Post Content

Let’s go into the weekend with your comment of the week!

“That Darwin kid has some spark. Right there, on his left sleeve. Let’s just keep an eye on him. Ever seen polyester go up in flames? Hilarious!” –pugfuggly

These runners up are also a nonstop party!

“It’s not even a DVD. Actual air time was bought because it was addressed to the whole town. And town deserved it.” –Trey James, on Facebook

“At first, I thought it was strange that Tommie was saying ‘Hush, Eric, while I listen to Margo’s heart,’ and pressing her ear against a pick-up truck. But then again, it would be equally strange if she was listening for a heart in Margo’s chest, really.” –Schroduck

“That’s about a 34″ cathode-ray TV there, so it probably weighs 30 pounds easy, but it’s balanced precariously on two rickety legs with wheels, and the weight of the curious vulture somehow doesn’t tip it over. Yes, THAT’S my problem with the logic of today’s Slylock Fox.” –Doctor Handsome

“One interesting thing I don’t believe you’ve commented on is the fact that there apparently exists an alliance of sorts between the few remaining humans and those more conservative animals who hold to traditional mores like ‘not wearing clothes’ and ‘living as nature intended.’ Is this a brewing revolution against the New Order? Spider, vulture, snake, bat — they may be sapient now, but they haven’t embraced the bastardized appropriation of human mores that most of their society has. How poignant, that some of these creatures recognise that humanity is not their enemy, but that things were better when men were men and vultures were vultures. A world where cloned humans reclaim their cities and restore the natural order is one that these sympathetic reactionaries dream of.” –G’Quan

“We all known that the only name Les calls out during sex is his own. That’s why Cayla is smirking.” –Joe Momma

“Seriously. I walked in on him masturbating once. I knew I should’ve turned back when I heard my name said over and over again, but morbid curiosity struck. Get it? Because I’m currently dead?” –rbmalpha

“One of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism is increased bowel movements, so there’s hope for this storyline yet.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“I find it almost touching that Momma cheerfully went into a Mother-to-Mother-Filial-Comparison-Competition (or ‘son-down,’ in common parlance) with Francis at her side, rather than Thomas, her married, employed son. Sure, she knows she’s going to lose Round 1 — ‘Where is your son’s art hanging?’ — but wait ’til they get to Round 17 — ‘Is your son currently in possession of a hat?'” –Joe Blevins

“Mary Jane knows her husband is as dumb as a bag of unwashed clothes, yet Peter manages to suprise her nonetheless. Well done Peter, keep the spark alive.” –Guðmundur Bjarki, on Facebook

“Toby doesn’t get the hint that Mary is some new kind of bored with Toby’s trifling problems. For God’s sakes, this is a woman who meddled dogs in the past and she can’t even be bothered with this crap.” –Gabacho

“Summer’s a pretty tough kid. She barely cried at all when I told her to stay out of Mommy’s room when I’m recording my important secret videos.” –Chyron HR

“You may not be aware of this, Cayla, but your husband doesn’t have any siblings. I don’t have any siblings either, in case Les forgot to tell you at Lisa Orientation. Just thought I’d let you know, in case you didn’t notice the pervasive stench of Only Child Syndrome that has enshrouded our lives like a thick fog.” –K.M.

“Don’t worry Spider-Man, it’s not as chilling as it seems. Closer examination reveals that Namor is planning to use Sendit, a dated way of sharing links to large files, to get the battleship to the ocean floor. Cue weeks of puzzled frowning as he tries to create an account. ‘WHY does it NEED my DATE of BIRTH?!'” –Adam

“Also in the depths of his DTs the general sees his radio as a vicious face with bone crushing ragged teeth. Every few weeks we have to replace it when he smashes the old one with a ball peen hammer in self defense.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Also, Pluggers buy athletic shoes even though none of them have exercised since the Johnson administration.” –Flonatin of Bologna

“I think Marvin is physically transforming, Lost Highway-style, into Garfield. Which is one of those rare cases where that would actually be an improvement.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Only four garbage cans, and you call that being a ‘romantic’? Stick to hauling trash, pally.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Yeah, nothing says ‘romance’ to me like inky blackness slowly overtaking the sky while the all-seeing eye of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hovers above, choosing whom of the walking meat below will be consumed first. Fortunately, High Priest Heathcliff and his chosen bride will be spared the carnage to follow.” –Pozzo

“Exposed to laptop radiation in its mother’s womb, and comforted only by the sound of clicking keys, the child of Rex and June Morgan would grow up to be … the Internet Troll! With all the powers of an Internet Troll, such as snark, the Internet Troll … no, wait, this hits a bit too close to home.” –Voshkod

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Post Content

Behold, all: your delightful comment of the week!

“It’s like an ‘Easter egg’ in that it’s been sitting around forgotten for 15 years and it stinks.” –Chyron HR

And your extremely delightful runners up!

“For a strip obsessed with death, Funky Winkerbean really does have a problem accepting that certain characters ARE ACTUALLY DEAD AND CAN’T TALK ANYMORE MOVE THE HELL ON” –C. Sandy Cyst

Mary Worth: “Ian, Toby’s instructions were clearly stated: she did not want you to attempt to contact her. Yet here you are attempting to contact her. I find it scary that an obvious illiterate has a doctorate in English Literature.” –Zerowolf

“Dear Wilson and Beatty: I fear you have misinterpreted my request to return the focus of our story to a pregnant June Morgan and her new rack…” –boojum

“Mr. Plugger is intimidated new things, so he spends all his free time re-reading the same familiar book over and over again. But this time, something is different. On his 17th repetition, on page 113, the book has changed. Something unfamiliar has happened. You have entered a dimension of fear. A dimension of dog. Welcome … to the Plugger Zone.” –Nekrotzar

“Toby does not have lots of friends. Hell, she probably doesn’t even have Mary now.” –Gabacho

“Hey look! It’s another deadly situation that could have been avoided weeks ago by just picking up a phone and calling the authorities. Welp, anyhow, I hope Mark enjoys his cool underwater harpoon fight as his hair falls out and his organs start to fail.” –pugfuggly

“Wait, a pharmaceutical price-gouging joke? Oh man, Pluggers is accidentally timely. I don’t know how to react to that. It looks like chicken lady doesn’t either. This is really uncomfortable for everyone involved.” –Dan

“A classic! We have to choose between medicine and food! Haw haw! Well, looks like it was a bad choice for a chicken to marry a carnivore.” –hogenmogen

Although ‘Toby’s only friend is Mary and everyone knows it’ is pretty good, it would be fun if it turned out that Ian had cameras in every apartment at Charterstone, Sliver-style. ‘Mary, put Toby on! I can see she’s there! Uh, I mean, I can see her in my MIND’S EYE, in yet another boner-deflating lavender ensemble … you know what, maybe this is for the best.'” –Windier E. Megatons

“What Ian doesn’t realize in panel 1 is that Toby would love to talk to him, but Mary’s got her trapped inside an invisible box! What Mary doesn’t realize in panel 2 is that Toby’s radioing her security detail: ‘On my signal, launch Operation Storm Charterstone. Watch out for my invisible box.'” –Shoe Substitutes

“How’s this for irony? A bird bought a trampoline!” –Not Frazz

“If he does bite, lady, let me be the first to tell you that leash and harness ain’t gonna work. What you’re going to need is a muzzle. And I can say from experience, don’t cheap out and get some flimsy mesh thing from Petco. What you want is leather. Thicker the better. Mom’ll back me up on this. Won’t you, Mom?” –Joe Blevins

“In Lu Ann’s Wager, you believe in God not to avoid eternal damnation, but rather keep your face from melting like Tommie’s in panel two.” –But What Do I Know?

“It’s not like my Mom used to make. Of course, she learned at the feet of the great Heisenberg. I can taste the phenylacetone and … is that cumin?” –Voskhod

“If they do rename Herb and Jamaal, I hope they name it The Gourd People. Because then it’ll be a science fiction strip, and instead of thinking, Why do these people act like this? we can think, Ah, the Gourd People are practicing being human so they can ‘fit in!’ Ha ha, it’s funny how far off they are.” –BeckoningChasm

“Do you suppose that kid from yesterday bit Dennis and that’s what the bandage is for? The human mouth is filthy and his mother should have taken him to the hospital for all the required shots, but after that last comment I’m not sure she’s feeling anything, either.” –WLP

Also, let’s give a shoutout to Adam Clarke on Twitter for coming up with the first ever visual COTW candidate:

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Post Content

Why hello! It’s Friday afternoon, so you must be awaiting your comment of the week! Here it is!

“‘I guess she’s really gone; there’s only one thing to do. Beard, your name is Toby now.’ (lovingly strokes beard) ‘You’ll never leave me, Toby. We’ll always be together.'” –Dan

And here are some hilarious runners-up!

“In this high-stakes game of international business intrigue, Heather strikes first by changing company passwords! I really hope next Sunday’s strip is an extended scene of Hugh pacing around his own library trying to remember what Heather’s mother’s maiden name is.” –pugfuggly

Spider-Man: “I will make you my queen. You will lay your ova on the muddy ocean floor. I will spill my seed to fertilize them. It is, ahem, quite sensuous.” –Joe Momma

“You see, Rusty, why would you ever want to play Pokemon, when you could be observing two live animals fighting to the death? No, no … don’t look away. Stare at the blood, son. Stare at the blood until all those feelings numb. Then you’ll be ready for a career in nature journalism and awkwardly interacting with the humans of this world.” –Comrade Dread

“By ‘take care of it’ I assume Mark’s going to stow away the innocent garter snake beneath Cherry’s mattress in her separate bed, so that when she wakes up nestling it out of some repressed desire for real human interaction, she’ll realize that people aren’t born being afraid of snakes, and Mark’ll walk in smiling his dead-eyed smile, with a plate full of snake-shaped pancakes or something. Or maybe she’ll come home one day and the house’ll be knee-high with snakes, like a ball pit. God, that must be a fun marriage.” –Jack loves comics

“Are we supposed to like this blond in Rex Morgan? Because I have a new theory about this strip and Judge Parker. I think they’re written by Soviet sleeper agents sent to the U.S. in the ’80s to turn America against capitalists. ‘Look,’ the writers say, ‘see how the capitalist class gets everything just handed to them without effort. See how they manipulate the proletariat! In Soviet Union, Judge Parkerchov features noble judge sentencing fascists and wreckers to Gulag. In Soviet Union, Rex Morganachov heals the sick regardless of income and even romances lovely wife.’ Hell, if they throw in a Soviet Mary Worth in which Mary gets sent to the Gulag as a rumor-monger, I’m ready to change sides.” –Voshkod

“Man, it looks like Crankshaft’s fucking that kangaroo in the first panel. Angrily, of course.” –Pozzo

“‘I’ll solve the immigration problem by filling the potholes! Then I’ll lower taxes by fighting the terrorists, and stop global warming by reducing gun violence without infringing on the Second Amendment! I know those fat cats don’t want me to say this, but God bless America!’ Shit, Ralph might actually win this thing.” –Doctor Handsome

“So … Margo no longer has amnesia? Did she ever? How do you forget where you live but remember someone as boring as Lu Ann?” –TheDiva

“‘It’s okay Margo, you’ll be just fine,’ said a cross-eyed and visibly drunk Lu Ann.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“The funniest part of today’s Momma is the look of genuine surprise on Momma’s face in panel one as she exclaims ‘Really?’ upon hearing that Francis wants to become ‘a model son’ to her. You can tell that this idea challenges everything she thought she knew about her own children. ‘So … you haven’t devoted yourself fully to the goal of making my autumn years miserable? You exist for some other reason than to torment me as I totter towards the grave? Hmmm. This requires further thought on my part.’ Luckily, she recovers quickly enough to wish death upon her son in panel three.” –Joe Blevins

“‘I spent a whole night thinking about’ somebody is an extremely weak euphemism for … um, staying up late watching Meg Ryan movies and crying? Yes. Let’s go with that.” –pastordan

Mary Worth: “Somehow despite his anguish, Ian has found the strength to put the flowers in a nice vase and cook himself a THREE-COLORED MEAL — an unprecedented level of nutritional diversity at Charterstone. Meanwhile Toby is unable to move and can only stare at her luggage in horror. She may have overplayed her hand here.” –Adam Menendez

“Let’s see how long the interested parties in Bangalore stay interested when they find out the CEO’s trophy wife can hack the entire system whenever she has a free Saturday afternoon.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Y’know, if you have no background in running a company or manufacturing lenses, maybe selling the company to the highest bidder is the best idea both for your own finances and for the future of the company? Or, we could let the nanny run it, that might work.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“Oh my god, a phone exactly the same colour as your beard so it blends into your beard when you talk on it. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT” –Adam

“Why does Mark have an app to measure Ken’s level of arousal?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I’m digging Mississippi Ken’s realistic foam fan finger. You, sir, are No. 1.” –Dood

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.