Archive: metaposts

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Open talks: on the one hand, they’re an invaluable therapeutic tool (NOTE: Open talks have not been certified by the American Psychological Association as a therapeutic tool and are not intended to diagnose or treat any mental illness), but on the other hand they can sometimes lead to feedback — unwelcome feedback. People need to be cautioned about the potential for such feedback! And what better way to caution everyone in advance than to wear a t-shirt with this logo on it?

This logo was designed by faithful reader and logo-design hero A-wel Cruiz and you can now buy it on just about any CafePress product you can imagine, including thongs, but if you want it on some product you don’t see there just email me and I’ll add it. Feedback! Sharing! Open feedback sharing fever! Catch it, by buying products from my CafePress store. And then send me pictures of you wearing them, so I can showcase them on the site!

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Well, I hope it’s still pleasant and late summer where you are, ladies and gentlemen. In any event, here is your comment of the week!

“Oh, Sarah. Always worrying about being too different while sitting in your veil of darkness. More Snickerdoodles?” –Notmydesk

And here is your list of runners up! Very funny!

Dog-and-hydrant jokes are the last refuge of the lazy comics writer. Whenever you run out of ideas, you can just go with ‘Marmaduke doesn’t use hydrants any more. He got a smartphone app for that.’ and all the four-year-olds who pay for home newspaper delivery will chuckle at the trenchant combination of social commentary and implied urine.” –Kibo

“The fox folds his arms. ‘Your scheme will fail, Weirdly. The balloon will pop due to atmospheric pressure. And definitely not because my secret Air Force will destroy it to prevent surveillance competition.'” –Bunivasal

“See, ‘full-fledged’ is actually an ornithological term, indicating that a baby bird has finally grown its feathers out and is ready to start flying. So in the context of airline school, it is a pun. Also, as the baby bird, or ‘chick’ of this scenario, Marylou says ‘Gotta go!’ because she is preparing to ‘leave the nest.’ Mell Lazarus trusts his audience to unpack the multilayered humor of this strip with the same agility that they use to decipher the Bible Code.” –damanoid

“Kinda sad Marylou didn’t just respond with ‘HOLY FUCK WHO’S FLYING THE PLANE'” –Tophat

This strip is the UR-Trail. Until now we have all been chained in a cave, witnessing shadows of Mark Trail strips on the cavern walls. Today we have walked outside, and seen Mark Trail for the first time, in its purest form: Threat … Punch … Yell … Jack Elrod.” –Dan

“My kids left for school at 7 a.m. Who does Jell-O shots at seven in the freakin’ morning? Oh, right, cartoonists.” –Bill Peschel

John Calder is your lieutenant governor. I voted for the other guy.” –Liam

“I have just realized that everyone knows who The Tarantula’s sister is. So why is he wearing the freakin’ mask? Is the mystery about which brother he is? Or does he just love the feeling of silk against his bewhiskered cheeks?” –Everything Is Better with Monkeys

“Reading a comic that’s been pimped out as a PSA is boring enough. This is even more boring than that. This reads like a comic about the strategy sessions for defining the PSA’s message.” –Cloudbuster

“WARNING: ‘OPEN TALK’ SESSIONS MAY RESULT IN FEEDBACK! GUESTS NOT PREPARED FOR FEEDBACK SHOULD TRY ‘CLOSED TALK’ OR ‘NO TALK’ SESSIONS.” –pugfuggly

“I have a simple wish for the characters in Better Half: that they be granted eyelids.” –Joe Blevins

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Oh hey have you been waiting for your COTW? Well brace yourself ’cause here it is:

“I love that Westview’s teachers always discover these draconian cuts five minutes before school starts. Guys, those budget cuts were made last May. Remember when they fired Larry the choir director, and outsourced lunch to a Chinese firm? No, it didn’t happen to Les, so I suppose you don’t.” –The Ghost of Jarrod

Your runners up are also amusing!

“Leroy’s look of disgust really tells the story. I mean, if Olive Garden didn’t want people to sit in their restaurants, eating basket after basket of free breadsticks while being a condescending prick to the staff, it shouldn’t advertise free breadsticks. I mean come on, this is America.” –Tophat

“Our police use power consumption to find grow-ops and drug labs all the time. I can only imagine Shylock’s initial glee and eventual disappointment when he got the call from the power company. ‘Finally!’ he thinks. ‘A real crime! No more stolen ice cream cones and counterfeit medicine. Breaking up a drug empire is my ticket out of this … Oh, for fuck’s sake … Penguins? Really?'” –Guts Dozier

“I love that one kid on the beach lost in thought, reading the back of his can of Crush Orange: ‘So refreshing! Does it actually have oranges in it? Hmmm … it does have citric acid, so yes, but what’s all this ester gum? It doesn’t taste like Bubblicious at all!'” –sporknpork

“As Rusty devours his ‘pizza’ Mark is scribbling in his notebook ‘drugs only gave Rusty insane dreams. Next time, use stronger dosage.'” –Digger

“Mark’s not even listening. ‘Indeed, Rusty … indeed!’ is just the generic response he has cued up whenever the hideous demon-child starts to speak. ‘Can I bring this plugged-in toaster in the bathtub with me, Mark?’ ‘Indeed, Rusty … indeed!’ ‘What lies beyond this world, Mark? Is it just a blank, formless void, an inescapable vortex where our screams go unheard for all eternity?’ ‘Indeed, Rusty … indeed!’ Meanwhile, Mark’s thinking about beige shirts or tree sap or something like that.” –Joe Blevins
ry

“Hey Andy, why don’t you have a punny name, huh? Who the hell hired you?” –TheDiva

“Has Gil been reading my diary? And for the record, Kaz, no, not at all like your index finger.” –Esther Blodgett

“Of course pluggers are uninterested in sex. A single plugger family can consist of members of approximately eight different and completely incompatible species. Frankly I don’t know why they exist at all.” –C. Sandy Cyst

Judge Parker: “Let’s not do this until Thalia wakes up. I mean, what are the odds that the kidnappers will cut off any important parts of Ross’ anatomy in the next hour? Virtually 50/50, and I for one am comfortable with those odds since I don’t know him!” –Ratiocinator

“The governor has swiftly aged from ‘that handsome young man’ to ‘1970s character actor Joseph Campanella’ and will likely be ‘Regis Philbin on a bad day’ by the end of next month. Hey, Lu Ann has been widowed before, right?” –Ed Dravecky

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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