Sunday is for large bearded men
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Mary Worth, 11/30/25
Ahh, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: when Ian returns from his weeks-long “teachers conference” and confronts the bird who has taken his place and reduced him to a mere “friend” of the household. This bird was perfectly nice to Mary when she came over, so he obviously isn’t strictly speaking aggressive towards newcomers; rather, he just instinctively recognizes Ian as his main antagonist going forward and has decided to go on the attack from a position of strength as the current possessor of the disputed territory. I’m glad this week’s Sunday Mary Worth Quote® is from David Mamet, because that implies that the dialogue that ensues after the final panel is just a nonstop stream of colorful obscenities.
Pluggers, 11/30/25
Why is this plugger looking so depressed? Nobody’s making him eat that pie. Nobody’s making him work as a mall Santa either, unless you count his underfunded retirement account as “someone,” I guess. Still, you’d think he could at least spend a minute to enjoy the pie.
43 replies to “Sunday is for large bearded men”
I choose to believe that the squawk box in the last panel is also part of Ian’s dialog.
Slylock Fox-You’ll notice that it’s a long snake in the picture.
MW-“Master of my domain.” Are you really? I propose a contest.
FC-“Ask to see God’s bathroom.” The holy of holies.
Pluggers practice No-Shave November because they are physically unable to break No-Nut November anyway
Mary Worth: Ian goes by David Mamet’s famous slogan from Glengarry Glen Ross: ABC, or “Always Be Complaining.” Also, “Atta-Boy, Cameron.” And also, “Annoying Birds (belong in) Chowder.”
Pluggers: That’s his 15th piece of pie today. The look on his face is sheer exhaustion, combined with diabeetus.
Pluggers’ euthanasia involves a combination of hypothermia and diabetes
Plugger Santa gives a sarcastic “‘HO HO HO’ Yeah, I’m getting paid but it’s still fat shaming.”
RMMD: Augie is understandably confused, he’s never been on the receiving end of a booty call before.
Pluggers: Santa’s family exiled him outside during mid-dessert due to obnoxious political views and body odor.
MW: Sorry, Ian, but ‘Master of my Domain’? Do you mean to say that you’re irritable you hadn’t masturbated during your trip, or have you just never seen Seinfeld?
Pluggers Ok that’s all good and well, but why is he eating outside? Turkey farts? Probably turkey farts.
Mary Worth:
“A nickel saved is a nickel earned. Okay, so this comment is not really pertinent to the current story line, but it is Sunday Quote Box day, and I am trying to be au courant.”
— Benjamin Franklin
Pluggers: How fat do you have to be to wear suspenders with sweatpants? THAT fat.
FC: Adult Jeff did a good job this morning eliminating dated references from today’s old strip.
The original punchline was “and it’s confederate money!”
MW — Seems like Ian needs some QUALITY PELLETS to calm him down–the good ones, the Glengarry pellets. . .
Luann : Bernice should stop speaking in a way designed to obfuscate and confuse what she’s trying to say to mess with Luann; Luann just hears what she wants to hear anyway.
….And hearing “You should keep only what you like, and get rid of what you hate” leading Luann to go “I’m keeping Puddles. Get the Hell out of my room, my house and MY LIFE, Bernice.”, which is the
correct, extremely belated andexpected reaction.…It’s going to turn out I read this comic wrong and it’s LUANN who is leaving her own HER OWN ROOM, isn’t it?…***********
Mary Worth : Who knew that BIRDS is what would get Ian Cameron to start acting like his old self again? We need to book a Mary Worth/Shoe crossover for the next storyline!
***********
Pluggers : are not miserable, it’s just that the giant droopy beard is concealing their massive smile underneath, and the droopiness is giving the ILLUSION of a frown.
PLUGGERS: He’s depressed in advance about how much pie he’s going to lose in that beard.
MW: I’m 10% sympathetic towards Ian, 40% disgusted with his chauvinism and 50% laughing my ass off, because damn, that was FUNNY!
RMMD: “But, Summer, it’s been two years. I’ve moved on! Now, go away, or you’ll wake the baby.”
Pluggers: Looks more like it was No-Shit November, hopefully that’s pumpkin pie with a modicum of fiber.
You think it’s bad now Ian, wait till you see this month’s credit card statement. Quality pellets and fancy cages ain’t cheap.
Mary Worth:
“Toby, dear, I’m home! — and there’s great news: I’ve just snagged the title role in the Santa Royale Players’ forthcoming production of ‘Haystack Calhoun: The Musical‘ !”
Mary Worth:
“What are you so upset about, Ian? — he flew over to me from the docks of Santa Royale, and now he simply wants to subject you to pier review!”
Pluggers:
“I’m going as Wilford Brimley for Halloween next year!”
Yes, Ian is extremely into David Mamet. This is absolutely in line with my understanding of him, he has a worn, dog-eared copy of Oleanna that he keeps in his breast pocket at all times.
MW: First he meets Sunny and now Ian has to tell Toby they’re moving to the Glengarry Highlands, Fla.
“Stop crying!” He yells “Stocks, bonds, objects of art, real estate. What are they? An opportunity. To what? To make money? Perhaps. To lose money? Perhaps. To ‘indulge’ and to ‘learn’ about ourselves? Perhaps. So fucking what? What isn’t? They’re an opportunity. That’s all they are. Now, get rid of that effing bird!!!”
MW: It’s been seven or eight years since Brigman took over artistic duties on Mary Worth, but she’s never had a chance to draw a proper Ian meltdown until now. All I can say is it was worth the wait.
Mary Worth:
It’s always a winning strategy to get on a wild animal’s good side by shouting at it.
AhabIan has found his greatwhite whalegreen parrot.Wrecks Moregone:
Unfortunately, Auuuuughie has already called his agent to withdraw the book and destroyed all other copies.
____________________________
Flylock Socks:
Naked Weirdly!!!!!! My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m looking forward to Sunny plucking hairs out of Ian’s beard while he sleeps in order to build a nest. Sure, parrots for the most part don’t build nests, but it’ll be a good way to fuck with him.
Pluggers: He gets the pie, but his wife kicked him out of the house (probably for sneaking too much pie) so he’s slowly freezing to death.
@Bob Tice: The diabetes he’ll get from the pie can only add to the portrayal.
Mary Worth:
While Toby would like a paesano
Irked Ian shouts, “Mano a mano!”
But Toby prevails
While Cameron flails –
He’ll douse the Perfesser with guano!
I honestly thought that was gonna be a joke about how you can’t eat pie with a full beard without getting it ALL OVER YOUR WHISKERS and grossing everyone out.
Sunny, told by Toby to “Down, boy!” will content himself by barking at Ian.
Dogs are good!
MW: “If you warned me that there was a bird in the house, I would have cleaned all the seedy crumbs out of beard.”
MW: Ian looks like he was about to launch into ‘O What a Beautiful Morning’ from ‘Oklahoma!’ as he made his entrance.
MW2: Wilbur’s about to get a new drinking buddy…
RMMD: Augie Doggy Ding Dong Daddy, this situation just resolved itself with no real effort required on your part! You’re about to get the sex you allegedly want! Lose the expression that says ‘Wimmen! Can’t live wit’em, can’t live widdout ’em!’
DT: Ah, this must be the Yelrah Nniuq to this guy’s Rekoj! Where’s HER costume?
JP: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand so…
MW – Just a reminder, Toby. A parrot is not a dog. If you say “down boy” to a parrot, the best you’ll get in return is “Squawk! Down boy! Squawk!”
MW: That bird seems suspiciously aggressive. Maybe Toby’s been training it to attack Ian, and her “Down, boy” is a clever way of diverting suspicion? No, putting “Toby” and “clever” together doesn’t work.
Maybe the leader of the gang of criminal parrot smugglers looks like Ian? We already had Belle’s brother and his “vomit a little in your mouth” resemblance to Wilbur.
A&J Bumping asses today.
MW – Hey – if it comes down to it, keep the bird, dump the chin-beard. That’s the smart move. The other option is chin-beard loses a leg to type 2 diabetes, and Sunny pecks out one of his eyes….
Pluggers – No Pants November landed Santa on the Sex Offender Registry….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: Just his luck, Ian ate a sesame seed bagel for breakfast. [Squawk!] “Get out of my beard, birdbrain!”
Luann: today’s installment is far too wordy for me but did Luann just kick Bernice out?
RMMD Odds this is going to end with *Summer* apologizing for ever having been upset about Augie barely disguising her as a character and showing enough of her trauma in the early storyline to get through even her thick skull – because he did change a few details in the ending, and that somehow makes it all better?
“Feathered menace” is also the name of the unholy crossover between “Dennis” and “Shoe”
MW: Well, it wasn’t the Birds-inspired fever dream that I hoped for, but it did have Ian getting attacked by a parrot so I’m good. Get his blustering, patriarchal ass, Sunny!
Sunday. JUNGLE JIM! Dig it.
Dead men tell tales but is it the truth?