Metapost: Crusty delicious comments of the week
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Guys, do you remember earlier this month, when I made a joke about Wilbur’s sandwich photography Tumblr? Well, obviously — obviously — this is a thing that actually exists. Obviously!
Anyway, now it is time for your comment of the week:
“Is Iris the on-call person for the Fortune Cookie Hotline? Reminding people to add ‘in bed’ is just one of the many services the FCH provides.” –bartcow
And your runners up! Very funny!
“I have long suspected the Beetle Bailey tanks were inflatable.” –Rusty
“Wow … Iris is puttin’ the moves on the old hobo guy. See how she distinctly eyes him when she says ‘In bed’ and he’s all ‘That’s what I’m talkin’ about’. She might as well just straddle him right there. Then I’ll just kill myself.” –Andie
“Look, I know it’s dumb to complain about the artwork in Crock, and I wouldn’t say anything if it were just the people and animals and buildings that were painfully off-model. But seriously, how hard is it to draw the sun? It’s a fucking circle.” –Dr. Handsome
“Really Dan? Flying in from Colorado? I’m not going to judge you, we both know you’re here to sing your greatest hits at the Ramada Inn Lounge on 52nd St. Now let’s hear some ‘We’ve got tonight.'” –Maggie the Cat
“Clearly this man is a genie, as you can even see Lonnie rubbing the lamp in panel one.” –Poor Thompson
“9CL: Oh my God. I think I’ve finally found my breaking point, and it’s seeing two chicks in bathrobes hanging all over an alarmed Seth. It’s like a stupid, hurty version of Three’s Company.” –Shem
“I like the band-aid on Mark Trail’s head. It’s a helpful reminder that he was shot, presumably in the head.” –SideshowJon
“I, for one, am predicting that Beetle Bailey will go into a Funky Winkerbean-esque slide into depressing melodrama, starting with the revelation that Halftrack is now developing Alzheimer’s. Or schizophrenia. Which one makes old people dress up like Flintstones characters, again?” –Sillstaw
“Note that Miss Buxley doesn’t say ‘the Army’s budget reduction’; instead, she says ‘our budget reduction.’ What she means is that Walker-Browne industries are losing money, and they are in danger of being taken over by Parker-Hart. General Halftrack is therefore being proactive by trying to stake out a claim on a role in B.C., lest he join the rest of his troops in being re-assigned to Crock. Can you blame him?” –seismic-2
Judge Parker: “I think Sophie’s blooming into womanhood will consist of the sound effect ‘BO-YO-YO-YOING.'” –Chyron HR
“Elizabeth Taylor immortalized the role of Margo in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf; Richard Burton played Alan/Trey/Jack, and Sandy Dennis was Lu Ann. The role of Tommie was played by no one, who received that year’s Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.” –Uncle Lumpy
“Since Luann has the features and bone structure of a Jack o’ Lantern, she has good reason to be depressed about the aging process.” –Mustang
“Here’s a tip on making FW enjoyable. Virtually every Funky strip can be spiced up if you imagine one final panel where someone says, ‘Awwww, snap!'” –Captain Plaid Pants
“I’ve always held the belief that the best way to make a marginally witty joke sound funnier is to employ a funny voice at a key moment, but the Gasoline Alley suit guy seems to go for wild arm gestures and ta-daaa moves like he’s some sort of terrible pun magician.” –Drew Funk
Also there is this awesome thing from commodorejohn which was too long for consideration, but awesome nonetheless.
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