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Probably still hot where you’re reading this, but cool off mentally with this refershing comment of the week

“Damn, this gun is too small to hurt a drone of that size! Luckily I can make it bigger through my superpower of forced perspective!” –Ettorre

These runners up are also very funny! And cool as ice:

“Lucky Eddie is able to pull off the dog simulation thanks to his arms and legs having a canine proportional length. The years of poor nutrition and physical abuse have finally paid off!” –Gil Bates

“Exactly what kind of spy mission does Hagar have in mind, where the success of the test-run is measured in how many excitable maidens can be attracted? Does the planned raid possibly involve his dick in some fashion?” –Maude R. Fawker

“I like the placement of that sign, which suggests that the public library is just a single bookcase in a corner of a building that seems to have a severe mold problem.” –pugfuggly

“Observe how drippy and gormless every Charterstone resident appears. The better to meddle with, of course.” –Lauralot

“This is a cry for help! Every other implement in the kitchen has been sold to pay for bacon! And large, ornate frames, apparently!” –A Grave Mind

“If that muscle car signified anything in the real world, Dr. Jeff’s ‘Do you have plans for tonight? I’d like to take my favorite girl out for dinner’ would be a request for Mary to babysit his two-year old while he escorts his twenty-five year old trophy wife to one of LA’s swankier bistros.” –But What Do I Know?

“This is the sort of joke that’s come into vogue semi-recently under the name of ‘dad jokes,’ which are designed to solicit groans rather than laughter. Still, people more or less enjoy them, and yet Mother Goose looks absolutely fucking miserable as she delivers hers. I assume that she just lost her life savings at this dog track, and is using humor in a futile attempt to hide her feelings as she waits for the loan shark’s enforcers to come cut off her thumbs.” –Vulpes

“I’ve never fully understood how zebra camouflage works. Their stripes break up their outline? If so, is that why The Phantom’s trunks are striped? Is that why drones have never shot The Phantom in the crotch? Inquiring minds want to know!” –Victor Von

“The baby is actually whispering, ‘You can’t break a one-syllable word onto the next line, dummy!’” –BigTed

“‘Whisper whisper?’ What, are they afraid we’ll be able to translate ‘ba ba ba’ and thus spoil the punchline?” –Pozzo

“In addition to the obvious animal rights concerns, carnival geeking is an affront to human dignity, but the Daddy Daze daddy doesn’t have any of that, so why not give it a whirl? I’m with the baby on this one.” –Blond Pardo

“I see the Bum Boat has redecorated and now appears to be a functional bomb shelter. In the event of nuclear war, Santa Royalites will be able to last out the fallout winter, living on baked seafood platters. Truly, the survivors will envy the dead.” –Schroduck

“Something about this is very ominous. Actually, a lot of things about this are ominous. I will focus on one detail: Jeff’s use of the entirely-too-casual slang term ‘nah.’ What are you, some kind of beatnik? Enjoy your seafood sampler platter, Jack Kerouac.” –Joe Blevins

“Mary furiously scribbling a note to herself: ‘Jeff showing signs of escaping containment, must increase dosage’” –Sean

“‘No, I don’t need a videotape on how to use a telephone.’ ‘Those salespeople are pests.’ ‘Non, you idiot, it was General Salan with the activation phrase. Opération Corse is a go. Tell the men to pack up, we’re headed for Corsica. Vive de Gaulle, and to hell with the Fourth Republic!’” –Voshkod

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