Archive: metaposts

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Ready for your comment of the week? Ready? Ready???? Here it is!

“As an Xer, I find Joey’s Thom Browne-inspired skinny jeans and exposed ankles look unnerving and a bit gauche. On the other hand, I’m comforted by his classic low top Chuck’s and his ‘dude, let’s go’ posture. Menacing? No, he’s exuding self-confidence and risk taking while Dennis goes back to the socks + overalls well yet again.” –Bull City

And here are your funny runners up!

“How is a vision problem that bad corrected with contact lenses? There must be an audible squeak every time she blinks.” –pugfuggly

“Shoe could have suggested saving on overhead by mooching off a neighbor’s wi-fi, since that’s apparently what he’s doing. Unless he has some kind of treethernet.” –astroboy

“Wilbur walking back from the airport, wearing a sombrero, arms loaded with luggage, clumsily bumps into Dirk knocking him in front of a city bus is probably the only solution to this story line that doesn’t require real insight.” –Hibbleton

Shoe is written for the rapidly-dwindling audience that still considers the internet a fad. Once the last member of that audience finally, finally dies of extreme old age, Shoe will only continue for another 10 or 15 years. Meanwhile, Curtis will continue to comfort those who still consider rap music a fad. And Snuffy Smith will do so for … electricity, I guess? Do they have electricity?” –Joe Blevins

“[Attenborough voice] Sam now confronts Alan. The startled Judge responds instinctively, mirroring the posture of the aggressive younger male. With his dominance reinforced, the storyline can now return to its previously peaceful boring state.” –BarflyLS20

Let me tell you a story … ‘In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit’ … [twenty-seven hours later] ‘He drew a deep breath. Well, I’m back, he said.’ What? I thought a nerdgirl like you would appreciate a classic.” –Voshkod

“Look, Ketcham & Kompany, I appreciate the stab at verisimilitude, but honestly, you only needed to shadow the under-the-bed area. Because as it is now, it looks like only thing in this room that hasn’t pissed itself is your titular character, and while frankly I wouldn’t put it past Joey to just let ‘er rip wherever he happens to be standing, I don’t need to think that either a) the shoes, toy truck, etc. have evolved bladders or b) Joey made sure to hit everything in the room while Dennis was making up a reason to wear socks like the simp he is.” –els

“Dirk has learned to weaponize therapy speak to manipulate people even further. Mary will be stuck in a conundrum: Should game respect game, or is it right to feel jealous at a younger competitor?” –Philip

“You’re worried about the relationship between Bitsy and Marvin. Me? I’m worried about how the dog eats with those enormous molars. How does he even close his mouth?” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

Here’s Exhibit A in my IP lawsuit against Hanna-Barbera, who owe me millions for Muttley.” –ValdVin

“Whatever that thing is, it’s in front of the trees, so I’d estimate its size as … Wait, am I trying to draw conclusions about Alice based on the laws of perspective? Never mind.” –Horace Broon

“She had selflessly left a kitchenware party to tend to my grievous wounds. ‘Just call me Angel of the Corning, she cooed.’” –Bob Tice

“‘I awoke in Heaven…’ Wait, this was when you had just committed crimes, before your redemption. You mean that you can go to Heaven, whatever your deeds? The Phantom runs on Calvinism!” –Ettorre

“The chin is weird, but I’m struck by the glum expressions all around. Did someone notice that there are six plates, but only five forks, and no napkins whatsoever?” –Charterstoned

“Do the Keane kids HAVE that many grandparents? Or did they just invite a nearby nursing home to party?” –MKay

“You think you’ve earned a little fourth-wall break, Curtis? Huh? You think you’re fuckin’ Bushmiller-era Nancy? Is that it?” –Dan

“Frankly I can’t think of a more apt dilemma for a Rex Morgan character than ‘I want to do something interesting, but it’s just so haaaaaaard!’” –TheDiva

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Hello all! I have this week’s comment of the week for you, but before that … a couple of notes. A few of you inquired about my safety in the current LA wildfires. Fortunately, we are far enough away from the fires that I’m not worried unduly (though we do have go-bags packed); we know people who have evacuated and lost homes but for us personally, the worst thing is the oppressive atmosphere (literal and figurative) from all the smoke.

However! I will note that somewhere very far down on the list of bad things about this disaster is the fact that it has forced me to eat a certain amount of crow. You may recall that I mocked the realism of the August 2020 Funky Winkerbean storyline, claiming that we would never see anything like the scope of disaster as depicted in the strip, which depicted a wildfire that hit both West Hollywood and Malibu; I assumed this would require a continuous wall of flame across 30 miles of the Santa Monica mountains.

But I hadn’t considered another possibility: that we’d have two very wet winters followed by a very dry one, and then we’d get freak 100 mph winds that started apocalyptic fires in multiple places simultaneously.

Anyway! I’m sitting my ass down and learning, mostly because the air is so foul I don’t want to go outside.

Also! Unrelated! But! You may recall that I have a Patreon, which I set up years ago. I initially intended to use it for bonus content of some sort, but I never really came up with what that might be, which means a number of very nice people are simply giving me several dollars a month and getting nothing in return! Subsequently I set up my subscription services, which allow you to get an ad-free version of the site or an email version of each post, which made me feel all the guiltier about letting down my Patreon backers.

Well, anyway, I just recently realized that I could simply … also put every day’s post on my Patreon, available only to my backers there! So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past week and will do in the future: if you follow me on Patreon, an ad-free version of my daily posts will show up in your feed, and (depending on your preferences) will get emailed to you as well. If you already back me on Patreon, you may have noticed this already; if you haven’t, go on over to the site and check it out! And if you’re someone who has been contemplating subscribing to my posts but don’t feel like putting your credit card number into yet another website because that’s what you use Patreon for, well, good news! Go and sign up!

OK! Thanks for indulging me with all that. Now, it is time for your comment … of the week.

Curtis really missed the opportunity to pivot the strip to be about a newly divorced dad who has to navigate raising two children and a new marriage to a chair that’s dubiously legal at best.” –Jake

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Those are all the Morgans’ friends in 2025. Did some focus testing, and Buck just wasn’t putting up numbers.” –Illoumalnati, on BlueSky

“Not a vegan, but my understanding is that someone who’s been vegan for a while and all at once scarfs a huge chunk of beef is likely going to throw it back up, so I’m disappointed Dawn didn’t do that here mid-makeout. It would have made the date at least a little interesting.” –Thrax

“Holy crap, Jughaid’s a watch hipster. Like any watch snob, he’d spit on a quartz piece despite the more accurate timekeeping. Unlike any other watch snob though, he’s also spit on anything with a wrist strap. Suck it up and get a Casio, kid. You’ll still get to hold your head high in the watch collector community, and many models have an alarm.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Miss Prunelly laughs because she knows how Jughaid feels. She didn’t get what she wanted for Christmas either (a blouse that buttons up in the front for a change).” –TheDiva

“I’m loving that ‘JEFFY’ sweater. Obviously that eponymous melonhead can’t read it (especially upside-down) so I’m guessing that Ma and Pa made him wear it so they don’t mix him up with the dog.” –pugfuggly

“‘But I’m the voice of Milford sports!’ seems less like a plea for his job and more like an explanation. ‘If you had to cover those idiot kids trying to move balls up and down a field every night, you’d drink too!’” –BigTed

“Billy knows that they have all been living in a newspaper comic strip for 23,686 days. Jeffy knows, too. He just doesn’t care. Sometimes they draw him in a shirt with ‘JEFFY’ on it. Sometimes they don’t. Nothing matters. Better not tell Dolly and PJ, though. They aren’t ready.” –Mysterion

Hungover golf Monday is the first three-day holiday of the year at Foofram industries.” –Hibbleton

“Somehow I’m just noticing that every declarative sentence in Barney Google and Snuffy Smith ends with two exclamation marks. The incorrigible thief Snuffy must have stolen them from Hi and Lois because ‘I brought the rum,’ said as you enter holding out a bottle of rum, is something that should be boomed out cheerfully. Not murmured in a hushed tone as if you’re afraid that Dot will wish you into the cornfield.” –matt w

“You know what? I actually want to express a certain degree of respect to Snuffy Smith in today’s strip. Imagine loving your life SO MUCH that a literal psychic could tell you that all she can see in your future is the same crap you’re already doing — and your genuine, knee-jerk response is to do a fist pump and cheer. Say whatever you want about that awful, filth-encrusted, illiterate criminal, but he’s sincerely living his best life. And that’s horrifying in its own way.” –Craig!

“Now, I’m not just any detective, Sam. I’m a Stylized Exposition Detective. That’s why my tie is hanging loosely from my shirt collar as if to suggest that I’ve been working all day running down tips, even though it’s early in the morning and my tie get-up should therefore be in pristine form!” –Bob Tice

“In most civilized countries, tucking your sleeveless sweater into your pants is grounds for divorce, if not execution by the Fashion Brigade.” –Chaze

“I can’t believe Bil said ‘fr***s’ and ‘kl***s’! It might have been fine in the 1970s, but times have changed! Time to cancel him!” –Ettorre

“It’s the goon’s cauliflower ear that really sells it. ‘He marked me for my sins, forever changing me and saving me from a life of crime. Then he whaled on my ear, just for the fun of it!’” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

Busty starlet is wearing a patch on her left buttcheek leaking a slow release of cocaine into her bloodstream. Hence the broad smile and why she’s not fallen asleep yet.” –Ukulele Ike

“On the sidewalks of Charterstone, Toby stands transfixed, struck by the realization: Dawn Weston is actually Superman. ‘No, Toby? No,’ says Ian. ‘We’ve talked about this. They’re just glasses.’” –Dan

“Hope isn’t everything, Dustin. You need to feel the lash of the whip.” –Lawyerbob

“The story of this date can serve as the basis of Wilbur’s next ‘I Shouldn’t Be Alive!’ column after he gets back! Is Dawn’s destination for this date somewhere on the other side of Kelrast Curve? But if Dawn can’t see just how good-looking Dirk is, then what’s the point in putting up with his company?” –seismic-2

“It was already evident that Dawn is too submissive in this relationship, no need to literally put her in a dog collar to drive it home.” –Philip

“Welp, that takes care Trixie. Who else’s day can I ruin with a single question? Maybe I’ll amble over to the Thurston house and ask Irma ‘Ugh! How can you be married that drunk loser?!’ That’ll rub her never-changing sham marriage in her face.” –jenna

“The complications that come with dating? Like what? When your significant other doesn’t love ‘Muddy Boots’ quite as much as you do? The boring douchebags of Glenwood have the most conflict-free romances ever seen in fiction. The closest thing this comic has had to relationship problems in years is when Truck sulked for fifteen minutes after spilling coffee in Wanda’s diner.” –jroggs

“I wasted a little time trying to see if I could imagine my mid-twenties son saying ‘Enjoy that empty nester status,’ then realized I couldn’t imagine anybody saying it.” –Rube

Santa pants, Santa hat but black, sky-blue shirt, corduroy vest, Lime-green and black scarf, [squints] ice skate boots? …is his mom drunk or is the artist drunk?” –astroboy

“Since he’s our tech guy, we make him dress like a nerd. As a joke. He hates it, but who gives a shit, he’s a nerd skeleton.” –ectojazzmage

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks! It is once again time for me to take my long winter’s nap, by which I mean a week or so off from posting on the site so that you can take a break from reading and spend time with your families (or with your bookie or with cable TV, I don’t care what you do). Do not fear, however: I will return after the New Year to let you know how badly Dawn’s date goes, and will keep on blogging in 2025 and for all eternity.

In the meantime, though, here’s your top comment of the past few days, something to tide you over:

Like a toothache! Not that we have to worry about that! [they all open their mouths wide to reveal their weird gummy maws]” –pugfuggly

And here are your runners up! Very funny!

“Wait, Yeet-Saying Teen’s name is Oscar? That’s not right at all. If the only thing he can say is ‘yeet,’ his name has to be Yeet. Have these people never seen Grape Ape?” –Peanut Gallery

“Over ‘winter break’? Hootin’ Holler was the last place I expected meek surrender in the War on Christmas.” –matt w

“Disney may have lost their joint trademark with WB on ‘superhero,’ but their back-up plan is that if they publish a comic book called Comic Book, maybe they can trademark that.” –Horace Broon

“At least Santa and his old lady appear to spend their year judging Naughty/Nice at Molly Hatchet concerts. They need judging, and not just for being Molly Hatchet fans.” –A Grave Mind

AUBEE looks like a name you’d see if you asked Midjourney to generate a picture of Santa checking his list.” –ambignostic, on BlueSky

“Dude, the least you could have done is make it rhyme. I’ll get you started: ‘steak’ rhymes with ‘milkshake.’” –Pozzo

“Meanwhile, Blondie is reading out loud from 50 Shades of Grey on her iPad, and also using ChatGPT to change half the original text to descriptions of food. It takes a lot to get things going in bed when you’re a couple of long-married weirdos, but darn it, they’re trying!” –BigTed

“No, no, Dawn! Pale mauve doesn’t go well with red flags.” –MKay

Boring, repetitive, primary purpose is to cause you to seek out distraction from the unpleasantness? It’s the perfect Rex Morgan, M.D., Christmas gift!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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