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I spent part of my vacation urinating behind this filthy abandoned desert shack, and believe me, I wasn’t the first.

Hi everybody! I’m glad everyone had such a good time with Uncle Lumpy during my week away. I told our good avuncular stand-in, who was all chomping at the bit and posting comics just after midnight on the day they were published for much of the week, that I would start doing my duties again today (Sunday), except that the day sort of got away from me and now I don’t feel like it. So you’ll get Sunday (and Monday) comics tomorrow (Monday) at some point.

Yes, that’s right, it’s my first day back, and I’m already falling behind. You’ll take it and you’ll like it, people!

To soothe your ire, though, I do have this week’s comments of the week for you. First, the winner:

“Mary Worth: This calls for a second opinion, but where can I find a white doctor at this hour?” –Smacky

And some sweet, sweet runner-up action:

“You think Curtis’ dad’s day has gone badly? Just think about mine — I was unable to avoid reading Curtis today!” –reader-who-posts

“Why is Tommie getting kissed? Has the strip shifted into some alternate
universe? Because it’s kind of scary, and I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.” –Wocket

“Is holding hands in bed sweet or creepy and weird? I vote the latter. Though to be fair, everything a Patterson does is creepy and weird, including but not limited to: eating eggs, whistling and playing checkers.” –Plinko Commie

“Hello? One person gets money and props, while another person gets kicked in the teeth, and somehow that’s ‘even’ in the Foobiverse? What, are the Patternsons a single organism like ants or something?” –Sheilagh

“‘Canada is my mistress,’ declared Harvey Rood, ‘and Ontario is her shapely arse!'” –PeteMoss

“Michael’s first published line: ‘Dear Forum: I never thought it would happen to me…'” –Dave

“‘Beavers can be a real problem in some areas.’ Geez, Elrod must know he’s doing a crude Vagisil commercial.” –PeteMoss

“‘What makes you think I’m going to have more beavers?’ Well, after all, nobody can eat just one.” –Pozzo

“‘This is Tommie. She saw the play.’ That sort of sums up the redeeming qualities of our nearly invisible heroine. Gina might as well have said, ‘This is Tommie. She has pocket lint.'” –Coffeeclash

“I never saw any of Stalin’s cartoons, but I bet they sucked. Of course, no one was gonna tell him that.” –True Fable

“MossMoses raises the intriguing possibility that there is some sort of nested series of bullies in Curtis, each of which is named after the last one in the series. That is, “Onion” is named after `Onion’, and likewise there is a bully named after “Onion” named “`Onion”’. All of this raises the possibility of there being a level-zero bully, or ur-bully if you like, whose name is simply Onion. Of course, it may be that even Onion isn’t the ur-bully, and that he himself was named after some other bully who called himself Leek or something.” –Craigers

“Foob: Why does everyone go around in their socks? This whole comic strip smells like stinky feet.” –Ham Gravy

“Crankshaft: Actually, his blood type is O so very negative!” –Mibbitmaker

“(DT)GT: ‘But then she backslides like a class clown.’ Buh? Do class clowns have some sort of 12-step program or something?” –True Fable

“Whenever I see someone say the word ‘hope’ in Funky Winkerbean, I imagine some crusty old prospector leaping into town all crazy and excited, only to find out that his haul is nothing but Fool’s Hope. And then he dies of black lung.” –Rhekarid

“Exactly what does Curtis’s dad do anyway? I’ve always assumed he has some kind of classic comedy generic office job but upon closer examination of that enormous sculpted melon of his, he might be an Easter Island statue impersonator. Although I can’t imagine a gig like that pays enough to keep a guy in smokes.” –Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy

“Re: Sally Forth. Have no fear. There won’t be another comic strip character party/shindig. The birthday will just be Sally tossing back the bourbon and hurling out the obscenities. After all, that’s how I plan to ring in 40 this year.” –Ces

And of course, I’m never too busy to kiss some advertiser butt:

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

And! I must give EXTRA BIG thanks to everyone who participated in Uncle Lumpy’s (totally not suggested by me) bake sale! All the recipes look delicious, and everyone who sent in a donation to my tip jar will get a personal thank-you note from me tomorrow, promise.

Finally, we all really need to give “mad props” (as the kids in Curtis say) to Uncle Lumpy for his admirable fill-in curmudgeoning. This was the first time I’ve done anything like this in the 2+ year history of this site. The blog is my baby, and I was a little nervous about it, but I think it turned out to be a smashing success. So three cheers for our noble Uncle, who is more prompt than I! And more comics action and less jibber-jabber from me tomorrow, promise.