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This week’s top comment is here for your enjoyment!

“I don’t like to think of dogs as little humans but that‘s exactly my dog’s response when I return after being out for a couple of hours.” –Northernlurker

The runners up are also quite funny!

“This strip would be infinitely better if the sign-off panel also showed Hugo sipping a margarita on the plane, fresh into negging a frumpy English university student. When she asks why he’s not drinking wine he lectures her on how it’s not REALLY wine if it’s not from Bordeaux.” –Anna Carlsson, on Twitter

“There are so very many things that Dawn should definitely regret.” –Rosstifer

“At least Dawn has learned some new skills from her relationship with Hugo. She’s picked up some French, and also learned to condescendingly translate French for American audiences, including her own subconscious.” –Constance Justice

“Meat, fish, wines from Normandy — if not Sicily. Hagar knows that he has to practice conspicuous consumption to awe his subordinates with his wealth.” –Ettorre

“I like the idea of someone throwing bouquets to the mourners while the pallbearers carry the deceased off to his final reward, as onlookers try to make the snap decision of whether they should reach out and grab the pretty flowers or dodge the harbingers of morality. But I love the idea that such bouquets come wrapped in skull-crunching clay pots filled with dirt.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“The bird-men of Shoe aren’t glum because one of them caught the harbinger of death. They’re glum because they know they will never die. This isn’t one of those other strips, where the writer will occasionally end a character’s suffering. They’re trapped forever in this heavy-lidded, trash-strewn existence, where the outdated Treetops Tattler is constantly on the verge of collapse, and with it the entire grill- and fern bar-based economy. Who was Old Man Perkins anyway? It didn’t matter, it was just an excuse to dream of a way out. Those flowers are damaged because they were fought over.” –Banana Jr. 6000

“The eight part miniseries on Netflix’s the thing/ Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the Deputy Director for Operations.” –Voshkod

“So, April is a CIA operative who thinks Hollywood produces super-accurate biopics, huh?” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“How nice, Mommy gives Trixie a kiss on the forehead as she walks by! (Daddy just smiles while ignoring her completely.) Anyway, enjoy sitting by yourself on the empty floor all day!” –BigTed

“Obviously the classic Six Chix art is obscuring the joke, but… he’s wearing his mother strapped to his back, right? And she’s about two feet tall, easily 80 years old, and literally a bluestocking? And the punchline is that he plans to feed her — his own mother — cheap wine from a baby cup? I haven’t seen such Oedipal hijinks since Momma ended.” –Schroduck

“Loving the look of cold detachment on PJ’s face. ‘Ah, I understand: stop the beep, kill the man. Another piece of my plan falls into place.’” –pugfuggly

“A plugger’s pharmacist is someone who thinks ‘HIPAA’ is someone who attended the original ‘Waadstaack.’” –Where’s Rocky?

“Plus citizens of Kathmandu are known for scrupulous honesty. Most cities boasting populations over 985,000 would round that up to a million. Not us!” –FE

“Look at the terror in that poor bastard’s eyes! So mom’s lumbago is back? But she died three years ago!” –Mumblix_Grumph

“So now the poor kid has to stay in Vegas for the rest of its life. Sorry, but those are the rules!” –Peanut Gallery

“Yeah, there’s nothing like remembering the 60s by wearing an uncomfortable, impractical outfit for housework when you’re already clinging to gender norms from the same era by being the only one who cleans the house.” –Truckosaurus

“‘Women choose their sexual partners on the basis of quantified athletic performance‘ certainly sounds like something men assume is true, but it might be worth running that idea past an actual woman.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“Chance Macy is reading A User’s Guide to Sitting in Chairs. You can see he needs it.” –Joe Blevins

“Ma Chouchoute! I think I left it here, maybe in the bathroom.” –FritzHolz

“Honest to God. We were told that the talking chimp killed the actress out of jealousy in one panel, without ever having been told what there was to be jealous about, or WHY THE GODDAMN CHIMP COULD TALK, but it takes an entire week to read a letter.” –Rube

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Try not to be too spooked by the calendar to enjoy today’s comment … of the week.

“I’d be downright annoyed if my naturalist husband thought I still believed in cryptozoology after listening to his lectures for 12,943 days straight, but Cherry looks downright worried. Maybe that’s because Mark is an emotionless void and she lives in terror of his unpredictably flat affect, not knowing whether the next words out of his mouth will be ‘I know, honey, I’m just trying to lighten the mood‘ or ‘divorce.’ But I prefer to think this is less about her and Mark and more about her and yetis. ‘I’m not worried whether yetis are real or not,’ she says, her hands unconsciously tracing the curves of her blouse, much as white-furred, larger yet gentle hands had done, during one of Mark’s two-week expeditions that somehow lasted around seven months. ‘Ha ha ha, abominable snowmen, the stuff of cartoon movies! Who would BELIEVE such things? NOT ME, CERTAINLY!’” –T Campbell

The runners up? Also very funny this week!

“I think the flashback is supposed to be the night she got pregnant: ‘Italian food would be a bit too exciting for my aching stomach, but sex with you should be all right.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Beautiful thoughts, Trixie. Meanwhile, next door, Thirsty is drunk again.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“This strip is as on fleek as that mom’s bandanna. That’s something the kids say, right? Means stiffly-starched?” –pastordan

“‘Where they stay until they expire?’ If I know even one thing about pluggers (i.e., too much), it’s that their love for playing by the rules is far behind their love for bargains and giving minimum wage-earning cashiers grief.” –Irrischano

“[Coroner in a month]: ‘Cause of death: Sui-Tide™.’ [smirks] ‘Get it?’” –Foodar

“Here’s hoping that other cartoonists will join Batuik in raising awareness of CTE, by having one character in each of their strips bludgeoned to death. Maybe let the readers vote?” –Zla’od

“Wotsamatta U is meant to sound like Whatsa Matter You, which is kind of a dialect, maybe Italian. It means, What’s The Matter With You? Get it? Get it? No, I don’t mean I think you’ve got anything wrong with you. It’s just a joke. Geez. What are you, Italian or something? Don’t be so thin skinned.” –Only Here For The Ads

“I like that this joke is delicately balanced on three premises: (1) babies compete with each other in organized contests (2) babies can choose the foods that they will have access to and (3) babies have made the important link between diet and gastrointestinal performance, and use this information to strategize! It’s the kind of thing you could only come up with by the standard Marvin joke method: start with the punchline ‘POOP’ and work backwards.” –pugfuggly

“Do plugger cats come running to the sound of the can opener? Do they sometimes, shamefully, turn on the can opener just to feel something?” –Voshkod

“Sorry, can you rage a little harder as you insist you don’t have a drug problem? That will make it even more convincing!” –BigTed

“So, Henry’s got a photo album full of muscle fetish porn. Meanwhile, Alice is snickering in the background because Henry doesn’t know about her weekly nooners at the gym. Suddenly, Dennis is the least menacing member of this household.” –jvwalt

“It’s ironic, because it struck the North Face of the fort.” –Pozzo

“Dawn is being approached by a stranger with disfiguring scars? Looks like she’s about to learn an important lesson about, um … something.” –Noel

“This cannonball brought to you courtesy of Grumman Allied Industries, Inc. ‘When you think big balls, think Grumman.’ Have a great day, enemy combatant.” –Maude R. Fawker

“Mermaids don’t have shells the way snails do. When they are little, they live in them like hermit crabs to avoid predators. This lasts until they are grown enough to overcome their shyness and go lure sailors to their deaths, at which point they can start living in the wrecked hulls of ships instead. Lucky Eddy would know all this if he were able to read.” –pachoo

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• PicturePunches: Join our community of funny memers who like to earn from their sense of humor.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Folks: it’s the Friday of the month, and you know what that means: my live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening Los Angeles!

It’s a great batch of performers this month, so definitely you should come out and watch us!

Also, apologies that I’ve gotten behind this week in thanking everyone who donated to the pledge drive — you’re gonna get those thank-yous this weekend, promised!

And finally, it wouldn’t be the weekend starting off right without a comment of the week!

“I’ve seen flaming drinks like Bill Ellis is holding, but damn, never handled so casually.” –Downpuppy

Your runners up? Also hilarious.

“I swear to Christ that guy dropping two little French bits in the conversation to remind the reader he’s French is killing me. I was less annoyed and instinctively repulsed when I walked into a spider web a couple of nights ago.” –toxic

“Also, mon cherie, there is the French law that requires me to change my phone number and email address after returning from abroad. Quelle tragedie!” –Francisco Arrowroot

“House-painting visas are notoriously tricky, not to mention real, this probably isn’t a line to blow her off or anything.” –Dan

“For a whirlwind romance this is awfully slow moving.” –Northernlurker

“If they both love the USA and France too much, maybe they can find a compromise solution in the middle. Louisiana? Quebec? A NATO base in Wallonia? 1951 movie An American in Paris? The hashtag #Amélie on Pinterest?” –Ettorre

“The nurse is going to need to put him under general anesthesia in order to remove his hat.” –Rusty

“Yeah, Toast Oakwood! Finally the Milford High Young Sommeliers Club gets to bust out their tasting-note puns!” –pugfuggly

“I see that air traffic control at Santa Royale International Airport consists of pasting silhouettes of airplanes on the windows so other airplanes see the cut-outs and don’t crash through the glass.” –Voshkod

“Because it’s Marvin, all I can think about is the kind of violent shit a dinner of microwave Salisbury steak and chicken parm would cause.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“I doubt your single days were all that great. With those looks, you couldn’t get laid at a nymphomaniacs’ convention. And your personality! Ha ha! Forget about it!” –Peanut Gallery

“Look, I just want to tell people I have a boyfriend in Paris. Can you give me that much? Because I’m going to anyway.” –BigTed

“I always pegged Alex(ander) as being a rather milquetoast conformist, but I have to give him credit: kicking in a TV screen and keeping your foot inside is extremely badass.” –Irrischano

“What kind of video games are we talking about here? Are we talking about full-priced retail games, which would put that elegant-looking dress at a fairly modest price of $180? Or are we talking about ‘free-to-play’ games, which can quickly empty people’s entire bank accounts and ruin their lives through predatory microtransactions?” –jroggs

“Ahhhh, the $2.99 distraction. Dawn will be in the Denver airport before she realizes that he’s pulled the ol’ ‘airport switcheroo’ and sent her off on a plane. But she’ll always have her lovely keepsake, if the cleaning crew can find where it fell off before they vacuum it up.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I wish I could love anything as much as middle-aged dude cartoonists love drawing young women.” –lorne

“If Dawn can be so easily bought off with beads and trinkets, see what she’ll take for her dad’s condo.” –Guillermo el Chiclero

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• PicturePunches: Join our community of funny memers who like to earn from their sense of humor.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!