Phone stuff
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/26
As predicted by literally everybody, sad-sack failed salesman Lonnie has figured out that Mae Mae is Lorna and is going to cash in by selling this info to the Morganverse TMZ analogue. The most surprising thing is that the Morganverse TMZ analogue has a publicly available phone number and someone who works there will answer it more or less immediately when you call.
Shoe, 4/26/26
“Who was that? Another telemarketer?” is … kind of a weird set up for this joke? I guess it’s because Shoe didn’t actually talk to his ex, but just stared at his phone dead-eyed as it rang, didn’t answer it, and then silently read the transcript of the extremely sarcastic message she left on his voicemail. And what, did a person make a phone call? In this day and age? And wanted to talk to Shoe? It doesn’t add up.
52 replies to “Phone stuff”
Mary Worth Mashup: How it should have gone down.
Shoe-Telemarketer is code for debt collector.
FC-“Then we learned about a guy named Sanchez who needs to take a bath.”
MW-And so the scam portion of the story has been swept under the rug.
MW-A few weeks later after visiting Jeff at the Big House.
Lonnie is so into his phone call that he doesn’t notice the wandering soul of Louis Gossett Jr., STILL trying to drink away the memory of that first Punisher movie.
Don’t worry Shoe, the “happy sun” color should be coming up the horizon eventually! Only, like, 3-4 more colors to go!
Shoe: Not writing “she found a bunch of my old stuff in her box” is what separates the great writers from the ordinary.
RMMD — Ah, yes, Glenwood’s “Old Town.” A couple blocks of boarded-up shops interspersed with a few dank watering holes where down-and-out traveling salesmen can run their scammy side gigs without being bothered by the near-catatonic denizens. Do they sell postcards?
That’s where Shoe’s clothes are!
RMMD:
“Allo, Passy Vingt-Deux Quinze?”
“This is no time for ALM French, Mister! — do you have a scoop for us?”
MW: Of course, H—v-y literally can’t leave until he displays the required adulation.
RMMD: Unbeknownst to Lonnie, he’s talking to the unfortunate soul assigned to field the Elvis and Bat Boy calls.
MW: Mary moves on to her next story: consoling John “Trixie” Long who has returned to a less trans friendly America.
RMMD: Wait, that’s Aldo Kelrast, isn’t it? Guess his eyes have started to fail in the intervening years.
@Baja Gaijin:
That would have made this excuse for a story worthwhile.
Thanks for posting where I can see it, Baka.
RMMD — Hey boss, I got some guy who claims he knows what Lorna Starr’s up to these days. Sure, I told him we’d pay him four figures for a video. No, I don’t think he understands how decimal points work. It could be the best $10.00 we ever spent!
Is Judge Parker using a guest artist? The panels seem different somehow, not as carefully drawn. Or maybe this tie-him-up-and-question-him scenario has the artist… distracted.
Wary Morth:
Why do I have a feeling that Moy initially planned a bigger role for Trixie, following him on his Great Escape, but then realised that would make the story interesting, and so threw that out of the window?
Anyway, a tip for Trixie: next time, make sure you get your agent to guarantee you a bigger part in any story you feature in! Meanwhile, when you start your own scamming business, there’s a meddling hag just waiting to be scammed by you. She runs a column called Ask Wendy so you have an easy way to get to her.
“That much, huh?”
Moustachero must be *really* hard up if he gets that excited about being paid the cost of a bottle of beer.
MW: Well that was abrupt, especially after with the recent arcs inspired by Jules Verne’s
FiveFifteen Weeks in a Ballon and Wilbur’s version of Nine(teen) and a Half Weeks.This website takes the proper tone towards today’s Mary Worth Brainyquote.
RMMD:
“Also, to my immediate left, there’s a guy who looks a tiny bit like former TV show host Montel Williams — but it isn’t he, so you’re probably not interested in that.”
RMMD:
“Also, a bit off-topic, but my mustache and the back of my hair have been receding in length in between the time that I had my doomed sales meeting and now.”
MW: dont worry, Mary
He’ll be back
Like before
His feet will come back
Through the door
Guests get old
Bring their own ways
Contradict their hosts
Talk of old days
But if guests
Spend cash on treats
For the kids
Life will be sweet
Pay the light bill
Spend the day away
Give hosts their own time
Months you can stay.
Before you have to come back
To be meddled again
Finding “love” in a scam
Trapped in your own pen
Get a dog!
Hagar the Horrible:
“Be careful, Eddie! — none other than Ivan Lendl is approaching us in an armored suit!”
“No. Don’t say it, Hagar.”
“Yep. Czech‘s in the mail!”
H&L Maybe she wants to feel needed, maybe Chip’s text was really polite, but making a freakin’ PB&J for a healthy teen who is fully capable of getting out of their room and taking care of it himself is not setting him up for success in adulthood.
DT World building question – in a society where superpowered Moon people are known, is the Moon Maid issue in the comic store a fanzine? a fictional story? an account of her known exploits?
Also, given that Mumbling English is apparently a fully-developed dialect, does Mumbles have a case that they’ve been violating his rights by holding his trials without an interpreter?
RMMD: I know this is being set up as a big tabloid take-down of a fallen star(r), but this being the Morganverse I’m not yet convinced that Hollywood Update Live is not try to track down Lorna to update their Christmas card address spreadsheet.
Shoe: I like how the changing hues of the sky seem to suggest that this story has been going on from dawn ’til dusk. I can’t tell if the interpanel dialogues were just too profanity-filled to print in the newspaper, or if Shoe just nodded off for a few hours at a time between each sentence.
@Baja Gaijin:
#1. MW: Mary finally hears what she needs, not what she wants. Thanks!
Shoe runs a newspaper. In theory, this means he talks to lots of people. It’s how newspapers get news, subscribers, advertisers – newspaper stuff.
In 50 years, we’ve never seen him doing any of that. All those other newspapers failing left and right? You’re doing it wrong. The Treetops Tattler is doing fine.
RMMD:
CLICK
“Now to interact with this fellow at the bar to my left. Sir! — do you mind if I join you in having a yeasty, bottom-fermented foamy beer?”
“Why would I want to do that, pal?”
“Well, that way, you and I could be at lager heads!”
RMMD:
“I like this restaurant.” (Mae Mae, today)
“The Motel Cafe, and Nick’s Diner, are more my speed.” (Fergus, Wednesday)
At first I thought this would be a bone of contention. However, I then tried to guess how many Michelin stars all of Glenwood County has en toto. It’s my own fault thinking this place is that much better than the greasy spoon and the ptomaine palace.
Gasoline Alley: Given what we’ve seen of Slim I figure Clovia’s familiar with the phrase “It’s less work if I do it myself.”
FC:
“An’ Stonewall is a place in New York where they invented roasted garlic peanut sauce in 1969!”
“Thel, is it time to pull the kids out of parochial school?”
BG&SS: Unlike the Sheriff, Elmer Fudd at least knew to brandish his gun. Hint, hint.
SlFox: Adding “Geordie Dog” to the list of always-guilty characters? Tynesiders are going to love this comic for that. A focus group would have been helpful.
RMMD: I’m just glad Aldo is still alive, and though he’s going by an assumed name, he didn’t let his DUI cliff plunge dissuade him from his favourite hobby, stalking.
Phantom:
“Kit Walker, what’s the waxy yellow buildup I see on your night clothes in today’s second panel?”*
*In the Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman tongue.
Shoe: Aren’t you two supposed to be inside the tree trunk?
MW: Mary and H___y enjoy a round of Indian wrestling before he leaves for good.
@But What Do I Know?: Those denizens love their dank pits. The dank, BWDIK, the dank!!
RMMD: I’m not sure if it’s more depressing that Maena thinks there’s actually something interesting to see in Glenwood, or that Mudgus has been visiting for years and only just now got around to trying out the town’s third restaurant.
FC: “The Aristocratics” gag does have a long setup.
That’s fantastic news about Josh’s novel. I’ve been a fan of his work for ages and I’m really looking forward to reading it – especially the part about Rex Morgan.
RMMD: ‘By the way, how’s Robert Stack doing? If I get you the goods on Lorna, do I get to meet him?’
JP: Please hit Neddy with the wrench, please hit Neddy with the wrench… and have it make the ‘klonk’ sound effect like in a Three Stooges short.
MW: Okay, so ‘Trixie’ is going to show up just as the moving van pulls away from the curb, and Mary says ‘gee, we just had a unit open up, why don’t you come in and tell me alllll about yourself….’
REX MORGAN M.D.: Yeah, if this is any indication, then no, Lorna/Mae Mae, you wouldn’t have worked better in romantic comedies.
Monty-Python-restaurant-levels of Spam at #36@ComicFan22
Got so excited at today’s post thinking a certain Mary Worth character had come back from firey vehicular death, only to be bamboozled by Rex Morgan. Cruel fate, why do you mock me with the face of Aldo Kelrast?
JP: Don’t take that wrench, Neddy! In prison, such a gift counts as an engagement present.
RMMD – This strip desperately needs a thought bubble for the poor guy next to Lonnie who’s just trying to drink his beer in peace. “Goddamn crazy people everywhere with their crazy monologues… I’d bet anything that phone’s not even turned on.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Abundio! You should enter the club’s big baseball contest!”
“Okay!”
“I’ll show you what you have to do!”
“In there?”
“You just have to play against these guys!”
C’shaft: “Touche”? That is not a statement to which you say “touche”! “Touche” is shorthand for “point taken” or “I deserved that,” not “Oh, ha-ha, I caught your very weak attempt at wordplay there.”
DT: How does one become fluent in Mumbling? Pretty sure that’s not a Duolingo offering.
JP: Yeah, if there’s one story Hollywood has never heard before it’s that of a rogue vigilante with questionable ethics.
Luann: (heavy sigh) “Still life” refers to the genre of painting (ie. one consisting of an arrangement of inanimate objects), not whether or not the subject matter is living, dead, or otherwise. Thus, the title is properly understood as “this is a still life painting which includes a pear.” I would think even a community college art class would be able to teach you that much, Nil.
MW: Oh please, like the first Mary heard of Widower Hart moving is walking in on him as he’s finishing his packing. She probably snuck into the Charterstone manager’s office and got all the details the day after he broke his lease. She’s just making sure he doesn’t get away without giving her the proper adulation.
@The Quiet Man:
They got rid of all the fire extinguishers. Too many bad memories.
I truly cannot wrap my head around this Shoe strip. What’s the gag here? Was his ex-wife actually looking for depositable alimony checks in her attic? Did she call to press him for said checks and decided to lead with a sweaty, nonsensical “joke” about it, that Shoe subsequently recited verbatim to Roz? Did she actually call because something she found in storage reminded her of the faded love the two birds once had and wanted to share that memory, perhaps over lunch sometime, but dead-inside Shoe stopped listening after the first sentence, assuming the worst?
None of these scenarios would be funny, mind you, but you can usually see how the punchline is reverse-engineered into something that resembles a joke if not work as one. This feels like two unrelated panels slapped together because they were similarly composed. I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up about this, but I am. It sucks!
I was really excited by today’s RMMD, because I thought they were at the part where Jim Gordon finds out that the Joker has escaped from Arkham Asylum in a blimp full of poison gas. Then I read what was actually going on. Sigh.
Moy heard us, y’all. We didn’t appreciate her ludicrous balloon crashes, third-rate Fatal Attraction knockoff, bird lunacy, or face-palm-inducing telepathic dogs. Now we got a storyline with enough unlikely dialogue, moronic behavior, and baffling hanging plot threads to put Rex Morgan to shame. We did this.
@44 TheDiva: on Luann: Nil’s been losing IQ points since he started hanging around Luann. I know Bernice is/was his muse. Luann’s such a black hole of stupidity she sucks intelligence out of anyone within 3 degrees of herself.
Newspaper comics, and soap opera strips in particular, seem to operate on dream logic. I don’t need to understand why anyone does anything, I just accept that they did it and move on. That makes humanizing Rex Morgan‘s Lonnie by showing him in dire financial straits pretty remarkable. I don’t think I’d ever turn papparazzi, but it’s not like he wants to ruin anybody’s life.
Cut out the earlier scenes where Lonnie is slowly turning into Willy Loman, and you’ve got a greedy monster. As it is, I feel sorry for him. Mud is going to write a song about him called “I Made That Guy Eat His Cell Phone,” and after he gets out of the hospital, Hollywood Update Live is gonna stiff him.
Shoe: “Another telemarketer?” might be a reasonable assumption to make after Shoe spent the whole call, from his wife desperately seeking financial compensation from him, going “Sorry, not interested. No. Not interested. Goodbye—no, I don’t want—no! Not interested! Goodb—no!”
RMMD – “Yeah — I could get pictures. Video even.” “OK, Snagglepuss.”