Archive: Slylock Fox

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Mark Trail, 10/13/21

Interesting, interesting, it seems that despite my taunting Mark may have fought in a war after all. Or … did he? He does seem quite cagey about the details as soon as friend starts pressing him, doesn’t he? Maybe he realizes that Cliff isn’t going to consider his lifetime of efforts punching hippies to be a “tour,” even though his handlers from the CIA assured him he was on the front lines of the most important war America would ever fight.

Slylock Fox, 10/13/21

Hmm, we’re seeing a lone walrus warily eyeing those polar bears, but the quiz answer assures us that walruses are almost invariably found in massive herds of hundreds or even thousands of walrus companions. We have to assume this isolated individual is a scout for a vast walrus army that’s preparing to attack and overwhelm the arctic’s most powerful predators. I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen Slylock and his pals interact with sapient polar bears or walruses, presumably because they’re locked in a brutal war thousands of miles north of the Forest Kingdom.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 10/10/21

“Gosh,” you’re probably thinking, “I’m not sure what this fish photography session has to do with Slylock’s usual job,” and that’s because you’re a fool, an absolute child who believes Sly’s job is to “solve mysteries” or whatever. In fact, his larger task is to impose the will of the Forest Kingdom’s state apparatus on its subjects. Apparently, his ratiocination has quieted the metropole for the moment, so he and Max have been sent off on a colonial scouting expedition, plotting to bring a whole new branch of life under the control of Princess Pussycat‘s regime.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/10/21

I’m very excited for Griff to use his special ops skills to stealthily take position outside Jordan and Michelle’s home and get his erstwhile comrade’s skull right in his crosshairs, only to hear him nattering on about “why do I need friends when I have in-laws who I just met?” “I can’t do it,” he thinks. “What’s the point of even pulling the trigger? The man’s dead already.”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/3/21

For a brief moment, Snuffy realizes that he’s harvesting worms that he’ll use to catch fish that he’ll presumably eat, which is a little too close to productive economic activity for comfort! Fortunately, he soon turns the whole exercise into yet another opportunity to further drain his household’s rapidly diminishing resources, which is much more his speed.

Dustin, 10/3/21

I’ve gotta say, I do enjoy the few Dustins that don’t focus on the strip’s generation-war shtick. Today there’s no hint of conflict between Dustin and his dad, just a young man giving in to heavy-lidded bliss at the thought that soon he’ll be devoured by this pack of hungry raccoons and all his troubles will be over.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 10/3/21

Leroy retreats to his mind palace, imagining watching the news with his wife and seeing yet another coastal city flooded by a category 5 Hurricane Loretta, the fifth storm with that name this year. “That’s what the mall looks like when you’re done with it,” he says, as scenes of ruined homes and stores flash on the screen. And she can’t do anything about it! It’s the World Meteorological Organization in Geneva, Switzerland, that’s naming them, not him!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 10/3/21

I’m sorry, Cassandra is a cat burglar and also an actual cat, so no, I don’t think she’s going to sheepishly reappear in the lobby once she realizes she got in an elevator that only goes up. She’ll be climbing down the side of the building within minutes, or maybe just leaping from rooftop to rooftop to make her escape. The only “error” she’s made is getting those severe bangs.