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Thank you all for being so kind to Uncle Lumpy — and for being so kind to me in the hugely successful spring fundraiser! I’ll be contacting everyone individually over the next week to thank you and find out where I should be sending your rewards. But a big thank you to all now. Some Monday comics will appear later this afternoon, but until then, what better thanks could you get than a tasty comment of the week?

“This Pluggers is either extremely meta or utterly oblivious, and the fact that I can’t decide which spooks me the hell out.” –Fillmore East

And the hilarious runners up!

“Of course a Winkerbean is smoking outside. That’s what happens when you expose them to the light of day.” –Droopy Says

Apartment 3-G: “We need to talk. You’ve actually worked here a total of three days in the past two years, and now you show up stinking of deer shit and grief. It’s got to stop!” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“I’m sorry, Tommie, but you’re only human. Unlike me, the incredible GOATWOMAN!” –pugfuggly

“Spiderman: ‘I’m here to save you!’ Worker: ‘Dude, we’re just filming a commercial for crazy glue!'” –hogenmogen

“Luann’s measure of a close relationship is how well she can exploit it.” –TheDiva

“Next season on Marvinpiece Theatre: ‘Gruppenfuhrer Marvin and His Wacky Stormpoopers.’” –Pozzo

“I think this is the foundation for the old expression, ‘He screwed the pooch.’” –Dennis Jimenez

“Next on Marvin: 12 Years a Toddler” –Nuklhd

“If you buy the Judge Parker Blooper Reel you can see how many times the actors cracked up after the line, ‘Sorry, Flaco, I jerked on the stick.’” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Retro things are cool; retro people are pluggers.” –Baka Gaijin

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And, just as an advertising program note, I’ve started using BuySellAds as a platform for you to buy ads directly on my site on a CPM basis. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the time, effort, and talent he puts into keeping our beloved newspaper comics alive and relevant here on the Internet. And in this 10th anniversary year of the Comics Curmudgeon, we have some special gifts for our generous readers:

Every contributor of $25 or more will receive a roomy (16.5″ x 14.5″ x 3″) premium tote bag made from durable 5 oz. cotton, with long handles for easy toting. Perfect for concealing “stuff” on the way to eager consumers, horsey drawings to museums, or blood diamonds from jungle cancer clinics. Proudly emblazoned with a Comics Curmudgeon special edition version of Francesco Marciuliano’s original logo, transformed into three-color form by Alice Johnston, whom you should totally contact for all your design and color-separation needs. Tote proud!

Every contributor of $10 or more, including tote bag recipients, will receive one of the world-renowned Matt Crowe legacy comic magnets featured in our Spring 2013 Fundraiser and back by popular demand. These are sensitively curated from an entirely new collection of classic Rex Morgan, M.D., Judge Parker, and Mary Worth panels, and preserved in archival refrigerator magnet form for your continued enjoyment and holding up of shopping lists and kids’ artwork. Check out Matt’s most recent work on his Twitter feed.

And of course every contributor of any amount receives the grateful thanks of Josh and the entire Comics Curmudgeon fan base, plus the satisfaction of sustaining one of the Internet’s greatest Forces for Good.

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. Full details here, along with an index to all the banners in rotation at the top of the page and from previous fundraisers — more than 450 in all!

Thank you, generous readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Good morning, all! Just a programming note to let you know that I depart on vacation today, and your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be in the driver’s seat around here for a bit more than a week. I’ll be back with another set of comments of the week on Monday the 23rd. Till then, be good! This comment will have to last you till then:

“And nobody — not the characters in the strip who know him, not the 30 plus snarky commenters here so far — is the slightest curious about just why Sarge is in the hospital. All’s well that ends well, that’s what I always say.” –Dr. Mabuse

And the runners up! Very funny!

Judge Parker: “Only in this strip would a character be given a handful of diamonds and a sincere apology that she wasn’t given even more diamonds.” –Ratiocinator

“You know, most Canadian kids first learn about sex when they hear the snowmen they made in the front yard fucking in the night.” –pugfuggly

“Congratulations, Ari from A3G, you have successfully made me ashamed of the basic concept of the beard. Even Ian from Mary Worth couldn’t do that.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Mark Trail, writer, outdoorsman, puncher of side burned ruffians and peeping tom. The peeping tom part would be disturbing, but given it’s Mark, it is assuredly not sexual in nature. ‘Ooo, yeah … No griddle for you guys, just a hot skillet … mmmm.'” –Kevin on Earth

“Dolly can’t even write a complete sentence without being overwhelmed by self-doubt.” –Guts Dozier

“According to grandpa-dressed-circa-1910, the number of ‘bro’ that should trigger a vicious Heathcliff attack is exactly 1.” –hognenmogen

“Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, forced to endure his boss and his Iron Man-suited gallivanting, wishing nothing more than to be able to slip on the helmet himself and fly away, and resigning himself to the knowledge that his freakishly large hands wouldn’t fit in the rest of the suit.” –Chareth Cutestory

“I’m less interested in where Heathcliff got that rad ‘HEY’ helmet than in where he got a cat-sized martini glass.” –Doctor Handsome

“My guess, Dennis, is that he’d look something like that drawing on your wall. Pleasant dreams!” –Pozzo

Luann: “So this sets up the future of the strip perfectly! Rosa goes to Yale and becomes a highly paid, successful lawyer and Luann becomes her live in maid! Ha! Everyone gets confused because they always wrongly assume Rosa is the maid! What a hilarious and unlikely scenario! Hilarious because of the wacky confusion and unlikely because Luann is too fucking stupid and lazy to become a maid.” –Mikey

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And, just as an advertising program note, I’ve started using BuySellAds as a platform for you to buy ads directly on my site on a CPM basis. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.