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Starting the day off right — with your comment o’ the week:

“Leroy’s plan to dramatically self immolate by pouring a bowlful high proof alcohol over a lit barbecue, thereby ending himself in a way calculated to cause maximum inconvenience for Loretta, has been foiled. It’s not a happy relationship by any stretch, but at least they thwart each other’s more self destructive tendancies, even if it is only out of spite.” –BananaSam

And your runners up are very funny as well!

“You know, Dithers could have just emailed Dagwood the documentation instead of wasting money printing it and wasting time driving to his home. But I guess what drives his bad boss routine is not so much economic motivation but the thrill of domination.” –Ettorre

“Has Hi’s hair always had that fixed position, with his ‘front’ curls on the side even when he’s looking straight at us? I can only imagine that his head is rotating wildly while he’s reciting his ‘jokes,’ and it is this that Thirsty is so upset by.” –Laurence J Sinclair

“Who the hell says ‘piping hot fries’ outside of a radio commercial? Will this guy then suggest a ‘succulent hot apple pie’ to top things off? Perhaps ‘crisp and tasty’ chips from the vending machine for a late afternoon snack? Has Ed ever seen this guy before? He’s Satan, isn’t he?” –A Grave Mind

“OK, I get the joke after thinking about it. But it looks like the joke is that Heathcliff is a sick perverted voyeur who hangs around outside doctors’ offices to watch people get thermometers inserted into them. He’s a sick freak and I hope the Garbage Ape cancels him.” –Schroduck

“There’s also a standing joke about baristas humorously slaughtering customers’ names on the cups. So, Jamaal risked about a 50% chance of yelling out, ‘Have a nice day, Lurpy!’” –MKay

“This an oral thermometer. I am a veterinarian, as indicated by the abbreviated sign outside. You are the owner of an orange cat. That is an orange cat names Heathcliff. Look, ma’am, I’ll do this all day at $120 an hour, but I really don’t think your cat has reached the Symbolic function substage of Piaget’s theory of cognitive development, no matter what his fascination with flags might indicate.” –Voshkod

“Look at Chris’s expression again. It’s not the smug satisfaction that most characters get from malapropisms, or the honest confusion when Crankshaft thinks he’s using a real word. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and it disgusts her. Still, tortured wordplay is the only way she can connect with her father. I don’t know if she’s doing it for the inheritance or because she craves his acceptance, but she knows she has to go through with it.” –Nevin on Patreon

“I love how this strip doesn’t spare a single detail in this incredibly exciting tale. I mean, how exactly is Truck going to communicate with his son through that solid wood door? A buzzer? A text message? Ah, knocking: the tried and tested method. I feel like I’m really starting to get to know Truck as a character.” –pugfuggly

“There’s always something distressing about Marvin, but today I’m choosing to focus on this weird green surface that appears to be 7’x7′ and 4.5′ high and seems to exist solely to rest their child on, like some kind of reverse playpen that encourages falls.” –Conky, on BlueSky

“This is clearly a drug deal, right? Why else would a Chicken Lady with a basket full of unpurchased groceries be hunched over and handing the baggie of ‘prunes’ to a Dogbear Lady whose groceries are already bagged and paid for? ‘I think Trader Joe’s are great’ can only be a code phrase.” –Guts Dozier

“Dear, I have some bad news. Are you sitting down? I moved the landline to lowest bench in the house.” –Stop Motion Cyclops

“Truck’s only inheritance will be a small stake in a legal settlement from the AI companies that will steal his and other musicians copyrighted material, and most of that will go to paying off back rent at the hotel he is living and will die in.” –Philip

“Memo to ‘This End Up’ guy: STOP. VALIDATING. DAGWOOD. BUMSTEAD.” –matt w

“The more I look at Mr. Oversized Load, the more I worry about him. This isn’t a special occasion for him, he’s like that every day, just frozen, grinning and blank-eyed. Does Mr. Dithers pay him to guard the copier against illicit hoagie xeroxing? It doesn’t seem like much of a life, to be honest.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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As we move on into the weekend, let’s think about your achievements for the week, as well as places you may have fallen short. For instance, did you happen to say you couldn’t remember the name of a character in a comic, in a post right under a comic where they say that character’s name, right there in your blog in front of God and everybody? No? Well, I guess your week was fine then.

You know whose week was very fine? KevynOnVideo, responsible for this week’s comment … of the week:

“Of course MY is possessive! She’s completely dependent on her partner who has the only articulate arm and hand between the two of them. How will she eat or bathe herself? How will she call for assistance or operate the doorknob to leave the house, as he’s about to do? She was the love of his life, but now I is sentencing her to a slow death. Improbable as it may be, Grimm’s presence here for this scene is appropriate, as it’s very grim indeed.” –KevynOnVideo

And the very funny runners up had good weeks too!

“Leroy has just seen Sinners and is fantasizing about a world where he can transform Loretta into his obedient thrall, or at least keep her from entering his home without being invited.” –TheDiva

“And so they were saved by — oh, let’s say, Bizarro Wilbur.” –Liam

“If the animals every fully develop a civil legal system, some parrot is going to claim ownership due to their great-great-great grandfather being the pet of a peg-legged, eye-patched stereotype of a pirate. The real winners will be the attorneys on both sides, since billable hours are the real treasure.” –Philip

“Look, it’s one thing for the animals to overthrow the primary human government and establish their ostensibly-benevolent dictatorship. But to try to usurp the authority of the California Coastal Commission to manage the beaches and resources therein? Big mistake, animals. Do you have any conception of the number of forms and appeals and public hearings that you’ve just gotten yourself into?” –Dmsilev

“Oh, I’m sorry, Jonah. Have you ever considered that maybe you’re just not attractive enough for television, talented enough for the stage, connected enough to get into movies, or equipped properly for porn? What I’m saying is, have you considered podcasting?” –Voshkod

“‘What?’, says Wilbur. ‘The guy who showed strong emotional intelligence, who cared enough about a relative to track her down on the other side of the country, and who took control of a dangerous situation with confidence? No, he’s not familiar at all. I don’t know anyone like that.’” –Nevin, on Patreon

“Wilbur’s a little out of character here. Don’t get me wrong, I believe he’d be totally oblivious to the similarity between himself and Belle’s brother, but he would be more like, ‘Handsome fellow, wasn’t he? Chiseled jaw, powerful gaze. A little skinny, but nobody’s perfect.’” –Dan

“Pluggers never bought into that ‘Ten-and-Two’ bullshit. ‘Double-Twelve’ was good enough for my grandpappy and good enough for me!” –pugfuggly

“You think Stephen Bentley ever regrets making his two main characters so different in height? Poor old Herb. No wonder he maintains his constitutional right to silence if every time he talks, his speech bubble pushes his own head out of the panel.” –Schroduck

“I like to think that the car isn’t actually moving, but is sitting in a driveway/parking lot somewhere. Wilbur and Dawn are contemplating never getting out, except (possibly) for excretory functions.” –Pozzo

“‘You’re clueless!’ And I mean that literally. Belle left a defaced photo and at least two poisoned meals lying around, and somehow neither of you have found them yet.” –Banana Jr. 6000

“This strip takes place in the middle ages, when power imbalances between leaders and peasants were so extreme that they would extend to their family members, and apparently even their pets. Look at Snert, who, like Hagar, is wearing the horned helmet indicating that he, too, must be honored and feared. Meanwhile, Eddie’s nephew won’t even get to wear one of those upside-down funnel hats until he’s proved his worth by joining Hagar’s raiding parties for a decade or so, starting at age 11.” –BigTed

“Do the animals know about underpass height warnings yet? The little birdie will be okay, it’s the gorilla I’m worried for.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Critics disparage Dick Tracy for relying on the idea that Neo-Chicago’s grotesque villains wear their evil on their disfigured faces. However, it’s important to remember that it’s not entirely biased; Sam Ketchum is also very ugly.” –Victor Von

“These kids are walking and playing sports. We’ve seen Marvin talking with a speech bubble. That means they are bullying each other with telepathy and we should all be absolutely fucking terrified.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I enjoy how in an isolated community that probably can’t afford full time incarceration, the concept of ‘bail’ has evolved from a security payment that is repaid if accused cooperates, to a simple bribe. It’s taken as given that the accused will ‘flee,’ and everyone is fine with that. The Judge probably wouldn’t even remember what to do if Snuffy Smith actually showed up for his trial and forced everyone to go through the procedures of actual justice.” –AndyL

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Let’s roll into summer with the comment … of the week!

“I assume this is the same hardware store where Hi buys his hair fixatives.” –Joe Blevins

And the very funny runners up!

“God uses Excel to handle reams of complex data? That tracks. Strong Boomer energy. But what I want to know is what version of Excel he’s using. Are macros enabled? (Of course they are. Boomer energy.) With the right information, we can commit specific sins to serve as a data injection attack, wiping out God’s ledger and redeeming all our past transgressions.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“If you’re going to have an existential crisis, I suppose it’s better to do it while spending the day riding horses at your gorgeous family ranch, and not, say, while waiting tables, or digging ditches, or coding backgrounds for an addictive phone game while counting the hours until AI takes your job. Oh, wait, they had to bring the horses from the next ranch over? Never mind, their lives suck too!” –BigTed

“With no prior knowledge of this strip, I can only assume it takes place in some dystopian future where the entire concept of fictional entertainment is an obscure novelty, and where any form of verbal dissent is harshly punished. Hearing his friend use the word ‘unneat’ is enough to make Skip perspire in terror.” –Guts Dozier

“What Wilbur and Dawn don’t know is that Mary has been feeding them small doses of poison in her muffins and beige squares for years, in order to build up their immunity. It was to prevent them from committing suicide caused by her meddling (which is why she had to flee to Santa Royale to begin with). This is, of course, something she learned from watching The Princess Bride, another classic film neither Wilbur nor Dawn have ever watched.” –Philip

“This a nice change of pace from ‘Andy is a alcoholic’ to ‘Andy is clinically depressed.’” –Ettorre

“We did it! We caught the ball, even in the face of increasing Dutch angles!” –pugfuggly

“I like the guy with the black hair in the white button-down shirt. Everyone else is celebrating but he’s just mildly pleased, as if he’s the only one who remembers that this is just the end of another mediocre Milford soccer season and there’s no point getting all worked up about it.” –TheDiva

“How long do you think the writer spent reading Wikipedia articles about fish genitalia with increasing horror before settling on ‘suck fin?’” –Schroduck

“I actually did not know there was another Avatar movie coming out this year and I can’t imagine a worse way I could have learnt about it than this.” –Veronica

“Dennis takes his hand off the switchblade in his back pocket. This middle-aged fool just gave him the perfect opening for some finely crafted verbal menacing. ‘A bachelor,’ he exclaims. Checkmate.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The Sideburns of Near-Fame have been passed to an heir! All hail the new King of shaggy mediocrity!” –Wilktoast

“The Mormon missionaries at the door don’t know what’s coming. I hope they’re prayed up and ready to confront the demoness inside.” –Daisy

“MELP MELP cries Sweetie. MUSTACHE HELP, GET MUSTACHE HELP. Sadly, like most therapy dogs, her advice will go unheeded.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I love the way Belle is staring right at that onomatopoeia box so it makes it look like she’s cursing directly at it. ‘MELP MELP’ is better, but the artwork gives ‘DING DONG’ the edge in today’s onomatopoeia wars.” –Astroboy

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!