake a statue of Kim Jong Un for a pigeon.
Zits: A great bit and a repeat from 13 Feb 2017. It’s on the refrigerator door, to be replaced with today’s full color version.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Is the food really worth these prices?”
“Yes, sir! Take my word for it!”
“O-Ooh!”
“I’ll be paying with a rubber check”
Crankshaft : apparently doesn’t own a stepladder. And couldn’t get Jeff, or Max, or Mitch to help him by at least holding the ladder.
**********
Family Circus : Jeffy realised very young that the only times he’ll ever score points is when his dad has moved the goalposts for him.
***********
Moose and Molly : “Wow, look at his posture! Look at the way he’s sauntering! He must be in a very good mood!”
“Actually, I’m walking this way because my body locked up due to horrific cramps, I am in horrible pain.”
That’s it, that’s today’s joke everybody!
***********
Rex Morgan M.D. : “OH MY GOODNESS! After the five first chapters, it’s all just that ‘Lorem Ipsum’ filler! There’s no actual novel!”
**********
Shoe : Roz is actually glaring at Shoe because she feels VERY strongly about replacing ice salt with that weird “beet juice” stuff, because she heard it damages streets less.
Which infuriates Josh even more with a “THEY’RE BIRDS THEY CAN JUST FLY WHY WOULD THEY NEED ROADS WHERE THEY’RE GOING”Shoe: “Roz, what’s your secret to these scrambled eggs?”
“Did you ever wonder why you don’t have siblings?”
Six Chix: What is the joke here? It strikes me as an anti-trans attack. Am I misreading it?