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Two Friday the 13th comments of the week in consecutive months? In this economy? That’s right, your top comment is here, and it’s terrifying(ly funny)!

“First I wondered why the Gearhead Gertie artists felt the need to label the Grand Canyon. Then I wondered why they felt the need to give Gertie a line of dialogue that added nothing to the observers’ commentary. Then I wondered why the two observers were saying anything either. Eventually I wondered why I was reading Gearhead Gertie in the first place, and finally why anything happens at all, and here I am, envying Gertie’s ability to just live in the moment.” –Kevin Miller

And your runners up are hilarious as always:

“Others might have quailed before the task, but Mary easily summoned the courage to broach an uncomfortable and intimate topic with her luncheon guest, simply by gripping her emotional support meddling cylinder.” –Charterstoned

“There’s something awfully sad about a penguin in a bellhop uniform. Like all penguins, he has a built-in tux, so I can only assume he got busted down to bellhop because he was a shockingly incompetent waiter.” –Peanut Gallery

“If it’s that cold, shouldn’t these birds fly south for the winter? I guess that’s harder when you’re old, obese, you have a desk cluttered with papers that need organizing, and your article on ‘The Colonel’s 11 Herbs and Spices: Revealed!’ is already a week past its deadline.” –BigTed

“Very considerate of the artist to put a photo of Archie on the wall in panel two so we know what he’s supposed to look like. He’s also in panel one, but getting bored and losing track of the cast between panels is a risk in Archie! I’m glad they can acknowledge it!” –Dan

“I like how Hi’s face looks almost panicked as he realizes that the groundhog’s prophesy has come to pass. ‘My god, he really has the gift. Let’s go to the zoo, I need to ask him how I will die.’” –pugfuggly

“Shouldn’t Mr. Andrews be more concerned that as Archie is turning in for the night, ‘#1 Mom’ is still in her housecoat, eating a piece of cheesecake with her bare hands?” –Guts Dozier

“Mary’s acquisition of a cat could not be better timed. Rarely has the feline’s gentle indifference to human emotional turmoil been more apt.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“No. Absolutely not. Dot and Ditto’s school 100% does not have a contract with actual, real-life Playbill. This is an elementary school, god damn it, the program for Twitter: The Musical! Watership Down, but Blue Nothing So Easy As A Chair consists of three black-and-white pages printed out on an ancient LaserJet and stapled hastily together by PTA parents, and the 20 that are on top of the stack are obviously coffee-stained — look, I’ve been around the school-theater block a few times, and that block does not have money or, in this case, a qualified spotlight operator.” –els

“Thelma and Louise, eat your hearts out! Oh? A buzzard already did? And there’s one circling in the sky even now?” –richardf8

“Nonono guys! ‘Red morning, lameass motel diner staff take warning!’ You guys are doomed, read a book!” –A Grave Mind

“If by ‘back up and running like it used to,’ you mean ‘no more using a baseball cap as a hair net,’ then I’m all for it.” –Weaselboy

“I’m a freak, I like doves but I’m a mammal/ I once got busy in a Rhymes With Orange panel” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“A bleak note of realism that late ’90s skaters, with their soul patches and backwards baseball caps, are still out there and now pushing 50. Look at that weathered face. That tragic grip on lost youth. That’s the lined, beaten, careworn visage of a man who has just realized that Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater came out closer to the Watergate scandal than the present day.” –Schroduck

“Did Bud Light pay to have their product featured, or did they fail to pay to have their product not featured?” –Basil Wishbone

“I’m waiting for the political ads inspired by this storyline. ‘The rich already have too much money. Now they’re stealing the jobs that you desperately need. Out of BOREDOM.’” –Victor Von

“I can’t believe I’m saying I want more Intelligent Life but I kind of want to see an extended storyline where this guy starts a GoFundMe saying ‘Hey, I’m in perfect health and my doctor’s charging me a fortune for not doing anything! Help me out!’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Let’s all hope for a ‘meet-cute’ with Mud and Mae Mae. I’m leaning towards a pot of coffee in his lap.” –Maltmash3r

“Ooh, is this a ‘spot the mistakes’ strip? 1. Doctor holding paper chart. 2. Doctor making eye contact. 3. Doctor having conversation with patient (unless he’s doing it to up-bill). 4. Male patient at a non-emergent appointment, seemingly of his own volition without a partner there to make sure he shows up and asks questions about ‘that thing on his neck.’ 5. Doc’s ‘stethoscope’ has no earpieces, two chest pieces. 6. Shifting wall color between panels. 7. That tie and shirt, with that skin tone? Doc, you’re probably a winter — that ensemble does nothing for you.” –Old School Allie Cat

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