9² Chickweed Lane
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So ends the 2026 Comics Curmudgeon Summer Fundraiser. You guys are the best; thank you!
9 Chickweed Lane, 7/25/26
Say, did you know that people have sex? 9 Chickweed Lane does, and wants to show us as much of it as possible! It started in 2008, when Edda and Amos abandoned their adolescence and virginity on the lid of a Böesendorfer Concert Grand in Brussels. With the “will they or won’t they” tension broken, the strip sustained interest by introducing stand-ins Xiulan and Hugh Godalming, Fernanda Jons and Seth Appleby, Fleurrie and Sven Spocket, Diane and Francis Durly, Nan-Lin and Arthur Peel, and others, all with the same story: Will they or won’t they? Oh yes they will, and often!
Soon, horny couples crowded the strip and their stories grew monotonous. To escape that trap, the strip rushed Edda’s twins Polly and Lolly through adolescence into adulthood and marriage, and loosened up the timeline. Now lucky readers can look back at Edda’s and Amos’s awkward teen courtship while enjoying the sexual antics of three generations: grownup Amos and Edda and all the others in the present, daughters Polly and Lolly and their husbands in the future, and Edda’s stepdad Elliott’s lusty courtship of Juliette in recaps of the past.
Nice save, but not a long-term solution. After all, assuming monogamy, the maximum rate of couplings is (P/2)*f, where P is the number of people and f is frequency. I fear Team Chickweed may have its eye on combinatorics: C(P,2)*f, dropping the monogamy (and incest) restrictions, or even (C(P,2)+P)*f if we throw in self-pleasuring. After that, I fear for Edda’s cat.
One Big Happy, 7/25/26
Hey Joe, Pluto is the Roman god of Death and ruler of the Underworld, and you do not want to piss that guy off. And Disney’s copyright lawyers won’t go any easier on you, so tread lightly.
Lockhorns, 7/25/26
They have one, Leroy, and you’re not gonna like it.
—Uncle Lumpy
6 replies to “9² Chickweed Lane”
MW-A hypocrite. Can you say hypocrite, boys and girls?
FC-“Where do I put my keys?”
FC-“None for me thanks. I’m driving.”
One Big Happy:
“Joe, did you know that Earth is the only planet not named after a god?”
“That’s not true! Mars is named after a candy bar. Mercury and Saturn are named after cars. And I’ll spare you the usual tired old body part joke about Uranus!”
RMMD: As much as I bust on the Morgans, I’m not liking the In Cold Blood direction we’re heading for.
Lockhorns:
“Actually, Leroy, I used to ship meals over to Jean-Paul Sartre at his request to allow him to ruminate further, while he was eating, on the existential tangle in which we find ourselves. I was the inspiration for his play ‘No Exit‘ !”
Mary Worth:
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
— Dean Wormer to Flounder, “Animal House”
Oh. Wait a minute. It isn’t Sunday Quote Box Time yet.
FC: She knows, Billy. Why do you think she first strapped your party hat over your mouth and said “Let’s all pretend we’re birds!” ?
Lockhorns: Loretta’s cooking looks just like Loweezy’s. Does this mean Leroy has higher expectations than Snuffy does?
Crankshaft: On the bright side, they won’t be invited to the next All-American Super Bowl Halftime Show.
H&L: Usually I’d complain about product placement in a comic strip, but Molson Coors’ idea to pay for Thirsty to be carrying Pabst is a masterstroke.
Zits: “Don’t let us catch you doing something stupid like in Mary Worth or Gil Thorp, but make sure you don’t become some pallid cipher of legacy teenagedom like Alex Bumstead or Chip Flagston.”