Archive: Shoe

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Mary Worth, 12/4/21

Look, Wilbur, they’re fish. They’re fish! They’re fine, but the gulf between their world and a human’s is much wider than between, say, a human and a cat or dog, and no real emotional bond is going to arise. So you see, she can never love them like she loved y– ohhh, I get it now.

Gil Thorp, 12/4/21

Gotta admit that I’m kind of enjoying how this Gil Thorp storyline is wrapping up: will all the teen characters just shouting the things they’ve learned (?) over the course of the fall at each other at a rapid clip while standing on furniture. Have you kids all internalized these little life lessons? No? Too bad, basketball starts next week!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/4/21

The Hootin’ Holler setting of this strip has always been one created by and for flatlanders to play around with a very specific set of stereotypes about hillbilles, which has been going on for as long as anyone reading this has been alive, so at some level it’s kind of instructive to read it as “what do people living in mainstream America think life is like in Appalachia, or possibly what life was like in Appalachia during the Great Depression?” Anyway, the answer provided by today’s strip is “Well, there’s big piles of animal shit everywhere, but the native peoples have made an alliance with the amphibian world to help mitigate the negative side effects.”

Shoe, 12/4/21

“Yes, you read that right: the cast members gave birth on stage, only for their newly laid eggs to be cracked open, cooked, and devoured to the horror of the audience. We’re birds, remember? Birds! Also, this newspaper only has two employees, so we’re a little loose about what goes into our sensationalist crime coverage and what goes into theater reviews.”

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Mary Worth, 12/2/21

“JOSH” I can almost here you yelling, “You haven’t talked about Mary Worth all week! Is there something wrong with Mary Worth, or with you?” Well, I’m fine, so you know what that means: we’ve gotten exactly zero fun strips about Wilbur bonding with his new fish, and way too many strips where Estelle is thinking “Hmm, maybe I should get back together with Wilbur, oh also by the way I have a memory shorter than the goldfish who we should be seeing Wilbur bonding with right about now.” Anyway, I hope we turn things around on both fronts as Estelle goes to Wilbur’s apartment and finds him in his tub, squealing with delight as he frolics with his fishie friends, causing her to flee in horror and disgust.

Shoe, 12/2/21

We get it Biz, you have a girlfriend, you’re 90 years old and that’s impressive, stop rubbing it in our face. Also you’re a bird and you have … hair? Fake hair? That’s not impressive, that’s just weird, man.

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Dick Tracy, 11/24/21

It really tickles me to think that the various deformed criminals of Dick Tracy have their own fairly normal lives, from which they are occasionally called away in order to do bizarre crimes. Poor Mumbles was a date! He was having a great time with a nice girl! Now he’s gotta follow up on something some other guy screwed up? It’s not right! He doesn’t even get a gimp mask to conceal his identity!

Mary Worth, 11/24/21

Oh, man, Mary’s heavy-lidded expression in panel two as she contemplates who she can foist Wilbur onto is truly chilling. “Hmm, who do I know who completely hates themselves, who just has literally zero self-esteem, who’ll look at Wilbur and say ‘Yes! This is what I want. This is what deserve.’”

Shoe, 11/24/21

“Ha ha, get it? But seriously, Cate Blanchette murdered Elijah Wood, it’s real messed up actually.”