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Slightly shorter list of comments of the week for a somewhat shorter week on my part, but this week’s top comment still delivers the laffs!

“Really liking that accusing look on Dennis’s face. ‘I was promised some kind of circus freak who lived like a dog, and instead I get this boring suburban schmoe? Boo! Zero stars!’” –pugfuggly

As do the very funny runners up!

“Or, you know, just throw out that tacky cheap pink vase, Lois. There is no way Hi is going to use the Japanese art of kintsugi to bring new life to it. At best he’ll slather on some Gorilla glue and you’ll constantly have to remember to turn that side to the wall.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Big props to yesterday’s Judge Parker for resolving a plot hole with ‘There was probably an entry code for the vacation home in the stuff Glen sent me, which I didn’t read.’ This rings true to life! On the other hand ‘The CIA agent has a pierced septum’ is probably also true to life and I hate it.” –matt w

“Good resume. But she said she wanted to learn from me, and I wouldn’t like to have any employee with low enough self esteem to actually respect me. Have you seen our record?” –Philip

“Since there are no canals in Hartlepool (research consisting solely of scanning the Wikipedia page of that fair city and not seeing any photos of them), I’d like to think that Andy has fallen into an open sewage ditch. Don’t worry, nothing can kill him!” –But What Do I Know?

“Ever since our AI overlords banished women to an infinite plane that just contains kitchen appliances, I don’t get to talk to my friends much anyway. Who knew that this was how Gamergate was going to end?” –Voshkod

“Yeah, right. You didn’t, Naomi. Olive saved her life. You have nice hair, though.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I might be wrong but I think this whole story line is the plot to Madame Web.” –LTJpezcore1

“Heathcliff’s sign is a command, people! You are BLOWING this!” –A Grave Mind

“It’s late, we should be going. Not that sitting here on your sectional and staring at each other all night wasn’t fun, but we were kind of hoping you would offer us some drinks or snacks or entertainment or conversation. Still, your cat’s writing demonstration was a real surprise, so the evening wasn’t a total loss.” –BigTed

“Heathcliff is holding the sign facing away from the group. The other side says ‘Fuck you people.’” –The Rambling Otter

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Hi all! Your comment of the week in a moment, but first, a programming note: I’ll be on vacation for the next week and change and will leave you in the hands of your favorite Uncle Lumpy. I’ll be back posting on Monday, August 18th. Be nice while I’m gone! And because Uncle Lumpy can’t bear to choose from amongst you, the following comment of the week will get two full weeks in the spotlight!

“I know somebody probably just woke her up but I’d be more interested in her as a character if Neddy waited until she was nice and cozy in bed because it soothes her to get Randy all agitated and that makes for a pleasant, restful sleep.” –Tabby Lavalamp

These runners up also will live on for eternity (or at least for two weeks):

“Imagine if when you die, you’re transported to the bardo and your entire vision is filled with the face of a universe-sized Barry booming ‘Suppose our souls are here to fulfill some grand purpose?’ I’d begging for good old Judeo-Christian Hell after that sight.” –Schroduck

“Cody has made the rookie mistake of predicating his next move on something happening in Rex Morgan, M.D. He could be well on his way to his next reincarnation before one of his half-sibs decides to respond to or even read a message that begins, ‘I am your long-lost half brother.’” –But What Do I Know?

“Why are there large ensembles of characters in every single Slylock Fox tableau? Can’t there ever be one-on-ones between characters? Every displayed panel makes the strip seem like a Fellini comic for kids.” –Bob Tice

“Herb goes full jailhouse lawyer when he gets a fix or desist notice from the board of health. Jamaal thinks; ‘Just shut up and clean the damn grease hood.’” –Hibbleton

“Cody’s on the road while he waits for a response from his half siblings. He probably should have set up his stage in an arena instead of in the middle of I-30 during rush hour, but he didn’t quite understand what ‘being on the road’ meant. It’s only a question of whether the commuters or the cops get him first now.” –Voshkod

“The lines of prejudice are already drawn in the post-Animalpocalypse world, with the hippos being profiled as lumbering and clumsy. They will retaliate by waiting until Granny and her grandson are walking by the pond in the park, grabbing them in their powerful jaws, and dragging them to a watery grave.” –TheDiva

“Today’s Slylock Fox answers the tail question: The tail comes out over the pants and under the jacket. This is perfectly modest because even when a fox is bipedal, his tail is above his butt. I’m sure a lot of information on the anthropomorphic fox tail/butt question can be found on the internet, where I will not look for it.” –matt w

“Goat kid has a modern gaming console, but has to wait until grandma is out shopping to indulge in that most popular of activities among the youth, indoor hopping on a pogo stick.” –Comrade Gordon

“It adds an extra layer of humor for me to imagine that Andy is only just coming home well after sunrise, having spent most of the night in hospital or, more likely, unconscious behind the bar. His wife is only a little curious about what happened to him, having resigned herself to the fact that he’s never going to die.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“No, no, no! Whatever else is true about Gertie, she’s not wearing bootleg Earnhardt shirts in public! She’s going to shell out the money for a decent font with a border, not this teal-and-black nightmare!” –Victor Von

“Really love the middle-distance stare Mary gives as she spits out those local beach names. I guess the Google Brain chip installation really took!” –pugfuggly

“If NOT ME is transparent, then why does his forearm partially obscure his face, even as the beach behind is fully visible? Is this consistent with the rules of phantasmoptics?” –Guts Dozier

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!