The great outdoors
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Mary Worth, 3/28/26
OK, fine, “Trixie” successfully scammed Harvey out of a six-figure amount, which we do not condone. But, does Harvey need that money, honestly? He seems pretty well off and also likely to die soon, and it’s not like he’s that close to his daughter and only heir. Meanwhile, “Trixie” has been rewarded for the successful grift by being released from his dank, ill-lit prison to get a few precious moments outdoors! Isn’t that more important than whatever non-enslaved-person drama is going on in Charterstone?
B.C., 3/28/26
There’s probably not enough lead time for B.C. to be doing oblique commentary on current events, so I guess this is just a panel about a couple of fish who are going to murder two of this strip’s main characters, using a massive explosion. And good for them!
60 replies to “The great outdoors”
How To Tell The B.C. Characters Apart: Clumsy Carp is the one who won’t be rightfully slaughtered by superintelligent fish.
That is for the B.C. oldheads. The ones who are like “yeah! clumsy carp! I remember him!”
BC: Silly fish, explosives haven’t been invented yet! Also, underwater explosions are unhealthy for the pranking aquatic fauna. Dynamite fishing, anyone?
Mary Worth Mashup: Let’s return to Harv’s place…
Rex Morgan Mashup: Who does she remind him of?
MW: You know it’s funny: whether you’re an old person living comfortably in a condo in southern California, or a young cyberslave being held in a dark prison in an undisclosed location, we are all, in our own way, mauve.
B.C. If you’re going to take your Stone Age-themed comic strip and do a gag that implies in-depth knowledge of woodworking, metallurgy and explosives, maybe it’s time to admit that your premise is a bit too limiting.
Mary Worth: Just wait until it turns out that this scammers’ prison is located on the vast grounds of the Charterstone Condominium Complex in Santa Royale, California. Wilbur, you scoundrel!
B.C.: Wow, there was a time when cavemen and talking fish existed simultaneously? This must have been the most important point in evolutionary history! If we could only study them, we would know so much more about (BANG!!!) Oh, well.
Pluggers: It doesn’t matter what her name is, dude — look at that sky! In three minutes, you’re all going to be hit by lighting.
MW:
“Who’s reaching out to capture a foment?
Everyone knows it’s ‘Trixie.’ “
— The Association (adapted)
Scams sourced to human trafficking are typically endemic to the poorer corners of the globe, but given the architecture, the greenery, the ethnicity of unfortunate Trixie, and the limited capabilities of this storyline’s protagonists to go globe-trotting, I’m beginning to suspect that it will turn out that this hellish prison complex is located about three blocks away, on the Bad Side of Town.
Pluggers: The lady in purple is named Henrietta Beak, she is your wife, and you are talking to her. This is advanced dementia even for a plugger.
MW: “I made a TUNA CASSEROLE that I thought you might like…there’s enough here for a month’s worth of meals—if you eat it for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner!”
MW:
“Wow. Now I understand what Pink Floyd meant when they said, ‘All in all, you’re just a-nother brick in the wall’ !”
G. *(&@#$!! Thorp – Only in Milford would you see a sport where someone swings a golf club like a baseball bat.
MW:
“This is what it sounds like
When schlubs cry.”
— Prince (adapted)
“Cleetus, remember that old naval mine we swam by?” “The thing the humans couldn’t possibly have the ability to create in the time this strip is supposedly set in because they shouldn’t have the concept of a navy, let alone the ability to create explosives that can damage a boat from the bottom of a body of water?” “Eh, they have Christianity in a strip named for an acronym that literally means ‘Before Christ’, clearly this setting is really post-apocalyptic.”
This is terrifying. Intelligent fish in BC … BC is not Before Christ – it is in the future, perhaps the near future! The downfall of man is coming, and perhaps quick!
Could it be tied into Slylock Fox? Maybe the last vestiges of humanity survive in caveman-like areas near the equator, I think Fox and Mouse deal with snow from time to time?
B.C.:
“Why are our thought bubbles displaying an identical matched pair of ‘Z’s?”
“We’re fishing for ‘complements‘ !”
RMMD:
“Hmm. Maybe ‘Divine’ from Hairspray?”
For the first time, B.C. hits the right place for its setting – the Fertile Crescent, including the Straits of Hormuz – but completely misses the time. Good try!
RMMD: It’s strange to realize, although this conversation seems to be dragging on forever, in strip time the second customer hasn’t even finished his cup of coffee.
MW: I feel sorry for the people still locked inside. The only color they get to see is “Trixie”’s Manic Panic hair dye.
B.C.: In the tradition of Disney’s frequent recycling of animation sequences, this is an all-purpose gag that the syndicate provides for all its strips. Even ones whose Stone Age tools could not produce metal fishing hooks or boats made from precisely cut slats…oh, silly me, I forgot Hart subtly retconned the strip to a postapocalyptic one. Carry on…
I misread today’s Mary Worth and thought that the money that “Trixie” grifted was put to use to build a giant wall, to keep him in. Which only made it seem even more depressing.
MW: So Grunge!Tommy has just been standing outside for several weeks, then? I’m beginning to think this human-trafficking scam center is inept.
BC — There’s a maxim that fish don’t understand that water is wet, because they have never been out of it. These two, however, can identify a “naval” mine, which shows that they can conceive of other types of mines (land mines, e.g.). Clearly, this indicates they have reached a level of self-awareness and will soon be plotting the destruction of humankind in revenge for our many deprivations. We must prepare immediately!
GT I would have thought having a single coach “good” at a sport wouldn’t really be enough to instantly have a strong high school team, but I also was unaware of a golf variant with the holes floating in the sky, so who knows?
FC Is adult Jeff trying to diss his dad’s cooking through the comic? Because honestly, sure, that’s one way to cook a fried egg, there are even recipes for how to get those nice crisp edges.
MW: Mary doesn’t do anything by half-measures. If she thinks you might like a tuna casserole, she won’t bring you a little bit to try. She’ll bring the largest portion that will fit in her oven, carried in one of those huge thermal takeout delivery bags. Better eat it all before it spoils! (This is a joke, it’s actually already spoiled)
@But What Do I Know?: Maybe this connects with the post apocalyptic hints *and* the Animalpocalypse! The equatorial zone is where the remnants of weird didn’t-quite-work transformed animals fled along with most of the remaining humans. Intelligent lungfish had to traverse the land to get there (in the process learning much about the dying human society and its tech) and now live in the last seas where they won’t be harassed by Slylock Fox
MW: Trixie forlornly eyes the wall separating him from his beloved H___y.
@Schroduck: I’m surprised that Mary isn’t holding an actual casserole dish in her hands.
Harv: Slaps the dish out of her hands smashing it to the floor.
“Bad scams make you a bad person”
MW: Yes, Mary, don’t do anything at all to help, but make a damned tuna casserole for HH so you can invite yourself over and learn the latest gossip.
Luann: Called it. “Trying to get a date in the world of Luann is punishable by any form of humiliation the offended party deems appropriate. Which looks like it’s about to be three broken ribs.” Or maybe only one, since Les only fell about four feet.
Pluggers: Of course Pluggers have a hard time remembering names, because that would require them to be interested in anyone other than themselves. Names are easy to remember if you paid attention to the person when they first gave it.
Dustin: I love how Dustin, his dad, and his sister are all absolutely right, and also absolutely horrible people at the same time.
BC-That wasn’t a mine. That was an unexploded nuke from the Before Times.
RMMD-Eh. Bad waitresses all look alike.
MW-Mary made a tuna Muffin casserole.
Beetle Bailey-“Do you know something else we can make from the remains of the failed recruits and nosey government inspectors?”
MW: The cuts to “Trixie” and his horrible plight bug me, because I can only foresee two ways of them playing out: 1) he will be forgotten entirely once Widower Hart sees the error of his ways or 2) Mary will somehow single-handedly bring down the entire criminal operation. I suspect the former is more likely, as it fits with the narrow, provincial perspective of the strip and characters, but the latter would have the advantage of being laughably absurd in the midst of its stupidity.
BC: Cleetus responds by suggesting they take one of the fisherman hostage and doing a prisoner exchange.
@Banana Jr. 6000: re: Pluggers … which is why there are so many self-help tricks to teach people how to remember names?? Really?
My dad would run through all 5 of us kids’ names trying to say the right one – and added “George” in what became a family running joke
I can work with people for literally years, be able to slot in what they do, how my work interacts with theirs, and remember some stuff about their non-work life … and still be sneakily looking for a hint of their name to not call them the wrong thing. I’ve now worked with the same people for about a decade and have their names fully set, so that’s a relief.
Some people’s memory is just different from yours.
@TheDiva: Or they’ll pull a Greta and have his enforcers leave the front door open, and he literally walks out and tells the authorities or something stupid like that.
C’shaft: I don’t know what he means, and frankly I’m not interested enough in this strip or trending television shows to care.
Dustin: Based on the evidence, I think Dustdad’s advice would amount more to “find a woman who has been socially conditioned to believe marriage is an essential component to her happiness and that it’s her responsibility to take on all the domestic and mental labor of the household, and occasionally compliment her so she ignores the background radiation of your obvious indifference and contempt.”
GT: Has any high school athletics department ever been concerned about having “a strong golf program”?
JP: “And I’m NOT letting him have the guest bedroom!”
MT: “Ha-ha, they’ve just been severely injured on a desert road with little traffic and spotty satellite reception.”
RMMD: “I’m sure the way she and the big guy keep loudly mentioning ‘Lorna Starr’ is a coincidence…”
SH: I mean, I would have said “because it’s a fast-paced, dynamic game which has the potential to be undecided until the final seconds,” but you know, you do you.
Cletus, the slack jawed flounder? Wonder if he ever got a response from Bullwinkle.
BC- implements of war? I guess this puts to bed where the Neanderthals went.
MW-Trixie is scamming someone else and H-rvey is upset about. “I thought Trixie loved me. I thought she was a one scam person.”
Honestly, if Mary Worth reduced its core functions to “shots of Mary chortling with manic and/or sociopathic glee while a resident of Charterstone and/or Dr. Jeff suffered,” I would become a #1 ultrafan. Except for the schmaltzy quotes, those would still suck.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: That’s because you haven’t gone golfing with me.
@Morgan Wick: What sorcery is this “Advanced Archive,” and how do I access it for definitely-not-black-magic purposes?
CS – I would love to see the final panel without smirks, showing how Crankshaft has turned Jeff and Pam’s marriage into a hellpit of dysfunction, where even the most innocuous comment can trigger a moment of seething tension between the two.
B.C.: Chekov: If a gun is displayed on the mantle in Act One, it must go off in Act Three. American Comic Strips: If a naval mine is mentioned in Panel One, it must never be shown in Panel Three, or mentioned again, in fact, do we really need a Panel Three?
GT: “Jim Nantz here. Great golf story in Milford today as former pro Emily Clover–you knew her as Mimi Thorp–hit a hole in one today using an outdoor barbecue spit. When asked why she used the spit, Clover said, ‘Ever try to roast a whole hog on a golf iron?’ She’s become a champion eater too.”
The existence of naval mines implies that B.C. takes place far more recently than one would think and the characters living in caves and wearing simple furs is simply a choice they made, until you remember that the ants have modern furniture and electronics. This naval mine is likely a byproduct of ant warfare and being insect-sized, at best would cause a small hole in the boat, making this an amusing prank instead of brutal explosive murder.
***
Please, for the love of the gods, never show us Mary’s face straight on and from that distance again. Some of us need to sleep again this lifetime.
The past week’s worth of Crankshaft strips aren’t funny: they’re the story of a man sliding into dementia and his worried friends and caregivers.
So, is Mary like the late Steve Jobs and her closet is filled with umpteen copies of the same outfit?
MW – “Mary, come in. Something’s happ…wait, did you say tuna casserole? I was hoping for salmon squares. Oh well…wait, what was I going to tell you. It seems like it was important. I’ll grab some plates and silverware while I try to remember.”
@CanuckDownSouth: Well, it’s the first thing people should try. Not listening, and not paying attention to others, is a huge societal problem right now. I think anyone struggling to remember names should approach the problem from that angle first. I know that things like anomic aphasia exist, but I think that’s a minor factor.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: I once did a fungo with a baseball bat and a golf ball, sending it over some buildings for a block or two. I still don’t know if it killed someone.
9 Snatchwood Lane – Brooke has discovered dry humping. Gotta love it.
@TheDiva: You know, Mary and the Phantom do wear the same purple. Have we ever seen them in a room together? Could Mary be the Ghost Who Meddles?
Mary Worth : is probably not going to react or adjust her priors after she learns that the sum of money Cravatman has given to Trixie is in the 6 figures*, further highlighting she just sees this as an “endearingly quirky misadventure” rather than a serious problem.
*I’m under the impression Mary was thinking that it was in the upper 5 figures, MAXIMUM, over several payments, and not just 6 figures in one go, and thus SHOULD be shocked (but won’t).
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Moose & Molly : …now there’s a first, a comic strip character apologising for how repetitive his act can get!
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Pluggers : I like how Henrietta is wearing purple, so it looks like the Plugger is asking Henrietta to remind him who Henrietta is.
@TheDiva: Has any high school athletics department ever been concerned about having “a strong golf program”?
I went to high school in an affluent suburb in greater Miami. There were over 100 golf courses within a 30-minute drive, perfect weather year-round, pro golfers who lived nearby, and a ton of golf culture. So believe me when I say the answer to your question is “absolutely not.”
There are probably some uber-wealthy prep schools that get into golf, but those are the same ones who have six-figure equestrian programs. A garden-variety public high school like Milford wouldn’t even have a team.
@TheDiva: On CS – Batty’s making a funny referring to ‘Peaky Blinders’, a NetFlix(?) show about criminal gangs set in London at the turn of the 20th Century. Never seen it myself, but I understand it’s chockful of bloody violence. The Crankshafts must think it’s a twee, whimsical English musical a la Gilbert & Sullivan, because otherwise they’d be turning on MeTV for the umpteenth rerun of ‘Mama’s Family’ or ‘Match Game ’73’
By the way, I can’t tell whether Flannel Shirt Dog Plugger is asking his wife who an unseen lady in purple is, or if he’s asking the reader who the onscreen chicken-lady in purple is. (I know the characters in Pluggers have names, but I intentionally refuse to learn them.)
BC- Wondering how the 2 in the boat sleeping adds to the joke.
BC: Why do cavemen live in a world with unexploded naval mines? Was this a post-apocalyptic strip all along? What is happening?
I liked it better when the characters just yelled “CLAMS GOT LEGS!” and that was the joke. It was nonsense, but small parts of the nonsense made sense.
B.C.: I know B.C. barely even tries to follow it’s whole “prehistoric times” setting, but c’mon, man. A naval mine? In the Ice Age? Who were these cavemen having WWII-esque oceanic war with, neanderthals in submarines?