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Folks, it’s Friday, so enjoy your comment of the week:

“From the look on Saul’s face and the way Greta snapped free of her leash, leaving the now-loose strand floating in the air, and is fleeing in unfocused, abject terror, I’d say Saul and Greta were greeted by Bella’s ghost image shimmering and electrically popping in the TV screen. ‘WHAT CUR DARES WEAR THE BOW TIE!?!’” –Deacon Blues

And enjoy your runners up!

“Consistency is the Amazing Spider-Man‘s greatest foe. I’ll grudgingly forgive the creators of this strip for forgetting Colleen had a sword strapped to her back last we saw her a few weeks ago, but I’m frankly troubled that we see Colleen walking forlornly away from the ruins of the Mammon Theater while Spider-Man looks despairingly in the exact opposite direction at the ruins of the Mammon Theater.” –jroggs

“Mrs Wilson is clearly not actually listening. ‘What’s so bad about that’ she asks as her husband tells her, with completely justified fury, that a 5-year old stole money from his wallet. It’s going to take her a month to notice when her husband dies from a Dennis-related heart attack.” –Rosstifer

“Big day for rejecting the idolatry of money: Mr. Wilson is learning that the power of capital is enforced only by collective arbitrary agreement that one piece of paper has worth and another doesn’t, and Peter is literally destroying a building called Mammon. Hoping tomorrow’s funnies bring us Marvin shitting on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.” –Dan

“Danny! You’re all right! And still a giant dick! I’m so … glad?” –Brutus Jay

“‘They’re just meat! Just plain, old, ordinary, disgusting flesh and blood, like you and me! There’s nothing special about them! They’re not magic!’ —Isabella Bannerman, while being dragged away in handcuffs from outside Buckingham Palace” –Joe Blevins

“Curtis continues, ‘Local kid uses newscaster syntax. The dosage on his meds: Better check it.’ But his words only echo in an empty house.” –Peanut Gallery

“Who do you think you’re fooling, Greg? You’re going out to buy a pack of cigarettes and you know it. If ever there was a time for smoking, this is it.” –made of wince

“Everything is moving along as planned. If you failed to notice, don’t worry: the glacial pace of this storyline is not perceptible to the naked eye. But if you compare our position with the beginning of this comic strip in the 1930s, you’ll notice some distinct changes.” –Ettore

“Greta still looks nervous, as she should. Saul appears to be adding a little chicken for flavor to a bowl of food made out of good dogs. Soon, it will be her turn. At least she’ll have the honor of being eaten from a bowl with her own name on it.” –pastordan

“Here’s a fun fact: thanks to a privileged lifestyle that actively discourages empathy, the Parkers don’t really have a facial expression that corresponds to ‘sorry.’ The best they can do is a kind of mix of ‘angry’ and ‘concerned’ that just makes it look like they’re slightly constipated.” –pugfuggly

“For the last time, we’re not sketchy; we’re stupid.” –JJ48

“Understandable, since the room’s function is completely mysterious. ‘What am I in here for? Is this a living room? A foyer? A very sparsely populated conservatory? HELP!’” –TheDiva

“I’d like to believe that Peter has purchased a set of Spider-Man pajamas from some big-box store that isn’t giving him any royalties, and that upon returning to his apartment he unironically changes out of his spider-suit and into his Spider-Man pajamas to lounge around the house just because he imagines his plainclothes self as being a big Spider-Man fan.” –Glires

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Banana Triangle: Poor Tom and Scotty and Rosemary, lost on an island somewhere in the sea. Frightened and desperate, hungry as could be, devoured each other; problem solved — one, two, three! A webcomic updated thrice weekly.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Hello everybody! This is your monthly reminder that if you’re in LA, you should always come to my beloved comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, on the first Friday of every month, which is today! I’ve been granted an extra half hour in my theater time slot, which means I can now pack in more funny people serving up more World Wide Web-themed laffs!

You want a Facebook event? Here’s a darn Facebook event! See you there!

And now: your COTW!

“In a plugger’s mind, female schoolmates are linked with ‘drilling a hole,’ if you know what I mean! (I mean that pluggers did not receive sex-ed, so when they got their girlfriend pregnant at 16, they had to leave school and work as a handyman to support their new family.)” –Ettore

And your runners up! Very funny!

“So God doesn’t intend for you to play golf, but you’re golfing anyway? In blatant defiance of His will? On a Sunday yet? Bold. I like it.” –Joe Blevins

“The Bird-Bible of the Shoe world is an old paperback copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull that somebody left lying on a park bench. But the hard-drinking, middle-aged main characters consider that book to be hippie liberal claptrap, so instead they pray to the images they found on the cover of a VHS tape of Dorf on Golf.” –BigTed

“Well, obviously, Crock takes place in a world where the Axis was victorious. Have a little faith in the cartoonist, man! In the Crockoverse, the Germans and the Japanese have divided America, and the Vichy government was given the Sonoran desert as a reward. Morocco or Mexico, Paris or Berlin, it’s all the same for the Legion. They’ll just follow orders. Welcome to the world of The Man in the Poorly-Drawn Castle.” –Voshkod

“Where is Eddie? Or more specifically, when? He’s in a restaurant with tablecloths and glasses in a universe where slinky black evening dresses exist, and yet he still insists on wearing that funnel on his head. He’s keeping a death grip on his date’s hand so he doesn’t fall backwards into the timestream.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“I think Spidey is just going to pull his mask halfway up to his nose to show Iron Fist how stupid that looks.” –Lorne

“You’d be terrified of your barber too, if he’d been giving you that haircut for decades.” –Where’s Rocky

“My deadtree paper runs Crankshaft in black and white, so for the last two days I’ve thought less Freddy Krueger and more ‘fat Hamburglar.’” –Dr. Larry Erhardt

“I really like how Iron Fist is desperate not to get himself involved in Spider-Man’s personal life, like at all.” –pugfuggly

“I’m sure glad Bella would be proud and grateful, Mary! The entirety of one’s life should be lived out based on what sort of human emotions one can imagine his actions provoking in the spirit of his dead dog! This feels completely healthy, both emotionally and mentally!” –JJ48

“What kid of Billy’s age would ever call them anything except ‘little swords’? Probably Thel didn’t want to explain, ‘Those aren’t stirrers, they’re inserted through the olives in those drinks that cause Daddy to pass out on the couch.’” –lumaca morente

“That’s just the tornado siren … they test it every now and then. Like, at random times, without warning anyone. We’ve all gotten used to ignoring it, as is the correct response to a siren. Say, you don’t have some psychological condition making that hard for you to do? Ha … I hope not. You’d have to move. This town is not a place for the weak, it’s a place where people get killed by tornadoes they didn’t prepare for.” –pachoo

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Banana Triangle: Poor Tom and Scotty and Rosemary, lost on an island somewhere in the sea. Frightened and desperate, hungry as could be, devoured each other; problem solved — one, two, three! A webcomic updated thrice weekly.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Hello everybody! This is your monthly reminder that if you’re in LA, you should always come to my beloved comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, on the first Friday of every month month, which this coming month is on November 2nd! I’ve been granted an extra half hour in my theater time slot, which means I can now pack in more funny people serving up more World Wide Web-themed laffs!

You want a Facebook event? Here’s a darn Facebook event! See you there!

Meanwhile, here, you can see the week’s top comment!

“Roasted brussels sprouts have actually become a popular food item in hipster bars, so in addition to being bullied, that little sprout is likely to be chewed up by some guy with a fedora and a web series.” –Jenna

And the very hilarious runners up!

“Kingpin reads the throwaway panels.” –JJ48

“Look at that George Wilson, showing off with his fancy two-story house and his solid gold garbage cans! I’m glad he’s in a loveless marriage!” –Joe Blevins

“The expression on Jenny’s face tells me that she’s looking at this morning’s schedule and just realized how much coffee she’s had.” –pugfuggly

“Happy fish being scarfing worms from the dock … terrified fish carried off by a gull … fish skeleton resting in a puddle … Slylock Fox is a Renaissance allegorical painting, except for cartoon fish.” –matt w

“I feel that we need to ask just what that crab thinks it is doing pulling up Max’s tail with one claw and gesturing suggestively with the other. #MaxToo” –Dmsilev

“I choose to believe that is Miss Kandikane’s deformed tongue, and will not be dissuaded by any argument.” –RexDartEskimoPi, on Twitter

“Looks like Dick will finally learn where babies come from. If his health teacher were alive today instead of a bullet riddled corpse buried coincidentally when Dick was a student in middle school, he’d be proud.” –Foodar

“The silhouette of the bus driver in Crankshaft has horns, and he’s driving Bus 0013. This is Crankshaft’s ironic afterlife, a Sisyphean torture of trying to drive up Mockaman’s Hill. It’s right there in the name — Mock A Man Hill — the demons mock Crankshaft by letting him nearly crest the hill before the bus slides right back to the bottom. The children get hungrier and louder in the back because they just want to get home. Crankshaft’s hands grow tired on the wheel, his feet split from the effort of pushing the accelerator. The top of Mockaman’s Hill is in sight and the wheels start to scream like the children and the bus slides all the way back to the bottom and the children in the back get hungrier and louder because they just want to get home and he guns the engine again, the squeal of fraying belts sounds like the cacophonous laughter of demons.” –Voshkod

“You can just see the wheels spinning in Mary’s mind: ‘So maybe I can get Saul to be mentally broken and completely submissive, and then be ready to open up, just by confining him in a cage for a year? I’ll have Carlos Alora go buy some wire, today!’” –seismic-2

“These kids range in age from about 4 to 6. Should they really be the ones responsible for fighting bullying? Where are the adults? The cops? The PTA? The older retired guy who was probably in the military at some time? In any normal community, violence against kindergarteners would be considered a serious problem. But happy unity day, everyone!” –BigTed

“Oh, man, are we going to find out that the nonstop promises to ‘take care of those kids’ means these guys are running some kind of artifact-themed daycare operation?” –Uncle Lumpy

“I’m hung up on the fact whoever is talking (Snuffy or Loweezy) correctly makes the grammatical distinction between ‘yore’ and ‘yo’re.’” –Ignatz

“That’s what I always say during sex: ‘Maybe you can get out at the other end!‘ Confuses the hell out of my boyfriends, and what’s worse, not one of them has managed to do it.” –made of wince

“It’s butter. Handful-sized lumps of butter. A desperate attempt to shore up Vitamin D deposits before the dark season sets in. Yep, it’s butter three times a day ’til ol’ Bessie stops givin’.” –Hopester

“There’s no explanation for why the Wilsons have taken Dennis out to the countryside so I’ll assume the obvious. Since there’s aerial surveillance in that area, George and Martha should dig the unmarked grave underneath that tree.” –nescio

“Rusty won’t fall for it. He knows he has no dad.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“I’ve never seen a newspaper comic where the plucky kid heroes are saved by the villain’s strabismus, but I’m certainly open to new adventures.” –pastordan

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Banana Triangle: Poor Tom and Scotty and Rosemary, lost on an island somewhere in the sea. Frightened and desperate, hungry as could be, devoured each other; problem solved — one, two, three! A webcomic updated thrice weekly.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!