Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 8/7/04

Hey, kids! Remember nearly four weeks ago, when Wilbur was about to ask out lovely widow Iris? Been wondering what’s happened in the month since then? While no doubt entire relationships have come and gone since then in the real world, in Mary Worth, we’ve had exactly one extremely long and tedious first date (if you can call it a date when you bring your college-age daughter along). At this rate, Wilbur and Irma might actually get busy sometime in 2009.

Anyway, just thought I’d keep you posted, in the spirit of the title of this blog. Also, I’d like to point out the loving detail that the artist has put into the hair that coats the back of Wilbur’s hand and peeks out at the top of his chest — as well as the three lonely strands that are lovingly combed across the top of his head. I think you’re counting your chickens before they’re hatched, there, Wilbur.

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Mary Worth, 7/12/04

This strip contains what may be the first use of the phrase “Wilbur makes an overture” in the history of the English language. I can’t stop reading Mary Worth, just like I can’t stop looking at a train wreck. The petty shenanigans of its plotlines, combined with its glacial pace, mark it out from the other soap opera strips. I remember an unpleasant dinner party that once lasted six weeks.

This storyline is still in its embryonic stages. Surely a monkey wrench will be thrown into this budding romance, or this plot will be even duller than time that the 12-year-old kid let the air out of the slightly cranky professor’s tires.