“First I wondered why the Gearhead Gertie artists felt the need to label the Grand Canyon. Then I wondered why they felt the need to give Gertie a line of dialogue that added nothing to the observers’ commentary. Then I wondered why the two observers were saying anything either. Eventually I wondered why I was reading Gearhead Gertie in the first place, and finally why anything happens at all, and here I am, envying Gertie’s ability to just live in the moment.” –Kevin Miller

“Others might have quailed before the task, but Mary easily summoned the courage to broach an uncomfortable and intimate topic with her luncheon guest, simply by gripping her emotional support meddling cylinder.” –Charterstoned

“There’s something awfully sad about a penguin in a bellhop uniform. Like all penguins, he has a built-in tux, so I can only assume he got busted down to bellhop because he was a shockingly incompetent waiter.” –Peanut Gallery

“If it’s that cold, shouldn’t these birds fly south for the winter? I guess that’s harder when you’re old, obese, you have a desk cluttered with papers that need organizing, and your article on ‘The Colonel’s 11 Herbs and Spices: Revealed!’ is already a week past its deadline.” –BigTed

“Very considerate of the artist to put a photo of Archie on the wall in panel two so we know what he’s supposed to look like. He’s also in panel one, but getting bored and losing track of the cast between panels is a risk in Archie! I’m glad they can acknowledge it!” –Dan

“I like how Hi’s face looks almost panicked as he realizes that the groundhog’s prophesy has come to pass. ‘My god, he really has the gift. Let’s go to the zoo, I need to ask him how I will die.’” –pugfuggly

“Shouldn’t Mr. Andrews be more concerned that as Archie is turning in for the night, ‘#1 Mom’ is still in her housecoat, eating a piece of cheesecake with her bare hands?” –Guts Dozier

“Mary’s acquisition of a cat could not be better timed. Rarely has the feline’s gentle indifference to human emotional turmoil been more apt.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“No. Absolutely not. Dot and Ditto’s school 100% does not have a contract with actual, real-life Playbill. This is an elementary school, god damn it, the program for Twitter: The Musical! Watership Down, but Blue Nothing So Easy As A Chair consists of three black-and-white pages printed out on an ancient LaserJet and stapled hastily together by PTA parents, and the 20 that are on top of the stack are obviously coffee-stained — look, I’ve been around the school-theater block a few times, and that block does not have money or, in this case, a qualified spotlight operator.” –els

“Thelma and Louise, eat your hearts out! Oh? A buzzard already did? And there’s one circling in the sky even now?” –richardf8

“Nonono guys! ‘Red morning, lameass motel diner staff take warning!’ You guys are doomed, read a book!” –A Grave Mind

“If by ‘back up and running like it used to,’ you mean ‘no more using a baseball cap as a hair net,’ then I’m all for it.” –Weaselboy

“I’m a freak, I like doves but I’m a mammal/ I once got busy in a Rhymes With Orange panel” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“A bleak note of realism that late ’90s skaters, with their soul patches and backwards baseball caps, are still out there and now pushing 50. Look at that weathered face. That tragic grip on lost youth. That’s the lined, beaten, careworn visage of a man who has just realized that Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater came out closer to the Watergate scandal than the present day.” –Schroduck

“Did Bud Light pay to have their product featured, or did they fail to pay to have their product not featured?” –Basil Wishbone

“I’m waiting for the political ads inspired by this storyline. ‘The rich already have too much money. Now they’re stealing the jobs that you desperately need. Out of BOREDOM.’” –Victor Von

“I can’t believe I’m saying I want more Intelligent Life but I kind of want to see an extended storyline where this guy starts a GoFundMe saying ‘Hey, I’m in perfect health and my doctor’s charging me a fortune for not doing anything! Help me out!’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Let’s all hope for a ‘meet-cute’ with Mud and Mae Mae. I’m leaning towards a pot of coffee in his lap.” –Maltmash3r

“Ooh, is this a ‘spot the mistakes’ strip? 1. Doctor holding paper chart. 2. Doctor making eye contact. 3. Doctor having conversation with patient (unless he’s doing it to up-bill). 4. Male patient at a non-emergent appointment, seemingly of his own volition without a partner there to make sure he shows up and asks questions about ‘that thing on his neck.’ 5. Doc’s ‘stethoscope’ has no earpieces, two chest pieces. 6. Shifting wall color between panels. 7. That tie and shirt, with that skin tone? Doc, you’re probably a winter — that ensemble does nothing for you.” –Old School Allie Cat

“I feel like the weird, scraggly speech bubble from Luann’s Dad is supposed to be some cute little visual gag indicating that he’s about to go on some deranged slut-shaming rant about his wife’s sexual history. But I prefer to read it as him experiencing a massive stroke while his family is too stupid to notice.” –ectojazzmage

“Where is Glenwood, you ask? Glenwood is where men are men and are named Truck, Buck, and Mud, little missy.” –MKay

“I’d like to think that that last panel is completely unrelated to the main plot. No, it’s just a reminder that while this inane conversation is going on, there is real suffering out there in the world. Really puts it all in perspective.” –pugfuggly

“I dunno, Mud, it’s like the wall itself rejected your picture. And with extreme prejudice, too!” –Joe Blevins

“If only Barney Google could have warned him: Never get involved in a land war in Asia and never introduce hillbillies into your comic strip.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Brad may be overstating his case as usual, but he does have significantly more hair than he did a few years back. That counts as a monumental achievement in the world of Luann.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Neither of those are sentences. Look, I’m not normally pedantic about this kind of thing but you guys set up the rules for yourselves. I’ll accept that Luann’s mom considers ‘lover’ a legitimate phase in her career path. There’s obviously a lot we don’t know about her past — there’s a lot Luann’s dad doesn’t know about Luann’s mom’s past — and this could be a fun narrative framing device for that kind of reveal. But give us a goddamn verb.” –Stuart F

“You’re a plugger if a lifetime of working with your hands has turned them into twisted claws, which can barely use a touch-screen phone.” –Guts Dozier

“I call foul on Pluggers, they would never use A.I., or a smartphone, or go shopping with their wives.” –The Rambling Otter

“Not just oceans apart, Mary, but worlds apart! Goleta, California, is a real city in the real world, and Sharon has chosen to live there, away from the wholly imaginary Santa Royale, its dysfunctional denizens, and her thoroughly deluded dad. Leave her alone!” –Charterstone: Dune

“There’s so much going on here I can’t begin to figure it out. Why is he smiling while she’s grimacing? Why does she then smile while he grimaces? And are those pool cues in the background? I can accept that they both lost a bet on a pool match. The world of Mother Goose And Grimm is one where there are no winners.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Toby thinks ‘Maybe if I look to the right, Mary won’t know that I am secretly loving this!’ and Mary thinks, ‘Maybe if I look to the left, Toby won’t know that I’m secretly loving this!’” –TK

“Enough with the time out jokes! Let’s talk about how everyone in this strip has a supremely weird right ear!” –Ettorre

“‘Go out there and show them what you’re made of.’ ‘But, coach, we want to win!’” –But What Do I Know?

“Is it possible they could get married and incorporate? What kind of execrable wordplay could Ed make out of that? The possibilities make me tingle.” –Scratchy Scrotum LXIX

“This would be a great joke if there had been literally any mention of internet payment in the previous panel. Otherwise it’s just ‘Crankshaft pronounces Paul with a slightly more fronted mid-open vowel sound.’” –Schroduck

“While everyone else is smiling wryly, Crankshaft is angry. They did Peter so dirty!” –matt w

“The work/life balance issue is, for me, eclipsed by the hand/finger balance issue. Do pluggers have one hand with seven fingers, or two hands — one with three, one with four?” –Lurker Who Rarely Comments

“I honestly love that Shoe is still sticking it to Tip O’Neill in year of our bird lord 2026. He did like to hit the sauce, didn’t he! Ha ha, that’s probably why he’s been dead for over 30 years.” –Dan

“I’ll believe those two are actual Pluggers if they start ranting about chemtrails.” –Tonio

“Why is nobody at this pool party wearing swimsuits? And no I’m not asking to see Wilbur frolicking in a Speedo but an ascot seems like a little overdressed.” –Professor Well Actually

“Pluggers rarely pleasure themselves because they can’t stay awake long enough to find porn on their computers.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Dennis doesn’t know why they keep switching churches, but even he has noticed all the clergy are young attractive men and his dad is tired of his mom’s shit.” –Poewar

“Pluggers specifically avoid asking their doctors if they are still healthy enough for sexual activity.” –nescio

“Where else but a Charterstone pool party would three distinct extraterrestrial species wearing ill-fitting skin suits bump into each other? What a country!” –Charterstone: Dune

“Uh, correct, 1455 to 1487! Now, why did the War of the Roses occur? Who were the major leaders, and what significant military-political events can we point to as turning points in the conflict? What was the role of France? Come on, there’s cash prizes for you, and my A-Level exams are coming up. Cambridge, here I come!” –Voshkod

“Hi and Lois got its start in 1954. So if you consider normal, real world-style aging, a 73-year-old Trixie Flagston Mitchell van Pelt Yokum Doonesbury Arbuckle would be completely age-appropriate for our dapper gentleman here.” –BigTed

“I am not a fan of Jamaal’s sly look in that last panel. Is he getting off on Herb’s pain? Does he think we are too? Buddy, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy seeing your friend suffering, but I can assure you it’s not sexual.” –pugfuggly

“Oh, I’m not killing him. I just showed him the next three weeks of ‘plot’ in the strip!” –Bob Tice

“Well, April, I appreciate the breakout, but I don’t actually want to leave. The people you just killed were my mental health counselor, my job coach, the prison guard who brought me a donut every morning, and the warden I was having a civil conversation with. Norwegian prisons are incredibly lenient and nurturing. Or did you not know that, Little Miss CIA?” –Banana Jr. 6000

“‘I chose the stability of a boring normal job instead of the excitement and instability of the arts.’ ‘It’s a either/or choice?’ ‘Well, there was a way to combine boredom with uncertain artistic work in a dying industry. But someone else took up the job of drawing Luann!’” –Ettorre

“Daisy is enjoying watching the Bumsteads kiss WAY too damn much. Spay or neuter, people! Did Bob Barker live his live for NOTHING?” –A Grave Mind

“The difference between Dagwood and a machine is that Blondie has been given orgasms by a machine.” –Schroduck

“Those aren’t black pants. Those are censor bars.” –Chance

“I can’t wait to use this Worthian passive-aggressive gem. ‘It’s UNREAL how young you look, considering we’re the same age!’ ‘It’s UNREAL that you’ve decorated your entire home by yourself!’ It’s the big smile that carries it.” –MKay

“Competitive eating! Dagwood’s Olympic-style skills are in competitive eating! Do I have to do everything around here?” –matt w

“I like how Gina’s smirking as she breaks the fourth wall. There’s no ‘fight’ going on here, just she and Dennis making snowballs which Joey is throwing at a tree. And missing. From about a foot away. If she and Dennis do go after Joey it won’t be a fight. It’ll be a massacre.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid