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It’s time for your top comment of the week!

“That is not the way invasive species work. That is not the way ecology works. But most of all, that is not the outfit to wear on a forest inspection, Princess Pussycat! Seriously, do you wear that floor-length robe 24/7? Please, have more confidence in your vast regal powers and go ahead and don casual gear when the occasion warrants. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown and never ever takes it off.” –Poteet

Your runners up are also hilarious!

“‘Do you want to hear what I’m going to do next summer?‘ Margaret asks during the first week of November. Who’s the real menace?” –Westing1992

“Wilbur is so drunk that he managed to stutter in a thought bubble.” –Noel

“Dagwood’s plan is just two headlines and Windows 95 clip art. Maybe Dithers is right to treat him so badly.” –Ettorre

“Wilbur is literally devolving before our very eyes. He’s been getting shorter and uglier, and now he’s starting to turn into a character from a differently drawn comic strip genre altogether. I’m guessing workplace humor, but I wouldn’t rule out funny animal or talking baby.” –T.H. Steady

“I like Daisy’s wide-eyed reaction in Panel 1. ‘Facial recognition system? Is our beloved legacy comic strip now going to be exploring social implications of omnipresent monitoring technology and how modern-day fears of one another in a polarized society could lead to the creation of a police state, run by a massive AI that constantly collects data on everyone and uses that information to subjugate us to the wishes of some technocratic overlords? Is Blondie finally becoming… relevant???’ Then in Panel 2 Dagwood proposes his idea, and Daisy thinks ‘Whew, had me worried there for a minute!’, and goes back to sleep.” –seismic-2

“I’m a little concerned that Estelle and Iris’s reaction to Wilbur’s public drunkenness is mild resignation. Do you want to end up like Loretta Lockhorn, ladies? Because this is how you end up like Loretta Lockhorn.” –TheDiva

“Just before Wilbur picked up the bottle last week I was wondering if they’d ever address the fragility of ego he must have to maintain such a terrible combover in 20-dang-19, and WELP” –Skeleton Munroe, on Twitter

“It’s kind of adorable that Snuffy and Silas are completely jaded by America’s political system yet still innocent enough to think that a ‘hunnert‘ constitutes a proper bribe. C’mon guys, most senators won’t take your call until you’ve funneled 100k through a PAC and gotten their nephew a corporate vice president gig.” –pugfuggly

“Yes, Zak’s facial expression is great, but take a peek at Estelle. Sure, it’s a look of shame, but not for the reason you think. She’s been out with so many horrific Silverdaters, it’s now developed into a kink for her. ‘Oh yeah. That’s it, Wilbur. Mock him. Mock his tofu order, right after straight-up trying to order a goddamned Mayo Lassi. When you end up face-down in your spice-level-ten Panang Curry, I’ll drive home alone and replay the carnage over and over again in my mind.’” –Carsick Yankee

“Confessing to murder is a pretty shocking way to change the topic of conversation, but life in prison is certainly preferable to listening to Les Moore talk about Dead Lisa.” –jroggs

“We’re ready to order. First, let’s do a plate of phallic symbols, to share. By sharing, I mean we’ll each stick them whole into Wilbur’s mouth, one by one by one.” –Phil A. Sheo

“Bull had a solo car date … with death!” –Sir Bagby”

“I’ve always admired the way the denizens of Hootin’ Holler let their tongues flop out of their mouths when someone tells them a joke. And by ‘admired,’ I mean ‘realized there is no point in being repulsed by a standardized drawing in a comic strip.'” –Randy

“Which would you rather have: a funny cartoon? Or, this?” –Hägar’s Horny Hat

“This guy doesn’t have to whip himself into shape — all he really needs is a guitar. The disappointed girlfriend will come along naturally.” –BigTed

“Okay, unless Wilbur gets decked tomorrow, I guess we’re in for another week of this dinner. Fine by me — I won’t be satisfied until something really socially transgressive occurs. A bunch of people have predicted vomiting, but I’m hoping for whiskey-scented diarrhea.” –Zla’od

“Dennis looks nonplussed. Here he was, all set to be served tea — to show the women that the only way to calm his menacing is to accept a place of doting servitude, thereby reinforcing the secretly greater menace of inescapable patriarchal gender roles — and all of a sudden this girl is making things about urban vs. suburban politics instead. It looks like he’ll have to do some reading before he can deal with her properly!” –pachoo

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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What’s that, you say? Another in a continuing series of Josh’s beloved live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening THIS VERY POST-HALLOWEEN EVE, TONIGHT? Yes, a thousand times yes!

Here’s the Facebook event! We’re gonna be talking about male Insta Inspo, game dev drama, how the Holocaust stacks up against popular tourist destinations, and more!

And now: your comment … of the week!

“‘YESSS!!!’ Dagwood screams, lunging forward as Dithers inadvertently stands himself in the exact right spot at the window, directly above the food truck’s open sunroof. A few minutes later, Dagwood will be biting into a sandwich of the forbidden meat, the one meat those pesky regulations had stopped him from eating, as the office staff start wondering where their boss has gone.” –Schroduck

And your very funny runners up!

“It looks like some charitable organization dropped off a few used toys for the kids who get locked out of the house while Daddy watches his program. The one standing in the middle of the lawn with a skateboard is going to be quite delighted if he ever figures out what it’s really used for.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I see Jeffy’s the only one concerned enough about his health to bother wearing a woolen hat on this brisk autumn day. No seasonal head colds for him. God, can you imagine having a head cold with a noggin that size?” –Joe Blevins

“The lack of an Oxford comma is the plugger-specific content.” –Mark Jackson

“Maybe we’re finished with the section on how pluggers are different from us, and are now considering the ways they are alike and face the same problems. I don’t know how to feel about moving on without noting the very important difference that they are actually bears, dogs, chickens, kangaroos, and so on. Maybe they’re saving that for a third section, on how these different varieties coexist and reproduce? You will have to watch out for that! I’ll be reading anything else.” –pachoo

“‘I can’t imagine what she thinks when she compares me to him.’ Due to a weird angle in the drawing, it looks like Wilbur is smiling in real life, but frowning in the reflection. I like to think that Wilbur is feigning confidence and optimism — ‘how could he compare to me, a man of experience and refined taste!’ — but his subconscious is like, ‘I can’t imagine what she thinks when comparing us because if I actually thought about it I would lose the last fragment of my will to live.’” –Ettorre

“Every time Wilbur refers to Zak it’s ‘stud‘ or ‘boytoy’ or something else explicitly sexual, which at first I thought was a deliberate attempt to be hurtful towards Iris, but now we see he’s still doing it privately in his own thoughts. It’s the ‘not sure if you should feel contempt or pity for this guy but I suppose you can do both’ Wilbur Weston sweet spot.” –Dan

“She knows the routine. Every day, as soon as she walks in the door, he feeds her a spoonful of the magical potion that makes her forget everything she saw in the outside world. Pomeranians, Halloween costumes, husbands who aren’t assholes… everything. And he’s safe again, until tomorrow.” –Peanut Gallery

“Potato chips, peanut butter, The MacAllan 12: yep, the bachelor math checks out.” –pastordan

“I’m not exactly sure why Mr. Wilson’s Dennis cosplay horrified me so much this morning. Maybe it’s Mr. Wilson’s weird obsession with the neighbor boy. Maybe I’m still groggy from sleep. Or maybe it’s because it comes right out and says that Dennis never changes his clothes, everyone knows it, and no one dares talk about it.” –Larry McAwful

“So … we’re not going to see Chance punching Chet’s bearded face like a high school Mark Trail? Then what’s the point?” –TheDiva

“Chance refers to his emotional outbursts as ‘Mr. Blowtop’ while the wind BLOWS through the hair on TOP of their heads. That’s … that’s not how symbolism or allusion works. That’s not how any of this works.” –Brad

“I like how the middle lady is checking her phone in the last panel. The BFF contract is not just some turn of phrase, it’s something that these three hammered out with a lawyer before cementing their friendship. They keep a PDF version on their phones just to refer to every time there is request for transactional kindness. ‘A pick up at the airport? Let’s see… 16 BFF § 5p clearly states that this is valid on weekends and holidays but that weeknight requests are to be abrought to the council…’” –pugfuggly

“‘You should try this new cereal.’ ‘I guess so. It’s kind of weird that I got an empty bowl and brought it over to the table otherwise.’” –jroggs

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

Post Content

What’s that, you say? Another in a continuing series of Josh’s beloved live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening one short week from today? Yes, a thousand times yes!

Here’s the Facebook event! We’re gonna be talking about male Insta Inspo, game dev drama, how the Holocaust stacks up against popular tourist destinations, and more!

And now: your comment … of the week!

“Look, Chet, it’s quite simple: Chance is our misunderstood teen protagonist, and you’re an interfering busybody adult named ‘Chet’ of all things. You’re not going to win this one.” –TheDiva

Your runners up are also very funny!

“If you want to know how a zombie strip works, look at today Mary Worth. The comic is trying to borrow gravitas from John Lennon, who, despite being dead, is actually two years younger than the Mary Worth strip.” –Ettorre

“So a quick search on Twitter shows that no person or corporation related to Gasoline Alley used this hashtag on their own account on the day it ran. Way to put in less than the minimum effort.” –Glires

“A hundred and one years next month? So the Armistice is signed, the Great War grinds to a halt — and then Gasoline Alley? No wonder the twentieth century was so screwed up.” –Schrödinger’s Droopy

“Gasoline Alley has hashtags, ‘Dummies’ books, the Beverly Hillbillies, the Dumont network, and Three Blind Mice. Are they trying to reference every decade they’ve existed?” –Banana Jr. 6000

I see this Dennis the Menace as even more menacing: ‘I’ve painted a portrait of you, but a better you. A more rebellious you. Dare I say, a more attractive you. I gaze at it in secret — heretofore I haven’t let anyone else see it, especially not my mother, who would destroy it. But I’m letting you see it. Because I want you to take a long hard think about who you could be. [Dennis dramatically rolls the painted shade back up] Now get the fuck out of my room.’” –Ben Ferber

“Pretty sure the sign says ‘Halloween Canceled.’ Any kind of revelry would be dangerously exciting for the people of Santa Royale.” –Alex Parker-Spencer-Driver

“Les angrily responding, ‘hero and artist.’” –Dan

“Is that Wilbur? The man who lives next door to me and shares the same group of friends as me? Yikes, what a surprise running into him of all people!” –jroggs

“One thing I have to respect about these two characters: they look about as bored about being in this strip as I am reading it.” –pugfuggly

“As it is everywhere, the correctional facility is solid, regardless of how shabby and deteriorated the surrounding environment: strong steel framing held in place with solid, well-spaced bolts, etc. Could use about twice as many bars, to keep inmates from walking out, but that’s a design problem, not a materials problem.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I don’t want Chet Ballard sexytimes in Gil Thorp, but the narration box for a sports strip should at least try for some awful baseball-themed wordplay. ‘Having struck out with his wife… Chet Ballard pinch-hits with an ally on the school board!’ ‘Having struck out with his wife… Chet Ballard argues about the strike zone with an ally on the school board, who ejects him in humiliating fashion!’ Work with me, narration box!” –matt w

“My advice to you is M.Y.O.B. Mind Your Own Bottle. Because this one is mine, and I need it to get through meetings with idiots like you and Thorp. Ah, sweet booze, carry me away from Milford.” –Voshkod

“How long do you think Wilbur has spent longingly gazing at that shampoo display?” –Schroduck

“When were you planning to go? I want to make sure Zak reserves the entire restaurant for that day, so you’ll be turned away when you arrive and be very embarrassed in front of your girlfriend! I may also have him hire some little kid to come up and knee you in the groin; I haven’t decided yet.” –JJ48

“With Mopey Pete writing the script, Darin drawing the storyboards, Jessica shooting the movie with a hand-held VHS camera, Mason Jarre hamming it up as Les, Marianne ‘I should have jumped off the Hollywood sign’ Winters as Lisa, and Les himself as the guiding spirit behind the production, this cancer movie should be titled Terms of Endullment.” –seismic-2

“Mary Worth proves that it truly deserves its place on the morning funny papers the only way it can: by reminding its geriatric readers to get their flu shots this year.” –pastordan

“Lisa’s story needs to be told the right way … in Esperanto, the universal language. I will absolutely not budge on this issue. ?u ni havas interkonsenton?” –Joe Blevins

“A double date? I have to check with Zak … We might be scheduled for sex at that time! We usually are!” –Thelonious_Nick

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!