Roller coaster Friday
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/13/26
Wow, this one’s a real emotional roller coaster. At first, we think Mud’s going to have to eat breakfast in his room again, but then, we’re reminded — Lorna Mae Mae is on the job as a waitress! Mud will be eating like a king in the cafe this morning! Sweet!
Intelligent Life, 3/13/26
Wow, this one’s a real emotional roller coaster. At first, we think that whichever one of the insufferable Intelligent Life guys this is has some kind of incurable disease or condition. But then it turns out that he’s just going to be poor, and won’t be able to afford comic books or Funko Pops or tickets to nerd movies anymore, which is honestly even more satisfying.
Pluggers, 3/13/26
Ha ha, pluggers are aging and in constant pain, and even their favorite songs from their youth are a cruel reminder of that fact! That’s not really much of a roller coaster at all, honestly, just sort of a constant forward movement in a single direction, which is towards death.
77 replies to “Roller coaster Friday”
At last, Mud gets to proudly eat his Froot Loop And Cheese omelet within the sight of others, though he slightly fears the cast of Gunsmoke MIGHT just miss him.
I always enjoy any misery for the IL tools, but apparently so does the Great Beyond! Anwar Sadat totally came back to Earth to fuck with this clown! Can ya beat that?
RMMD:
“Now if I go to the cafe, Doug, do I have to have pants on?”
If we collected every Pluggers that tells this SAME DAMN JOKE, would we have a mosaic big enough to cover the whole Berlin Wall? Ahhh, you got that reference, didn’t you? Plugger! PLUGGER!
Today’s Pluggers puts the “anus” in “John McManus”.
RMMD:
“You blend in rather nicely, Doug, in a musical way, with the side of the room to your right!”
“How so, Mud?”
” ‘All in all, you’re just a-
nother brick in the wall’ !”
RMMD-Sorry, Mud, but you have to go to the cafe for food. No more free meals for guests through room service.
MW-Mary is just jealous that someone isn’t sending her money.
FC-Oh Mommy does have diaries but you have to pay for them.
Archie-Being a redhead is at the top of the list.
RMMD: The narration box is being modest. At the technologically advanced Glenwood motel, the universal remotes double as cordless phones.
Mud likes to announce the primary flavor of his meals before he eats them. It can be assumed that cereal or waffles or something is on the menu for today’s breakfast, but Mae Mae may be confused when he comes into the cafe tomorrow and exclaims “umami!”, only to complain when asked for any further identification of his preferred meal.
Pluggers:
With their avoirdupois and their tremulous movements, pluggers tax the capacity of both the bathroom scale and the Richter scale.
RMMD — And out of nowhere, Mud Mountain Murphy is hit with the bolt of inspiration for his new song, “No More Room Service at the Glenwood Motel.”
I’ve been hiding in my room, takin’ calls on Zoom
Livin’ on cold eggs and ham.
But now God sent me Mae Mae,
Gonna start a new way
No more room service at the Glenwood Motel.
Each morning when I wake up, I see her for a fresh cup
She knows the way I want it to be.
She opens up the cafe
And brightens up a new day
No more room service at the Glenwood Motel.
RMMD: Great news! Mud can sit at a table, instead of wreaking havoc on the bed linens while he inhales 50 pancakes.
RMMD: And the “People Cheerfully Rejecting Idleness” Trilogy is complete.
IL: There’s something sinister about the way that these two are slowly rising above the bottom of the frame. It’s as if gravity doesn’t exist in this universe, and the word balloons are the only things keeping them from floating into the stratosphere. I guess this is why they never stop talking inanely about non-specific sci fi movies.
RMMD:
“Gotta stay in here, Doug! — I’ve got this watery nasal and ocular discharge right now, and it’s inspired me to work on a little number that I’m calling ‘In My Rheum‘ !”
If the guys in Intelligent Life are rendered unable to buy tickets to the next Avengers movie, Star Wars movie, or [other current big-IP franchise] movie, there are two roads they could take; one would be to learn the ways of the Pirate Bay, and the other would be a sharp pivot from faux-witty banter about movies to faux-witty banter about the state of the economy, in podcast form.
DtM: Dad looks more like he spent the night bar- hopping with Thirsty Thurston.
Mary Worth Mashup: Someone else was in the park, in this missing final panel.
Snuffy Smith: Elviney has one nostril. ELVINEY IS A MELONHEAD! Whodathunkit?
Family Circus: Dolly, Mommy doesn’t have post-marriage diaries because they’d be pages and pages of “My children are mondo drongos.”
MW: Flashback to Toby in the shoe store, trying on those…things…admiring the reflection of her feet in the slanted mirror of the low, cushioned stool as she considers them from various angles. “Yes…yes….hmmm. I like the color! They seem to fit well, but gosh, they sure LOOK big—in fact, they make me think of cement overshoes heh heh—but all that extra padding (especially behind the heel!) makes them surprisingly comfortable! I admit, they’re pretty heavy—REALLY heavy…!—I guess that must be the thick sole. But after all, the weight of these shoes will just enhance my workout. No laces, sporty stripes—and, hey! they’re on sale, too! Sold!”
Intelligent Life: I can’t believe I’m saying I want more Intelligent Life but I kind of want to see an extended storyline where this guy starts a GoFundMe saying “Hey, I’m in perfect health and my doctor’s charging me a fortune for not doing anything! Help me out!”
RMMD: I know we all guessed long about that there’s going to be a romance between Mud and Lorna, but maybe Beatty will surprise us for once and give us the thrilling connection between Mud and his breakfast, like Harley Quinn and her egg sandwich in Birds of Prey.
Crankshaft: Hannah just clicked Accept without knowing all the terms. If Max wasn’t such a good man, that might come back to bite her.
Lockhorns: The Jets have Geno Smith again, Leroy. Good thing you kept that #7 jersey; bad thing is that the Jets are a QB graveyard.
HtH: Don’t worry, nobody’s expecting it to be called a smorgasbord.
FC: After “Dear Diary: Accidents will happen. Again.” Thel started burning them.
MW: Toby knows what to say so she doesn’t get meddled. “You were right, Mary, you’re always right!”
Marvin: Another week of Marvin being a disagreeable little…well, but hey, no feces or urine jokes.
Phantom: All of next week is going to be members of the Jungle Patrol going about their day, in the barracks, walking through hallways, going to restrooms, eating at the mess hall, with thought bubbles that read “It’s not right.”
Dick Tracy: “We’re in luck! We’re going to drive this UTV all the way to Mexico…or Canada…whichever’s closer to wherever ‘State’ is.”
I like to imagine the Insufferable Life friends are the only thing keeping Funko Pops from going under in the year of our Lord 2026, and if this medical bill leads to the Funko market crashing, well, I’m for it.
Blondie: Funny (?) how Blondie’s marriage to a guy with extreme eating and sleep disorders really comes in handy career-wise.
FC: “Well, Dolly, after a certain point, sustained introspection turns into an exercise in masochistic self-torture if you don’t have the wherewithal to change the circumstances causing your misery. Wait, did I say that out loud?”
@Baja Gaijin: While this is fantastic, I was not fully awake and I think that Wilbur jump scare took a year off my life.
Pluggers: You laugh, Josh, but just you wait.
DtM: Now we know why Dennis is an only child. Well, one of the reasons, at least.
@Charterstoned: Some poor shoe store that accidentally ordered a few Cardiostrides despite their limited client base was overjoyed by the sale to Toby!
(Of course extra-big-soled shoes weighted on purpose to increase your workout exist:)
Rex Morgan, MD: I wish I could experience the kind of joy Mud Mountain does by just talking into my TV remote.
Family Circus: My mom would tell me stories about how she used to go skating, or hiking, or other fun things and when I asked her why she didn’t do them any more, she’d say, “I got married.” That’s one of the reasons I waited 56 years to marry. But it’s only one reason. The other is that nobody asked me until then.
Phantom Careful Jungle Patrol, all this introspection might lead to questioning your lack of integration with societal oversight, never mind the unquestioning obedience to a never-seen shadowy Commander. You think this isn’t right, well that’s just the beginning….
@Charterstoned: Must be the same shoes Olive Pickles just bought.
RMMD- let’s all hope for a “meet-cute” with Mud and Mae Mae. I’m leaning towards a pot of coffee in his lap.
Pluggers: Well, it is like a roller coaster in that Pluggers experience a long, grueling climb to a high point, then a speedy descent ending in terrified screams. At least that’s what a guy like me can hope for, right?
@Maltmash3r: HEY BABY, EVER HEARD WHY THEY CALL ME “MUD MOUNTAIN”?
Kudos to Beetle Bailey for raising awareness about the chronic military housing problems. I guess black mold isn’t as dramatic as floor rotting out, but does this mean Sarge’s house has no roof??
RMMD: I’m still puzzled that the café had the staff to deliver meals to guests’ rooms, but not to the dining room. I suppose they have customers other than the hotel guests? Or delivery drones. And I guess it’s a lot more work for the waitress, having to visit the tables regularly and ask “You want a refill, sugar?”
IL: Anyone remember when Josh riffed on Ziggy years back.
Josh’s comment was “Haha, it’s funny because Ziggy’s going to die of Smallpox, because he’s poor!”
That wasn’t even the intended joke of Ziggy, but the concept is still funnier than… whatever the Hell is presented in Intelligent life.
RMMD: Mae Mae Mountain Murphy has a nice ring to it.
FC: “Penthouse forum stopped publishing, dear.”
I’m gonna be honest: I may not fully get what the whole arrangement is at the Glenwood Motel. I thought Truck was there for COVID, but I guess now the whole cast other than Rex’s family and maybe Buck lives there? Like some roots country-themed version of No Exit? Where we learn that Hell is other roots country singers? Okay never mind, I think I talked myself through it and basically get the gist now.
You would think that bringing every meal to individual rooms would be more labour-intensive than having the guests eating in the same place, but maybe that’s why I don’t run a hotel! Or a legacy comics!
@Ken: At of things don’t add up. Being a waitress has the built in expectations of some addition income from tips whereas a maid usually doesn’t get as much. The hours may be a factor with some maids able to do a morning clean and then go to another job.
But then again, Rex and June’s whole office seems teetering on a set of dubious assumptions!
And today we learn why Little Miss Inner Beauty took Career Paths class: because the career test results suggest mate matches! Boy, this class must be full of socially inept, mediocre, self-deluded males who would take it for the same reason. And Les STILL succeeded where Luann failed, because Les actually tried. I couldn’t write a Luann parody better than this.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: “…Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. Press 1. for room service. Press 2. for contrived meet-cute. For all other needs, go to Mary Worth.”
@treetown: If “Monk” has taught me anything, its that maids can clean up any mess (including a murder/crime scene) at impossibly fast speeds.
The Pluggers have read Josh’s desperation at realising that Gen-X are Pluggers, so they are reassuring him that Pluggers were young in 1961, so they are Boomers. Unfortunately, by catering to the anxieties of a Gen-X like Josh, they proved that Pluggers is already looking at that generation!
The joke is that by doing a skit, the doctor is prolonging the time spent with his patient by some minutes, allowing him to extract even more money from the insurance or out of pocket
Today’s Baby Blues is about a filthy disgusting kid who is also going commando. I can’t Charles Schulz never thought to have Pigpen announce he was walking around freeballing, it would have changed everything!
Where everything is currently heading is so blatant in Rex Morgan, M.D. that they will earn my eternal respect if Mud just goes to breakfast, thinks the new waitress is nice, then goes back to his room to watch Hee Haw! reruns.
***
Reads Intelligent Life in Canada.
I don’t get it.
Intelligent Life: Is the gist I’m getting here, is his Doctor is threatening to send someone to break his kneecaps if he doesn’t pay the bill?
“Oh your kneecaps are broken? I can fix them, for an even heftier price”
Today’s Baby Blues is about a filthy disgusting kid who is also going commando. I can’t believe Charles Schulz never thought to have Pigpen announce he was walking around freeballing, it would have changed everything!
RMMD: You know the Karen’s Diner restaurant concept where the staff all neg and insult you? Well, they’re branching into hotels. “Could I order room service?” “Get it yourself, you lazy fuck!”
IL: Does this guy think the amount of money you have changes depending on the order you pay your bills? I don’t think that’s how it works unless your country is in hyperinflation, which – given that the Intelligent Life-verse seems to lack any economic activity except manufacturing Star Wars merch – may not be that unlikely actually.
H&L: Did Lois have a mastectomy? She’s missing her right boob. Kinda explains the overall recent glumness of the strip.
Intelligent Life, Panel 4
“Once again, Doctor Smith, you are cautioned about using your so-called sense of humor with patients. This is the fourth complaint the board has received in the past three months. If it were not patently obvious at this point, neither the doctor’s office or the strip in which it is featured had any room for humor.”
@Schroduck: Well, there was that one Sesame Street movie, where in one scene, Oscar the Grouch begs Maria to stop at a Grouch restaurant, where even the human workers are rude pricks. Maria orders a tossed salad, which they literally toss at her, via catapult.
Intelligent Life – Ooh – is this a “spot the mistakes strip”?
1. Doctor holding paper chart.
2. Doctor making eye contact.
3. Doctor having conversation with patient (unless he’s doing it to up-bill).
4. Male patient at a non-emergent appointment, seemingly of his own volition without a partner there to make sure he shows up and asks questions about “that thing on his neck”.
5. Doc’s “stethoscope” has no earpieces, two chest pieces.
6.Shifting wall color between panels.
7.That tie and shirt, with that skin tone? Doc, you’re probably a winter – that ensemble does nothing for you.
MW: Mary lets Toby wear her moon shoes as she takes her out for ice cream.
“Okay, if you can’t hold it till you get home, go behind the bushes.”
At one point even the most insipid comics at least had the effort of having to be drawn by someone. “Intelligent Life” appears to be created by someone who decided to plagiarize Family Guy and digitally copy-pastes it together. At least Cathy was trying to be original and despite being a terrible cartoonist she actually put in effort.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Did Les succeed though? I’m reading TaraStarr’s reaction in panel 3 as a saracastic rejoinder to yet another of Les’ smarmy come-on attempts. He ain’t getting any tonight, just like everyone else in this strip.
I have not seen the word ‘asshole’ elided quite as much as in the second panel of today’s Rex Morgan. I could do that [, asshole]. Or you could go order it yourself [, asshole,] in the cafe. The dining room’s open again [, asshole].”
@Banana Jr. 6000:
And Les STILL succeeded where Luann failed, because Les actually tried
I wouldn’t exactly say that. Looks to me like Tara is saying “Haha, you just said our psychological profiles are identical, that means that like me, you’re ATTRACTED TO MEN.” Which sounds like her
using Les’ homophobia against him andrejecting him.*************
Snuffy Smith : Loweezy doesn’t specify WHICH month in a year that is, because she’s had years were no such month happened.
*************
Crankshaft : Okay, I’m confused, am I in the wrong in getting the impression that Batiuk is trying to have his cake and eat it too by having spent a week deriding Pam for being a bridezilla for insisting on a big wedding ceremony instead of a quick, quiet administrative procedure, and then turning around and having the wedding be celebrated with all that pomp and circumstance anyway?
***********
Intelligent Life : Not-Peter Griffin is going to starve/go homeless/stiff the doctor before he gives up on spending all his money on nerd crap.
************
On the Fastrack : “I mean, I thought this was written by AI because it’s just empty brownnosing that has absolutely no pertinence on the subjects I asked you about….”
*************
Pluggers : are lucky that there wasn’t a follow-up song called “fall to the floor and convulse in pain”
even though they end up doing THAT anyway.*************
Six Chix : Friday Chix asks “If I was THAT bad an artist, would I have been able to draw every single dumb trinket in this hoard of junk?”
RMMD – The emotional rollercoaster will continue when Mud orders his “usual” and Mae Mae won’t know what he’s talking about.
@The Quiet Man: @Anonymous #64: Even if Les did strike out with Tara, he’s still waaaay ahead of Luann. She’s more the type who would be called out for sitting in the dugout when it’s her turn to bat. Or somehow losing the bat between the dugout and home plate.
But yeah, I might have missed Tara’s sarcasm. My caffeine hadn’t kicked in yet.
Pluggers twist and shout from testicular torsion much too often. Not so much funny as a PSA today.
IL: “Oh your health is fine, I’m just going to kill you now and save myself and the world a great deal of grief.”
Pluggers have been told by their doctors that a few minutes of stretching each day would greatly increase their quality of life, but they prefer to complain.
RMMD: So Mudgus and Lorna Mae are set up for their Meet Cute. Or possibly their Meet Has A Nice Personality.
C’shaft: So…you also take Max to be your lawfully wedded wife? I mean, no judgment, but maybe you shouldn’t be outing her like that in front of her family.
Dustin: Why do these two still talk to one another?
GT: Gil longs for the days when kids were ignorant and carefree.
JP: If you can say “on behalf of” but forget the much more basic “because,” you might not be getting the most out of those Duolingo lessons.
MW: Of course Mary meant well, she always has good intentions. Which just proves the old saying about Hell’s paving materials.
Curtis: Luann: “Hold my Inner Beauty!”
JP: “Bogdan. But you can call me ‘Bogdan.’”
Phantom: Tomorrow’s Adventure! ”No….it’s just not right.”
So what is the deal with the modbot that seems to be blocking even mildly risque posts? I’ve seen others reference it but Josh doesn’t appear to have updated the posting guidelines. I don’t follow the site as closely as I once did but it seems to be flagging even expressions used on network TV, let alone knees commonly used in publications like the New Yorker.
@TheDiva: Holy cow, you’re right. It should have been “Max, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” With the name dangling in the middle of the sentence like that, it looks like he’s marrying himself. Which most Funkyverse characters should probably do, because there’s nothing they love more than themselves.
JP: Somehow this strip feel like it’s a backdoor pilot for a What a Country!-style sitcom called “It’s—Bogdan!”
RMMD: If Mae Mae is the waitress and Mud Mountain is the customer, well… has Doug had the cafe’s foundation reinforced yet? Granted, it’s an obvious concern, but I can’t keep the log-in “seismic” if I don’t worry about these things.
I’ve been following Josh’s work for ages, so I’m definitely going to check out The Enthusiast. It sounds like it perfectly captures that nostalgic feeling of classic comic strips.
@Hibbleton: Mary REQUIRES Toby to wear the moon shoes. She gave them to EVERYONE at Charterstone. They’re afraid NOT to wear them.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I don’t see anything”
“Her maternal instincts are bound to lead her back here before too long”
“Do you think she’ll bring us anything to eat?”
“Sure”
“I hope you like carrion”