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Mary Worth, 7/12/04

This strip contains what may be the first use of the phrase “Wilbur makes an overture” in the history of the English language. I can’t stop reading Mary Worth, just like I can’t stop looking at a train wreck. The petty shenanigans of its plotlines, combined with its glacial pace, mark it out from the other soap opera strips. I remember an unpleasant dinner party that once lasted six weeks.

This storyline is still in its embryonic stages. Surely a monkey wrench will be thrown into this budding romance, or this plot will be even duller than time that the 12-year-old kid let the air out of the slightly cranky professor’s tires.