Post Content

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the time, effort, and talent he puts into keeping our beloved newspaper comics alive and relevant here on the Internet. And in this 10th anniversary year of the Comics Curmudgeon, we have some special gifts for our generous readers:

Every contributor of $25 or more will receive a roomy (16.5″ x 14.5″ x 3″) premium tote bag made from durable 5 oz. cotton, with long handles for easy toting. Perfect for concealing “stuff” on the way to eager consumers, horsey drawings to museums, or blood diamonds from jungle cancer clinics. Proudly emblazoned with a Comics Curmudgeon special edition version of Francesco Marciuliano’s original logo, transformed into three-color form by Alice Johnston, whom you should totally contact for all your design and color-separation needs. Tote proud!

Every contributor of $10 or more, including tote bag recipients, will receive one of the world-renowned Matt Crowe legacy comic magnets featured in our Spring 2013 Fundraiser and back by popular demand. These are sensitively curated from an entirely new collection of classic Rex Morgan, M.D., Judge Parker, and Mary Worth panels, and preserved in archival refrigerator magnet form for your continued enjoyment and holding up of shopping lists and kids’ artwork. Check out Matt’s most recent work on his Twitter feed.

And of course every contributor of any amount receives the grateful thanks of Josh and the entire Comics Curmudgeon fan base, plus the satisfaction of sustaining one of the Internet’s greatest Forces for Good.

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. Full details here, along with an index to all the banners in rotation at the top of the page and from previous fundraisers — more than 450 in all!

Thank you, generous readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Good morning, all! Just a programming note to let you know that I depart on vacation today, and your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be in the driver’s seat around here for a bit more than a week. I’ll be back with another set of comments of the week on Monday the 23rd. Till then, be good! This comment will have to last you till then:

“And nobody — not the characters in the strip who know him, not the 30 plus snarky commenters here so far — is the slightest curious about just why Sarge is in the hospital. All’s well that ends well, that’s what I always say.” –Dr. Mabuse

And the runners up! Very funny!

Judge Parker: “Only in this strip would a character be given a handful of diamonds and a sincere apology that she wasn’t given even more diamonds.” –Ratiocinator

“You know, most Canadian kids first learn about sex when they hear the snowmen they made in the front yard fucking in the night.” –pugfuggly

“Congratulations, Ari from A3G, you have successfully made me ashamed of the basic concept of the beard. Even Ian from Mary Worth couldn’t do that.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Mark Trail, writer, outdoorsman, puncher of side burned ruffians and peeping tom. The peeping tom part would be disturbing, but given it’s Mark, it is assuredly not sexual in nature. ‘Ooo, yeah … No griddle for you guys, just a hot skillet … mmmm.'” –Kevin on Earth

“Dolly can’t even write a complete sentence without being overwhelmed by self-doubt.” –Guts Dozier

“According to grandpa-dressed-circa-1910, the number of ‘bro’ that should trigger a vicious Heathcliff attack is exactly 1.” –hognenmogen

“Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, forced to endure his boss and his Iron Man-suited gallivanting, wishing nothing more than to be able to slip on the helmet himself and fly away, and resigning himself to the knowledge that his freakishly large hands wouldn’t fit in the rest of the suit.” –Chareth Cutestory

“I’m less interested in where Heathcliff got that rad ‘HEY’ helmet than in where he got a cat-sized martini glass.” –Doctor Handsome

“My guess, Dennis, is that he’d look something like that drawing on your wall. Pleasant dreams!” –Pozzo

Luann: “So this sets up the future of the strip perfectly! Rosa goes to Yale and becomes a highly paid, successful lawyer and Luann becomes her live in maid! Ha! Everyone gets confused because they always wrongly assume Rosa is the maid! What a hilarious and unlikely scenario! Hilarious because of the wacky confusion and unlikely because Luann is too fucking stupid and lazy to become a maid.” –Mikey

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And, just as an advertising program note, I’ve started using BuySellAds as a platform for you to buy ads directly on my site on a CPM basis. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Post Content

Hey, remember when I did a Kickstarter to write a novel? Whatever happened with that? Well, if you’d like an update, I posted one. Short version: book by the end of November! I hope!

And now, your comment of the week:

“From somewhere deep in the infernal bowels of the Underframe, Tommie’s deer is filled with the satisfaction of a job well done. No more will this ‘Jim’ steal my thunder, it thinks. Now my thunder has stolen HIM.” –Guts Dozier

And the very funny runners up!

“Remember back when we all used to complain that Judge Parker himself never appeared in his own strip? How I miss those days.” –John C Fremont

“‘I don’t know really what an editor does, Daddy!’ Yes, your atrocious syntax bears that out, Sarah.” –Doctor Handsome

“I’m having a difficult time thinking of something less likely to aid digestion than a walk with Wilbur.” –nescio

“Think the front of Montoni’s stinks? Check out the alley.” –Écureuil Écumant

“Oh, Brawny Towel Guy, how are we ever going to clean up these spilled liquids!” –Chareth Cutestory

“Poor Rose. She not only has to break the news about Jim’s gruesome death to Tommie, which was totally Tommie’s fault, but Rose now has to explain the theory of flight, why planes crash and people die, why bad things happen to good people. The poor old thing is in for a long, long conversation and at the end of it, Tommie is just as likely to reply ‘But Jim and I are still getting married, right?'” –Gabacho

“I don’t normally praise the art in Family Circus (as it should go without saying), but the expression on the father’s face is perfect. That moment of realization that the kid’s not joking, she really doesn’t get that the book represents a static, unchanging story, that it’s not going to change every time. A mingled shock, sadness, and disappointment. This is my legacy, this is the rotten fruit of my seed.” –Voshkod

“Nope! I’m really inside this thi— oh, I see. My face is outside the helmet. Yeah, I have absolutely no idea how this suit works. Better not use a flash on that photo, just in case” –Dan

Judge Parker: “They’re all I have left in the world. Well, besides this giant compound, my large staff of assistants and mercenaries, the millions in drug money and my warehouse of looted art. But that’s all going to the tarantula, of course.” –pugfuggly

“I can imagine Mark [Trail]’s daily life. Mark: ‘Hey, Socket Wrench, can you fix my car today?’ SW: ‘Sorry, Mark, I’m booked up for weeks. You’ll have to make an appointment.’ Mark: ‘Sure seems odd that Socket Wrench is a mechanic but didn’t want to fix my car for me.’ SW: ‘I’m standing right here.'” –Cloudbuster

“Better get used to this, dear. Now that you’re going to be a Parker, people will constantly be giving you valuables.” –Digger

“‘How does it make you feel?’ ‘We’re proprietors of a fixed-cost-heavy operation in a low-income area. We need volume to turn a profit. We may be forced to buy a new truck to take on even more fixed cost. Our whole family works here. If we go broke, we have no second income to support us. Look at these bills. Look at the empty seats in front of you. If it weren’t for Token White Guy coming in for a punchline, we’d have gone under years ago. We need a joke setup with multiple customers fast. How does THAT make YOU feel??” –hogenmogen

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And, just as an advertising program note, I’ve started using BuySellAds as a platform for you to buy ads directly on my site on a CPM basis. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.