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Guys, it’s almost 11 on the west coast and I’m already thinking about lunch. But no matter your time zone, we can all chow down on this tasty top comment of the week!

“I’m waiting for the strip where Toby’s sculptures come to life and slowly climb down off the shelf and creep toward Ian’s bed. I’ve already contacted Danny Elfman about scoring this sequence.” –Pozzo

The runners up are also extremely yummy:

“My question here is: how? How can you start a strip with ‘Margo makes a mad dash’ and then depict neither Margo nor the mad dash? What kinds of decisions are being made at Apartment 3-G’s central office? ‘Hmmm. We could either show the strip’s only interesting character in a dramatic moment of psychotic fugue, or we could show two Sears-catalog-model-looking guys standing around saying vague things to one another while failing, yet again, to make eye contact. Wait, remind me. Is it Show, don’t tell or Tell, don’t show?‘ ‘I’m pretty sure it’s the second one.'” –Joe Blevins

“Communion bread crumbs to be handed out by an old lady in the park by the pond.” –Philip Rodney Moon, on Facebook

“Something is amiss? I think something is amister!” –Mibbitmaker

“You don’t look very happy, ice cream man. Do you need to lie down? What becomes of you in winter? Do you slowly wither away, as the world passes you by? Have you even heard of bitcoin?” –Dan

“Going where? Take a look around: there’s nothing but white void in every direction! ‘When’ and ‘where’ were things we worried about before we were transported to this milky state of limbo, now there is only ‘here’ and ‘now’, forever.” –pugfuggly

“The plugger wrapped his pill in a wad of Liverwurst, ate all the meat, and spit out the pill, like any self-respecting dog. Now he’s running away before his wife comes along and shoves it down his throat.” –Loopina

“Aquaman’s fallen on hard times.” –Ed Dravecky, on Facebook

“PLUGGERS ARE SO DECAYED NOT EVEN SCIENCE CAN SAVE THEM” –Adam C

“Toby is not alone: Ian has to burn the midnight oil for his art, too. It’s time to pose for his album cover, ‘Plump Bearded Tenor Sings Pagliacci.’” –Made of Wince

“Lisa’s Story was supposedly all about the love story between Les and Lisa. Now apparently it turns out he didn’t include how they met and fell in love in the story of their doomed love affair? He just started in media cancer?” –Laura

“Keep your passport current, Cayla, and start researching countries with no extradition.” –lumaca morente

“It is all a part of the calculated illusion, a kind of non visual forced perspective. The Facebook emojis appear new when set against the hoary, old cliched and stereotyped depictions of parents and teens. Genius!” –Joe Momma

“General Halftrack’s office is a Euclidean nightmare — how deep does it extend? How wide? And why do the golf balls remain the same size no matter how far away they travel? You certainly have done something today, General … something irreparable.” –Izzy

“By the way, was the punchline of today’s Blondie any good? I just got as far as FEELING BORED and agreed and quit reading.” –Doctor Handsome

“Oh man, if there ever was a time to feel sorry for Captain Chinbeard, it would be now: He straight-up grew a Dejection Mullet in between panels one and two.” –Jack loves comics

“I got jealous, watching you and Natasha swinging around town together. So from now on, it will be just her and me, swinging around town together! The Black Widow and The Red Divorcée!” –seismic-2

“SPLAK™: Have you had your beige today?” –Tim Monteith, on Facebook

“Did you know that there’s a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? The hip hop street youth in panel one does, and dammit he decided to do something about it.” –Tonya

“Heathcliff’s ennui is usually pretty clear, but it’s actually palpable in today’s strip. ‘Oh, aliens wearing board shorts appreciate how well I surf this tsunami wave? Whatever.'” –Drewbear

“Welcome to tonight’s Heathcliff drawing! Hope everyone has your tickets ready. The first ball up… surfing! Surfing is the first ball and the topic of tomorrow morning’s strip. The second ball up… aliens! Aliens will also appear in tomorrow’s strip. And the third and final ball… radical! The one-word ‘punchline’ of tomorrow’s strip will be radical! Surfing, aliens, radical! Hope those were the lucky words for you. But if not, enjoy tomorrow’s Heathcliff in its sheer Dadaist glory!” –Windier E. Megatons

“If you look closely at each Heathcliff, you can see the edge of a message from the illustrator, hidden under the aliens. Today’s reads: ‘let me die'” –bunivasal

“If this is indeed the very next day, it’s the perfect coda to the Dinner of Glaring. Either there was so much curt, petulant silence that Toby never mentioned her art show the next day and Hilton never mentioned that he was giving a lecture in about 21 hours, or they each mentioned their gigs but the others, their ears stuffed with hatred, didn’t hear.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey everybody! Yesterday I FINALLY sent the manuscript of my novel, The Enthusiast, to my copy editor. Hopefully the book itself should be in people’s hands by the end of the year.

If you were kind enough to back this novel on Kickstarter, way back in 2012, you should get an email at some point today with this message. If you don’t, please let me know and I’ll investigate. It’s possible that the email Kickstarter has doesn’t match what you currently use. I want to make sure everyone who backed via Kickstarter stays in the loop because I’ll be contacting everyone through Kickstarter’s messaging system to find out where to send their books! (The email address is the only thing that needs to be current — I’ll be asking you directly everything else I’ll need to know when the time comes.)

If you DIDN’T back the Kickstarter, and there’s lots of good reasons why you might not have — maybe you hadn’t even heard of me in June of 2012! — don’t worry, there will be LOTS of opportunities for you to buy the book when the time comes. On this web site, for instance. There will be many, many reminders that I have a book for sale, once it’s actually for sale. You will not be able to avoid them, I promise.

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You guys! This week’s top comment is pretty funny, right?

“Ah, but Dennis is present in today’s strip: he’s replaced Zayn in One Direction.” –pugfuggly

These runners up are pretty great too!

“Cayla’s weary and disappointed ‘my husband is obsessed with his time-traveling ex’ look from last Sunday is exactly the same as her ‘my husband lost consciousness’ look from today. Cayla, have you considered that maybe you just don’t like your husband very much?” –Dan

“Les, I think I speak for everyone here when I say you didn’t ruin the class reunion by passing out. That’s ridiculous. You ruined it by waking up.” –I am Groot

“Toby’s hiding the take-out containers while Ian brags about the little woman’s great cooking! What will ensue? (a) hijinks (b) wackiness (c) a tearful scene in which Toby tries to get her clueless husband to understand the myriad ways he undervalues and diminishes her (d) absolutely nothing of interest because, you know, Mary Worth” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“Peep? I don’t know about you guys, but for me the most depressing part of today’s comics was finding out that ‘tweeting’ is apparently a protected trademark now.” –Vulpius

“Man those guys need to call up 1-800-ANACHRONISTIC-REPETITIVE-JOKES, the place one goes to remedy phone number-based joke problems.” –norbizness, on Twitter

“Say what you will, but I thought Horf on Bolf was pretty funny.” –The Homework Ogre, on Twitter

“I know he probably can’t afford a lot of them, but I hope to God Doc is going to wear a pair of disposable latex gloves while tickling Snuffy.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“Laughter is the best medicine, so readers of this strip are doomed to a slow, lingering death.” –Pozzo

“Oh, Mr Wilson, does this mean you’re going to scour the Earth for the forty least selling songs of the year? That’s a tremendous, heroic undertaking which will probably require several lifetimes and expose you to some amazing, unlikely, personal music. Godspeed you brave adventurer!” –Amake

“I mean, have you been on Soundcloud? Have you listened to the shit on Bandcamp? In my day we had a real underground. The Monks, Sun Ra, Great Society, Captain Beefheart, Rocket From the Tombs, The Residents. Now it’s just a drum machine, a laptop, and three out of work 20-somethings in a shit bar. Where’s the weed, Martha? I’m in the mood for the Troggs.” –Carter

“‘If I don’t get the $10,000 referral fee that Charterstone pays, I’m done for. I’ll have to declare bankrptcy. Or catch the first plane to Lima,’ thinks Ian as the sweat trickles down his back.” –Big Bad Dave

“Beats ‘the ol’ bumstead chumhead.'” –thisblogisfortherats, on Tumblr

“The best bit is Herb, focusing on the road, maintaining a neutral expression, and thinking ‘Oh, god, they’re talking about Dag Swag again. How long do I have to wait before that gets played out? And is anyone talking about my new tie? Of course not! I can’t wait until his boss crushes him.'” –Horace Boon

“‘This forward compartment is much larger — Wait … What’s that!?’ –Mark Trail, being exposed for the first time to the mechanics of heterosexual intercourse” –Doctor Handsome

“Mark has no need to be exposed to radioactivity to become a super-hero, since he already is one. His secret identity is Brylcreem Man, who by sheer force of will is able to keep his hair combed underwater.” –seismic-2

“Is the chicken over-cooked? Well, you are eating with a spoon, so…” –lumaca morente

“I first interpreted this Crankshaft strip as a kind of heartbreaking elegy to lives wasted, an ode to years of regret: ‘don’t say run, don’t tempt me, or I will run away, far and fast, away from this tragic existence, as far as my feet will take me, disappear into the fairgrounds forever, and live out the remainder of my life as a carny, remembering, remembering but never returning.’ But the harrowing expressions on Jeff and Ed’s faces as they prepare to take a massive dump in their pants are really almost as poignant.” –Jack loves comics

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.