Metapost: Your comments, the comments you love and crave
Post Content
It’s here! The comment of the week! Enjoy it!
“Garfield, you fool! Never accept food or drink from the Fair Folk! Now you must spend 1,000 Mondays beneath the brugh, dancing the accursed reels of the Unseelie! There will not be any lasagna!” –Navigator
And your runners up! Very funny!
“The strip has drifted so far from its original intended audience that now we celebrate woke pluggers who refuse to use toxic herbicides.” –Hibbleton
“Is there a word for the disorientation one feels when looking at crudely drawn people about to tuck into photorealistic food? I’m thinking something from German.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“[Deep breath] According to Catholic theologian and philosopher John F. Haught, mystery emerges from the profound experience of simultaneously butting up against unanswerable ‘limit questions’ arising from such fields as science, ethics, criticism, politics, and logic and experiencing some deep, inexhaustible ineffable power promising us a hope-filled future. [Exhale] In Rex Morgan, M.D., mystery arises from the big GO AWAY I’M RETIRED sign on a Hollywood star’s mansion. God lives in the future, the star serves coffee. It’s really the same, if you stop to think about it.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Is it just me, or is the second panel of RMMD just the first panel but zoomed in? Did all the effort go into drawing the camera? Come on, man, have some dignity.” –Austria
“I am the 1970s Excitement Fairy! I hope you like disco and cocaine!” –Voshkod
“Biz is just trying desperately to get comfortable, since he somehow put on shorts without a tail hole.” –MKay
“Good news: the writer of Shoe remembered that his characters are birds and have feathers. Bad news: it’s over — and I mean, really, really over — for twerking. There’s no coming back from this.” –Joe Blevins
“Mr. President, two of the unaccounted-for clones have survived, and made contact with the Original Luann! I’m not sure we can keep a lid on ‘Operation Why God?’ for much longer!” –A Grave Mind
“Actually, his father invented something much more important than uniforms to the Funkyverse: the last panel pun that’s not really a pun but just the same word with the same meaning.” –Schroduck
“No, Tommy, don’t say you can’t swim just before an outing to Chekhov Beach…” –But What Do I Know?
“Finally we learn the story behind Harry’s pathological obsession with selling candy to pay for high school band uniforms: in order to live up to his father’s legacy, he bought the entire class tailor-made uniforms every year. Bespoke clothing doesn’t come cheap, so if all of Westview had to get type 2 diabetes to soothe his daddy issues, well, that was a price he was willing to pay.” –Vulpes
“OMG cartoonists, those shirts are fantastic, please do this in every comic to label every character! Even the major ones! I’d love to never have to remember the name of Dustin’s dad!” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Blondie’s face has the exact same expression in all three panels, and I think it’s great!
Panel 1: Her smile conveys polite, professional interest.
Panel 2: That same smile is friendly and inquisitive. She feels closer to her clients than before!
Panel 3: Blondie’s smile is now frozen on her face in horror! These alleged surfers don’t have money! It’s the worst thing that could happen to her.” –Victor Von“Are you marketing executives? Because you just invented some names for products related to a specific theme, but you have given no practical information on how these products should be made.” –Ettorre
“Maybe Blondie started her catering business because she thinks of herself as a high-end chef who likes to experiment with interesting and potentially dangerous flavor combinations, like those wasabi waffles. Meanwhile, Dagwood’s tastes are far more pedestrian. He prefers foods like ham, pot roast, pizza, diner chili, midnight leftovers, and of course, sandwiches of size. Meanwhile, his favorite seasonings are salt, more salt, ‘pass the salt, please,’ and, for a thrill, three slices of pepper jack.” –BigTed
“I live in Kansas City. The music scene here would eat Loon alive, with really good barbecue sauce.” –Basil Wishbone
“Notice how the gorilla in the background is holding its hand to its head as psychics are often depicted in comics. Clearly the implication is that the gorillas in this sanctuary are all actually telepathically threatening and controlling the owners of the place to carry out their schemes. The son desperately wants to warn Mark, but one of the Silverbacks make sure he can be seen and thus the consequences of challenging the new world order known.” –ectojazzmage
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27 replies to “Metapost: Your comments, the comments you love and crave”
Congrats, COTW-ers!
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja!
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 1
BigTed
June 13th, 2026 at 4:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I used to think I’d never get this life thing right. When I was a kid, I had a hard time… I was bullied a lot.” “That’s rough. Have you tried drugs?”
Bob Tice
June 13th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I was bullied a lot. They made fun of my hair.”
“Go figure.”
TheDiva
June 13th, 2026 at 6:24 am Reply
Judge Parker: “I’ll never forget you, Renee!”
“Reena!”
“Whatever…”
Victor Von
June 13th, 2026 at 6:52 am Reply
Mary Worth: What’s Tommy looking at? In both panels, he’s looking directly behind Dawn, not at Dawn. Either he’s misinterpreted the concept of eye contact, or there’s a big bug on the back of her head.
Fingers crossed that Tommy’s been talking to the bug the whole time!
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
June 13th, 2026 at 7:53 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Don’t just try. Promise me next time you walk down the block, you’ll wear pants. We’re never really alone.”
Horace Broon
June 13th, 2026 at 9:53 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “I guess my life hasn’t been ordinary either — you may have got a cartoon series, turned the Mirakle Method into something that’s probably not a scam any more, and be dating a waitress who’s actually a movie star, but I got very sick one time, wrote a song about a motel, and I’m dating a waitress who’s actually a waitress!”
BigTed
June 14th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
Hägar the Horrible: I enjoy the fact that when Hägar snores, he makes nonsense sounds running the gamut from a Polish word made famous by Mad magazine (“potrzebie”) to the famously edible creatures from Li’l Abner (“Shmoo”) to, for some reason, the Convention on the International Regulations for Preventing Collisions at Sea (“COLREGS”). He might be dreaming about slaughtering the innocent so his family can have a free supper, but he sure sounds funny while he’s doing it!
Ettorre
June 14th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
Pluggers: I think everyone is grateful that Pluggers are bad at spreading their seed.
But What Do I Know?
June 14th, 2026 at 6:03 am Reply
Hägar the Horrible: An empty stomach has no conscience, but apparently it knows quite a few languages…
TheDiva
June 14th, 2026 at 7:57 am Reply
Hägar the Horrible: That’s a pretty loquacious stomach, which explains the horrified expressions on Hägar’s family. His appetite has gained sentience, and will soon enslave them all. It happened in Blondie, and it’s happening to them.
Joe Blevins
June 14th, 2026 at 8:40 am Reply
Pluggers: “You’re a plugger if you sometimes just stand in mute horror, a (heavy) bag of grass seed perched on your (dislocated) shoulder, wondering why you ever bother doing anything since all your efforts are doomed to abject failure by a cruel God who created you just to mock you for His own amusement.”
Little Blue Bicycle
June 14th, 2026 at 9:14 am Reply
Mary Worth: Dawn and Tommy are really mastering kindergarten skills. Making friends today, numbers next week, the alphabet by Christmas.
The Man With The Plan
June 14th, 2026 at 9:30 am Reply
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if even Mother Nature has it out for you.
Horace Broon
June 14th, 2026 at 12:12 pm Reply
Hägar the Horrible: All those references to other strips in the baffling throwaway panels, and no “QLUNQ!”? I’m disappointed.
Admittedly, it’s not a sound I can imagine a stomach making, but neither’s the “ZOT!” of an anteater’s tongue.
Gil Bates
June 15th, 2026 at 4:35 am Reply
Garfield: Why is the Excitement Fairy wearing knee pads… ooooooohhhh.
Ettorre
June 15th, 2026 at 5:09 am Reply
Garfield: Will the Excitement Fairy provide antidepressants if coffee doesn’t do the trick? Or cocaine?
Ukulele Ike
June 15th, 2026 at 5:38 am Reply
Phantom: I understand that there is a terrific rivalry between the Gravelines and Boomsby Prison shuffleboard teams.
2+2=7
June 15th, 2026 at 6:17 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “I was famous. I’m just a regular person now who does regular person things like sign autographs and pose for pics for strangers and live out of motels that I then have the money to buy outright. I quit because I hate the attention, which I had no problem leveraging to ‘save’ my friends motel and to get people to swoon all over me at the expense of jobs efficiency. Besides I work at the cafe now, because normal people work tiring, menial, low-wage jobs even if they have the means to make their dreams come true and do anything else. Good thing you guys are just as lazy as I am and didn’t come by for the big rush at breakfast, eh? Boy that would have been some interesting b-roll, eh, as people wait out the door for hours of this small, one-star cafe attached to a dumpy motel in the middle of nowhere just to have ‘non-famous-person’, me, serve them runny eggs and cold stale biscuits as is totally normal and typical. Anyway time to return to the motel room I live out off and might possibly own, because that’s just what ordinary folks with no extenuating circumstances do!”
Vulpes
June 15th, 2026 at 6:24 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Look, I don’t want to get anyone too unnecessarily excited here, but take a look at the cameraman in panel one. Could that be beloved Rex Morgan nemesis Rene Belluso? If it is, is he finally on the straight and narrow working in local news? Will covering this incident make him relapse as his scammer’s instincts play the angles of a wealthy actress who’s wasteful enough with her money to invest in a failing motel?
Voshkod
June 15th, 2026 at 6:43 am Reply
Garfield: “I am the 1970s Excitement Fairy! I hope you like disco and cocaine!”
The Rambling Otter
June 15th, 2026 at 6:50 am Reply
Garfield: I’m grateful this is the one Garfield-Monday where the “SPLUT!” sound effect isn’t used.
Ukranazi Stepan
June 15th, 2026 at 6:54 am Reply
Flylock Socks: The answer is that Kackles is obviously a jackal or a coyote, not any of the four species of hyena, and *especially* not the spotted hyena, the only one that “laughs”, so he’s an imposter and Slylock has legal grounds to lock him away.
richardf8
June 15th, 2026 at 8:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: Congratulations Tommy! You got straight to fifth base with Dawn, i.e Friend Zoned without first doing anything that will get you on antibiotics!
Joe Blevins
June 15th, 2026 at 8:45 am Reply
Garfield: “I am the Excitement Fairy! The brain trust at Paws, Inc. decided this strip needed its own Garbage Ape, so they invented me! I have no idea what they have planned for me, though it worries me somewhat that they’ve given me kneepads. WHY DO I NEED KNEEPADS?”
Anonymous
June 16th, 2026 at 4:42 am Reply
Luann : …yeah, this is Camp Skye’s equivalent of the diabetic cabin, where the counselors also share the campers’ handicap, but for Luann’s “inner beauty” or “special needs” or whatever euphemism we’re using this week.
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 2
The Rambling Otter
June 16th, 2026 at 7:43 am Reply
Gil Thorp: “Make room for Jesus!”
When you’re eating, you’re eating with Jesus.
When you’re walking, you’re walking alongside Jesus.
When you’re having sex with your loved one, you’re also having sex with Jesus.
Wait, what?
Banana Jr. 6000
June 16th, 2026 at 7:43 am Reply
“Homoerotic senior avian rituals” and “Elastic waterproof panty covers for bed wetting” are two phrases I did not expect to encounter today.
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
June 16th, 2026 at 7:44 am Reply
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – I suppose someone back at the station is going to have to edit out the “Shut the fuck up, Doug!” from the footage.
ectojazzmage
June 16th, 2026 at 7:48 am Reply
Bizarro: *the lion is handed an envelope with an antelope sticker on it* Hahaha, bet you guys thought I was gonna kill a real antelope or something for this bit! C’mon, man! We’re civilized here. Oh, by the way, once my speech is over they’ll be bringing the zebras in for dinner. Dibs on the foals.
Joe Blevins
June 16th, 2026 at 7:49 am Reply
Gil Thorp: So imagine if this were the first Gil Thorp you’d ever seen and you were trying to figure out what this strip is about. My guess, based solely on this episode: a ventriloquist and his dummy who chaperone ghost proms.
A Grave Mind
June 17th, 2026 at 4:31 am Reply
Luann: “Mr. President, two of the unaccounted-for clones have survived, and made contact with the Original Luann! I’m not sure we can keep a lid on ‘Operation Why God?’ for much longer!”
Gil Bates
June 17th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
Mary Worth: Meanwhile in NYC, Olive’s tummy brain floats a premonition in the air: save Tommy from drowning! She desperately telepathically contacts her marine mammal pals to be vigilant on breakers patrol!
Charterstone: Dune
June 17th, 2026 at 5:05 am Reply
Pluggers have blotted out the memory of that hobo they killed for the fun of it and hid in a storage locker three towns over.
ValdVin
June 17th, 2026 at 6:39 am Reply
Pluggers often forget to undo the consensual handcuffs, or that they even have them. You let them be the dom at your own risk.
TheDiva
June 17th, 2026 at 7:17 am Reply
Dustin: Dustdad makes Lionel Hutz look like Clarence Darrow.
A Grave Mind
June 18th, 2026 at 4:31 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “Seriously, we’re standing in a restaurant right now. Do you know how sad Doug’s Sad Face is gonna be after this? Pretty goddamn sad!”
Dennis Jimenez
June 18th, 2026 at 4:39 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Has-Been lives in Shitty Little Town – film at eleven…
MKay
June 18th, 2026 at 4:56 am Reply
Mary Worth: I don’t recall much about Brandy’s personality, but imagine the horror of coming back and finding that you’ve been replaced by Dawn Weston.
Rosstifer
June 18th, 2026 at 6:25 am Reply
Blondie: You can tell that these surfers are men because of their bulbous noses and horrible neck folds.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 17th, 2026 at 2:33 pm Reply
Mary Worth: The good news: Tommy doesn’t smell like Charterstone.
The bad news: He does sort of smell like cat pee.
The Mighty Finn
June 18th, 2026 at 6:37 am Reply
Rex Morgan: I sincerely hope that reporter goes back to the newsroom with her lame Lorna/Mae-Mae story and the editor tells her it’s already been cut for time.
treetown
June 18th, 2026 at 7:31 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Later back in the editing booth. They’ll include the recommendation from Mae Mae to go elsewhere spinning the story with headline “Lorna Starr now working at a diner where she can’t recommend.”
Phantom: Nomad “You’re dead, your families are dead, and your pets are dead.” Admiral “ Lighten up Francis”
The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers
June 18th, 2026 at 10:19 am Reply
Blondie: These idiots don’t know that the cocaine goes under the nose, not on top of it.
cheech wizard
June 18th, 2026 at 10:25 am Reply
Mary Worth: All Mary Worth stories involve the characters learning important life lessons. In Tommy’s case he’s going to learn, after several months with Dawn, that some things are worse than a methadone addiction.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 18th, 2026 at 1:15 pm Reply
Gil Thorp: Further proof that Milford is a very small town: When the kids want to get high between dances at prom, the only thing they can get their hands on is Elmer’s Carpenter Wood Glue.
Abram Beazer
June 18th, 2026 at 9:11 pm Reply
Blondie: The tepid reaction to this strip has scuttled the syndicate’s plan to spin these boys off into their own feature: “Jack & Trevor”, a lighthearted yet heartfelt look at the lives of two newlyweds both diagnosed with Wrinkly Clavicle Syndrome.
Bob Tice
June 19th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
Mark Trail: “Okay, Mr. Trail, a little off-topic, but why is it that you seem to look like Bogey from ‘The African Queen’ on acid?”
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
June 19th, 2026 at 5:28 am Reply
Mark Trail: “So you’re saying that if I write you a sufficiently large check, your mother will keep my father…busy, and I won’t have to listen to him complain about how horny he is? How many zeroes did you need?”
Basil Wishbone
June 19th, 2026 at 5:35 am Reply
Shoe: I live in Kansas City. The music scene here would eat Loon alive, with really good barbecue sauce.
Tabby Lavalamp
June 19th, 2026 at 5:54 am Reply
Short sleeves and a bow tie? Weird hair that no young person would actually have? Are we sure this “gorilla sanctuary” isn’t a cover-up for a captive breeding program between Crankshaft and Rex Morgan, M.D.?
Anonymous
June 19th, 2026 at 6:16 am Reply
Heathcliff would really like you to believe that he’s not dressed like a giant turd today.
TheDiva
June 19th, 2026 at 6:50 am Reply
Mark Trail: In today’s panel three, the role of Mark Trail will be played by an Easter Island statue.
Shadow COTW
——————
pugfuggly
June 19th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
Shoe: Kinda beside the point but can you imagine sitting in a diner and some rando walks in with a guitar, sits down at the counter and starts singing? I would cringe so hard my face would invert.
Way to go, Navigator, and to the floaters and shadowers. Thanks, Baja, and I see we have similar tastes in snark since some of the shadows are also scrotes:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
The Quiet Man
June 13th, 2026 at 5:10 am Reply
Luann: The postal service at Camp Whereversville must have access to teleportation technology, if this whole exchange is taking place before the damn camp has even started!
Luann 2: I learned mosquitoes EAT campers! I have to man a gunnery platform for 8 hours a week to make sure they don’t carry any campers away to their hideous lair filled with the drained corpses of their previous victims!
Oh, and there was some other stuff about how to safely administer CPR and listening to campers who say they have food allergies, but I wasn’t really paying attention…
CanuckDownSouth
June 13th, 2026 at 4:59 am Reply
Luann While I admit those are the type of crafts made at many camps, they definitely don’t need much practice. Unless you’re Luann, who apparently failed “scissors and glue” in elementary school.
MW “Yeah Dawn, I’ll *try* to remember that because, wow, you’re the first person to *ever* tell me we’re not alone in *all* of my substance abuse recovery including the people who got me into the bible what with their huge emphasis on a personal / friend relationship with Jesus even when you’re alone ‘in the world’ … suuurrrre”
Brigman is *nailing* sarcastic expression in P2 today!
MKay
June 13th, 2026 at 5:18 am Reply
MW: The Mary mind-meld appears complete. Mary has a healthy new body and Dawn will never notice a thing. Carry on.
Hibbleton
June 13th, 2026 at 6:04 am Reply
MW: “I’ll try to remember that..” is exactly the thing you’d say when you’ve already forgotten what the other person is blathering on about.
Maltmash3r
June 13th, 2026 at 6:14 am Reply
MW- you’re telling your life story to an ex-druggie who has obkect permanence issues. Your last “boyfriend” had control issues and dominated you. You’ve dated almost every male in town including teachers, exchange students and “Jared????”.
When exactly did you figure life out?
pugfuggly
June 13th, 2026 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: If I didn’t know that Tommy was a big dumb puppy dog, I’d assume that he was being sarcastic in that last panel. “We’re not alone? Wow, I’ll try to remember that. Very wise, so original. No really, let’s stop at this tattoo shop so I can have that written across my bicep…”
J.J. O’Malley
June 13th, 2026 at 4:51 am Reply
MW: “I’ll try to remember that, Dawn. Problem is, I have no friends.”
Victor Von
June 13th, 2026 at 6:52 am Reply
Mary Worth: What’s Tommy looking at? In both panels, he’s looking directly behind Dawn, not at Dawn. Either he’s misinterpreted the concept of eye contact, or there’s a big bug on the back of her head.
Fingers crossed that Tommy’s been talking to the bug the whole time!
Tabby Lavalamp
June 13th, 2026 at 6:53 am Reply
You’re in for it now, Tommy. Dawn learned trite platitudes from the grand master. If Worth-sensei is grooming young Weston to be her successor you may end up becoming the sexless paramour forced to listen to endless boring recaps of the lives of people you couldn’t give any less of a shit about.
Bob Tice
June 13th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
MW:
“I was bullied a lot. They made fun of my hair.”
“Go figure.”
TK
June 13th, 2026 at 5:29 am Reply
Tommy is looking like being alone is starting to sound better and better after spending a coupla hours with this ditz.
BigTed
June 13th, 2026 at 4:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I used to think I’d never get this life thing right. When I was a kid, I had a hard time… I was bullied a lot.” “That’s rough. Have you tried drugs?”
Rex Morgan: “What do you say we get some recording done, so you can get out of here to go boff your new girlfriend?” “Heck, why does any guy make any kind of music ever? It’s all for the boffing!”
Horace Broon
June 13th, 2026 at 9:53 am Reply
RMMD: “I guess my life hasn’t been ordinary either — you may have got a cartoon series, turned the Mirakle Method into something that’s probably not a scam any more, and be dating a waitress who’s actually a movie star, but I got very sick one time, wrote a song about a motel, and I’m dating a waitress who’s actually a waitress!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Baja Gaijin
June 13th, 2026 at 5:51 am Reply
Mark Trail: Seeing Mark’s surprised expression, Dreama’s son gave him his Christmas goose half a year early
ValdVin
June 13th, 2026 at 6:02 am Reply
FC: Dolly weighs in on the Why are there two Dakotas? controversy. Which of her commie teachers has awakened the sleeper agent in her?
Hibbleton
June 13th, 2026 at 6:30 am Reply
FC: In a show of devotion to his beloved sister, Jeffy shits himself to distract their parents from Dolly’s blasphemous loyalty oath.
Little Blue Bicycle
June 13th, 2026 at 7:47 am Reply
GT: “A local photographer had a seizure and died at the Milford Prom last night. Sources say that no one noticed Arnold Kovack, age 67, for two hours after his death, due to a controversy over whether to speak to Keri “Peanut” Thorp. This is WDIG.”
Ukulele Ike
June 13th, 2026 at 7:54 am Reply
GT: How sweet. Second panel couple is headed straight to their wedding right after the prom.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Liam
June 14th, 2026 at 4:29 am Reply
MW-“Can we be friends with benefits, Dawn?”
BigTed
June 14th, 2026 at 5:00 am Reply
Mary Worth: Tommy is floating the possibility of being Dawn’s “friend” — without realizing that a friendship with Dawn comes with no benefits, and in fact would probably result in a net loss in your quality of life, even if you factor in the mediocre sex.
Ken
June 14th, 2026 at 5:12 am Reply
MW: Looks like we’re back to Brandy definitely, positively having broken up with Tommy, not that we ever saw it. Either that or his addictive personality has turned to alcohol this time — with comics lettering, he could be saying “I’m still getting over brandy”.
Little Blue Bicycle
June 14th, 2026 at 9:14 am Reply
MW: Dawn and Tommy are really mastering kindergarten skills. Making friends today, numbers next week, the alphabet by Christmas.
Ettorre
June 14th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
I think everyone is grateful that Pluggers are bad at spreading their seed
Dennis Jimenez
June 14th, 2026 at 4:45 am Reply
Pluggers – You’re a Plugger if you don’t have a chip on your shoulder – it’s a 40lb bag of shit….
Hibbleton
June 14th, 2026 at 5:33 am Reply
The strip has drifted so far from its original intended audience that now we celebrate woke Pluggers who refuse to use toxic herbicides.
Vulpes
June 14th, 2026 at 6:03 am Reply
Hagar the Horrible:
Pluggers:
Maybe I’m an elitist, but the phrase “landscaping rocks” sounds entirely wrong when said by Pluggers. It should only be spoken by overpaid home designers hired by upper-middle-class suburbanites, not pathetic salt-of-the-earth beast-men.
matt w
June 14th, 2026 at 6:32 am Reply
@Vulpes: Totally agree. Oooh we’ve got a curved gravel path with large flat stones in among smaller ones. True pluggers would never.
Dmsilev
June 14th, 2026 at 6:42 am Reply
“Landscaping rocks” seems a bit up-market for classic Pluggers. Maybe they’re trying to pivot the very definition of Pluggerdom? We’ll know for sure if there’s ever a strip that introduces Pluggers to feng shui or cottagecore decorating.
Peanut Gallery
June 14th, 2026 at 6:58 am Reply
Pluggers – A plugger’s “landscaping rocks” are whatever rocks are in the drainage ditch where all the soil has been washed away.
TheDiva
June 14th, 2026 at 7:57 am Reply
Pluggers: Yeah, I’m with the consensus that Pluggers don’t have “landscaping rocks.” They have the cement walkway that was put in when their first-ring suburb home was built in 1957, and they see no reason to change it.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
June 14th, 2026 at 7:58 am Reply
Pluggers: I hate everything about this: I hate that I identify with Earl, I hate that I know that the soil in Vadnais Heights, Minnesota is a primarily a mixture of pear or sand and gravel, not red clay, and I hate above all that I went to look up those details to make sure they were correct. Everything dies at last and too soon, Pluggers! I have but one wild and precious life, and I already have to go to Menards this afternoon. Don’t make me waste valuable brain space on you!
Rover Berkeley
June 14th, 2026 at 8:06 am Reply
Pluggers are terrible at gardening?? Oh, good heavens…I’m a PLUGGER!
The Man With The Plan
June 14th, 2026 at 9:30 am Reply
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if even Mother Nature has it out for you.
Baja Gaijin
June 14th, 2026 at 5:47 am Reply
Dick Tracy: I can’t believe they showed this in a newspaper comic strip: Soly Tare waacking off Bob Hope!
richardf8
June 14th, 2026 at 6:40 am Reply
DT – You know Double Up is hurt bad when the caret in his first grawlix is missing from his second grawlix. He’s fading fast!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
treetown
June 14th, 2026 at 8:29 am Reply
JP: Ha, when you just talk it out it does seem like a crazy prank phone call!
Anonymous
June 14th, 2026 at 9:06 am Reply
Did anyone happen to notice that yesterday’s Garfield comic had a joke about rectal penetration?
This is almost as bad as the time Jon accidentally drank dog spunk :o
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Luann’s Back Door
June 15th, 2026 at 4:35 am Reply
MW: Does this mean Dawn and Tommy will become fuck buddies?
MKay
June 15th, 2026 at 6:01 am Reply
MW: O, be ye gratified, Tommy! You have achieved the Dawn Weston Level of Worthiness! Huzzah!
RMMD: The real mystery is that no one, but NO ONE has appeared to notice Mae Mae’s physical change. The world did not suddenly stop body-shaming, especially when it comes to celebrities.
Voshkod
June 15th, 2026 at 6:14 am Reply
“OK, you want the truth? Hollywood is a fickle whore that drains you of all that makes you, grinds you into a paste for public consumption, and wrings you dry like a dirty washcloth. Now, roots county music, that’s where the action is. So don’t watch movies! Listen to roots country.”
Today’s Rex Morgan was brought to you by the Roots Country Music Association of America.
BigTed
June 15th, 2026 at 6:07 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “The media has shown up at the motel.” They were really hoping for some kind of Norman Bates situation, but this will be fine for a 30-second clip after the third commercial. (And yes, the Hallmark Channel Christmas movie people are working on three different versions of this story as we speak. Because that’s the real answer to the question, “What happens to Hollywood actresses after they disappear?”)
Austria
June 15th, 2026 at 6:43 am Reply
Is it just me, or is the second panel of RMMD just the first panel but zoomed in? Did all the effort go into drawing the camera? Come on, man, have some dignity.
Peanut Gallery
June 15th, 2026 at 6:48 am Reply
RMMD – “I was famous. Now I’m not even important enough to draw again for the second panel.”
The Rambling Otter
June 15th, 2026 at 6:53 am Reply
RMMD: It would be nice if the comic namedropped a fictional movie she was in, or even showed a scene from one.
Instead we only have “She was a huge famous actor” without anything to actually show for it.
Maybe she’ll go back to acting and end up in “Kitty Cop: The Movie”
Gil Bates
June 15th, 2026 at 4:35 am Reply
Garfield: Why is the Excitement Fairy wearing knee pads… ooooooohhhh
pugfuggly
June 15th, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
Garfield Well it’s taken nearly 50 years, but Garfield has finally reached its ‘Great Gazoo’ stage. Its a sure sign that this strip will be canceled by, oh, 2046?
Schroduck
June 15th, 2026 at 5:02 am Reply
Garfield: This strip makes a lot more sense when you realise that it’s a hasty rewrite. Originally “excitement” was “excrement”.
The Rambling Otter
June 15th, 2026 at 6:50 am Reply
@Schroduck:
I’m grateful this is the one Garfield-Monday where the “SPLUT!” sound effect isn’t used.
Bob Tice
June 15th, 2026 at 5:07 am Reply
Garfield:
“And speaking of ‘excitement,’ New York City registered 63 arrests, five assaults with a weapon and two burned municipal vehicles following the Knicks’ win Saturday night. Imagine what it would have been like if they’d lost.”
Ettorre
June 15th, 2026 at 5:09 am Reply
Will the Excitement Fairy provide antidepressants if coffee doesn’t do the trick? Or cocaine?
Kirk Out
June 15th, 2026 at 5:46 am Reply
Garfield: The missing fourth panel has Garfield tossing the searing hot coffee back into the fairy’s face and mumbling, “Well, that was exciting.” Now it is on brand.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
June 15th, 2026 at 5:52 am Reply
DT: “It’s a classic film noir starring Joseph Cotton, Alida Valli and Orson Welles, but that’s not important right now.”
Dr. Larry Erhardt
June 15th, 2026 at 6:56 am Reply
A&J: Arlo seems to be just the kind of guy who would have kept the portrait of Alfred E. Neuman (suitable for framing or wrapping fish) he ordered when he was a kid.
MKay
June 16th, 2026 at 4:49 am Reply
DtM: Considering that meat loaf has never, ever been prepared in a sauce pan, I have to give this one to Dennis.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2026 at 4:33 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Potting Soil? I’m pretty sure Dennis would just say it looks like literal poop, he’s 6!
Also that looks nothing like meatloaf and she’s serving it out of a pot?
GarrisonSkunk
June 16th, 2026 at 9:03 am Reply
Dennis Minus Menace: “If meatloaf is cooked in a pot,does that make it pot roast?”- Cheech and/or Chong.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
June 16th, 2026 at 4:52 am Reply
GT just doesn’t work if you copy paste the exact same poses in the final panel but coach-whose-name-I-can’t-be-bothered-to-remember seems to feel he’s effectively gotten them not to dance so close. Of course, Gil Thorp hasn’t worked on any level at all for years, so carry on.
Also, Keri is now calling a lawyer about forced proselytization at a public school event.
Pozzo
June 16th, 2026 at 5:04 am Reply
Milford evidently has no Jewish students. Or maybe he’s telling everyone to make space for Jesus Martinez to bust out his sick dance moves.
CanuckDownSouth
June 16th, 2026 at 5:09 am Reply
GT No, no, Coach Luke! Even if you’ve forgotten that there are kids out there from families that aren’t arch-conservative Christians, don’t you *see* those in hijab?? Only the great and mighty Coach Thorp can do whatever he wants. You’re going to get disciplined at least for religious harassment.
Ettorre
June 16th, 2026 at 5:43 am Reply
Luke and other high school teachers believe that Jesus is not omnipotent and that his physical body is not just present in the Eucharist, but it needs space between two bodies to prevent the sin of fornication. Americans have a number of religious beliefs that would make a late antiquity heresiarch proud!
Tabby Lavalamp
June 16th, 2026 at 5:43 am Reply
Jesus, sitting in a corner, blushed. He’s excited to try his first threesome, Dad darn it, but he was hoping the others would find him cool.
Maltmash3r
June 16th, 2026 at 5:59 am Reply
GT- are we sure that his interjection wasn’t about Gil’s upcoming honeymoon?
TheDiva
June 16th, 2026 at 6:22 am Reply
GT: I admit, I found this more genuinely funny than anything a gag-a-day strip has put out in weeks, if not months. Maybe Gil Thorp should reconsider its calling.
The Mighty Finn
June 16th, 2026 at 7:51 am Reply
This is the funniest Gil Thorpe I’ve ever seen
ValdVin
June 16th, 2026 at 6:38 am Reply
GT: “Leave room for Jesus!”
“Fcking Christian nationalists want to ruin a public school prom.”
2+2=7
June 16th, 2026 at 10:25 am Reply
GIL THORP: I don’t buy this whole scenario, btw. Not only does Coach Martinez not strike me as someone who would be trying to cockblock anyone, much less while invoking Jesus, he seems more like the kid of guy who’d be spending his chaperone time trying to spike the punch and point out which hotel rooms in town rent by the hour while winking profusely.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 16th, 2026 at 11:45 am Reply
GT: Nah, Luke is just trying to earn some extra buck$ as a Milford spokesman for Jell-O and he muffed the line.
Lauralot
June 16th, 2026 at 4:36 am Reply
GT: I like to imagine that Luke wasn’t admonishing the students. Ever since his ghostly encounter, he compulsively shouts “LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” whenever he thinks spirits might be closing in. A variation on “the power of Christ compels you,” if you will.
RMMD: Is anyone going to point out to Mae Mae that, if she keeps insisting there’s nothing special or noteworthy about her whatsoever, people will stop coming and the hotel’s restaurant will fall back into dire financial straits?
treetown
June 16th, 2026 at 5:32 am Reply
RMMD: At this point, I’m still holding out for a medical story line. One of the sharp eyed viewers of this Infotainment Today piece on Lorna Starr will recognize that Mae Mae’s appearance, history of lethargy and ennui are signs of hypothyroidism. Please be that and not some alt-root-country epiphany.
Ukulele Ike
June 16th, 2026 at 8:12 am Reply
RMMD: Later that night Lorna Starr tunes in the oldies station and hears Dionne Warwick’s “Do You Know the Way to San Jose.”
“Have you seen Mae Mae this morning?” “She left with her suitcase a hour ago. Said something about putting a hundred down and buying a car.”
Liam
June 16th, 2026 at 6:07 am Reply
RMMD-“Have you stopped spying on women in their rooms?”
Ken
June 16th, 2026 at 7:23 am Reply
MW: Is this the setup for Dawn stalking Tommy? That could work quite nicely if Brandy returns, plus it has the promise of Dawn’s car going over a cliff.
Horace Broon
June 16th, 2026 at 9:50 am Reply
MW: Gosh, all this time I’ve been going on about how Dawn hadn’t noticed New Tommy earlier, it hadn’t occurred to me to wonder “So, does she shop at Freda’s?” Thank you, Moy, for drawing my attention to this. I can’t decide what option’s funnier:
1) This is the first time Dawn has ever gone grocery shopping like a big girl.
2) Dawn is in Freda’s all the time, but didn’t think “Wow, Tommy’s holding down a steady job, I guess he’s getting better” because he still had the same hair, so he couldn’t have been.
3) Dawn is in Freda’s all the time, but didn’t notice Tommy because who notices stockboys unless you’ve got a specific reason to think they might be people?
4) Dawn has specifically avoided going to Freda’s until now, because she assumed that if they gave Tommy a job, the rest of the staff were probably all junkies as well.
Ukulele Ike
June 16th, 2026 at 10:06 am Reply
@Horace Broon: Dawn always takes her custom to the big CostCo at the edge of town. The largest mayonnaise jars in Freda’s store are only 30 ounces.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
2+2=7
June 16th, 2026 at 9:33 am Reply
LUANN: “I think they’re going to laugh at you because you’re walking around without any pants, Betsy-Wetsy.”
LUANN (2): Y-lime: “Wow, that skid mark on your panties is cool! Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to have an ‘accident’ at night that puts a brown Adidas logo on mine!”
LUANN (3): “I find it sad that some of my girls already fret about my image. I mean I, of course, am no longer embarrassed about the pee trail I occasionally leave in my hallway at night (where do you think “Puddles” learned it from?)
LUANN (4): By the way, how quickly do you think it will take for Nike sues the shit out of Luann after implying that they’re the official sponsors of bedwetters?
Old School Allie Cat
June 17th, 2026 at 6:45 am Reply
DTM – Your kid is telling you that you look like lawn jockey, Henry. The kid’s a menace.
MKay
June 17th, 2026 at 5:16 am Reply
BB: Oh, c’mon. You could have left out “golf.” Throw us a bone!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Charterstone: Dune
June 17th, 2026 at 5:05 am Reply
Pluggers have blotted out the memory of that hobo they killed for the fun of it and hid in a storage locker three towns over.
Baja Gaijin
June 17th, 2026 at 4:25 am Reply
Dustin: You’re a plugger when your professional enemies know they can buy you off with a dozen glazers, not the jelly-filled or frosted with sprinkles. Plain glazers.
TheDiva
June 17th, 2026 at 7:17 am Reply
Dustin: Dustdad makes Lionel Hutz look like Clarence Darrow.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2026 at 4:47 am Reply
Dustin : Every man has a price… and apparently, for Ed Kudlick, that’s barely 30 $ (Including tax).
Hi and Lois: Trixie looks way too smug about sitting in a sandbox that animals definitely have been defecating in and does she think using that 80 year old Looney Tunes dialogue is cute? I do appreciate just how angry that cat looks about being kept from its toilet though. It’s been using it regularly for months and it really needs to go!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
GarrisonSkunk
June 17th, 2026 at 8:30 am Reply
The Familliar Mucus: Why Daddy Is Special- he lets me up on his shoulders even after I soil myself.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 17th, 2026 at 11:39 am Reply
MW: Dawn undoing her bikini top so Tommy can rub sunscreen on her back? Count me in too. Especially if there’s a chance of Brandy flying overhead in a seaplane and strafing them.
Blondie: Today in comic strips that aren’t a sex joke but sure as hell read like one…
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
CanuckDownSouth
June 18th, 2026 at 4:54 am Reply
MW “Actually, lifesaving and competitive speed are different skillsets, but I’ll be sure to swim back to shore to report your demise really fast”
MKay
June 18th, 2026 at 4:56 am Reply
MW: I don’t recall much about Brandy’s personality, but imagine the horror of coming back and finding that you’ve been replaced by Dawn Weston.
Asenath
June 18th, 2026 at 5:14 am Reply
MW: The Tommydawnship looks promising, but they have not sought Mary’s blessing! Beep! Beep! Unauthorized flirtation, that’s an HOA violation!
cheech wizard
June 18th, 2026 at 10:25 am Reply
MW – All Mary Worth stories involve the characters learning important life lessons. In Tommy’s case he’s going to learn, after several months with Dawn, that some things are worse than a methadone addiction.
Horace Broon
June 18th, 2026 at 10:42 am Reply
MW: Dawn: Saved his life, he nearly drowned.
Tommy: She showed off, splashing around.
Readers: Tell me less, tell me less…
RMMD: “The mystery’s solved, and it’s even duller than you probably thought! Also, you probably already heard about it when she told all on social media! My medium is dying almost as fast as newspapers!”
Lauralot
June 18th, 2026 at 5:26 am Reply
RMMD: Mae Mae sent them to Jordan’s because she refuses to wait on people who call her Lorna. Even though all the customers who came to see Lorna Starr have been addressing her as Lorna. It’s a new boundary she just invented, which solves the problem of being on her feet all day.
cheech wizard
June 18th, 2026 at 5:32 am Reply
RMMD -…”and it’s as good a meal as you’ll find anywhere. I’ve learned a lot about eating since I disappeared ten years ago. Can’t you tell?”
The Mighty Finn
June 18th, 2026 at 6:37 am Reply
I sincerely hope that reporter goes back to the newsroom with her lame Lorna/Mae-Mae story and the editor tells her it’s already been cut for time.
Ukulele Ike
June 18th, 2026 at 10:26 am Reply
RMMD: “I’m asking you because it looks like you eat a LOT of food.”
Tabby Lavalamp
June 18th, 2026 at 6:00 am Reply
I don’t know if it’s ever been established that the Bumsteads live near the ocean, but it’s both funnier and sadder if Jack and Trevor* – who carry their surfboards everywhere which is why their parents cry themselves to sleep each night – only surf their local river.
*OMG cartoonists, those shirts are fantastic, please do this in every comic to label every character! Even the major ones! I’d love to never have to remember the name of Dustin’s dad!
Old School Allie Cat
June 18th, 2026 at 6:14 am Reply
Blondie – I have several surfers in my life. My nephew Henry, age 18 has had a regular summer job teaching surf lessons for a company called “Tommy Tsunami” for a few years. When getting into college, my sister hired a guy to help him with the application process. A guy from the local surf community known as “Party Pete”. The cheesy names completely track, but these guys are way too pale to be surfers.
The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers
June 18th, 2026 at 10:19 am Reply
Blondie: These idiots don’t know that the cocaine goes under the nose, not on top of it.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
The Rambling Otter
June 19th, 2026 at 4:44 am Reply
Marvin: I didn’t know that was a couch behind them at first, I was trying to figure out what it was.
I initially thought it was someone’s buttcheeks.
Amelie Wikström
June 19th, 2026 at 4:57 am Reply
If you want to convince me a computer is self-aware, I just want to see it’s capable of both reason and being unreasonable. I might be impressed with ChatGPT if at any point it said “No, because fuck you.” Sorry, but stating that Marvin is unlikable is just basic Marvin marketing jargon, it’s the trash heap for these robots.
MKay
June 19th, 2026 at 4:54 am Reply
MW: It’s ironic that Dawn is SO obsessed with other people changing, when she is so obviously destined to live and die a twit.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Hobbes Fan
June 13th, 2026 at 11:25 am Reply
Is…Mother Goose being interrogated?
69. Sharkmime
June 14th, 2026 at 11:21 am Reply
HtH: “Fun” fact: Hagar was once a mascot for Mugg root beer.
69. Rover Berkeley
June 15th, 2026 at 7:06 am Reply
JP: I see the coffee shop has a new employee. One, I hope, who has the presence of mind to call the police next time a flash mob melee breaks out, instead of just running away.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. ectojazzmage
June 16th, 2026 at 7:48 am Reply
Gil Thorp: In real life, Luke doing this would get him severely reprimanded at best, fired at worst, all for violating the seperation of church and state by trying impose his own religious values on the students. But given he still has a job at all after trying to convert the student body to his ghost cult and lure them into performing unholy sacraments with him, it’s clear that Milford has some relatively lax rules enforcement for teachers.
Also Gil Thorp: I’ll be real, I keep forgetting that Milford is supposed to be a high school and not a college, and by extension that all of Gil’s students are ostensibly teenagers. The teens look and act exactly like the adults, and they spend so much of their time on-panel at school that they may as well be living there in dorms. I actually spent a significant amount of time after I first joined this blog thinking that Gil’s own children were supposed to be grown adults out on their own. I was legit baffled as to why Luke was harassing the student body here about having sex since my first instinct was that they were all in the 18-21 range, so it’d be perfectly normal for their dates to end that way. This comic suffers big time from the whole “teenagers in fiction are just adults that sometimes go to a school” issue that’s nigh-universal in media.
Bizarro: *the lion is handed an envelope with an antelope sticker on it* Hahaha, bet you guys thought I was gonna kill a real antelope or something for this bit! C’mon, man! We’re civilized here. Oh, by the way, once my speech is over they’ll be bringing the zebras in for dinner. Dibs on the foals.
Shoe: I’d respect or at least empathize with the characters of Shoe a lot more if they ever actually DID SOMETHING about the things causing their heavy-lidded depression and shitty puns. Biz is in perfect range and position for you to pitch that bowling ball at his head, Perfesser! If it bothers you so much, just put a stop to it instead of begging for pity!
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Ettorre
June 17th, 2026 at 6:31 am Reply
Tommy is pretty and muscular young man, that’s why seeing him all sexy in a bathing suit will squash Dawn’s blossoming crush for him. Her horribly warped Oedipal mind will only be attracted a big lump of flesh, hair and fat in a speedo
The Rambling Otter
June 18th, 2026 at 7:04 am Reply
I know that Blondie is presumably written by some stuffy old guy who hates young people.
But having a gay couple plan a wedding (?) is a very nice touch.
The reality of it, is they’re probably just having Blondie cater a surfing party, and because the writer’s a stuffy old guy he seemed to have not realized that women can be surfers too.
***
And undersnark apologies to those I missed.
Also, Happy Juneteenth, everybody.
Thanks, Baja and Scratchy! Congrats to Navigator. Just because you don’t believe in them doesn’t mean they’re not there!
@6 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Three scrotes! What a holiday weekend this’ll be.
Thanks Josh (and Baja and Scratchy), and congrats to mythology-minded Navigator and all the COTWs!
Thanks, Baja & Scratchy! You always make my Friday afternoons.
Thanks, Scratchy!
(Deep breath) Domo arigato to Josh for putting me on the float, and thanks also to Baja Gaijin and Scratchy Scrotum LXIX. Congratulations to the very funny Navigator and the others on the float. Tips of the beret to I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV, Voshkod, Joe Blevins, Tabby Lavalamp, Basil Wishbone, Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women, and Gil Bates.
Thanks, Josh, Baja and Scratchy! Congrats to everyone!