Boring vs. sad: Battle for soap opera supremacy
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/22/26
You really gotta give it up for today’s Rex Morgan, M.D.: it truly offers a master class in absolutely nothing happening. Rex asks if his and June’s current situation could get any less interesting, and June counters that she plans to quietly read books on her tablet, something that would be interesting for her but very boring for anyone who might be watching her in a visual medium like the comics. Rex then proposes an extremely low-stakes bit of tension: will they call his name soon, or will he have to wait around for a while? This is resolved in that very panel, as his name is called almost immediately. A truly wondrous series of soap opera panels. These two did not in fact have sex in the lead-up to all this, just in case you were wondering.
Judge Parker, 1/22/26
You know how Alan’s been drunk and depressed ever since Randy disappeared? Well, apparently he forgot that he had another child whose location he could be very sure of, since she was in prison, and that he could’ve confided in her, or at least told her about her brother’s disappearance. They let you get letters in there, you know! And make occasional phone calls! Whoops! It’s easy to let that sort of thing slip your mind, I guess, when you’re very sad and very drunk.
72 replies to “Boring vs. sad: Battle for soap opera supremacy”
JP: “Well, have you ever heard of a ‘goon cave’? Randy’s fine, he’s just been working it like a claw a lot lately.”
RMMD:
“June, who is this ‘Fanny Hill‘ person whose ‘Memoirs‘ you’re reading, anyway?”
JP: You would think, at some point, that Alan would come to the door to see what’s taking so long. Or to greet his granddaughter, who is supposed to be arriving and whom he supposedly loves. But I guess scowling in an empty room takes the priority.
RMMD: In every writing class I’ve ever been a part of, they teach the importance of editing out unnecessary scenes. For example, characters sitting in a waiting room talking about how bored they are. But auteur comic creator Terry Beatty knows better. Cutting out the boring stuff? No, that’s what they’d expect! Gotta keep ’em guessing.
MW: How and when did Sunny’s beak turn into Bruce Campbell’s chin?
RMMD:
“Is there anything more dull than sitting in a waiting room?”
“Umm, Buck Wise?”
“As Richard Dawson of blessed memory would say on Family Feud, June, ‘Good answer!’ “
RMMD: I like to think the disembodied word balloon in panel three belongs to June.
“I just hope they call my name soon.”
“Your name? You mean Rex?”
JP:
“What happened? Where’s Randy, Katherine?”
“He’s been retconned into a pathetic, jejune caricature of himself — just like everyone else in this strip has been since August, 2016!”
“Oh, okay. Thanks!”
MW-Sunny is hoping to become bi-species.
RMMD-“And none of these magazines are more than five years old.”
Crankshaft-“I’ll never forget his words to me ‘Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.'”
RMMD – thank god they called him or he would have had a full revelation about the effects of long waits for medical treatment on the patient. Instead, he can just keep thinking the irritated people he sees are just ungrateful and pissy naturally.
RMMD:
“I just hope they call my name soon.”
” ‘ Rex “Soon” ‘? — nah. People would make fun of it, because your name would sound as if you were going to be getting into some kind of vehicle accident in the near future. What’s wrong with ‘Rex Morgan’ ?”
RMMD: It’s only when Rex is on the edge of consciousness and going under that he realizes that the eye surgeon is Rene Belusso. “Nooooo…!“
JP-Randy finally found someone who could satisfy him and is no longer randy.
RMMD: Some people see waiting as a queue-risis, while others see it as an oppor-queue-nity.
RMMD: Enjoy that “no kids” feeling, June. You’re about to spend 4-8 weeks with a giant baby.
MW: Sunny is NOT thinking about learning a new language. How jolly will Ian be when he finds his study transformed into a birdie bordello?
9CL: It’s cute when he tries to make the strip look like it’s about more than a bunch of chin-challenged sleazeballs.
JP:
“Where’s Randy, Katherine?”
“Having a bite to eat with Judge Crater!”
“Oh that’s right you wouldn’t know. You can read the the strips from the previous months if you want to catch up with the storyline”
“Hold on, I am not so desperate to know!”
I think the Morgans teed up the possibility of sex and then abandoned it on purpose. I think not having sex is the Morgans’ version of having sex. It gets both of them what they want; Rex gets to avoid having to interact with another human being, and June gets to see Rex not get something.
RMMD “Is there anything more dull than sitting in a waiting room?” I dunno, watching someone sitting in a waiting room?
JP “Where’s Randy? Katherine? Wasn’t there a judge in this strip at one point?”
Phantom: “We quit carrying guns for Chuma just in time … now we’re carrying these guns just for ourselves! Ah, it feels good to be a self-employed gun thug on the make, something the Jungle Patrol and the certainly the Phantom have never ever taken an interest in!”
CS: Is this supposed to be self-deprecation? Because it’s WAY too accurate. Batton Thomas is more of a spot-on roasting of Tom Batiuk than Skunky Funkybuns* was. He’s a tedious, needlessly smug egomaniac with a need to drone on about things nobody cares about. And he’s still bitter he didn’t get that comic book job.
Luann: If anyone ever asks me what “lost the plot” means, I would show them the last 10 days of Luann. This story shifted from Interrupted Intimacy to True Art Is Incomprehensible without a clutch.
Pluggers: What did this man remember at 2 a.m., his war crimes?
* – if you don’t know what I’m referring to, find it on YouTube. It’s very funny. RIP Dan Ronan.
RMMD: “Rex? Dr. Godot will see you now.”
RMMD: ‘Rex? Could you just shut up for two seconds? I told you I’m trying to read!’
Luann: ‘Mr. Frip’ is one of the center’s dementia patients. He’s about to start ripping the clothes down and stomping on them while beating Luann with his walker, thinking she’s his long-suffering (and long dead) wife. ‘I said to get that @#$%&! dryer FIXED, woman!’
@Lauralot:
On JP – Or he could be lying dead from a stroke brought on by all the booze. That would add some much needed ‘DRAMA!!’ to this snoozefest.
RMMD — Two middle-aged patients requiring medical treatment.
Walter White: Say my name.”
Rex Morgan: “I just hope they call my name soon.”
JP Sorry Ann, your attempt as a parolee to bring the strip back to legal topics is too late, they’ve sunk too far into an alcoholic governmental assassin state
MW as Sunny makes lovey-dovey eyes, Rosie just wants to get him alone to berate him for abandoning their smart-as-humans flock, they have plans to start the Animalpocalypse, darn it!
Rex, your wife is desperately trying to avoid a conversation with you, and she’s not being subtle about it, either. “I’m good, I have dozens of books on my tablet. Some uninterrupted reading time sounds great. I never get uninterrupted reading time, y’know, what with the kids and the dogs and the constantly self-centered monologuing husb– I mean, uh, laundry, I never get to do anything uninterrupted anymore. You enjoy the weird color-changing wall behind us and listen, dog-like, to hear your own name, I’ll be over here with Infinite Jest and the joy of knowing you’ll be in a different room soon.”
Barney Googled:
Snuffy Smif wants action, does he? Tuttle can just tell him of the life of St Moses the Black. But the exploits of a giant bandit-punching 4th century Ethiopian hieromonk who was once a gang leader might be too much action for him.
_______________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
“Rex? It’s you, you @#£%^&*! Where’s the 15 years of child support you owe me for our daughter?!?”
_______________________________
Wary Morth:
What’s Spanish for “is that a seed in your beak, or are you just happy to see me?”
@Anonymous: Oh rats, this is my comment but I forgot to fill in my name, I’m less anonymous than I appear to be, dangit
RMMD: Once, when I was waiting for the Doctor an older man who was also waiting was talking to someone.
He quips “We need patience while we wait, that’s why they call us Patients.”
That always stuck with me.
On yesterday’s “Intelligent Life”, I realized, maybe a little too late. That the driver of the car “Skip?” gave the goggle eyes of horror towards the bald guy’s comment. Then I realized, “Is that the joke, that what he said is SUPPOSED to be stupid and pointless, that it shocked the other guy? Was this the intended humour of this stupid comic the entire time, that they’re losers who ask lame questions?”
I genuinely thought that Rex and June were sitting His ‘n’ Hers matching wheelchairs in panel one.
Which would go well with their matching, shiny hair helmets. Is that… nice?
Panel 3 is my favorite this week. The genuine despair in Rex’s eyes as he makes his one wish, “I just hope they call my name soon,” like there’s no other way to end his suffering. Genuinely
hilariousmoving.@Lawyerbob: COTW nomination
Don’t you lie, Rex Morgan narration box. June is very much checked out.
Since Rex is one of the few people in his own strip who dresses like a normal person in 2026, I’m hoping he gets to wear comically hipster glasses after this. Horn rims or pince-nez, please!
***
“Oh. That’s right. You wouldn’t know. The entire family is ashamed of you so we cut you out completely, we even changed all of our numbers which is why you had to show up without calling first.”
JP: I believe that as a parolee, Ann is required to not associate with known felons, like, you know, Judge Parker Sr., but maybe it’s for the best. Once she learns that her brother went missing searching for his assassin wife; that her felon father is a hopeless, bitter alcoholic; that her step-mom is a useless enabler; and that her too-old-for-her-years niece’s upbringing has been farmed out to an aimless trust fund kid, Ann will probably welcome a return to the structure and stability of prison life.
DtM: Sorry, kid. You’re too young to work here but thanks for asking. Have a cookie.
Cut!
Nice, but let’s try it again and add some rage.
JP: Was Katherine created in grace and free from sin? She gets younger looking in every panel.
@Lauralot re: RMMD (or, “Rammed,” as I pronounce it): It’s clear that Terry Beatty’s mission statement is to only feature the boring parts. It’s like a black hole of boring and we’re stuck on the event horizon.
Otherwise, would like to call attention to The Legend of Bill, which, through a convoluted story about the silly lead character and some teleportation disks, has been doing a grand tour of some comic strips this week. The previous tour was last August. https://www.seattletimes.com/comics-king/?feature_id=legend-of-bill
RMMD: Is there anything more dull than sitting in a waiting room?
Try reading the current Crankshaft “story”.
Dustin: This strip is making me sympathize with Rex and June’s attitude towards sex. See also 9CL most days of the week.
RMMD: June may have said “No dogs, no kids,” but in her mind she added “Husband out of the picture” as well. Unrestrained delight!
“Rex?”
“Right here.”
“Oh, no, sir, not you. Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex? Arm lengthening surgery?”
“Yo.”
Hours pass.
“Rex?”
“That’s me.”
“Oh, no, sorry sir, I mean this beagle here, Rex. Neutering?”
“Arf!”
Hours pass.
“Rex?”
“Yes. Right here.”
“Nope. The band T. Rex, here for tinnitus assessment?”
“That’s us, mate.”
Hours pass.
“Rex?”
“yes”
“Clinic’s closed, come back tomorrow.”
Phantom:
“That’s got to be Jungle Patrol! — they’re flying in the exact opposite direction from the direction in which they see us running!”
DT: This hotel cleaner is quite the shrinking violet, isn’t she? Has she never seen a penis before, or is Mr. Mirror packing a choad of such magnitude it renders her awestruck?
“Everything happened so fast”. This is the first time anyone has ever said that about “Judge Parker”
JP: Katherine’s self-righteous indignation has hit new highs today. “Oh that’s right, you’ve been too busy paying your debt to society and being treated like you don’t exist by your relatives to bother to keep track of everything we’ve been going through. God, you are so selfish sometimes!”
RMMD: I forget which episode it was, but Mystery Science Theater 3000 had a bit during a bad spy movie where they would sing a James Bond riff to the mundane actions of the protagonist. I’ve been thinking of that a lot during this latest Rex Morgan adventure. (Sitting in a waiting room! BA-DA-BA-DAAAAAA!)
RMMD – If only we could hack into June’s tablet and insert a book called “1000 Hairstyles That Don’t Look Ridiculous.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Whatcha writing, Pierre?”
“Notes about my latest experiment on the boss”
“If you don’t feed him he reverts to his primitive instincts”
“I’ll have to put a lock on the fridge”
DT: I would assume high on the list of policies you’d want your hotel cleaning staff to adhere to is “don’t open a room for anyone, no matter what kind of sob story they tell you or how weirdly disfigured they are under their mirror mask, they have to go to the front desk for assistance,” but hey, what do I know?
Dustin: “I guess that’s one approach…if you have a husband who cares about what arouses you. I don’t have any personal experience with that.”
Luann: Far be it from me to question the artistic insights of eternal twelve-year-old Luann deGroot, but I think she’s confusing the reaction to art (which is specific to the individual) with the meaning of art, which is dictated by the artist. If, for example, I said I thought Guernica was about a pastoral harvest festival I would be laughed at, and probably cause a lot of people to question my knowledge, taste, and/or sanity. But then again, the meaning of Nil’s installation seems to be “let’s just hang up some old clothes in the old folks’ home or whatever” so I guess you can make of that what you like.
Dustin: Two Hitachis worn out? It’s good that they were vacuum cleaners.
JP:
Since the extended Parker-Driver-Spencer clan is Cavelton’s royalty, and since so many of the goings-on of the family have been so notorious that they have been depicted as attracting national press, wouldn’t Ann’s parole have attracted at least some media attention? Do Sam and Katherine not read the newspaper, in hard print or virtually? I mean, I realize that indulging in fiction requires a certain “willing suspension of disbelief,” but c’mon.
Rex? More like Nervous Rex. Eye surgery, as these things go, is kind of a nothingburger. I have nursed a spouse through LASIK surgery, and a parent through both cataract surgeries – and a blepharoplasty, come to think of it.
I’m team June. Get a good book and ignore your Man Baby.
@TheDiva: #43: re-RMMD: The movie was “Agent from H.A.R.M.” starring Peter Mark Richman as the spy protagonist. It was a pilot for an unsold TV series. I remember the bots making fun of his rather stodgy looking beige Mercedes convertable and pointing out he looked more like your dad’s alcoholic golf buddy than a superstar trying to save the world.
Luann – The sock pegged to the pair of boxers… is my interpretation that it represents a phallus right or wrong? If I’m right, it is so, so wrong. Especially with the contrasting pink “toe”.
@Vanya: This strip is making me sympathize with Rex and June’s attitude towards sex. See also 9CL most days of the week.
I’d put this week’s Luann at the head of the class on that count. I feel like I’m like watching Singles Night at Bob Jones University. Not only does it make future parenthood seem distasteful, but it makes the actual sex act seem cringeworthy and not worth pursuing.
RMMD: The italic lettering, question mark, and use of first name only makes me think that “Rex?” isn’t the nurse calling him, but some random character who’s also at the eye clinic and is surprised to see Rex.
However that would create a tiny smidge of dramatic tension as we wait to see who it is, which is not the RMMD style, which makes me doubt my conclusion.
@TheDiva:
On Dick Tracy : …I wonder if Newspaper Spider-man ever forget to stash spare civilian clothes, and was also reduced to “Okay, the reason I’m completely naked is that I was taking a shower before locking myself out of my own appartment. Please help me back into my appartment”, ’cause that sounds like a screw-up he would do.
On Dustin : there’s actually a really risqué joke about a guy who has marital problems wearing out multiple vaccuum cleaners, but the strip would never go there.
On Luann, and Nil’s artistic intentions : Oh yeah, one has to remember during this that the reason Phil doesn’t get any higher meaning to this installation is because THERE ISN’T. Like, Nil’s attitude towards HIS OWN ART is “it’s all just lazy, thrown-together bullshit that gets over-rated by pretentious idiots” (even though he’s quick to monetize it for fame & fortune), not to mention that it’s not Nil who set up the clothes, it was Luann and Phil, under the “strict” instructions of “I dunno. Do whatever. Act juvenile, I guess.”
@Old School Allie Cat: I suspect Luann is really into Katy Perry. All her songs seem to have that Beavis and Butt-head level sexuality that thinks putting a pink sock in the location of a penis is funny. (Perry’s Christian background is just gravy for my “this is a fundamentalist world” interpretation of the comic strip.)
JP: If you’ll recall, when the doorbell rang, Katherine was expecting Neddy to be dropping off Li’l Charlotte. Neddy apparently had a Jedi-like “bad feeling about this” and did a U-turn.
RMMD: Rex talking about the dullness of the waiting room must mean that he’s starting to empathize with his own patients and this will affect his relations with—ha-ha JK he’ll learn nothing.
@Old School Allie Cat: genitalia don’t exist in the Evansii universe, so, no.
CS: Oh, Mr. Sherry
Gave me a check
I cashed it, cashed it
Oh, Mr. Sherry
(With apologies to Steve Perry)
I really want this to be leading up to the revelation that Rex is illiterate.
@Peanut Gallery:
Espero que estén planeando un golpe de estado.
@Hibbleton: That would be a great twist!
Slylock Fox: Shouldn’t that be “Yoinks” instead of “snatch”??
RMMD: Rex and June have made the CLASSIC error. They filled in the kiosk questionnaire but never actually checked in at the desk (with a human being that RMMD wanted). Due to a glitch and general inattentiveness (the clerical front desk were gabbing about their complex lives and struggles with their significant others and their writing careers) that no one notices that the little marker blip next to Rex’s name shows he is here, and just assume he is late or a no-show.
That person calling his name is someone else who works at the hospital and wants Rex to spill the beans as to why he is here. This will create a huge HIPPA violation as Rex proceeds to gab about not only his own history but that of similar patients he has had in the past – right there in the waiting room.
Phantom: This is a three helicopter emergency! The deputy commander is still stewing over being forced to actually do something rather than sitting waiting to be told to act.
Mary Worth: OK – so the two birds know each other – they will now swap souls with Toby and Ian taking over the human bodies. Toby won’t notice the difference but Ian will squawk and squawk.
JP: Yes, getting paroled is like a quick 2 hour thing. One day you are in jail and a few moments later you are on the street. Talk about turn-stile justice. As for Sam and Randy, those are very good questions. Katherine knows that their bodies are secretly buried under where the new stables are being erected. They, and CIApril will gradually fade from our memories and allow a new strip to take over.
Gil Thorp: Nice background work, and a great talk to the hand by Coach Gerads. Jason Margos has a Paul Pope like vibe – lots of creases and furrows – like many people in real life!
Flash Gordon: Now Bok is now showing his bias. Just because the Sharkmen are mean and try to bully and murder a lot of people it doesn’t mean they can’t have good aesthetic designs. A submarine that can fly! That is pretty amazing. Maybe if they made them look like the flying sub from that old Irwin Allen TV show “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” it would go over better.
Dick Tracy: It has been that sort of day for the maid – this person is the 5th person who got locked out of his room! At least he had clothes on! From yesterday, so the Mirror’s mirror face mask is a giant lens? Does the Mirror wear a balaclava and the lens “snaps” onto a receiver?
I keep forgetting to sign my name too.
Oops, that was me.
I sure miss the days when every woman except Sophie in Judge Parker was eye candy. Remember that cruise with April strutting around in a bikini? When Catharine wore slinky gowns to dinner? Neddy in hot pants? The Seattle Times “Judge Parker” splash page remembers! Damn!
Rex Morgan: Least boring Rex Morgan installment.
Judge Parker: This storyline is gonna be a challenging read. Not because of it’s content or anything, but because Ann and Katherine look like clones of one another and it’s gonna be real easy to get them mixed up.
Ah, but what if you wrote a letter to your daughter in prison only to find out she had been paroled before it arrived? That would be a lot of time wasted. Better not to send the letter, just in case.
@Bob Tice: #9RMMD- Nothing ever happens “soon” in this strip.
DtM: What jumps out the most to me today is the look of righteous indignation on the face of the employee in the background. It’s a mild “How dare you?” look, but we all know that inwardly she’s struggling not to burst out laughing at her stuffed shirt boss’ expense.
JP: Prediction: Anne was not pardoned. With some outside help (including a change of clothing), she broke out of prison, and, running scared, came to her perpetually drunk dad’s home to hide out (again). Sooner or later, she will make tracks for…Norway.
@ectojazzmage: Manley forgot about the all-important “contrasting hair color” thing, his go-to for differentiating his identical women.
Seeing that poor Charlotte sports bubble-gum flavored pink tresses, I guess he’s running out of shades.
@Rover Berkeley: The customs officers at Oslo airport will confiscate Ann’s hat, as it constitutes a mockery of cold climate attire. Norwegians are very strict about stupid hats.
@Rover Berkeley:
JP: Prediction: Anne was not pardoned. With some outside help (including a change of clothing), she broke out of prison, and, running scared, came to her perpetually drunk dad’s home to hide out (again). Sooner or later, she will make tracks for…Norway.
Yeah, the ENTIRE CAST moves to Norway!… And then, they fall through a hole in the space time continuum and end up in some weird, anachronistic, medieval-fantasy viking land! And the family regains it’s title as judges there, so long story short, from then on whenever a judge sentences Hagar to be burned at the stake, it’ll be Judge Parker in a crossover cameo.