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Slylock Fox, 7/8/24

For hundreds of thousands of years, between H. Sapiens, Neanderthals, Denisovans, and H. erectus, there were multiple human species coexisting on the planet. But they mostly lived in small bands separated from one another by great distances, and weren’t that different from one another (DNA evidence even shows that they occasionally interbred when they did meet up). At any rate, H. sapiens soon prevailed, and the differences between the various subgroups of our species, which we have historically placed so much importance on, are little more than a rounding error, genetically.

The animals of the Slylockverse seem to have taken over our institutions wholesale, but surely the most difficult part the transition was the idea of equality of all citizens before the law, something even we have trouble with. Here, the varying abilities and evolutionary adaptations of various animals become important aspects of police work, despite the fact that everyone is wearing clothes and, presumably, living most of the time on land. It’s confusing! Also confusing is the fact that Slylock is wasting his time on a minor harassment incident when we’re watching a straight-up murder happen in the background. Some animals are more equal than others, and fully aquatic animals are the least equal of all!

Gasoline Alley, 7/8/24

It appears that God has answered Walt’s prayers, and is about to save him from financial ruin by [squints] ensuring that his up-to-date homeowners insurance pays for the damages to his house, in accordance with the provisions of his policy documents. You might question how God was involved in that transaction. Well, He is Eternal and does not experience time as we do, so how do you suppose Walt came to buy that policy in the first place, huh? Makes you think.

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Slylock Fox, 6/4/24

I assume that the gentleman who’s been tied up is the victim here, some solid citizen who was simply walking around with burlap sacks full of cash, as one does, before being kidnapped by this nefarious pair of thieves. Now he’s watching the fisticuffs perpetrated by his rescuers, and we may note that in both versions of the panel, he looks on not with glee or even relief but with what appears to be wary trepidation. Sure, getting forcibly tied up, presumably under the threat of bodily harm, was harrowing, but he takes no pleasure in this orgy of retributive violence either, and seems unsure whether these costumed vigilantes, operating as they do outside the law, truly have his best interests in mind. And what about the fact that each opposing dyad includes one human and one animal who walks on hind legs and seems to have achieved human-scale intelligence? What’s that about, and what’s it going to lead to? Probably nowhere good!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/4/24

Shocking development: our pair of budding tween comedians are not regarded as the coolest kids in school despite their encyclopedic knowledge of vaudeville, and were in fact cruelly bullied last week! But don’t worry, they defeated their bully in the marketplace of ideas, and now in the aftermath of that encounter are reflecting on the fact that their misguided would-be tormentor is merely caught in a cycle of psychic violence that hopefully they can all break out of together. More on this story as developments warrant, or as they don’t warrant, if it’s on a slow day.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 5/19/24

Now, you all know that I am a fan of Reeky Rat trailer park disputes and have been for a very long time, but it’s still nice to see that the strip is mixing things up a little, like giving us the perspective of the Reeky Drama Cam Drone Sly has parked over Chez Rat 24/7 now. Anyway, do you really doubt his alibi that much? Does Reeky look like a guy who microwaves a can of soup, sees that the only clean pieces of silverware he has are forks, and then goes through the trouble of cleaning a spoon? You know you can just pick that bowl up and drink out of it, right, the edge of the fork works just as well as a spoon for scraping the last bits out.

Shoe, 5/19/24

“Oh, you’re talking about the afterlife. We’re birds, Padre! We don’t have souls! Sorry you spent your life in service to the God of Humanity, but trust me when I say that He doesn’t care about you. That bit about the sparrow is a metaphor.”