Archive: Slylock Fox

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Mary Worth, 7/4/21

Not too much to say about Shauna vs. Ashlee: The Rumble At The Clinic For Drew’s Love except that the art here genuinely delights me. The dynamism of the hair-pulling in the middle row, the striking series of symmetries in the bottom row — it’s all great. I’m very sad that readers who don’t get the throwaway panels are missing out on the extreme Shauna closeup and quote from Yungblud (definitely an artist that I, a cool young person, had heard of and didn’t have to look up on Wikipedia to learn that he and Halsey broke up because they “worked better as friends”). Anyway, the next time this strip spends another six months on “dogs are good, actually,” we’ll have this moment to reflect back on and sustain us.

Hi and Lois, 7/4/21

I’m absolutely dying for an insight into whatever editorial process within King Features and/or Walker Brown Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC led to notorious local drunk Thirsty Thurston pointing to a box full of obviously illegal fireworks and calling them “legal fireworks.” Honestly the only way this would be funnier would be if Thirsty were doing an exaggerated wink at the reader when he said it, or if he blew several fingers off in the final panel.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 7/4/21

I’m not even going to bother with today’s dumb “mystery” and instead want to draw your attention to the Frankenstein-style monster looming in the bathroom doorway. It’s truly tragic that Count Weirdly, one of the last living humans in this animal-dominated world, is so lonely that he’s stitched together a shambolic golem out of the no doubt numerous human corpses available and animated it using forbidden science, just to have a friend.

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Slylock Fox, 6/16/21

A human can outrun all of these animals … over a short distance, yes. But what if the animals started thinking in the long term? What if they created their own society, and laws, and hired a fox detective who uses steely logic and will never give up in pursuit of his targets? This particular human is right to look scared at the prospect. He doesn’t know the true face of terror, not yet.

UPDATE: Ha ha, whooops, I misread this, apologies, I have been eaten by a bear

Mary Worth, 6/16/21

Sorry I talk so much about comic book time on here, but darn it, just keeps getting more and more relevant the more years I keep doing this blog, in which I talk about comic strip characters who never grow any older! A somewhat underdiscussed corollary of this phenomenon is that since said characters stay the same age, we have to assume that all the wild adventures we’ve watched them have take place when they’re that age, which is to say within a fairly compressed period of time. Take, for instance, Dr. Drew’s brief, ill-fated romance with his coworker Liza, which took place in 2011, or his even more ill-fated relationship with Dawn, which took place four years before that. Since everyone involved was the same age then as they are now, does that mean that, in the world of the strip, they all ended about a year ago, give or take? Did Shauna pickpocket her way into Drew’s heart before or after all that? Are we meant to understand that Drew and Shauna were engaged in hot, dysfunctional action somewhere in the background while we were forced to endure the endless Saul/Eve thing? Because that would be a true betrayal of the compact between reader and comics creator, in my opinion.

Blondie, 6/16/21

Speaking of comic book time, a thing that I like to occasionally dwell on is that in the origins of this strip, Blondie was a notorious flapper and Dagwood the heir to a family fortune who was slumming in the same scenes as her in the roaring ’20s, but he gave his inheritance up when he married her and since then they’ve slowly become generic middle-class suburbanites, their histories forgotten. I always think it’d be fun to call back to that now and then, though obviously due to the passage of time that specific history now no longer makes sense, so here’s my proposal for a reboot: occasional flashbacks to Blondie and Dagwood, drug-addled New York City club kids in the late ’80s/early ’90s, you’re welcome everybody. Oh, and Dagwood was fucking Blondie’s roommate behind her back, I guess.

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Judge Parker, 4/26/21

Oh, hey, remember when Sam got kidnapped a couple of years ago? Well, kidnapped might be a kind of strong word for it. Yes, he was taken away at gunpoint by this lady against his will, but that was only to get him to a meeting with April’s dad Norton, so that they could plot out some crimes to get Judge Parker Senior out of jail for the crimes he did, after which time Sam was free to go (to put their crime plan into motion), and technically a normal person would interpret this sequence of events as being kidnapped, especially the part at the beginning with the gun. But Sam is supposed to be the man of action in this strip, responsible for all sorts of derring-do! Remember when Sam’s pal almost got hacked to bits by a chainsaw? That’s the sort of thing that used to happen to him and his friends all the time! Sam should be significantly more chill about that previous encounter with not-April, is what I’m saying.

Slylock Fox, 4/26/21

A thing I really respect about Wanda Witch is her cheerful attitude about everthing, embracing the darkness of her chosen profession/species (?). She seems fun, and who wouldn’t want to hang out with her at home and sing along as she pounds out “Ding, Dong, the Witch Is Dead” on the piano? And if you think there’s something unusual about a florist delivering roses with the thorns still on them, you have a lot to learn about the courting customs in the positive-vibes goth subculture that Wanda and her paramour Count Weirdly are clearly both members of.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/26/21

Look, Funky’s monologue about how he had it rough during the COVID lockdown was insufferable, of course, but at least it sort of made sense as something you’d talk about at an AA meeting. But now it looks like he’s just gonna launch into a recap of the strips where he gets verbally abused by his personal trainer, and I can’t see any real therapeutic value in that.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/21

OK, so we’re on day two of “Jordan and Michelle are about to go nuts all over each other’s hot bods, we must stop watching now,” followed by very pointedly continuing to watch, and I know that there’s a whole thing where the Sunday strips have to stand alone because some people don’t see them and some people only see them, but this is really starting to make me uncomfortable, I have to say.

Dustin, 4/26/21

My initial reaction reading this was, “Wait, why is Dustin getting home in what I assume is the early afternoon? Why isn’t he at work?” And now I have a new worst crime to accuse the comic strip Dustin of: making me briefly think exactly like Dustin’s terrible father.