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Why hello! It’s Friday afternoon, so you must be awaiting your comment of the week! Here it is!

“‘I guess she’s really gone; there’s only one thing to do. Beard, your name is Toby now.’ (lovingly strokes beard) ‘You’ll never leave me, Toby. We’ll always be together.'” –Dan

And here are some hilarious runners-up!

“In this high-stakes game of international business intrigue, Heather strikes first by changing company passwords! I really hope next Sunday’s strip is an extended scene of Hugh pacing around his own library trying to remember what Heather’s mother’s maiden name is.” –pugfuggly

Spider-Man: “I will make you my queen. You will lay your ova on the muddy ocean floor. I will spill my seed to fertilize them. It is, ahem, quite sensuous.” –Joe Momma

“You see, Rusty, why would you ever want to play Pokemon, when you could be observing two live animals fighting to the death? No, no … don’t look away. Stare at the blood, son. Stare at the blood until all those feelings numb. Then you’ll be ready for a career in nature journalism and awkwardly interacting with the humans of this world.” –Comrade Dread

“By ‘take care of it’ I assume Mark’s going to stow away the innocent garter snake beneath Cherry’s mattress in her separate bed, so that when she wakes up nestling it out of some repressed desire for real human interaction, she’ll realize that people aren’t born being afraid of snakes, and Mark’ll walk in smiling his dead-eyed smile, with a plate full of snake-shaped pancakes or something. Or maybe she’ll come home one day and the house’ll be knee-high with snakes, like a ball pit. God, that must be a fun marriage.” –Jack loves comics

“Are we supposed to like this blond in Rex Morgan? Because I have a new theory about this strip and Judge Parker. I think they’re written by Soviet sleeper agents sent to the U.S. in the ’80s to turn America against capitalists. ‘Look,’ the writers say, ‘see how the capitalist class gets everything just handed to them without effort. See how they manipulate the proletariat! In Soviet Union, Judge Parkerchov features noble judge sentencing fascists and wreckers to Gulag. In Soviet Union, Rex Morganachov heals the sick regardless of income and even romances lovely wife.’ Hell, if they throw in a Soviet Mary Worth in which Mary gets sent to the Gulag as a rumor-monger, I’m ready to change sides.” –Voshkod

“Man, it looks like Crankshaft’s fucking that kangaroo in the first panel. Angrily, of course.” –Pozzo

“‘I’ll solve the immigration problem by filling the potholes! Then I’ll lower taxes by fighting the terrorists, and stop global warming by reducing gun violence without infringing on the Second Amendment! I know those fat cats don’t want me to say this, but God bless America!’ Shit, Ralph might actually win this thing.” –Doctor Handsome

“So … Margo no longer has amnesia? Did she ever? How do you forget where you live but remember someone as boring as Lu Ann?” –TheDiva

“‘It’s okay Margo, you’ll be just fine,’ said a cross-eyed and visibly drunk Lu Ann.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“The funniest part of today’s Momma is the look of genuine surprise on Momma’s face in panel one as she exclaims ‘Really?’ upon hearing that Francis wants to become ‘a model son’ to her. You can tell that this idea challenges everything she thought she knew about her own children. ‘So … you haven’t devoted yourself fully to the goal of making my autumn years miserable? You exist for some other reason than to torment me as I totter towards the grave? Hmmm. This requires further thought on my part.’ Luckily, she recovers quickly enough to wish death upon her son in panel three.” –Joe Blevins

“‘I spent a whole night thinking about’ somebody is an extremely weak euphemism for … um, staying up late watching Meg Ryan movies and crying? Yes. Let’s go with that.” –pastordan

Mary Worth: “Somehow despite his anguish, Ian has found the strength to put the flowers in a nice vase and cook himself a THREE-COLORED MEAL — an unprecedented level of nutritional diversity at Charterstone. Meanwhile Toby is unable to move and can only stare at her luggage in horror. She may have overplayed her hand here.” –Adam Menendez

“Let’s see how long the interested parties in Bangalore stay interested when they find out the CEO’s trophy wife can hack the entire system whenever she has a free Saturday afternoon.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Y’know, if you have no background in running a company or manufacturing lenses, maybe selling the company to the highest bidder is the best idea both for your own finances and for the future of the company? Or, we could let the nanny run it, that might work.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“Oh my god, a phone exactly the same colour as your beard so it blends into your beard when you talk on it. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT” –Adam

“Why does Mark have an app to measure Ken’s level of arousal?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I’m digging Mississippi Ken’s realistic foam fan finger. You, sir, are No. 1.” –Dood

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Let’s waste no time and get right to the COTW!

“One can almost hear the white-furred man-beast’s laments as it struggles to comprehend its situation. Whether it’s the loud alarmed bleat of the second panel, the rapid series of uncomprehending grunts in the third as it smooths its fur, or the distraught bellowing cry of the final, this truly is a natural spectacle as engrossing as it is disturbing.” –G’Quan

The other top comments were also very funny!

“This is just ‘platform sharing’ the way auto makers use a single chassis, like the ‘K Cars’ of the 80s, to create a line of multiple vehicles. In this way MacNelly can share the frame of ‘cranky-ass-old-people-complaints’ to produce both the Pluggers and Shoe lines of emotionally entropic dissatisfied humanoid-animal entertainment products.” –James Dowd, on Facebook

“Wow, Mary’s going to bring together a couple who actually did overreact to a small-ish fight, instead of trying to repair the relationship between a stalker and his target or an emotionally abusive alcoholic and her husband who’s been sober ever since he left her or two people who each have a small bomb planted under their skin that will explode if they get within 1 foot of each other. Is this the sign of a new Mary, a Mary who, instead of exercising good judgment, is just thrown softballs by the writers?” –Alex Blaze

“To add realism to this plot point, the reason Neddie and Whats-Her-Face knew the family was coming home early was because the RV park called to inform them they were giving them more free money. You have to admire Judge Parker’s dedication to internal consistency.” –BurtusJ

“Mary will of course use verbalizations of her little PSA’s as in panel one to exact a terrible revenge on Toby. ‘For a fresh, clean scent sprinkle baking soda on the carpet before vacuuming.’ ‘Remember to wash guests’ sheets in hot water every day!’ ‘Potpourri makes an excellent cover-up for the stench of failure and half-baked artistic visions.’ ‘Salmon is the perfect color for food. ALL FOOD MUST BE SALMON.'” –pastordan

“And so it begins. Les will soon discover a myriad of digital ways to keep Lisa’s memory alive: web pages, blogs, Facebook memorial pages, YouTube, Twitter accounts, etc. The Internet will be awash with links with video clips announcing ‘At 10 seconds I smiled, at 30 seconds I began to weep. You will not believe what happened at 60 seconds! It will break your heart!’ Think of the joy it will give Les knowing that he can spread Lisa’s misery virally and on a global scale.” –Joe Momma

“You can TRY to keep your doorknob clean and nice, but most of them wear out after 6-9 months, and you just have to replace them. It’s what Big Doorknob wants — they call it ‘planned obsolescence.'” –Red Delicious

“So you deliberately phrase a question into an unnaturally passive voice, and then think the punchline? Come on, woman; commit to the premise. ‘You see, what I’m getting at, is that she sniffs her own shit and eats vomit. She humps strangers and is easily distracted by noises. Just like a Greyhound bus. Your mother. I’m talking about your mother.'” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“Wait, are they having a wine and casserole supper? Let me take an inventory here. No plates, no silverware, just a bottle of wine, three glasses, a casserole dish, and at least one napkin. Is that how rich people live?” –Joe Blevins

“I had assumed that Les had already transcribed all of the ‘Immortal Lisa Tapes’ onto a solid gold disc and had it launched on a spacecraft destined for the center of the galaxy so that Lisa will still exist long after the sun has collapsed on itself. Someday, far, far in the future an alien race will discover this treasure trove and catch cancer from it.” –Mikey

“You can have that pearl of wisdom and 49 more, in Ed Koans: Philosophical Musings of the Angry and Senile.” –pugfuggly

“I can’t believe he threw the money card at me, Mary! As you so helpfully point out to me on a daily basis, I have a thousand other glaring personal flaws! You’re the only one who really gets me.” –Doctor Handsome

“Mr. Wilson made his money the old-fashioned way. Sure, he underbid us and took the job we should have had, but as long as we don’t have to pay for this ice cream ourselves why should we give a shit?” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

Judge Parker: “Neddy is about to learn the same lesson that Napoleon was taught at Aspern-Essling in 1809. Don’t underestimate the difficulty involved when making plans involving a Danube.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“Ken needed a special suit outfitted with a dorsal fin to protect his beautacious pony tail. Always protect the pony tail.” –Tonya

“Momma looks off … I think because Momma and Mary Lou are the exact same height and I didn’t recognize Momma without her hat. It would indeed be a tragedy for Momma to grow out of her dwarfism, only to die days later.” –DimensionalOtter

“[Panel one] is exactly what someone says when they are about to break into a song and dance number. ‘It’s SHOWTIME!!!'” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“So few wear pince-nez eyeglasses without a cape. Bold fashion move, HL.” –Dennis Jimenez

“Evidently, she embezzled all the furniture.” –Pozzo

“Yeah, remember all those ‘10 People You Hate to Work With’ listicles that mention the Embezzler? Some people make every meeting about them, and some people steal hundreds of thousands of dollars, am I right? Better hope your boss isn’t the Wrecker of Global Economy!” –Steve S

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey guys, just wanted to keep you updated on the progress of my novel! I’ve now received the manuscript back from the copy editor, need to review the final changes, and hope to send it to the designer next week. Much more interestingly, though, I now have COVER ART for the book, which I am EXTREMELY excited about! It’s by Matt Lubchansky, a great cartoonist and otherwise awesome person, and it’s FANTASTIC, and here it is:

Who are all these people? What are they doing on this subway platform? Who are the mysterious “Ladies Who Lunch” lurking in the background? You will have to wait until the book arrives to find out … but that won’t be too much longer now, either for Kickstarter backers or for people who just want to buy it. EXCITING!