“Anyone here own a top hat? Or seen one? Ever? Yet the Mitchells own one. Look at Henry’s pose, right there. THAT, friends, is the asshole who thought it was cool to dress as Mr. Peanut for Halloween, every year, from 1987 to 2002.” –A Grave Mind

“This whole arc is like a surrealist horror film in premise: a man goes away on business for a few days and comes back to find his wife has for some reason brought a stranger into his house and that stranger seems to exist purely to torment the man. But the stranger is a parrot and the victim is Ian which turns this from a psychological nightmare commenting on themes of masculinity to the feel-good comedy of the year.” –ectojazzmage

“Attaboy, Ian — pour the bird guano on the floor and carpet. It’ll do them wonders.” –Bob Tice

“Oh no, Gil’s got the avian flu, in that he’s dunking his whole head right into that ramen like a duck.” –pugfuggly

“The problem of personalist rule is that it weakens bureaucratic institutions with much better knowledge and memory. For example, Rodney Rat already tried this scheme during the Obama administration, but neither Princess Pussycat nor Slylock remember this. I do, on the other hand, because the Comics Curmudgeon has stored this information and made it retrievable, something that would be useful to impose the iron fist of the state as much as it is to do dick jokes.” –Ettorre

“Judging by the size of that utterly indefensible picture window in the background, the Princess spends far more time worrying about thieves than a human counter-revolution led by Slick Smitty or Viscount Weirdly, who has been co-opted into the regime with a title and a grant sufficient to cover lab expenses.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“After submerging them both in water, the Rational Reynard found the shocking truth: both crowns displaced the same amount of water. Either both were real, or both were fake. If the former, then there were two sovereigns, and civil war must ensue. If the latter, then the royal treasury must be empty, and civil war must ensue. He finally pointed mutely to the one on the left, knowing it didn’t matter, knowing that the fall of the state was inevitable. The once-Vainglorious Vulpine turned, and left the castle to face the brutal future. At least he had Max with him. That would provide a meal or two when the granaries burned and famine set in.” –Voshkod

“There are only two scenarios in which Ian would ever have a ‘University Excellence’ award. One would be if Toby made it and claimed it was delivered in the mail, as an attempt to stop one of her husband’s violent rages. The other would be if he ordered it for himself.” –Lauralot

“‘Oh no! My fragile excellence award, and the Jenga tower I was using to display it!’ My sympathies remain low.” –Ken

“You can leave Hootin’ Holler? There were people living in Hootin’ Holler who could show their faces somewhere else without being chased away by an angry mob? And the strip never showed them to us?” –matt w

“Toni’s idea of foreplay is a perverse mindfuck directed at her unsuspecting sex partner. Remind him of a failed task, then prevent him from correcting his mistake with her feminine charms. The guilt he feels as he takes her in his arms is an aphrodisiac to her twisted brain. Extra pleasure is derived if it involves increased suffering of rival loved ones!” –SabeHombre

“This is how kids learn about the world around them. The snowman melts; Joey doesn’t.” –Hibbleton

“He’s employed me for years despite my laziness and incompetence — so, no, he’s actually a very, very stupid boss!” –BigTed

“Leroy understands the golden rules of comedy: wait next to a large prop for someone to walk by, say something incomprehensible, then explain the joke, which is that you hate your wife. It’s how all the greats got started.” –Navigator

“Ed, you idiot! Those pints of Jeni’s failed Mashed Potato Ice Cream sell for top dollar on the dark web!” –Gil Bates

“And the worst part is that his name has to rhyme! I’ve tried Lancer, Cancer, Necromancer … and they’re all shit! At this point, I’d settle for Hansard, or Panzer, or even The Answer!” –Guts Dozier

“I don’t know how many bowls of ice cream it will take to soothe my discontent, but so far it isn’t two.” –lynn

“Well no, we haven’t discussed holiday plans. Since this dumb book deal is the most interesting attribute about us as a couple, we’ve laser-focused on that topic for months. We haven’t even been able to pay attention to the passage of time. [does double take] Wait is it Christmastime now? Wow, time really does fly, huh.” –2+2=7

“That bird is only saying what everyone is thinking — and also repeating what everyone is saying.” –Boomer

“To be fair to Crock, in my experience ‘I’m drunk‘ is a reliable way to get out of a lot of conversations (relationships, jobs, etc.).” –a.

“You have to wonder about the parents who remain in line with their children. They can see, right? They know what awaits them at the front of the line, correct? ‘Just twenty more minutes, Tyler, and you can be the one awkwardly perched on the lab of the unsettling pizza box automaton.’” –Joe Blevins

“Henry wears a lot of layers for just reading the paper at home. Maybe he’s one of those low-thermostat guys (laudable).” –Joe Friday I’m In Love, on Bluesky

“Writers advise avoiding ‘shoe leather,’ the depiction of how characters get from one scene to the next. Just go straight from one interesting part to the other, they advise. These writers never had to fit a two-panel joke into a Sunday strip.” –matt w

“One of my peeves is comics that mix speech balloons for adult humans with thought balloons for animals and babies yet both supposedly work as communication with others so I guess we’re to assume that horrifying telepathy exists in these worlds and nobody says anything about it. However, if a thought balloon was just a thought balloon, it makes this comic actually amusing if it’s just a bartender staring at the dog sitting at his bar with a big stupid grin on its face, unaware that its joke wouldn’t make sense even if anyone could hear it.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Look at that smile and sudden healthy glow in the third panel, we’re about to launch into Gil Thorp’s Day Off.” –Charles Louis Richter, on Bluesky

“That’s some look on Hi’s face in the last panel. He knows he’ll surely die if he sticks around to watch this racy(?) action-packed(?) film, but he’s going to anyways. It’s like if they made The Ring for middle-aged dads.” –pugfuggly

“Thor lives in the emptiest cave ever half-imagined into existence. Get some rock-based furniture, a fire pit, some skins, guano, anything to liven the place up!” –Victor Von

“I don’t blame Ian for being upset. After all, Othello’s autograph is pretty rare.” –seismic-2

“You have to respect Sunny’s ability to distinguish Ian’s possessions from Toby’s. Though maybe Toby put all her stuff safely away a couple days ago, when she realized parrots have no bowel control.” –Ken

“‘Sir Richard Wellbottom’ sounds like an adult film star who specializes in Shakespeare parodies: Much Ado About Pegging, King Leer, Romeo and Juliet and Rosaline…” –TheDiva

“If there’s one thing Herb loves, it’s staring off into the middle distance while making smug faces for no reason as a mysterious omnipotent narrator rambles incoherently.” –ectojazzmage

“Some might point out that Ian’s accusation doesn’t really imply the bird can read at all, as there’s a number of simpler ways a parrot could notice an association between the Playbill and Ian. However, that actually makes Toby’s accusation itself logically consistent, as she herself can’t read and assumes that Ian’s daily wistful stroking of the cover is what constitutes the act.” –NotImportant

“Of course birds can’t read! But Othello is a play, they just need to listen and watch it! Think, Toby, think!” –Ettorre

“Due to the scrawly font I misread ‘platforms’ as ‘flatworms’ and, honestly, I think it was an improvement. Alice would at least have an opinion on those.” –Hergen

“And so the fumbling attempt to unionize Dithers & Co comes to an abrupt end. The workers shouldn’t have picked a foreman who’d sell them out not even for spare ribs, but for the idea of spare ribs.” –Schroduck

“Augie should just explain to Summer that, in accordance with their namesake seasons, she is hot and boring whereas Autumn is cool and interesting.” –Violet

“I choose to believe that the “squawk” box in the last panel is also part of Ian’s dialog.” –Dmsilev

“Ok, that’s all good and well, but why is he eating outside? Turkey farts? Probably turkey farts.” –pugfuggly

“He’s depressed in advance about how much pie he’s going to lose in that beard.” –MKay

“Humpty didn’t crack open his fellow carton-mate, but he did feast on the albumeny innards of the predeceased, a crime so heinous they have no law against it.” –Rex Thrillho, on BlueSky

“Dustin has embraced his inner Crankshaft, God help us all.” –TheSodorViaduct, on BlueSky

“We see these occasional departures where the strip explores the lives of popular nursery rhyme characters. Is the titular Mother Goose telling these stories to entertain children? Or, since we’ve never seen her with any kids, does she make these stories up to ward off children? Probably the latter, right?” –Victor Von

“I’ve never seen an egg-human with such a small face before. Not clear why I find this vaguely unsettling.” –some guy vaguely unsettled by a cartoon of an egg

“That look on Augie’s face is perfect for someone who has tried over and over to explain the concept of a fictional character inspired by a real person. ‘Please don’t ask for details. You said yourself that she’s smart. I don’t want to admit that that’s one of the differences.’” –Nevin, on Patreon

“You got any six-day old food? Does your disgusting filthy restaurant have any meat that’s just been sitting around since last Thursday? I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, and a bit of violent food poisoning would do the job nicely.” –Schroduck

“Listen, when I texted you ‘semiotic theory and chill?’ this is not what I had in mind.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I enjoy Dick Tracy helpfully providing a balloon labeled ‘machine gun.’ They need to go the full nine here, though! ‘Dick Tracy’s Hand!’ ‘Cigarette!’ ‘Thinking Cop’s Chin!’ Oh, the possibilities!” –A Grave Mind

“I struggle to believe that cars in the Alice-verse are that expensive. I mean, they’d just be made out of vague abstract shapes like everything else in this comic.” –ectojazzmage

“Well, you’re certainly a plugger if you read your mail while standing by your mailbox, as opposed to, say, walking a few feet into the comfort of your own home where you can sit down; it’s easier to read; there’s a letter opener; etc.” –Bob Tice

“TIRED: Wilbur is bad at raising a pet
WIRED: Ian emerges menacingly from the mist to visit his wrath upon a pet” –Dan

“I’d be more upset about Jeffy pulling her coat down off her neck to ogle her nape. Probably why Thel wears a turtleneck in the house.” –Hibbleton

“Look at that disaster! Wishing well? More like wishing badly!” –Ettorre

“I’m intrigued by Jeffy’s odd facial expression and posture. I can only assume he’s imitating long-dead variety show host Ed Sullivan, which would be spot-on for this strip.” –Joe Blevins

“In an attempt to stay relevant, Heathcliff has adopted Netflix’s strategy of having characters explain everything that’s happening in detail so that viewers can still keep up with the plot while being glued to their phones. Tomorrow’s caption: ‘The stench of rotting meat has attracted the Beings, and we are all in grave danger.’” –Austria