Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Beetle Bailey, 2/26/05

Look at ’em! Bunch of lousy peacenik hippies! Not a decent pair of pants or shoes in the whole bunch!

On the bright side, though: tube tops. You don’t get those at a pro-war rally.

By the way, I know I live in a blue state and all, but do they actually have pro-war rallies? Like, people carrying signs that say “BOMB ‘EM” and stuff?

Anyway, this strip features Rocky, one of the lesser-used Beetle Bailey platoon members. The writers like to come up with a new one-dimensional character every few years and beat his lone joke to death slowly and painfully (good ol’ Chip Gizmo is current holder of this honor) before relegating him to the supporting cast. Rocky’s heyday must have been back in the 1950s or so, because he gets his name from the fact that he likes the durn “rock and roll” music that the kids are all hot and bothered about these days. I always confuse him with Killer, whose distinguishing characteristic is that he likes the ladies (he’s a ladykiller, get it?). If Killer were used in this strip, it might have made a vague sort of sense (yes, that midriff-baring pacifist again). As it is: sorry, but no.

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Beetle Bailey, 11/17/04

Hmm … let’s see … Beetle Bailey … hasn’t been funny for years … need new character … Japanese guy both offensive and not funny … computer geek guy also not funny, possibly offensive … I know! Tiny gnome who lives in the forest and casts magic spells!

I can’t see anything going wrong with that. Pure comedy gold!

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Beetle Bailey, 12/9/04

For everyone who doubts that the French are a menace to all we hold dear in the good old US of A, I offer this installment of Beetle Bailey. Since they know that they can’t beat our military in a stand-up fight, we can here see that they are undermining our army’s preparedness. Sure, there are no actual French people in the comic, but Camp Swampy’s morale is being ravaged by ennui — an emotion so identified with the French that there isn’t even an English word for it. Quelle horreur!

(And a shout out to Nico “Speedo” Goerg in Gay Paree — we’re keeping an eye on you over there!)