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You comment of the week is coming in a moment, but first, an unpaid pre-endorsement: Your favorite anthropomorphic crime-solving fox will soon be available in puzzle book form, for the kids, from beloved Slylock Fox cartoonist/faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader Bob Weber, Jr.! You can pre-order Go Fun! Slylock Fox Mystery Puzzles or Go Fun! Spot Six Differences from Amazon! Don’t worry, I’ll let you know again when they’re published, but why not pre-order now? (There is no reason not to pre-order now.)

And there’s no reason not to enjoy today’s comment of the week!

“If there’s anything that gets Mary more excited than old people having sex, it’s when her meddling leads to old people having sex. Those potatoes are in for some mashing tonight!” –BigTed

Or the runners up! Very funny!

“You see, Rusty, I’m trying to explain how you were born. You and your brethren are the bluegills, and the largemouth ate all of them but you, then choked and died. Then, you ate all the babies. I realize that this metaphor has likely made things more confusing, but I assure you it’s accurate. You ate a lot of babies.” –rbmalpha

“Margo, it’s two in the morning. I’m in my sleepin’ polo!” –Shoe Substitutes

“The security camera POV in the first panel suggests that Marty Moon is going to get ‘the scoop’ whether or not Maxwell agrees to that interview or not. ‘You haven’t seen anything yet, Mr. Moon,’ the lad foolishly says. Oh, yes, he has. More than you’ll know.” –Joe Blevins

“Sure, Mark Trail loves nature, but Mark Trail isn’t one of those hippie, hairy Greenpeace PETA environmentalist pansies, no sireebob. Mark Trail is a conservationist! What’s a conservationist? It’s a little like an environmentalist, but Mark Trail won’t hesitate to burn hippos or beat the shit out of alligators to show them who’s boss. Also, clean shaven. Mark Trail will punch your hippie beard right the fuck off your face, you filthy commie.” –Comrade Dread

“There is so much right about the artwork in today’s strip, from Joey’s ‘I’m-gonna-puke’ squiggle of a mouth to Dennis’s menacing ‘eyes behind the bangs’ to the cookie bloat of both boys’ bellies, but the very best is the script on the cookie jar — very 50s/60s, the time that these boys are frozen in. I wonder if this artist could render ‘bourbon’ just as evocatively when rendering these same two experimenters a few years older, in their teens.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I could understand humans in The Flintstones universe using animals as tools due to man’s dominion over beast, but I find animals using each other as tools far more fascinating. Those stares are signs of the breakdown of their social order. This sudden realization makes them plot using each other for all sorts of daily tasks. The feeling would be comparable to walking down the aisles of Home Depot after buying a new house.” –sporknpork

“Having Lu Ann tell you she trusts your good sense is not much of a compliment. It’s like having a tree stump admire your thumbs.” –Gabacho

“The owner-kid’s quirkily-clothed pal looks positively terrified to witness the wrath of Heathcliff, unsurprisingly. ‘Hey, I might be an aspiring clown who comes to your house to escape my dysfunctional home life, but even I think this is strange!’ While the owner-kid’s attitude is more ‘I have been emotionally deadened by years of this. Just remember not to swear unless you want that beanie of yours bloodstained and hanging in the den.'” –Jack loves comics

“So what exactly do people dream about in this strip? Turkey and a bottle of wine? Let’s hope it wasn’t a wet dream.” –Wave Man

“As the herd thins, plugger-isms will also get strangely specific. ‘U know ur a Plugger when Louise needs to help you cut your food'” –inaflash, on Twitter

“First it was nothing below the waist; now it’s nothing below the shoulders. If Frank Bolle lasts much longer this strip will just depict talking scalps. The only way to tell them apart will be the color, and apparently even that will get screwed up.” –Tom the Sailor Man

“Welcome back to cooking with Mary Worth. In the first part of the show, I showed you how to defur a tribble. Now, I’ll demonstrate peeling off the tough outer skin. After that, you can bake them for 25 minutes at 350 degrees and feast on the goo within! Remember, keep your tribble alive as long as possible — the fear makes them tender!” –Voshkod

“And now the truth comes out: Hannah has never actually held a flute before in her life, much less played one. ‘Let’s see, I guess I just clutch my right hand around here like so, then delicately hold this key down with my left index finger, then bite down on the mouthpiece while holding my body as if I’m in the throes of a severe neck spasm…'” –TheDiva

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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You thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you? Well, I didn’t. A full week of 2015 blogging is under my belt and here’s last week’s top comment:

“Hey kids! Do you want to be a detective like Slylock? Lick today’s comic, and you’ll be able to taste the salty seawater too! And be sure to lick every single Slylock comic strip you see from now on, whether it’s in the paper or on your monitor. You’ll help solve mysteries! What? You don’t want to? I guess you like crime. Have fun in jail.” –made of wince

And here are the very funny runners up!

“Uh, Les, you actually can keep Christmas in your heart all year long, even if — and this is a crucial distinction here — you don’t literally have a Christmas tree in your living room. You see, the word ‘heart’ has taken on a metaphorical … aw, forget it.” –Joe Blevins

“…oh, and feathers, I suppose. Not sure why I would forget about the feathers. It’s like … like we’re not ‘supposed’ to have them, somehow? I dunno. It’s just one of those things. Like beaks. The other day I made a play on words involving our ‘lips’ and only now it occurs to me that I don’t think I’ve seen lips on any living thing, ever. Eh. I’ll try not thinking about that stuff now.” –Lenoxus

“My teenage daughters are always talking on the phone. Luckily, i spend my afternoons in a bar, so I don’t have to concern myself with anything they have to say.” –BigTed

Judge Parker: “I assume these boxed mashed potatoes are not the instant potato flakes you and I would buy, but, rather, actual mashed potatoes, prepared by Top Chef winner Bryan Voltaggio, then vacuum-sealed in a top-secret process that allows them to be boxed, sold, and shipped around the world. Sam and Abbey get them delivered free each week, because … well, even they don’t remember. They just do.” –bbofun

“Two kids working together for a decent wage? That smacks of unionism, and Ed is not having it.” –pugfuggly

“Twelve bottles, two people, three days … my God, Abby, we might have to drink water! Like commoners! And fish! And common fish!” –Voshkod

“By 2020, ‘The Funnies’ will have been replaced as a heading by ‘The Psychosexually Horrifyings.'” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Actually, the heels might just be MaryLou’s way of amplifying the height difference between her and her mother in order to impress and intimidate. Clearly, she spent a lot of time thinking about how she’ll reveal her affair with a married man to her mother, how she’d nip the expected onslaught of (passive-)aggression in the bud by using techniques she learned on the Discovery Channel. Momma, however, throws MaryLou’s defenses off-kilter with a blasé witticism. Don’t look at us, MaryLou! Keep your eyes on your mother, because she’s about to strike!” –Alex Blaze

“Spider-Man, Spider-Man / watches TV like a lazy man / Without his wife, he’d be alone / Never learned how to silence his cell phone / Look out! Wherever there’s a loose brick, / or a pipe wielding thug named Rick / You’ll find unconscious Spider-Man!” –rbmalpha

“Like June Morgan, I also wear my wedding ring on my middle finger. That way, when I give my wife the finger, it has so much more depth and meaning.” –Lily Sincere

“I wonder how much Google is paying Spider-Man to advertise the fact that he owns an iPhone.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“Any contract between Sarah Morgan and her parents must surely end in the word ‘cornfield.'” –seismic-2

“I’m intrigued and disturbed by the fact that the moon seems to be spreading inky blackness rather than light. Garbage Ape is not pleased, Heathcliff. Garbage Ape is not pleased.” –Cthulhu Gnu

“In a way, I’m impressed that Spider-Man’s phone works. I thought he would have dodged this bullet because he’d been too lazy to recharge it.” –Droopy Says

“‘I just fell off the Empire State Building but I’m okay’ is the new lunch selfie on Instagram.” –pastordan

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey y’all! A fun conversation I had with John Leavitt about the 1989 Brooke Shields Brenda Starr movie has been published on The Toast, so check that out! This movie is BONKERS and doesn’t get enough exposure in my opinion. It’s not officially available on video but has been broken into four parts and uploaded to YouTube, so it’s not too difficult to find if you look.

In non-comics but still-of-potential-interest news, I also wrote an article for ITworld about the difficulty of crowdfunding open source projects, so check that out as well!