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Here it is! Real quick! Your top comment! Of this whole dang week!

“I love how Tommy greets everything in life like a fresh-born baby. He got off drugs when a pharmacist told him that there were treatments for addiction, and he reacted like it was the first he ever heard of such a thing. Now he’s looking at the photos in a barber shop and thinking, ‘Wait, so hair … can be cut, and even styled? Wow, that actually explains so much.’” –Dan

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I am so angry at Judge Parker (both the strip and the character) for making me sympathize with Judge Parker for making a sandwich. It’s literally the most relatable thing he’s ever done.” –Drew, on BlueSky

“For a comic that’s mostly just people yapping at each other, the characters of Judge Parker don’t seem to communicate that well.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Judging by the way those animals are leering at each other, they’re not about to allow the Keane’s puritanically revisionist ‘one of every animal’ policy stop their forty days and forty nights of fornication.” –Guts Dozier

“I can’t believe that Luann is into retro 80s pop culture, because that would be a personality trait and she has proven herself to be completely unburdened of those.” –TheDiva

“Bernice, you’ve been living with Luann’s family for six years now. Your goal all along has obviously been to replace your ‘friend’ and be the responsible, sensible daughter that Nancy and Frank have never had. So let Luann move in with her gentleman friend. THIS IS GOOD NEWS FOR YOU!” –Joe Blevins

“A lot of great facial expressions on display in today’s panel. We have a content kitten, the world’s smuggest giraffe, a horse who is clearly up to no good, an elephant worried by the things he can never forget, and a confused but enthusiastic frog. (Obviously the implication is that these are all toys, but I prefer to imagine that these are real creatures the Keane children recruited from some psychedelic, half-imagined hell-world.) Even Mama Keane is getting in on the facial expression action, with a sly grin that is an entirely inappropriate reactions to these two’s sub-antics. I suspect she’s just pleased that they are surprisingly open to the idea of being set adrift on the open ocean, which will make things easier when she sets into motion her plan to rid the house of its redheaded population once and for all.” –Vulpes

“I don’t know. I just feel like, if I was presented a deep fried, seasoned, battered slice of human flesh on a bun, I couldn’t tell you with any certainty if I had known the guy. Clearly Mr. Merking is running a scam to get his sandwich on the house.” –Vanya

“I love the teacher’s horrified expression in the last panel. ‘My God, this child has realized the pointlessness of what we’re doing here! This changes everyth– oh, wait, the teacher’s union runs this state. Sit down and shut up, kid.’” –A Grave Mind

“Momma said I should be more worried about sun poisoning.” –Lauralot

“God, these interviews are tedious. Stupid ugly high school athletes. How many more of these are there? Does that line ever end? How long have I been here? Feels like eternity. Are these kids getting weirder looking? How come the clouds aren’t moving? Oh. Oh, god. We didn’t survive that car crash, and I’m in my ironic hell.” –Voshkod

“Iconic body language from Marvin’s grandpa, here! He may be sitting on a park bench in the sunshine with his grandson, but by jing, he’s pissed about it!” –Victor Von

“I’ve always put my grandpa on a pedestal. But he keeps climbing back down. All his complaints about having arthritis are baloney!” –Peanut Gallery

“Little does Rusty know that saying an exclamation mark out loud is considered an act of aggression by raccoons. They usually respond by ripping their adversary’s face off while saying a grawlix.” –Weaselboy

“That’s actually a chicken-proof cap — the FDA wanted to be sure there were no more opioids in the egg supply. (Why do you think people were willing to pay $8 per dozen?)” –BigTed

“Tommy is walking aimlessly down a street, staring blankly, and becomes fascinated by the front of a barbershop. Pretty sure the ‘whether to do drugs’ decision was made at least fifteen minutes ago.” –Where’s Rocky?

“That’s a cool looking front … I’m positive the gangsters who run this ‘barber shop’ are looking for drug runners.” –2+2=7

“I am a bit surprised that Mary Worth will be the first legacy comic to address looksmaxxing.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

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